girlfriend blueprint 3.0

7/26/2019 Girlfriend Blueprint 3.0

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/girlfriend-blueprint-30 1/20BY CRAIG MILLER

GIRLFRIEND BLUEPRINT 3.0

BY CRAIG MILLER




GIRLFRIEND BLUEPRINT 3.0Welcome to the Girlfriend Blueprint, revision 3. I intend to update this book frequently and you’ll

receive live updates for free.

The book is broken into two different parts…

Part one is about compatibility factors and making sure you have the highest chance of nding that

one girl who’s really great for you, so you can enjoy a long lasting, happy relationship free of problems

and drama.

Part two is about getting a girl from the courting stage into a relationship, so if you’ve got a girl you’re

seeing right now you can follow a simple process to make her your girlfriend.

PART ONE: FIND THAT GIRL

Chemistry is a hard thing to predict, because often, you really don’t know until many months of beingtogether how good it’s going to be. Further, chemistry is not static, its always changing and it could be

great one month and not so great the next.

So I’ve chosen to rely on proven factors, determined through research, of what the “long lasting”

couples have in common and giving you practical, discreet tools to see if those factors exist between

you and the girl you’re interested in. I put “long lasting” in quotes, because really, you could have lots of

different criteria for what makes a relationship great and that’s going to change from guy to guy.

Here are the key categories determined to inuence longer lasting relationships…

• Personality factors

• Physical factors (your looks, etc)

• Static Attributes (your family background, nurturing, etc)

• Changeable Attributes (your income, etc)

We’re only going to be focusing on the rst two, because that’s what you have control over. By building

on existing research from a variety of sources, these two categories breakdown into the following

factors…

1. Trust

2. Intimacy

3. Positivity / optimism

4. Financial values

5. Agreeableness

6. Introvert / extrovert




7. Spirituality / religion

8. Cultural values

Before we move forward, in case you’re curious, the list you just read is compiled from commonalities

between the Bross Bennett Compatibility Quiz (BBCQ), E-Harmony matching factors, general

formulas for more modern online match making sites, OKCupid.com’s compatibility research, Corrine

Sweet’s formula for love and my own personal experience working with hundreds of clients for nearly

10 years.

Corrine Sweet’s “Formula For Love”, based on a survey of over 2,000 women looks like this…

L = 8 + .5Y - .2P + .9Hm + .3Mf + J - .3G - .5(Sm - Sf)2 + I + 1.5C

L = the predicted length in years of the relationship

Y = the number of years the two people knew each other before the relationship became seriousP = the number of previous partners of both people added together

Hm = the importance the male partner attaches to honesty in the relationship

Mf = the importance the female attaches to money in the relationship

J = the importance both attach to humor (added together)

G = the importance both attach to good looks (added together)

Sm and Sf = the importance male and female attach to sex

I = the importance attached to having good in-laws (added together)

C = the importance attached to children in the relationship (added together)

Perhaps the most important general nding from all studies, was that the single most important

predictor of relationship length were commonalities. Differences can initially be appealing, but they’re

not so cute after two years. Online dating site OKCupid allows users to answer questions for

compatibility matching and allows them to rank the questions from 1-4 in terms of importance, a 1

meaning “not that important” and a 4 meaning its “mandatory” their match gives the same answer.

The site actually weighs matches using a point system where you’re given a whopping 50 points for

answering the mandatory questions the same as your match and only 1 point for answering “not that

important” to your match’s mandatory questions. In other words, commonalities are given extreme

importance.

For men, the site found similar personality and strong commonalities are 87% likely to be a predictor

for relationship satisfaction.

The strategy I’m about to lay out for you is strongly based on nding and conrming commonalities

between you and the other person, so let’s get into some practical tools you can use to make that

happen quickly, easily and discretely.




Practical Compatibility Tools

There are three types of testing tools to evaluate compatibility: questions you can ask, activities you

can do together and actions you can observe in the other person. With that said, I’d like to give you

two big warnings about the tools I’m about to hand you…

Warning #1: If you’re hanging out with a girl you like, don’t get too caught up in evaluating. Enjoy

yourself, don’t make her feel like you’re evaluating her or she’s under pressure. Only about 2-3% of

your time should be spent actively evaluating, while the other 97% should just be enjoying yourself.

