How can I make sure the evidence in my persuasive essay makes my point?

In this lesson you will learn how to revise your persuasive essay by

telling the reader how the evidence proves your point.

Let’s ReviewA Common Mistake

Evidence is clear to you, but not to the reader.

…and that’s why turtles are

awesome pets! Huh?

Let’s ReviewLet’s Review

Writing Process

Generate Ideas

Write Drafts

Revise & Edit

1 2 3

Revise: To improve your writing by making changes as you get new ideas.

Let’s ReviewLet’s Review

The dog ran out of the yard yesterday.

Yesterday, the sneaky dog scurried out of the yard.

1. Identify the topic sentences.

2. Reread the paragraphs and ask yourself, “ Do I need to explain my evidence?”

3. Add sentences which show how your evidence proves the topic sentence.

Let’sCore Lesson

1. Identify the topic sentences.Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species. Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals..

Core Lesson2. Reread the paragraphs and ask yourself, “Do I need to explain my evidence?”

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species.

Readers may not understand what

I mean when I say “breed”.

Core Lesson3. Add sentences which show how your evidence proves the topic sentence.

Try…“This shows…”

“I think…”

“You can tell…”

“Therefore…”

How can I add more to prove my

point?

1. Identify the topic sentences.Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species. Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals..

Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species

Readers may not understand what I mean by “breed”.

2

Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species.

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species. This shows zoos help to make sure new generations of animals are around for years.

3

1Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species. Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals..

Core Lesson

Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Scientists do research that can be very expensive, so

I’ll explain that.

2

Core Lesson

Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

I think that manyscientists would be unable to do their expensive researchwithout money from zoos.

3

1Core Lesson

Some species are endangered and need to be protected. There are hundreds of species around the world that are endangered. Once a species becomes extinct, it is gone forever. Therefore, zoos breed and raise babies of endangered species. Scientists at zoos learn new information about animals. There are many species that have never been studied in the wild. Scientists study animals in zoos to learn how to help them in the wild. The money that people spend at zoos helps the scientists pay for their studies.

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals.

Core Lesson

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals.

I might want to add a sentence

about “conservation”.

2

Core Lesson

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals.

Zoos teach kids about the importance of conservation. Conservation means saving and protecting nature.

3

When kids go to the zoo, they become curious about the animals they discover. Kids will think about why conserving animal habitats is important. Some kids that live the city will only get a chance to experience nature at a zoo. Hopefully, many kids will decide to become scientists and protect animals.

1. Identify the topic sentences.

2. Reread the paragraphs and ask yourself, “Do I need to explain my evidence?”

3. Add sentences which show how your evidence proves the topic sentence.

Let’sCore Lesson

In this lesson you learned how to conclude your persuasive opinion essay by summarizing your key points and telling your reader to take action.

Let’s ReviewGuided Practice

1. Choose a piece of persuasive writing from your notebook or writing folder.

2. Add a “plea”, or ask the reader to do something. (Try beginning with “please”.)

3. Restate your thesis at the end of your essay.

You try it!

Let’s ReviewExtension Activities

Practice working with a partner to review each other’s writing:• How do you feel after reading your

partner’s essay?• Does your partner’s essay make a

“plea”?

Let’s ReviewQuick Quiz

Write a conclusion to go with the following thesis statements.

1. Dolphins do not belong in aquariums because they need open water to swim.

2. Soda is unhealthy for kids and should be banned from all schools.