Grieving…..Grieving…..after the loss of a pet is normal and after the loss of a pet is normal and

healthy. It can last from 4 weeks to over healthy. It can last from 4 weeks to over a year. 15% of owners say they will a year. 15% of owners say they will

never own another pet as they cannot never own another pet as they cannot bear to go through the loss againbear to go through the loss again

The grief sequenceThe grief sequence

• ShockShock• Anger and guiltAnger and guilt• BargainingBargaining• DepressionDepression• AcceptanceAcceptance

ShockShock

• Often a refusal to accept that Often a refusal to accept that euthanasia is the only optioneuthanasia is the only option

• Often follows trauma in a young Often follows trauma in a young animal or owner underestimating the animal or owner underestimating the seriousness of the diseaseseriousness of the disease

• Owners often request a second opinionOwners often request a second opinion• Owners are confused and have Owners are confused and have

difficulty grasping informationdifficulty grasping information• Brief phase, lasts hoursBrief phase, lasts hours

How to handle shocked How to handle shocked ownersowners

• Give slow, simple explanationsGive slow, simple explanations• Record decisions in writingRecord decisions in writing• Sympathize, do not contradictSympathize, do not contradict• Provide a second opinion from Provide a second opinion from

within the practicewithin the practice• It can be helpful to attempt It can be helpful to attempt

resuscitation even if it appears resuscitation even if it appears hopelesshopeless

Anger and guiltAnger and guilt

• Frequently directed at the practiceFrequently directed at the practice• Can often lead to complaints and Can often lead to complaints and

litigationlitigation• Clients often feel guilty about seeking Clients often feel guilty about seeking

advice too late, not being able to advice too late, not being able to afford treatment or having caused the afford treatment or having caused the injury themselvesinjury themselves

• Sometimes owners want to blame Sometimes owners want to blame someone for their animal’s bad lucksomeone for their animal’s bad luck

Dealing with angry Dealing with angry ownersowners

• Stay calm and polite and do not Stay calm and polite and do not become defensivebecome defensive

• Try and explain to them that what has Try and explain to them that what has happened is normal procedurehappened is normal procedure

• Get a senior person who is familiar Get a senior person who is familiar with the case to speak to themwith the case to speak to them

• Avoid statements that make admissions Avoid statements that make admissions of errorof error

• Express sincere sympathyExpress sincere sympathy

Dealing with owners who Dealing with owners who feel guiltyfeel guilty

• Try not to make them feel any worseTry not to make them feel any worse• Reassure them that it is not their Reassure them that it is not their

faultfault• SympathiseSympathise

BargainingBargaining

• Often not an obvious phaseOften not an obvious phase• Sometimes expressed by bringing gifts to Sometimes expressed by bringing gifts to

staff to influence their advicestaff to influence their advice• Sometimes ask for special access to their Sometimes ask for special access to their

petpet• The nurse’s primary responsibility is to The nurse’s primary responsibility is to

the welfare of the animal. Support the the welfare of the animal. Support the vets decisions and do not suggest vets decisions and do not suggest treatments that may have little chance of treatments that may have little chance of successsuccess

DepressionDepression

• In some cases natural sadness In some cases natural sadness becomes clinical depressionbecomes clinical depression

• Depressed people can become Depressed people can become physically illphysically ill

• Many are confused about the Many are confused about the circumstances surrounding the death circumstances surrounding the death of their petof their pet

• Some owners break down in tears for Some owners break down in tears for no particular reasonno particular reason

Dealing with depressed Dealing with depressed clientsclients

• In extreme cases, lasting three weeks or In extreme cases, lasting three weeks or more, and where there may be a risk of more, and where there may be a risk of self harm, the vet should make contact self harm, the vet should make contact with the client’s GPwith the client’s GP

• Sometimes the client just needs to talkSometimes the client just needs to talk• Take care that the client doesn’t become Take care that the client doesn’t become

emotionally dependent on the practiceemotionally dependent on the practice• The grieving process may be helpd by The grieving process may be helpd by

encouraging the client to make a encouraging the client to make a memorial gesturememorial gesture

AcceptanceAcceptance

• This is the recovery phaseThis is the recovery phase• The client can talk about their pet The client can talk about their pet

rationally and without excess emotionrationally and without excess emotion• This is the time when suggesting a This is the time when suggesting a

new pet is sensiblenew pet is sensible• No action may be requiredNo action may be required• The client can focus on happy The client can focus on happy

memoriesmemories

Asssessing the client’s Asssessing the client’s needsneeds

• Problems arise when people fail to Problems arise when people fail to progress through to acceptance of their progress through to acceptance of their lossloss

• Clients considered likely to have a strong Clients considered likely to have a strong bond with their animal should be bond with their animal should be contacted after a few days to see if they contacted after a few days to see if they want to talkwant to talk

• Reassurance is keyReassurance is key• The grieving process is different for The grieving process is different for

everyoneeveryone

Acts of remembranceActs of remembrance

• Plant a tree or bush in your gardenPlant a tree or bush in your garden• Have a plaque made and place it under Have a plaque made and place it under

a tree your pet liked lying undera tree your pet liked lying under• Laying your pet to rest in a pet Laying your pet to rest in a pet

cemetary, with a short servicecemetary, with a short service• Commission a portrait of your petCommission a portrait of your pet• Make a special photo albumMake a special photo album• Write a poemWrite a poem

Grief within the practiceGrief within the practice

• Common especially when the animal Common especially when the animal has been hospitalised for a long timehas been hospitalised for a long time

• Provide support in particular to Provide support in particular to trainees and less experienced stafftrainees and less experienced staff

• Older staff may appear unaffected Older staff may appear unaffected but do not assume they do not care, but do not assume they do not care, they have likely developed coping they have likely developed coping strategiesstrategies