Helping Children Cope: Strengthening Social

Emotional CompetenceLise Fox

Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Intervention

Florida Center for Inclusive Communities

Why Social Emotional Competence Skills for Coping Strategies for Families, Strategies for

Children

Agenda

How does this make you feel?

How about the children?

What makes life easier?

What about the Children?

First, Then Choices Visuals Clear Expectations

Getting Your Child to Cooperate

Everyone has an invisible bucket. We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing –and at our worst when they are empty.

Whenever we choose to fill others’ buckets, we in turn fill our own.

Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each interaction, we can use our dipper either to fill or to dip from others’ buckets.

How Full is Your Bucket

Magic Ratio5 positive interactions for

every 1 negative*

*but ratios greater than 13 to 1 are harmful

Fill a Bucket: A Guide to Daily Happiness for the Young Child by

Kathy Martin

Emotional Expression Problem Solving Coping Strategies

Pain Disappointment Loss

Self-advocacy

Skills of Resilience Every Child Needs

13

Talk about your feelings. Say to your child, “Tell me how that makes you feel.” Teach new emotion words (e.g., frustrated, confused,

anxious, excited, worried, disappointed). Talk about how characters in a book, video or on a TV

show may feel. Reflect on specific situations and discuss feelings. Accept and support your child’s expression of feelings. Use books and art activities to talk about emotions. Talk aloud about your own feeling in a variety of situations. Describe how your child’s face looks or pictures of people

in magazines and books. Pretend play with toy figurines, stuffed animals, or puppets

and have them use “feeling words.”

Building Your Child’s Ability to Express Emotions

Turtle Technique

Model remaining calm Teach how to control feelings and calm down

Step 1: recognize your feelings Step 2: Think “stop” Step 3: go inside your shell and take three deep

breaths Step 4: come out when calm and think of a good

solution Practice steps frequently Prepare for and help child handle possible

disappointment and/or change Recognize and comment when the child stays calm

Turtle Technique

RecognizRecognize e

that you that you

feel feel angry.angry.

““ThinkThink” ”

Stop.Stop.

Go into Go into shell. shell. Take 3 Take 3 deep deep breaths. breaths. And think And think calm, calm, coping coping thoughts.thoughts.

Come out Come out of shell of shell

when when calm and calm and thinking thinking

of a of a solution.solution.

When Tucker Turtle Gets Scared…He

Knows How to Be Brave

A scripted story to assist with teaching the “Turtle Technique”

when children feel anxious or scared about medical needs.

By Rochelle Lentini and a very brave Juvenile Arthritis Warrior named Parker Lentini

Copyright © 2010

Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and from information from the Center for the Social Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) and from the Technical Assistance Center on Social Emotional Interventions for Young Children(TACSEI).

Personal use or free distribution: No permission is needed to download and/or photo copy this story, as long as the copies are distributed at no cost and a credit to the authors is evident on each copy.

Would it be safe?Would it be fair?How would everyone feel?

Problem Solving Steps

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Step 2

Help the Child Think of a Possible Solution:

•Get a grown-up•Ask nicely•Ignore•Play•Say, “Please stop.”•Say, “Please.”•Share•Trade toys/item•Wait and take turns

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Self Advocacy

Ask for information Prepare questions Structure opportunities Debrief with your child

Be a Part of the Discussion Acknowledge child’s presence Use child’s name Invite into conversation when appropriate

Understand Options and Make Meaningful Choices Identify options Make the pro and con list

Challenge Injustice

Self-Advocacy

Supporting the GLADD

Give Information Prepare your child to provide information and answer questions

Listen Help your child develop system to remember and record

information Ask

Support your child in asking the questions Decide

Create the opportunity for your child to have an active role Do

Create a “Do” plan Design checklists or help your child create a list

Articles for families and visualshttp://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/family.html Making life easier series for parents of young childrenwww.challengingbehavior.org/communities/families.html GLADD videos and supports for youthhttp://hctransitions.ichp.ufl.edu/gladd/ Visuals for feelings, emotional regulation, problem

solvinghttp://depts.washington.edu/hscenter/teacher-

tools#visual

Web Sites