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Google, Catholic Church wage holy war against Yahoo, Microsoft

by Paul on February 13th, 2007

After finalizing merger negotiations with

management this morning, Pope Benedict XVI donned

a new hat: CRO, or Chief Religious Officer.

Larry Page and Sergei Brin will serve as co-Popes of

the newly formed corporation, Cathoogle. The

legendary browser will soon offer a “salvation search”

feature. Analysts in the realm of corporate religion

approved of the merger. “Google has been having a

tough time sticking with its avowed goal of avoiding

evil. This should put them on the right track,”

explained Merrill Lynch analyst Justin Post. “It’s just

not clear what kind of goodwill number the alliance

with God Almighty will put on the balance sheet.”

Google issued 200 million new shares of stock, and

the merger was effected by a swap of the Google

shares for an undisclosed number of indulgences,

which are essentially non-standard options on a

favorable afterlife. The new management partners

are excited over the coming jihad against the Bill

Gates and Terry Semel duo. “Let the infidels bring all the hosts of Microsoft and Yahoo

against us,” commented the pope. “Let us march on,” Brin added, “For God is our

operating now!”

POSTED IN: News, TNT

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