How the Bough How the Bough Bends:Bends:

The Creation of Family, Kinship and The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Community by Users of Donated

GametesGametesLeanna Wolfe, Ph.D.Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D.

Presentation to the American Anthropological Presentation to the American Anthropological AssociationAssociation

November 15, 2006November 15, 2006

Who Uses Donated Who Uses Donated Gametes?Gametes?

Single Mothers by Choice (SMCsSingle Mothers by Choice (SMCs 17% rise in babies born to 30-44 17% rise in babies born to 30-44

unmarried women between 1999-2003unmarried women between 1999-2003 Lesbian CouplesLesbian Couples Families with Fertility IssuesFamilies with Fertility Issues

donor spermdonor sperm donor eggsdonor eggs donor embryosdonor embryos

The Gamete Donation The Gamete Donation BusinessBusiness

Sperm BanksSperm Banks California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials

of sperm to single women in 2005. of sperm to single women in 2005. Egg Donor AgenciesEgg Donor Agencies

$8,000 fees are typical$8,000 fees are typical Surrogate MothersSurrogate Mothers Gestational SurrogatesGestational Surrogates

Research MethodsResearch Methods Participant ObservationParticipant Observation Online Support GroupsOnline Support Groups Infertility ConferencesInfertility Conferences In-Person Support GroupsIn-Person Support Groups InterviewsInterviews Email SurveysEmail Surveys

What Gamete Recipients What Gamete Recipients SeekSeek

IntelligenceIntelligence PersonalityPersonality

Sperm Donors--sense of humorSperm Donors--sense of humor Egg Donors--goalsEgg Donors--goals

GeneticsGenetics Phenotype MatchesPhenotype Matches Open vs AnonymousOpen vs Anonymous Full Legal RightsFull Legal Rights

Sperm Recipients vs Egg Sperm Recipients vs Egg RecipientsRecipients

Single Mothers by Single Mothers by ChoiceChoice

Body is Normal; Life Body is Normal; Life is Abnormalis Abnormal

If Fertility Challenges; If Fertility Challenges; Life and Body both Life and Body both feel Abnormalfeel Abnormal

Mothers through Mothers through Egg DonationEgg Donation

Life is Normal; Life is Normal; Body is Abnormal Body is Abnormal and for some, and for some, Intensely AbnormalIntensely Abnormal

Single Mother by Choice Single Mother by Choice ProfileProfile

Late 20s through mid 40sLate 20s through mid 40s Highly Educated with Professional CareerHighly Educated with Professional Career

Often Financially SecureOften Financially Secure Fiercely IndependentFiercely Independent Family RevolutionariesFamily Revolutionaries

Clear distinction between themselves and Clear distinction between themselves and women who become single mothers through women who become single mothers through divorce or by accident divorce or by accident

Biotime Clock PressureBiotime Clock Pressure Baby First; Marriage MaybeBaby First; Marriage Maybe

SMC Process (part I)SMC Process (part I)ThinkingThinking

No more time to wait for Mr. RightNo more time to wait for Mr. Right Implications of an SMC IdentityImplications of an SMC Identity Networking/Support GroupsNetworking/Support Groups FinancesFinances Personal Support SystemPersonal Support System Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream

of Parenting with a Beloved Husbandof Parenting with a Beloved Husband

I’ve faced that I’m not going to have this picket-fence-y life…now I have permission to directly pursue what I want. It’s a very curious and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather not be single. It’s not my first choice.

TTC Choice Mother

SMC Process (part II)SMC Process (part II)(Separation)(Separation)

Trying to Conceive (TTC) Trying to Conceive (TTC) Scheduled InseminationsScheduled Inseminations

2 week wait2 week wait Fertility BoostersFertility Boosters

IUI, IVF, hormone regimensIUI, IVF, hormone regimens Many were unaware how fragile female fertility isMany were unaware how fragile female fertility is

Deciding on a DonorDeciding on a Donor Anonymous vs. OpenAnonymous vs. Open Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to HerselfDream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself Sperm Bank vs. Private ArrangementSperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement

When it came to donor selection, I found it almost as difficult as selectinga husband, but was thankfully moresuccessful at it. It was a fascinating process in that the package of traits I focussed on were different from those Ilooked at on a date or in a relationship.

Choice Mother of a one year old child

My very first consideration for choosing a donor was that he be “open” or willing to meet my child after he or she turns 18…. Intelligence was a huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own identity wrapped up in intelligence and really want the same for my child.

