Habit4Think Win-Win

Kanyaporn, Kakarna, Laksamon, Veeravit, Bhuni

Think Win-win

• This is the habit of creating effective interpersonal leadership. In order to manage our relationships with others properly we need to think “Win/Win”. This isn’t just a technique that you can apply to every day situations and relationships, it’s a philosophy – a whole way of thinking and being.

Think Win-Win

This philosophy is based on 6 paradigms of interaction. Basically, every time we interact with others it fits into one of these categories:

• Win/Win

• Win/Lose

• Lose/Win

• Lose/Lose

• Win

• Win/Win or No Deal

• Win/Win – Mutually beneficial and co-operative. All parties come out on top

• Win/Lose – “If I win, you lose.” This is very authoritarian in style and can be seen as overalycompetitive. It’ a win at all costs mentality which is usually instilled from childhood.

• Lose/Win – “If I lose, you win.” This is usually the attitude of people who want to keep the peace and not upset the applecart. The problem with Lose/Win is that whilst you may feel happy your friend/colleague etc. has come out on top, this can however lead to an eventual breakdown in relationships as resentment builds up.

• Lose/Lose – This happens when two Win/Lose people clash, it leads to a stubborn impasse as they try to beat each other at all costs.

• Win – Don’t really want anyone to lose they just want everyone to come out on top. It’s an “every man for himself” mentality.

• Win/WIn or No Deal – This is where, if a mutally beneficial outcome cannot be reached, then you know it’s okay to walk away with no hard feelings.

Win-Win Situation• You get sponsored by a company and

provide them with free marketing in exchange for one or some of their products.You connect the right real estate agent with a buyer you know personally, and collect a referralYou are a head hunter that knows all the right people, and the businesses that need them.

How to think Win-Win

• In the win-win situation might be so hard for us to think and solve it.

• So how do you do it? How can you be happy for your friend when he just got accepted at college and you didn’t? How can you avoid feeling inferior to the girl next door who has all those gorgeous clothes? How can you find solutions to problems so that both of you can win? Might I suggest two clues: Win the private victory first and avoid the tumor twins.

WIN THE PRIVATE VICTORY FIRST

• It all begins with you. If you are extremely insecure and haven’t paid the price to win the private victory, it will be difficult to think Win-Win. You’ll be threatened by other people. It’ll be hard to be happy for their successes. It will be difficult to share recognition or praise

AVOID THE TUMOR TWINS

• There are two habits that, like tumors, can slowly eat you away from the inside. They are twins and their names are competing and comparing. It’s virtually impossible to think Win-Win with them around.

Win-Lose Situation

• a hunter kills a wolf and it's a win for the hunter but a loss for the wolf's pack. Another example is that if an argument is settled unfairly is in one side's favor only, for instance a border dispute between two countries. There are other types of situations like win-lose situations.

Lose-Win Situation

• you may give in to peer pressure, allow others to take advantage of you, or listen to others gossip about a friend. Facing challenges in this way leaves you feeling bad and it is not healthy. Of course there are times when it is okay to give in. When an issue is not important to you and no one is going to be hurt by the decision it is okay to let another win. Just make sure you take a stand when you feel strongly or the decision is harmful to you or another person.

Lose-Lose

• Fighting is a great example of a lose–lose situation. If you think about it, both people get hurt and usually neither person feels good in the end. The attitude of lose-lose is that if I am going down, I am going to bring you with me. This does not help anyone involved and often makes problems worse.

What’s the best option?

The best option really depends on what situation you are in at the time, what you want to achieve, and what the other person wants to achieve.

• If you value a relationship, you may option for Lose/Win in order to keep the peace. If you want to increase competition you may go for a Win/Lose strategy.

What have I learned from this habit?

• I’ve learned that it’s not what I want from a situation, it’s more about what others want. We can never reach a mutually acceptable solution if we don’t know what each other wants to get out of it. -Kanyaporn

• I have learned that it’s okay to walk away from a situation – assuming that the other party is okay with this – you don’t lose face and it enables you to revisit the situaiton further down the road with no animosity. – Kakarna

• I can balance myself myself that each situation what I should do and should not do. This lesson taught me in many ways such as always care for other but don’t forget to care for yourself too. - Laksamon

• After I read this lesson I felt that we have to be friend with each other. I think the best solution is Win-Win because both got benefits. I also learned not to be “lose-lose” because we both not get the benefits also hate each other. –Veeravit

• After I read this lesson I felt like I am a new person because I think that I can control myself more. I will try to be a “Win-Win” person. -Bhumi

What am I going to do about it?

• I need to ask myself and others what they want from a situation – and of course, being the proactive person and now I am, I can do that!