google's battle pope strikes again

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  • Starked SF, Unforgiving News from the Bay Google, Catholic Church wage holy war against Yahoo, Microsoft by Paul on February 13th, 2007

    After finalizing merger negotiations with

    management this morning, Pope Benedict XVI donned

    a new hat: CRO, or Chief Religious Officer.

    Larry Page and Sergei Brin will serve as co-Popes of

    the newly formed corporation, Cathoogle. The

    legendary browser will soon offer a salvation search

    feature. Analysts in the realm of corporate religion

    approved of the merger. Google has been having a

    tough time sticking with its avowed goal of avoiding

    evil. This should put them on the right track,

    explained Merrill Lynch analyst Justin Post. Its just

    not clear what kind of goodwill number the alliance

    with God Almighty will put on the balance sheet.

    Google issued 200 million new shares of stock, and

    the merger was effected by a swap of the Google

    shares for an undisclosed number of indulgences,

    which are essentially non-standard options on a

    favorable afterlife. The new management partners

    are excited over the coming jihad against the Bill

    Gates and Terry Semel duo. Let the infidels bring all the hosts of Microsoft and Yahoo

    against us, commented the pope. Let us march on, Brin added, For God is our

    operating now!

    POSTED IN: News, TNT

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