Warning #2: What I’m about to tell you is not guaranteed to predict compatibility. These are just tips

that are effective the vast majority of the time, but you certainly could nd a girl who is great, yet does

not pass some or all of these tests.

Ok, with that said, lets jump into the three tools you can use…

Tool #1: Get Clear On Your Goal

Before you can nd compatibility, you must rst get clear on what you want. Below I’ve included an

extremely important exercise. It might seem basic to you and there’s a tendency to want to skip it

under the excuse that “I already know what I want” or “I’ll know it when I see it.” The truth, is that

most men haven’t taken proper time to consciously identify everything.

This process will bring all your criteria to the forefront of your brain. Second, it will reinforce the

importance of these traits for you, so that when you meet a girl you can be much more sure, much

faster, if she is what you’re looking for. So nally, this all adds up to more condence. The clearer

you are on what you want, why you want it and why you think that’s awesome will make you more

condent, which in and of itself will attract more women. You always hear women say how attractive it

is to meet a man who “knows what he wants” and this is going to help build that in you.

EXERCISE: Get What You Want

What do you want your ideal relationship to look like? To begin the exercise, get out a blank

sheet of paper, draw two lines so you’ve got three columns. On the left side you list factors

for an ideal relationship, such as...

• How much time you spend together?

• How often are you having sex?

• What activities do you do together?

• What types of rules do you have?




Just in case my reasoning above wasn’t enough to do this exercise, researcher Dr. Edwin Locke

found that 90% of the time setting specic goals leads to better performance and better results. In

addition, researchers have revealed that people with dating goals report more satisfaction with their

relationships.

Finally, consider this an exercise in honestly. Researchers discovered that truthfulness, also labeled

“dispositional authenticity,” is directly related to their relationship’s functionality and outcome.

Women’s dispositional authenticity does not have this impact. Higher levels of openness and honesty

among men lead to more intimate and constructive relationships, as well as healthier relationship

function and quality.

Tool #2: Get Clear On The Girl

In the second column you write why this is important.

In the third column you grade the item 1-3 as to how important it is. 3 being mandatory and

a deal breaker, and 1 being not that important.

Spend 10 minutes brainstorming on each of these sheets. Remember back to girls you’ve

dated or met: what did you like most about them? When you imagine that ideal girl in your

mind, what are you doing together and how is she acting?

Lastly, save the sheet somewhere for later reference and to continually expand and update

your list. This should be a work in progress that grows as you think of new things and changes

as your tastes change. Don’t worry about getting it perfect the rst time.

Here are a few useful tips on this exercise…

Make a list of the “perfect scenario” without worrying about being realistic

Add photos to make it more solid and really drive it into your conscious mind

This is a work in progress, always add to it

EXERCISE: The List

What qualities will your ideal girl have? Repeat the rst exercise again, but this time for traits

for your ideal girl. These can be based on…




Tool #3: The Man She Naturally Chooses

Take a look in the mirror and consider these questions…

• What do the women you’re looking for want?

• Are you the right guy for them currently?

• What do you maybe need to change to get the girl you really want?

• How do you make yourself the ideal guy for that girl?

Now that you’ve clear on what you want, you’re going to be a lot more condent. If you’re working

to become the man your dream girl naturally wants, then you’ll get to do half the job of attracting her

without having to even think about it. That means you can bring your remaining to focus to decide if

she’s the girl for you or not. Looks aside, here are three types of practical “tests” you can use to nd

out what your chances of long term potential are.

EXERCISE: Be The ManAgain, split a blank piece of paper into two equal columns.

On the left, list the qualities that would make a man perfect for your “ideal girl.”

In the center, list practical actions or activities you could use to develop these qualities. Make

sure the steps are specic and actionable.

For example, it could be changing how you dress or exploring new interests. If you want to

explore a new interest it might mean buying a certain album, reading a magazine or attending a

concert or art event – and if so, which art event will you attend and where?

The reason we deal with specics is so the action is simple and easy to take. The less specic

we are, the more vague the actions needed to be taken are and the harder it is to take them.

• Physical traits

• Personality quirks

• Spirituality

• Religion

• Interests

First column is the trait you desire, the second column “why this is important” and the third

column rank it from 1-3.




