How to Effectively Deal with the Emotional Roller Coaster

What Infidelity Looks & Feels Like

A Thousand Questions

Can I trust you?

Why was I so stupid?

How did I miss the signs?

Did you?

How did this happen?

Will this happen?

What, when, where, why?

What’s next?

Looking to the Future…

Where do we go from here?

How do we stop the emotional roller coaster?

Three Building Blocks to Recovery

Act on Truth

Communicate Understanding

Genuine Openness and

Self-Awareness

Genuine Openness Self-Awareness

Talk – full disclosure

Answer questions

Talking heals

Two peoplelearning about self

Asking difficult personal questions

Genuine Openness

The Person Who Had the Affair

The Person Who Was Cheated On

Discuss the whole situation

Answer thequestions

Communicating desire for the relationship

Ask yourquestions

Learn to talkabout your pain

Express your truthwith love

Self-Awareness

The Person Who Had the Affair

The Person Who Was Cheated On

Beyond the Justification

The Questions

Hurt

Anger

Disconnection

Learn from your pain

How did I miss this the signs?

Boundaries

What can I learn from this experience?

Communicate Understanding

Role of the One Who

Had the Affair

Role of the One Who Was Cheated

OnI have to earnback the trust

I don’t expect quick forgiveness

I want to better understand your pain

I apologize for the pain I caused

I am willing tocontinually admit my mistake

I want to find a good resolution

I will own up to my issues

I understand that for us to heal I have to let you deal with your

strugglesI will talk openly about my

pain, not in a punishing way

I will have compassion on you because I have loved you

Act on the Truth

Role of the One Who

Had the Affair

Role of the One Who Was Cheated On

You’ve said it now do it

Earn trustLow cost High cost

Pay the price–feel your partner’s emotions

Feel good about your forgiveness

Be present

Deal with your pain

Grow

Allow connection

Take risks

Three Building Blocks to Recovery

Act on Truth

Communicate Understanding

Genuine Openness and

Self-Awareness