Guiding Your Strong Willed Child

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Week Four

Community Blame the Man

Family Invest with Yes

Science What’s Your Function?

Framework Case of the Missing Sock

At-Home Micro Choices

Negotiation www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFYsJYPye94

Community

Negotiables – a review

•  A negotiation – Begins with your invitation (a question)

– Never follows whining or challenging behavior

– Ends immediately if challenging behavior occurs

Community

Blame the Man aka “It ’s What the Sign Says”

•  Concrete alternative to repeat negotiation

• Once posted, it can not be changed until your scheduled review

Photo via Exploreminnesota.com

Community

Blame the Man

•  Stay on their side - Allows you to commiserate while still being consistent

Photo via honda.com, pinterest.com, today.com, playpartypin.com

Community

Questions for the Table – 10 Minutes Community

1.  What did you discover this week about the frequency of your negotiations? Ideally would you like more, less or about the same number?

2.  Who is initiating the negotiation most often?

3.  Did you discover any pattern to the type of negotiations you are engaging in?

4.  What happens currently if the negotiation turns south (screaming, yelling…)?

End

Large Group Q & A Community

• Questions?

• Reflections?

Week Four

Community Blame the Man

Family Invest with Yes

Science What’s Your Function?

Framework Case of the Missing Sock

At-Home Micro Choices

Who Had a HAT Meeting this Week?

How Are Things

Happy Adult Time

Family

Invest with Yes!

Freedom within CLEAR Limits

Yes

Vs. The Extremes

Family

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Family

Photo via gameofthrones.wikia.com

Boundaries are hard to hold, Don’t spread yourself too thin!

Invest Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAKnU95NTzI Family

Home Climate Analysis Family

•  Is it possible that we have too many rules? – Can I ever do anything right?

•  Is it possible that our expectation are too high? – Am I free to be a kid at home?

•  Is it possible that our expectations are unclear? – What does my parent want me to do?

•  What prevents us from holding firm to our boundaries? – Will I get my way today?

End

The Four Cs Family

Choices BEFORE

Changes LATER

Consistency DURING

And, Corrections are expensive - spend them wisely!

HAT Meeting Four Assignment Family

•  Schedule 30 minutes of protected, kid-free time for each week of our workshop on your CALENDAR

Goal for Meeting Four

Make a list of all the (written or unwritten) rules you have this week & see if they align with your values

Continue to define your values!

Week Four

Community Blame the Man

Family Invest with Yes

Science What’s Your Function?

Framework Case of the Missing Sock

At-Home Micro Choices

Nuts & Bolts of Behavior

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Original Behavior

Replacement Behavior

Consequence

Science

Today’s Gift from Science

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Behavior

Consequence

Science

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit

her brother

•  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

•  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

•  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

•  giving your child a big hug after she falls down

Science

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother

•  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

•  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

•  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

•  giving your child a big hug after she falls down

ALL ARE CONSEQUENCES. A consequence is simply what happens as a result of a behavior, it could be reinforcing or

punishing or have no effect.

Science

Not-A-Test

•  Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: a)  Your child completes a chore & receives a sticker on

her daily chore chart

b)  Your child is being too loud at a restaurant so you say, “If you don’t quiet down, I will take away your ipad” and he quiets down

c)  Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please” so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result.

Science

Not-A-Test

•  Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: (c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please”

so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result.

This is the only example in which we know that the probability of behavior increased in the future as a

result of the consequence!

Science

Not-A-Test

•  All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

Science

Not-A-Test

•  All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

FUNCTION!

Answer: And the key to changing a behavior is to understand its function.

Science

Behavior Serves a Function

•  A behavior continues to occur because it worked

•  “Worked” does not imply that a person can name or identify the function of their own behavior

– Observation is the only real way to understand what consequence is maintaining a behavior

•  If you want to change a behavior, a person needs another way to get from A to C…a new B! – This is where the magic lives! More on this to come…

Science

Determining the Function of Behavior Science

• We must understand the FUNCTION of a behavior if we are going to be able to use “natural” positive reinforcement to our advantage

•  How do we assess the function? We watch to see what consequence follows the behavior currently

Determining the Function of Behavior Science

I Eat Chocolate Ice Cream Before Bed…

• What should I eat instead?

•  Carrots & Celery… – (lasts 1 night, maybe)

•  Chocolate Snack – (better chance)

Science

Week Four

Community Blame the Man

Family Invest with Yes

Science What’s Your Function?

Framework Case of the Missing Sock

At-Home Micro Choices

Case of the Missing Sock •  Remember Little Sally? – Sally is physically able to put on her socks & boots

– Family is preparing to leave for school, Mom asks Sally to put on her socks & boots so that they can be ready to go but… • Almost everyday, Sally can be spotted wandering around

holding her socks while Mom puts a jacket on a younger sibling and then Mom catches Sally and has to ask her to put on her socks & boots again. Unless she is next to her, it never gets done. Most mornings, Mom ends up helping Sally put them on.

Framework

Function Detective •  Current maintaining consequence is that most

mornings, Mom ends up helping Sally put socks & boots on – Might be attention (access to time with Mom)

– Might be avoidance (avoids effort of having to put on socks & boots)

– Might be avoidance (delays going into car and then to school)

Framework

Function-Based Reinforcement •  New behavior must result in current maintaining

consequence…

– Might be attention (access to time with Mom) • Mom only mimes until boots & socks are on

– Might be avoidance (avoids effort of having to put on socks & boots) • Mom puts on socks & boots immediately after saying, “Let’s

put on your boots” after using graduated guidance

– Might be avoidance (delays boring car ride) •  Favorite toys are in special car box waiting for child after

socks & boots are on

Framework

Week Four

Community Blame the Man

Family Invest with Yes

Science What’s Your Function?

Framework Case of the Missing Sock

At-Home Micro Choices

Choices are Good!

“Providing choice opportunities resulted in clinically significant reductions in the number of occurrences

of problem behavior.” •  The Effect of Choice-Making as an Intervention for Problem Behavior: a Meta-Analysis

(Shogren et al., Journal of Positive Behavior Interventions, 2004).

At-Home

Ways to Offer Choices

Open Ended Questions

Structured Choices

Micro Choices

You or Me Choices

At-Home

Micro Choices Overview

•  Tiny, EASY little choices that don’t affect the outcome but still share control!

•  For now, stick with outcomes that you already know the child will not resist – icing on the cake! – Speed: Walk home fast or slow? (still walking home)

– Style: Green jacket or red jacket? (still wearing jacket)

– Size: Bath half full or all the way full (still having a bath)

– Shape: Orange peeled or unpeeled? (still eating an orange)

At-Home

More Examples of Micro Choices

•  Examples – Do you want to sit in the red chair or blue chair?

– Do you want a full or half glass of milk?

– Should I read underwater-style or rodeo-style?

– Do you want to use green or blue paint?

•  Non-examples – What do you want for dinner? (open ended)

– Do you want to do your homework now or later? (structured)

– Are you going to put your boots on now or do I need to help you do it? (your or me)

At-Home

At-Home

Making this Work at Home

•  Guided Practice Every Workshop Week – HAT meeting • This week: Determine if your rules align with your values?

– Daily Five • This week: Add Micro Choices into your Daily Five!

– 30-Second Video • This week: Email me a Micro Choices video!

At-Home

Questions, Comments?

Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com

Email me at biehuschicago@gmail.com

At-Home