how full is your bucket - connecting for kids · 2014-04-29 · how full is your bucket? except...
TRANSCRIPT
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How Full is Your Bucket?
Except where otherwise noted, content is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution – Non-Commercial License
CHEO Mental Health Information Committee
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Goldilocks and the Three Bears
• Once upon a time, there was a girl named Goldilocks
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• She went for a walk in the forest, and came upon a house….
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She went into the kitchen, and there were three bowls of porridge
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The first porridge she tried was ___?
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The first porridge she tried was TOO HOT
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The second porridge she tried was _____?
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The second porridge she tried was TOO COLD!
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The last porridge she tried was ____ ?
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The last porridge she tried was JUST RIGHT!
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Goldilocks and the Three Bears
• The last porridge is JUST RIGHT!
Image from http://www.public.asu.edu/~atbrl/goldibowls.gif
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“Just right”
• Just like Goldilocks, there are times when you feel “Just right”
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• In order to properly – Learn
– Work
– Play
• You need to be “just right”
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You Have a Bucket! • To feel just right,
you have to have “just enough” going inside your Bucket!
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What do you mean, a bucket?
• Our bucket holds all our sensory stimulation/input as well as the stresses, frustrations, worries, and basically everything that we have to deal with each day
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Some people have large buckets; others small….
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Different Things Fill Our Buckets
• What fills your bucket might not fill another person’s bucket
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Different Things Empty Our Buckets
• What empties your bucket might not empty another person’s bucket
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Getting “just right” is about getting just enough senses* in your bucket
• Touching
• Hearing
• Seeing
• Taste
• Smells
• Movement
* sensory input, sensory stimulation, etc…
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Getting “Just Right” is also about Life being Balanced
Demands /
Expectations /
Stresses Coping Ability
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Typical demands/expectations
• Physical – All the physical expectations that our body has to
cope with to get by every day
– Medical, psychiatric and developmental conditions (e.g. sensory processing disorders) can all make it tougher on our bodies
• School/work – Teachers / schoolwork
– Other students, bullying, peer pressure, etc.
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Typical demands/expectations
• Friends – Friends – Boyfriends/girlfriends – Drug Use – Peer pressure
• Home – Parents
• Separation/divorce
– Brothers / sisters
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Q. What happens when demands/stresses >> coping?
Demands /
Expectations /
Stresses
Coping Ability
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When overwhelmed, people may have problems with…
• How they feel physically • Their emotions
– Fight (e.g. anger) – Flight (e.g. anxiety) – Freeze – Sadness – Etc…
• Their behaviours – Withdrawal – Aggression – Controlling – ETc…
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There are two solutions to restore the balance...
Demands /
Expectations /
Stresses
Coping Ability
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Q. What happens when coping >> demands/stresses?
Demands /
Expectations /
Stresses
Coping Ability
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The underwhelmed individual may have:
• Complaints of boredom and even… – Depression / anxiety / anger, etc..
• Do things to stimulate him/herself to keep from being bored!
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Life is like Weightlifting
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Life is like Weightlifting
Life is best when you can lift what life gives you, i.e. when your lifting ability matches the weight you have to lift
50 kg 50 kg
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Life is like weightlifting
Child’s Coping:
Ability: what the
child can lift Demands: what we
are asking the child
to lift
100 kg
5 kg
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Question
What would happen if you could only lift 5
kg, but someone forced you to lift 100 kg?
100 kg
5 kg
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Answer
You’d get hurt, injured, bruised, and be
extremely stressed! And your nervous
system would get angry [“fight”] or scared,
anxious [“flight”], etc…
100 kg
5 kg
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Q. So what is the solution?
100 kg
5 kg
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Answer
6 kg
1. Reduce expectations lower and lower until child is successful 2. Once child is successful, then gradually increase expectations again over time
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Answer
1. Reduce expectations lower and lower until child is successful 2. Once child is successful, then gradually increase expectations again over time
6 kg 7 kg
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Q. When are you feeling “Just Right” ?
• (Usually its doing the things you like to do, like a favourite subject/class, activity, having fun with family/friends…)
1. _____________________ 2. _____________________ 3. _____________________ 4. _____________________ 5. _____________________
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Our Bucket Can Be Empty, Just Right, or Too Full!
Bucket Empty!
Bored Underwhelmed,
understimulated, too little stimulation
Just Right
“Just right” or just enough stimulation
Bucket Full!