Test #1: Questions

If you’re looking for a relationship, three questions stood out as the right ones to ask on a rst date:

• Do you like horror movies?

• Have you ever traveled around another country alone?

• Wouldn’t it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?

When couples agreed on one or more of these questions, it generally foretold a successful

relationship. OKCupid gured this out by analyzing 34,260 real-world couples who deleted their

accounts because they met someone via the site and didn’t need it anymore. 32% agreed on the

answer to all three questions.

But we can also gather a lot of further insight from these questions: they’re all related to building

commonalities.

Further research among online dating users who messaged each other found that the following words

boosted response rate by 35-45%...

• zombie

• band

• tattoo

• literature

• studying

• vegetarian

• metal

• favorite movies (topic)

Again these are referencing commonalities and at the same time there’s a lot of good evidence on

questions you could ask a girl during a date.

As cliché as it might sound, food, music, movies, school and art are great topics to start.

PRO TIP: Look For Clues

When you’re with your girl, pay very close attention to how she’s dressed, her jewelry, tattoos

– everything! Giving her compliments about these things and asking follow-up questions to

show your interest is a killer one-two punch to build commonalities.




Creating Your OWN Questions

Get creative. You know what you want in your ideal girl at this point, so feel free to ask questions that

will naturally lead the conversation to the answers you want. Does she love food? Does she love the

same bands you love? Some men steer away from these topics for fear of losing a girl, but the goal

here is to make sure she’s the best girl for you through compatibility and if she’s not a good match

then the less time you spend with her, the more time you can spend looking for the right girl. So

there’s no harm in cutting to the chase occasionally, just don’t be all business and make sure you both

enjoy yourselfs.

When you’ve used one or two of these, you can also try these broader questions that are

designed to expose interest…

• What did you did past weekend?

• What are you plans for the coming weekend?

• What did you do today?

• What area of town do you live in?

• Where are you originally from?

Again, these questions might sound cliché, but that’s not a problem. The important part is that

you sound genuinely interested in getting to know her when you ask these questions. If it

sounds like you’re asking these questions because you can’t think of anything else to say, she’ll

get the impression you don’t really care about the answer – or her, much less for that matter.

PRO TIP: The Ex-Boyfriend Trick

Just how some psychologists argue that women are essentially looking for their father in

another man, it’s also true that women look for their ex-boyfriend in a man. After all, it was

a man she was strongly attracted to. I’ve found that very often, women become turned on by

a guy just because he looks like their ex-boyfriend and perhaps even you might notice your

interest in girls who look and act familiar to a past relationship.

Here are three key questions that can give you extreme undercover insight into her desires

and preferences in a man. I like to slowly move into this line of questions by moving to the

topic of how long she’s been single and if she’s dating anyone interesting lately, then I’ll ask…




Test #2: Activities

Think of a date as a test. Choose activities you like or want to do with someone, see how she

responds, actions speak louder than words.

I suggest keeping the intensity of the activities low when you’re rst getting to know each other and

gradually raising them on the second or third date. Here are some great date ideas that can expose

your dates inner personality and help you nd commonalities…

The Drinks Date – This is a standard one, but grabbing drinks at a bar you like is a good way to

gauge her impression of you. It’s ok to take your date somewhere “nice,” but avoid taking her to a

place you don’t enjoy. You want to see how she’s going to react to being a part of your life. If she

likes your taste in bars, it’s a good sign.

The Haunted House – I got this gem from a friend of mine. He would take girls to a local

haunted house that ran year round. While it’s just for fun, you can see how she’ll react when she’s

in a difcult situation she’s not expecting. This is also an incredible bonding experience as couple

who successful navigate challenges together and emerge victorious (even if it’s a haunted house)

indicate a signicantly higher happiness level in their relationship.

Mini Golf – I’ve heard numerous women sing the praises of mini golf as something fun and

unusual for a rst date. Plus it puts you both in an interesting scenario right off the bat where

there’s competition involved. You can help her, compete with her and you both risk embarrassing

yourselves while expose the real sides of your personality.

• How long were you and your last boyfriend together?

• Why did you call it quits?

• I know this might sound strange, but what did you like most about him?

The third question is really where the money is at. She will essentially be handing you a

blueprint to her desires. Also question #2 is useful as well. If she got dumped or he broke her

heart, this will likely only intensify her attraction for him and other mention in whom she nds

similar traits.

