Guiding Your Strong Willed Child

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Were you able to…

•  Map Your Weekly Schedule as a Family? – Fixed Time Events, Consistent Routines, *Special Events*

•  Make Time to Take Time? – Daily Five: 5 min of parent + child time, use a timer

– Weekly HAT Meeting: 30 min of child-free conversation

Review

Not-A-Test

•  Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book:

•  The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori

•  Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay

•  The Attachment Parenting Book by William & Martha Sears

•  French Kids Eat Everything by Karen LeBillion

• On Behavior by BF Skinner

• None of the above

Review

Not-A-Test

•  Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book:

•  •  •  •  •  • None of the above

Parenting is personal! The plan you make at your HAT is the best way for YOU to parent. Harnessing the science of learning can make parenting easier.

Review

Not-A-Test

•  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum.

Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry

Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well

Longer than a minute Happy Throws object

Review

Not-A-Test

•  Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum.

Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry

Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well

Longer than a minute Happy Throws object

•  Answer? All but those in black – those all are presumptions we make based on our observations, but are not objective descriptions of behavior

Review

Week 2. The Basics

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Week Two

Community Name the Good

Content The ABCs

Collaboration Yes, No, Negotiable

Extension Sure Y! First X, Then Y

Why Bother to Name the Good? Community

KEY: Turn the principal office upside down!

Attention for good, boring if bad, create a

new way

Why Bother to Name the Good?

“Research has shown that the most effective way to reduce problem behavior in children is to

strengthen desirable behavior through positive reinforcement rather than trying to weaken

undesirable behavior using aversive or negative processes.”

•  Sidney W. Bijou, Ph.D.

Community

Self-Evaluation: Name the Good

1.  Were you able to set aside 5 min to “play” most days? How did you make it work as part of your routine?

2.  Did you avoid making demands, corrections or asking questions? What was most difficult to avoid?

3.  Did you decide to SPECIFICALLY describe &/or link behavior to its NATURAL positive consequence?

4.  Did you Name the Good by highlighting ONLY those

things you would like to see your child do more of?

Community

Whole Group Reflection

• What worked?

•  Could you continue to take this time daily?

• What obstacles did you face?

•  Looking for ideas…

Community

Reflect Highlight

Natural Perks Imitate

Specifically Describe

C: “I am building a tower.”

P: “That is a tall tower!”

C: (Shares toy) P: “You set the

table, now we can eat our snack!”

C: (Dancing) P: (Dance!)

C: (Racing cars) P: You are racing

cars!

Week Two

Community Name the Good

Content The ABCs

Collaboration Yes, No, Negotiable

Extension Sure Y! First X, Then Y

Nuts & Bolts of Behavior

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Original Behavior

Replacement Behavior

Consequence

Content

Today’s Gift from Science

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Behavior

Consequence

Content

Antecedents – What Comes Before!

•  It is loud ! child covers his ears… – Why did he cover his ears?

•  Friend nabs a toy ! child hits her friend… – Why did she hit her friend?

•  No snack in car ! yelling, “snack!” … – Why is child yelling, “snack”?

•  Antecedents may set the stage for learned behavior but they do NOT cause behavior

Content

Harness Antecedents •  If we can control relevant antecedents we can

decrease opportunity for challenging behavior

– Bjorn can’t jump on chair to see out window to see passing dogs

– Bjorn can’t reach plant to dig in plant to eat dirt

Content

Unset the Stage, if possible •  Use what you have learned from history to prevent

challenging behavior by unsetting the stage

Content

Antecedents Don’t “Cause” Bx •  Be warned, if we don’t address the function of the

behavior, trouble (aka Bjorn) might still get by…

Content

Antecedent Interventions •  Up too early? Can’t read time? – Visual alarm clock such as

Ok to Wake! Alarm Clock

Photo via amazon.com

Content

Antecedent Interventions •  Argues over who puts her to bed at night? – Post a Bedtime Schedule (& blame “The Man!”)

Content

Antecedent Interventions •  Usually fights w/ sibling during dinner prep? – Dinner Bin Time (keep it out of reach during other times!)

