Group 12 FRENCH BULLDOGSYVONNE BLACKWELL

BLACKWELLY1@MAIL.MONTCLAIR.EDUJOSEPH BATTIATO

BATTIATOJ1@MAIL.MONTCLAIR.EDUSUSAN BONGIORNO

BONGIORNOS1@MAIL.MONTCLAIR.EDU

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You

Introduction & Book Thesis Description

Summary Leil Lowndes

Understand interpersonal attraction – and how it works.

Gather information about your Potential Love Partner (PLP)

Use Subliminal and conscious techniques to get your PLP to believe that you meet his/her needs.

Introduction & Book Thesis Description

Summary (cont’d) • Leil Lowndes explains how to do this through Elements and

Techniques

6 Elements That Makes People Fall in Love

First Impressions Similar Character, Complementary Needs Equity Ego Early-Date Gender Menders Rx for Sex

Introduction & Book Thesis Description

Summary (cont’d)

85 techniques (The six elements are broken down further into

these techniques)

Some Effective Techniques:

• Eye Contact ( Power of it, 45 second rule)• First Impressions (They do matter)• Body Posture (Inviting/uninviting)• Understand Gender Difference (We are different)• Equitable Assets and Values (We do look for people like

ourselves)

Introduction & Book Thesis Description

You can make anyone fall in love with you if you the follow the elements and techniques stated in the book.

• In 2009, 43% of people over 18 were single (never married, divorced, widowed) (U.S. Census-America’s Families and Living Arrangement: 2009)

• Goggled “On-line dating sites” – 46, 100, 000 hits

Thesis

Data

Author used a combination of cited scholarly sources, scientific research. Credible Examples: (example)

• Journal of Sex and Martial Therapy• American Sociological Review• Journal of Social Psychology• Journal of Research in Personality• American Scientist• The Triangle of Love (Sternberg)

Author conducted field studies while Director of a research group, “The Project” for 10 years, interviewing individuals and compiling data.. Also while presenting at colleges, universities, and corporations (government and public)across the country collected data and feedback from individuals. Even though this is a broad National sample, the data was not collected in an organized fashion, and their were so set controls.

Author also referenced numerous un-cited references to research and studies so unable to qualitatively substantiate the research.

Data

18 yrs.+

Results

● Data found supports most of the research referenced in the book. This would then indicate that if the steps are followed you can make anyone fall in love with you.

We found the book helpful because :• Author uses research (psychological and scientific)to support her theories• Book format is broken into Elements and Techniques, which makes it easy to

follow • Explains the research so you understand why you need to use the elements

or techniques, and why they work• Author uses the terms “Hunter” and “Huntress”, so it can be used by both

men and women • Reader learns a lot of information about the other sex through the research,

in regard to their wants and needs

Results

Leil Lowndes does not appear to have any professional degree or having published in

any scholarly publications. Her background has been documented as: o Cruise ship directoro Actresso Former producer of radio talk showo Communications Expert (as she documented in her biography)o Founder of “The Project”- A research and counseling group, which also was

a theater group that acted out soft core fantasies with audience participation. Focused on relationships.

o Extensive Training in Psychology (no degree reference) (again documented in her biography)

o President of Applause, Ltd. o Best selling author-10 Books (www.lowndes.com) (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,918750,00.html

Based on this Leil Lowndes does not have the professional background to write a self-help book.

Discussion & Conclusion

Data Found Eye Contact – Lowndes indicates that “…eye contact

immediately stimulates strong feelings of affection” (Lowndes, 1996) She also instructs you to observe, see if your PLP returns your initial eye contact within 45 seconds. If so then their interested and move forward.

- Making eye contact and holding someone’s gaze indicates interest. Do not hold too much more than a second. If he/she returns your gaze again indicates their interest (Fox, 2011)

First Impressions – Leil Lowndes states that you need to be ready for love at all times. First impressions are important, and you don’t get a second chance

- Research indicates that impressions are made under 1/10 of a second regarding attractiveness, and trustworthiness. (Willis & Todorov, 2006)

-”First impressions do effect people’s opinions and decisions about one another” (Gonzales, 2000)