You may also want to nd out what he was like, how they met, how the relationship started

and how they transitioned from courtship to dating. Did he resist? Did he chase? How did it

go down?




For your second date you can bring up the intensity of the activities. You could go hiking, dancing,

cooking at home or in a class, hit a concert or an art exhibit.

Spending time together is undoubtedly important. When developing date ideas, bare in mind that

couples who engage in “exciting” activities, such as hiking, dancing, or concerts, versus couples whose

date night consists of dinner and a movie are more satised in their relationships. Researchers at the

Stony Brook University found couples who participate in novel and arousing activities exercise their

cooperation, interdependence and closeness.

Test #3: Actions

As important as it is for you to develop your relationship, execute challenging and thrilling dates to

test the negative qualities or deal breakers on your list. Pick your top-three most critical traits and try

to create an activity designed to test each one. Become closer with her while testing her to see if you

can handle her negative qualities or if she has the positive qualities you desire most.

For example, take a dinner date. Although it seems mundane, there is a lot to learn. Come up with

your own dates. The more novel the better.

Fail: If she steals food off your plate without offering a bite of hers in return. “This ‘space invading’

signals a ‘what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine’ attitude,” warns Dr. Van Epp, a relationship

researcher.

Pass: She doesn’t dominate the conversation. She asks more questions, speaks for shorter periods and

uses words which show consideration for your feelings, such as ‘perhaps’ or ‘maybe.’

Just remember, passing and failing are not related to universal criteria, they are related to the specic

criteria that you are seeking in a girl, which is why it’s so important you do the exercises to get really

clear on what you want.

That sums up the compatibility tools section and now, onto the steps to follow to make her yours.

Post-Date Debrief

Again, I want to emphasize that you plan your date carefully before it starts, enjoy yourself during the

date and the spend the time after the date evaluating it.

You do not want to make your date feel like you’re standing there with a metaphorical clipboard

judging her. This type of behavior will make her stiff, self-conscious and even upset. You want to allow

the opportunity for you to both enjoy yourself and give real chemistry a chance to unfold while you




both take part on a date that you carefully chose and designed. Occasionally, you’ll pepper in a few

curious questions to uncover commonalities.

PART TWO: MAKE HER YOURS

After helping hundreds of clients get that one great girl to fall for them or to get their ex back or to

get a girlfriend, I’ve found one major mistake almost all these men have in common…

Most men believe that when they nally meet that one girl, they need to try extra hard to make sure

it goes well. They stop doing the small, but critical things they did in the past that got other girls to like

them (usually they weren’t interested in these girls) and they now start doing all sorts of extra things

for that one girl they like because they reason that she’s “different” or they need to do an extra great

job because it’s important this time.

These strange excuses for why they suddenly needed to do these things are a clear indicator that

they’re starting to make a giant mistake, leading down the path to eventually losing the girl.

I’ll give you some examples…

Giving a girl extra attention because they wanted the girl to know they were “really interested in her”

Texting and calling more often because they didn’t want her to think they “weren’t interested”

Clearing their calendar because they wanted her to know she was important and that they were

serious about dating

Taking things slow because “this girl is different” or they respect her more or see her as “girlfriendmaterial”

Meanwhile, I’d ask, “so how did you act with those girls who were chasing you in the past?” And the

response is usually… “well, Craig, I really wasn’t that interested in those girls.” But after encouraging

them to remember how they acted, it usually came out that they didn’t do nearly as much work, yet that

only made these girls want them more.

In the book The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, there’s a character named Ellsworth Toohey who can argue

any side of side of a debate and win because he’s so persuasive. I’m always reminded of this character

when I ask my clients about the reasons they treat these “special” girls so much differently. Their brain

comes up with some very persuasive and logical reasons. On paper they sound extremely believable

and it’s only through experience and being detached from their situation that I know they are wrong

and are only fooling themselves.

The funny thing is that most girls tell men “just be yourself” and, while it might sound cliché, that’s

actually spot on advice. The problem is that that’s easier said than done. You need actionable steps in




order to follow through with this advice, like “wear a white t-shirt.” So part two, we’re going to focus

on are practical steps to “be yourself,” or more accurately: be the self that naturally attracts women.

