grandparents parenting again

8/9/2019 Grandparents Parenting Again

1/5

Grandparents Parenting AgainBy Linda Ranson Jacobs

[email protected]

http://blog.dc4k.org

Many grandparents thought they were through parenting only to find themselves having to

parent the second generation in their family.

Not only do adjustments in the home have to take place but adjustments in how they parent

have to happen.

n top of everything else! many of these grandparents are single or they are in secondmarriages and the entrance of grandchildren into the home strains the second"blended family

marriage.

#n many of these households! the grandparents care for children whose parents cannot or will

not care for them due to substance abuse! illness! death! abuse! neglect! economic hardship!imprisonment! divorce! domestic violence! and other family crises.

Loss of a parent to death! divorce and other situations is a life$changing event. %ven though

children may have loving grandparents who will take them into their homes! bombings! war!

destruction! storms like hurricanes and tsunamis! death of a parent and divorce affect childrenfor days! weeks! months and years to come.

Statistics in the US&he 'ids (ount National #ndicators) *amily +tructure,ou can find information Nationally! by state! by some cities! by congressional districtshttp://datacenter.kidscount.org/data#USA//!/4""4$%&'(

*lorida (ongressional -istrict / 0!000 children live with grandparents

'eep in mind these are only the reported numbers. Many families keep this information

within the confines of the family. +ome people estimate the numbers are not almost si1

million children but closer to eight million children being raised by grandparents.

Many grandparents are employed full time.

2alf of the grandchildren being parented by grandparents are under si1 years of age.

)hat are the reasons *or grandparents rescuing grandchildren+

-ivorce3 illness3 death of a parent4s53 substance abuse3 mental health issues3

abandonment3 neglect and or abuse3 economic hardship3 incarceration3 domesticviolence3 natural disasters3 war"military duty3 failure to have the ability or take

responsibility to parent

What are some issues of parenting again?

Many grandparents thought they were through parenting only to find themselves rescuing

their grandchildren and beginning the parenting journey again. This means making a life-

1
mailto:[email protected]://blog.dc4k.org/http://datacenter.kidscount.org/data#USA/2/23/2488,24,2592,26,2721http://datacenter.kidscount.org/data#USA/2/23/2488,24,2592,26,2721mailto:[email protected]://blog.dc4k.org/http://datacenter.kidscount.org/data#USA/2/23/2488,24,2592,26,2721


2/5


3/5

:. (hildren may not feel safe

;. +tressed out children

6randparents cant parent the second generation like they did the first.

6randchildren have more e1posure to the world now than ever before. 2ow are they going to

handle violent games3 #nternet3 violent music! &E and moviesF

&he American 8sychology Association in a report on CEiolence in the Media ? 8sychologist

2elp 8rotect (hildren from 2armful %ffectsD says 4#m paraphrasing the report5

(hildren may become less sensitive to the pain of those around them.

(hildren may become more fearful of their world.

(hildren may act more aggressive or harmful to those around them.

Many grandchildren have emotional and behavioral challenges.

. %motionally overwrought

7. Behavior problems 4A--"A-2-! Autism +pectrum5

9. Attachment issues:. (onstant power struggles

;. &oilet training

>hat about wanting to just be a grandparentF

. &here may be issues with grandma wanting to do and be the fun grandma.

7. ther grandchildren may be jealous ? how do you divide your energyF

Single grandparents / second/blended *a,il ,arriage issues

Many grandparents are single and have no support system in place.

. >hat if they are career drivenF (hanges in career will have to take place.

7. >hat if they are datingF9. >hat about their social life and church responsibilitiesF

#n second marriages where the step grandparent has to assume the role of parent even more

issues will arise. &hey do not have access to the up bringing of the childs parent. &here is not

an understanding of family heritage or history.

-iscipline is relationship specific and step grandparents do not have a relationship.

(onflict between grandparent and spouse are common

. C# didnt marry you to have to take responsibility for your grandchildrenD7. C# raised my kids to be healthy adults. # dont think its fair to raise your kid and their

kids.D

9. Birth parent may be dealing with issues of parental failure. &his may create discord in

the marriage.

)hat -e hae learned about the legac o* children in crisis.

+hort$term1. Intense stress

3


4/5

2. Overwhelming emotions

3. Constant fear about safety

4. Difficulty completing task

5. Academic problems

6. Behavior problems

7. Regression to previous and younger habits8. Feeling of powerlessness

9. Total confusion

Long-term

1. Anxiety and depression

2. Lower psychological well-being

3. Suicide

4. Delinquency in teen years (child of divorce)

5. Promiscuity and unwed teenage pregnancy (child of divorce)

6. Substance reliance and abuse (child of divorce)

7. Poverty (child of divorce)

8. Becoming divorced as adults

9. Pulling away from the Lord in adult years

)hat can ou and our church do+

. 8rovide respite care for grandparent especially if they are single grandparents.

7. (heck out your states service agencies and help families get assistance.

9. #f your church has access to legal aid or legal representatives! enlist their help.:. 8rovide parenting classes on parenting children with challenging behavior and emotional

issues.

;. #ntercede in prayer for the entire family! grandparent! parents and child


5/5

0esources

http://www.aarp.orgAARP website for senor adults. Has grandparent helps.

http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/Has articles on special needs grandchildren as

well as other helpful resources

http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/caring_grandchild/Has articles on child

development so you can understand various developmental levels of children.

http://www.grandparentagain.com/ Has articles; recipes to encourage grandchildren living

with you to eat healthy; offers community support groups; shares stories from different states

about legal issues and grandparents raising grandchildren; offers medical information about

special needs and health issues; grandparents rights

http://www.gu.org/ Generations United, has fact sheets for every state (legal issues,government help, etc.)

http://www.grandparentsparentingagain.org/Has articles on legal issues; offers

workshops and seminars on how to parent grandchildren

http://www.applesaucekids.com/Great website for Grandparents to have to sue with

grandchildren living with them. Has games, crafts, resources, etc.

http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/allowance.html Encourages giving

children allowances.

http://www.abingdonpress.com/product/9781426774300#.VL7JD1od8Rk Attract

Families to Your Church and Keep Them Coming Back, Linda Ranson Jacobs

http)""urbane1t.illinois.edu"grandparents"inde1.cfm

5
http://www.aarp.org/http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/caring_grandchild/http://www.grandparentagain.com/http://www.gu.org/http://www.grandparentsparentingagain.org/http://www.applesaucekids.com/http://www.abingdonpress.com/product/9781426774300#.VL7JD1od8Rkhttp://urbanext.illinois.edu/grandparents/index.cfmhttp://urbanext.illinois.edu/grandparents/index.cfmhttp://www.aarp.org/http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/http://www.aarp.org/families/grandparents/caring_grandchild/http://www.grandparentagain.com/http://www.gu.org/http://www.grandparentsparentingagain.org/http://www.applesaucekids.com/http://www.abingdonpress.com/product/9781426774300#.VL7JD1od8Rkhttp://urbanext.illinois.edu/grandparents/index.cfm

grandparents parenting again

Documents