Discussion & Conclusion

Data Found (cont’d) Body Posture - Leil Lowndes’ references Dr. Perper’s research indicating 5 steps

to positive moves to attract someone : Non-Verbal Signal, Talk, Turning, Touching, Synchronization. She also refers to her acronym in Technique #9, SOFTEN (Smile, Open body, Forward lean,Touch, Eye contact, Nod)

-”Body language can signal invitation, acceptance or refusal without being too obvious” (Fox, 2011)

-”Non-verbal leakage”, body posture (turned towards you, leaning forward, echoing PLP’s postures, touch) can have positive effects (Fox, 2011)

Understand Gender Differences – Lowndes stresses gender differences in communication, listening and expressing of emotions

- “Women have expressed a greater preference than men for such personality

characteristics as expressiveness, kindness, and considerateness (Sprecher,

1994) - Men talk more than women in social and professional situations (Carli, 2006) - Women are more open and disclose more personal information than men do. (Carli, 2006)

Discussion & Conclusion

Data Found (cont’d) Equitable assets and values – Lowndes states that researchers find

couples happiest when they are more or less equal in “information or knowledge”. She also states that “balanced benefits make happy campers…….People are happier when their assets equal out.”

- According to Census information collected in 1998 the marriage rate was much higher when husband and wife had an equitable education. (U.S.Census, Educational Attainment, 1998)

- In 2007 more than half of the marriages of 30-44 yr. olds had an equitable education. Though there has been an increase by 40% of the wife having a higher education than the husband in 2007, going from 20% to 28% since 1970. (Fry, 2010)

CONCLUSION- Based on the information in the book and the research that we found, we believe that this book can increase your possibility of finding “someone” not necessarily “anyone” to fall in love with you. In reality she does not back up statistically with data that someone who reads the book gets “anyone” to fall in love with them.

Discussion & Conclusion

Future Book Ideas:• Bring the book more up to date with the use of more

current terminology, and technology used by people• Include research and data with regard to dating on-line

and social networking sites• Publish a book for the younger crowd (under 35) and

one for the older (over 35)• Use newer research, if any, in regard to gender

differences • More current research with the young adults about their

wants and needs • The problem will always be there, everyone wants to be

loved, even though it may not lead to marriage. Research indicates that the marriage trend in the United States has continued to decline from 2000-2009 (CDC, 2009).

Works Cited

Carli, L. L. (2006). Gender Issues in Workplace Groups: Effects of Gender and Communication Style on Social Influence. In M. D. Mary Barrett, Business and Economics (p. 294). United Kingdom: Ashgate .

Fox, K. (2011, March 2). SIRC Guide to Flirting. Retrieved April 4, 2011, from Social Issues Research Centre: http://www.sirc.org

Fry, D. C. (2010, January 19). Pew Social & Demographic Trends. Retrieved April 14, 2011, from Pew Research Center: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org

Gonzales, C. L. (2000, December 4). First Impressions: The Affects of Physical Attractiveness and Personality on Relationships. Retrieved April 4, 2011, from Clearing House: http://www.clearinghouse.missouriwestern.edu

Lowndes, L. (1996). How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You. Yew York: Mcgraw-Hill. National Vital Statistics System. (2009). Retrieved April 2011, from CDC-Center for Disease

Control and Prevention: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/marriage_divorce_tables.htm Sprecher, S., Sullivan, Q., Hatfield, E. (1994). Mate Selection Preferences: Gender

Difference Examined in a National Sample. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 6.

U.S. Census Bureau -America's Families and Living Arrangements: 2009. (n.d.). Retrieved April 2011, from U.S. Census Bureau: www.census.gov/population/www/socdem/hh-fam/cps2009.html

U.S. Census Bureau -Educational Attainment. (1998). Retrieved April 2011, from U.S.Census Bureau: http://www.census.gov/prod/3/98pubs/p20-513u.pdf

Willis, J., Todorov, A. (2006, July 24). How Many Seconds to a First Impression. Psychological Science , 17(3), 592-598.

 

Questions

According to the Center for Disease Control what was the trend with regard to marriage in the United States during the 1990's ? A. It went up B. It went down C. It stayed the same D. Data was unable to be collected

According to the US Census, how many marriages were there in 1998 with both a husband and wife with a high school degree? A. 10,353 B. 1,799 C. 293 D. 1,022

How many elements does Lowndes introduce that will make people fall in love? A. 8 B. 4 C. 6 D. 5