TTC Choice Mother

I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I realized that there was not an unlimited catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I went with intelligence and personality.

Choice Mother of two children

SMC Process (part III)SMC Process (part III)(liminal phase)(liminal phase)

PregnancyPregnancy FearFear Begin incorporating New IdentityBegin incorporating New Identity Start Building Support SystemStart Building Support System

Social, Physical, EmotionalSocial, Physical, Emotional May Stop DatingMay Stop Dating

Shift in expectations from relationships with Shift in expectations from relationships with menmen

SMC Process (part IV)SMC Process (part IV)(re-incorporation)(re-incorporation)

BirthBirth ParentingParenting

Allomothers and DaddiesAllomothers and Daddies Support SystemsSupport Systems

Blood FamilyBlood Family Other SMCsOther SMCs Extended Family via Donor Sibling RegistryExtended Family via Donor Sibling Registry

Networks can be akin to a polygynous family Networks can be akin to a polygynous family without the financial support or physical presence without the financial support or physical presence of the progenitor/father.of the progenitor/father.

Its exceptionally important that my son know other children who are “like him” so that he does not feel like an anomaly. I have found that having a child on my own has made him something of a community baby….unlike married couples who want/expect privacy on these issues.

Choice Mother of a one year old child

Egg Recipient ProfileEgg Recipient Profile Married/Nuclear FamilyMarried/Nuclear Family

some SMCssome SMCs 30s-early 50s30s-early 50s Fertility ProblemsFertility Problems

often age-related often age-related unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatmentsunsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments

Very much want children OR siblings for Very much want children OR siblings for their birth childrentheir birth children

Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part I)I) ThinkingThinking

Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?child?

Costs? Very ExpensiveCosts? Very Expensive Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance CoverageDonor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage

Tell Others? Keep Secret?Tell Others? Keep Secret? Compare to AdoptionCompare to Adoption

More control over prenatal environmentMore control over prenatal environment Health ConsiderationsHealth Considerations

for both mother and babiesfor both mother and babies

Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part II)II)

(separation)(separation) Trying to ConceiveTrying to Conceive

Selecting a DonorSelecting a Donor ProtocolsProtocols

Sync up recipient and donors menstrual Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cyclescycles

IVF process for donorIVF process for donor Uterine prep process for recipientUterine prep process for recipient TransferTransfer 2 week wait2 week wait

Most Important Egg Donor Most Important Egg Donor QualitiesQualities

0102030405060708090

Rac

e/Et

hnic

ity

Inte

lligen

ce

Gen

etic

Prof

ile

Pers

onal

ity

Important

Not Important

Desired Egg Donor QualitiesDesired Egg Donor Qualities

0102030405060708090

Hai

r/Eye

Col

or

Hei

ght/B

uild

Alle

rgie

s

Rel

igio

n

Important

Not Important

Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who blended well with us…they didn’t have to match me! I had no interest in telling the general public about our infertility issues… It all worked out in theend, I went with my gut and I wasn’t wrong.

DE Mother

One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo. She had an expression that could have been me in college. She didn’t look like me. She was no clone. But something in that expression spoke to me.

DE Mother of two children

We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge. She seemed to love life

Expectant DE Mother

Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part III)III)

(liminal phase)(liminal phase) PregnancyPregnancy

Often DifficultOften Difficult MiscarriagesMiscarriages

embryos that might otherwise have never embryos that might otherwise have never implantedimplanted

Premature BirthsPremature Births MultiplesMultiples

anxiety over carrying/raising twins+anxiety over carrying/raising twins+

Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part IV)IV)

(re-incorporation)(re-incorporation) BirthBirth

C-sections commonC-sections common Immediate Love for the BabyImmediate Love for the Baby

Babies treated w/extreme care & devotionBabies treated w/extreme care & devotion Postpartum Depression RarePostpartum Depression Rare

Very relieved to finally become a MotherVery relieved to finally become a Mother ParentingParenting

Join the world of “normal” parentsJoin the world of “normal” parents

ConclusionsConclusions Gamete seekers focus on intelligence, Gamete seekers focus on intelligence,

personality and phenotypepersonality and phenotype Seek “normal” gametes to create Seek “normal” gametes to create

“normal” families“normal” families Family/Community Revolutionaries?Family/Community Revolutionaries?

Donor Sibling RegistryDonor Sibling Registry DE support through conception process DE support through conception process

but little interest in social networking for but little interest in social networking for parenting.parenting.

New Definitions of Family and CommunityNew Definitions of Family and Community