Frustrated, mad, angry, upset
Overwhelmed, overstimulated, too
much stimulation
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• Frustrated
• Sad
• Worried / Nervous (“Flight” response)
• Irritable / Angry (“Fight” response), etc…
When our Bucket is Full, We Can Feel…
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Its easier to empty our bucket if we can do it BEFORE it gets
completely full
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What fills your bucket is different for each person, and includes sensory
things
• Touching, some people don’t like touch
• Hearing, some people don’t like sound
• Seeing, some people don’t like bright light
• Taste, some people are sensitive to tastes
• Smells, some people are sensitive to tastes
• Movement, some people are sensitive to movement
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Q. What Fills Up Your Bucket?
• (Usually its times when you’re mad, sad, scared, stressed, frustrated…)
1. _____________________ 2. _____________________ 3. _____________________ 4. _____________________ 5. _____________________
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Q. What Fills Up Your Bucket?
For those with sensory issues, it might include…
1. Sensory such as too little/muchSounds
• Touch • Movement • Smells • Light
2. Motor issues, e.g. fine motor such as handwriting, gross motor such as gym…
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Q. What Fills Up Your Bucket?
It might include… 1. Even the slightest
changes / transitions 2. School (teachers,
schoolwork, students) 3. Home (parents,
sisters/brothers) 4. Friends and
relationships, etc…
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Q. What empties your Bucket?
• (It might be the things you like to do, but includes soothing and ‘self-regulation’ strategies…)
1. _____________________ 2. _____________________ 3. _____________________ 4. _____________________ 5. _____________________
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Q. Things which Empty Everyone’s Bucket Are Usually…
• (So-called soothing or modulating strategies…)
1. Telling someone else! 2. Time outs when stressed/upset 3. Sleep 4. Proper nutrition 5. Sensory things (e.g. deep
pressure, rocking, soothing smells, soothing music, etc…)
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Other Ways of Talking About the Same Thing
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Ross Greene’s Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach
• Using the baskets is about reducing excessive demands/expectations, and reducing them to a level where the child can cope
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How is your Engine Running™?
Just right
Too High /
Overwhelmed
Too Low /
Underwhelmed
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Using your thumb! • You can ask your child to put his/her
thumb in 3 positions – Thumb up – “just right”
– Thumb down
– Thumb horizontal
– NEED TO FINE TUNE THIS ONE!
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How Full is Your Bucket?
Except where otherwise noted, content is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution – Non-Commercial License
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Our Bucket Can Be Empty, Just Right, or Too Full!
Bucket Empty!
Bored Underwhelmed,
understimulated, too little stimulation
Just Right
“Just right” or just enough stimulation
Bucket Full!
Frustrated, mad, angry, upset
Overwhelmed, overstimulated, too
much stimulation
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• Frustrated
• Sad
• Worried / Nervous (“Flight” response)
• Irritable / Angry (“Fight” response), etc…
When our Bucket is Full, We Can Feel…
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Its easier to empty our bucket if we can do it BEFORE it gets
completely full
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Extra Pictures
Except where otherwise noted, content is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution – Non-Commercial License
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Our Bucket Can Be Empty, Just Right, or Too Full!
Bucket Empty!
Bored Underwhelmed,
understimulated, too little stimulation
Just Right
“Just right” or just enough stimulation
Bucket Full!
Frustrated, mad, angry, upset
Overwhelmed, overstimulated, too
much stimulation
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• Frustrated
• Sad
• Worried / Nervous (“Flight” response)
• Irritable / Angry (“Fight” response), etc…
When our Bucket is Full, We Can Feel…
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Its easier to empty our bucket if we can do it BEFORE it gets
completely full
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Bucket Empty
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Bucket Just Right
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Getting Full
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Bucket Full!
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In summary… • Everyone has a bucket • Our bucket holds all our
stress and what we have to deal with every day
• Our buckets can be empty, full, but its best when its “just right” or “just full enough”
• We can do many things to 1) keep our bucket from filling or 2) empty our bucket!
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Take good care of your
“Bucket”, and it will take care of you!
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Thank you!
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Acknowledgements and License
• Thanks to all the children, youth, families, educators, and fellow colleagues who have helped give feedback on the Bucket!
• You are free to share and distribute as long as 1) these materials are not used commercially, and 2) as long as materials are distributed in its entirety
• If you are a non-profit organization / health professional, feel free to contact use about adapting these for your own use
• Knowledge must be shared
Except where otherwise noted, content is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution – Non-Commercial License