I’m not going to give you any magic lines, but what I am going to do is help you systematize the way

you normally act around those women who start chasing you and help you use that same strategy

with the women you really do like.

So Why Do You Need A System?

Can’t you just stop acting the way you’re acting and go back to normal now that I’ve told you this?

Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

When a guy is around an attractive woman or a girl he likes, his behavior and thinking start to change.

You’ve seen those scenes in movies where the guy turns into a bumbling idiot when the hot girl starts

talking to him. He starts stuttering, he even says things do not even make sense. Unfortunately, thisprocess only happens to men when the two rst meet and for women, this is typically a turnoff and a

subtle signal that this guy is not right for her.

Recently a study published in the Journal of Exper imental Social Psychology found that a man’s IQ drops

signicantly after having a conversation with an attractive girl. After the conversation, men were asked

a series of questions and had trouble answering basic information such as their phone number or

address.

The point is: when you really like a girl, when she’s really hot, when she’s better than all the rest and

when it really matters most that you bring you “A game,” your own brain is sabotaging your efforts.

Why? Who knows. Perhaps it’s to make sure the right men are coupled with the right women to

ensure a successful continuation of our species – but really, it’s not important. The important part is

what to do about it.

After playing professional ice hockey for a portion of my life, I realized a very similar thing happens in

sports. When it’s “game time” you get nervous. You can’t think the way you can when the pressure is

off. You can’t tell yourself to remember things – that part of your brain is shut off. That’s why athletes

and sports teams spend so much damn time practicing. Practicing actively builds the patterns and

habits in their brain that will continue to operate on autopilot once that other part of their brain goes

ofine in an intense situation.

By using a system, you can rely on the system and trust it, even when your brain is clouded or shut

down. The most important thing to remember here is this: you absolutely cannot rely on your own

judgment in these situations. I’ve found my clients overanalyzing, changing their opinions and behavior

from how they normally act and defending it to me like it’s the best decision, even if it’s clearly not.




In their cases, I was able to see the situation with a clear perspective and offer my expertise to help

them nally nd the path success by giving them a systematic approach.

The goal of the system is to recreate that natural unattached guy, who is friendly and thinking...

“I like this girl so far... it may work... it may not... I’m not thinking too much about it right now… this is not a

big deal either way…”

So before we jump into the system, let’s talk about self-diagnosis. Are you starting to become

brainwashed by that girl you’re into?

4 Signs You’re Emotionally “Brainwashed” By A Girl

1. How much are you thinking about her? How much more or less than other girls who liked you

in the past?2. Are you starting to think she might be the one or you’re “in love” with her even though you

haven’t had sex yet or haven’t been dating consistently for a three months?

3. Do you fantasize about doing things together?

I ask these questions to my clients because they usually expose a strange tendency that all humans

have to mentally “project.” Projecting is where we imagine a person having the ideal qualities we

secretly crave from a relationship partner. You start to imagine doing activities with a girl, rather than

reecting on real life and what you’ve actually done together. You imagine how this person will act, what

they will say and do, you imagine yourself in love with them, even though you barely know anything

about them and your thoughts and feelings defy all logic –the truth is that she may not feel anything

like this in return for you.

Projecting is a dangerous thing, but just by being aware of it, we can conquer it. Just ask yourself: is it

reasonable or logical for me to be thinking these thoughts?

If I’ve only spent one hour with a girl am I really “in love?” If I’ve never really talked with a girl or only

stared at her from a distance, is it logical to think she’d be great for me?

Of course, it is totally ok and logical to admit your feelings of lust and that you’d be more than willing

to sleep with a girl from the second you see her.

Men Fall Faster. It’s also important to know that when we’re interested in a girl, that’s also the time

when were most likely to mistakenly assume she’s just as interested in us. The reality is, she’s likely

less interested at that point in time. A study found men indicated they were falling for a girl after an

average of just 3 dates, while women took 12 dates, so the men got emotionally involved much faster

than women. Keep in mind that when you feel this these deep feelings of desire early on, the woman is




likely not on the same page as you yet – another reason to calculate your steps using a system.

To further backup this study, a second study found that most couples say they exchange keys to each

other’s homes between the 12th and 14th date, which is almost exactly when a woman starts to feel

those feelings of desire.