Photo via happyhooligans.ca

Content

Antecedent Interventions •  Picking out outfit difficult? – Mini Dressing Rack

Photos via etsy.com, designdazzle.com, & onestepahead.com

Content

Not-A-Test

•  An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as:

•  what happens after a behavior occurs

•  what happens before a behavior occurs

•  what causes a behavior to occur

•  how a child feels before she engages in a behavior

Content

Not-A-Test

•  An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as:

•  •  what happens before a behavior occurs

•  • 

Answer: An antecedent comes before a behavior but does not cause operant behavior contrary to popular opinion

Content

Consequences – What Comes After!

•  It is loud ! child covers his ears… – COVERING EARS MAKES IT QUIETER

•  Friend nabs a toy ! child hits her friend… – FRIEND GIVES TOY BACK

•  No snack in car ! yelling, “snack!” … – DRIVER GIVES SNACK

•  Consequences are what occur after a behavior occurs & may have increasing, decreasing or no effect on behavior

Content

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit

her brother

•  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

•  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

•  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

•  giving your child a big hug after she falls down

Content

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. •  politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother

•  passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

•  talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

•  giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

•  giving your child a big hug after she falls down

ALL ARE CONSEQUENCES. A consequence is simply what happens as a result of a behavior, it could be reinforcing or

punishing or have no effect.

Content

Behavior Serves a Function

•  A behavior continues to occur because it worked

•  “Worked” does not imply that a person can name or identify the function of their own behavior

– Observation is the only real way to understand what consequence is maintaining a behavior

•  If you want to change a behavior, a person needs another way to get from A to C…a new B! – This is where the magic lives! More on this to come…

Content

Not-A-Test

•  All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

Content

Not-A-Test

•  All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

FUNCTION!

Answer: And the key to changing a behavior is to understand its function.

Content

Week Two

Community Name the Good

Content The ABCs

Collaboration Yes, No, Negotiable

Extension Sure Y! First X, Then Y

Your Turn: Yes, No, Negotiable Collaboration

•  Each family ’s values and lifestyle will dictate their unique Yes, No, Negotiable profile

•  Tonight you will brainstorm those things to which you can say YES

•  YES means you say, “Yes” or permit whenever possible

•  YES is largest category!

No

Negotiable

Yes

Week Two

Community Name the Good

Content The ABCs

Collaboration Yes, No, Negotiable

Extension Sure Y! First X, Then Y

Sure Y! First X, Then Y!

•  Principle 1: Say YES the first time

•  Principle 2: Order matters… Fun Always Follows

•  Principle 3: High probability behavior (things people choose to do more often) can be used to increase low probability behavior (things people choose to do less often)

•  Principle 4: Less probable behavior becomes stronger when arranged this way over time!

Extension

Premack’s Principle

Tips for Introduction Extension

•  GOAL: Use behaviors that are strong to strengthen behaviors that are weak

•  Introduce when things are already going well

•  Maintain a playful attitude

•  Your X request should be short & simple

•  If child refuses to do X, don’t make a big deal about it but NO Y until X is done

Offer What Child Asks For

•  Use what child really likes to do (draw with tub crayons) to reinforce what child is less excited about (have hair rinsed) – C: Can I please use the tub crayons?

– P: Sure! First rinse your hair, then play with tub crayons!

Extension

Offer What Child is Already Doing

•  Use what child really likes to do (wrestling) to reinforce what child is less excited about (put folder in backpack ) – C: [Wrestling with brother]

– P: Would you like to wrestle with your brother?

– C: Yes!

– P: [Parent prepares to separate wrestl-ee because demands have to be enforceable!]

– P: Okay, first your folder in your backpack, then 2 minutes of wrestling!

Extension

Offer a Simple Choice

•  Use what child really likes to do (read a book together) to reinforce what child is less excited about (put dirty clothes in bin) – P: Shall we read Goodnight Moon or Owl Babies?

– C: Goodnight Moon!

– P: [parent gets close to child to help them transition to pjs]

– P: Okay, first put dirty clothes in laundry bin, then we will read Goodnight Moon!

Extension

At-Home Extension

•  Self evaluation – Were you able to catch an opportunity daily?

– Did you start by saying “Sure!”?

– Did you keep your X request small & simple?

– Did you ensure that Y happened as soon as X was completed? (& that Y didn’t happen until X was completed?)

•  Email me 30-sec video by Sunday night – Capture a “Sure Y! First X, then Y” •  invite child to role play if it is too difficult to catch it live

Extension

Questions, Comments?

•  Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com

•  Email me at biehuschicago@gmail.com

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