In my experience, a woman’s desires start to surpass the man’s after a few weeks of regular dating and

sex – hence the 6 date mark that women indicated in the study.

So with that being said, here’s my 3-Step Emotional Control System (ECS) for success…

THE 3-STEP ECS SYSTEM

Step #1: Past Success Reference Points (SRPs)

The goal with Step 1 is to use your past behavior as reference for success and to help you uncover

your naturally attractive qualities and behaviors so you make sure you don’t accidentally throw those

away when they really matter. Here are criteria from past successes that you want to pay special

attention to…

Behaviors. How did you act in the past, even if you weren’t interested in these girls? Did you have

any bad habits, even things some women might consider a little rude? Are there anything things you

did to hint to a girl that you weren’t interested, but she kept pursuing you?

Topics. What topics did you discuss?

Statistics. What was the frequency and length of your activities like phone calls, dates and text

messages? What times of the day and what days of the week did you stay in contact? Go back and look

at anything you can as REAL proof. This is always better than estimating.

Make a journal and compile what you usually do when women are interested in you. Keep track of

all the three factors above. Make your journal entries as systematic as possible, for example, “If THIS

happens then do THAT” type of stuff. Make it very simple like a manual to install a cable box or setup

a new computer. The goal here is to get to know YOURSELF and how you normally act when you’re

naturally attracting women.

Step #2: Baseline Behavior

The term “baseline behavior” refers to how you normally act around a girl who nds you attractive

and helps you ensure you’re not overdoing it. Think of it as going to the doctor and getting your heart




rate or blood pressure measured. The doctor can then mark the measurements down on your chart

and tell you if its higher or lower than it was in the past and if that’s better or worse for you as an

individual.

I like to use the term “active disinterest” to explain the techniques I’m about to teach you, because

this really is an active technique that you are consciously implementing. Typically, disinterest is not

planned, but because we cannot rely on our brains to behave normal, we need to re-create our normal

behavior that has naturally attracted women in the past.

Let your attention drift. When you’re hanging out with your best friend, chances are, you miss

about 20-30% of what they say. It either goes in one ear and out the other or you need to ask them to

repeat it, but you aren’t paying full attention 100% of the time. You may be staring into space, thinking

about something else, getting a text message, etc.

I recommend occasionally letting your attention drift, asking her to repeat something or getting pulledaway from the conversation by an important text.

Warning: Do NOT come across as rude here. Once you employ these techniques you must be

apologetic and they must be used sparingly . Also, when letting your attention drift, do not stare at

other women.

Take extra time in the bathroom. When I go to the bathroom on a date, I sometimes like to

take an extra 60-90 seconds and keep my dating waiting. You can always apologize and say you guy a

surprise phone call once you return. It’s good to instill a small bit of curiosity in her, like, “is he coming

back?” or where you are and what you’re doing.

Slap that look off your face. When we really like a girl our brain triggers a certain “love struck”

look on our face causing us to smile excessively. Some smiling is good, it communicates to the other

person you’re enjoying their company, but try match the amount you smile with her smiling.

Don’t struggle answer EVERY question. Again, much like the attention drifting, answering every

question is giving too much attention. A great way to avoid answering a question is to get sidetracked

on another topic. You can say something like, “oh, I’ll tell you about that in a second, I just thought of

the funniest thing and I want to tell you before I forget…”

Don’t give excessive information. Talking about yourself is an easy way to kill a conversation

because the spotlight is on you, not her, and talking too much about ourselves is shown to bore others

in many cases. Second, keeping a sense of mystery about yourself is critical. If you give away too much,

you risk killing her excitement. Try to answer questions with a few short words or a sentence, then

ask a return question that puts the spotlight back on her.




Be slightly late. This is something you really need to calibrate to your dating environment. For

myself, with the age of the women I date and the city that I date in, women are usually around 10

minutes late almost like clockwork. You should aim to show up about 2-5 minutes after her. Sometimes

I hang out at a bar next door and then make my way over after she noties me she’s arrived.

PRO TIP: The Late Text

If you like to joke around, here’s a great text you can send – just make sure you’re at the venue

already and you’re sure she’s there too but she has not seen you. At this point you can text…

“Hey, I’m going to be about 30-40 minutes late”

This is best for a rst date, because at this point, the person doesn’t know you to well and may

even get up to leave after receiving a text like this, but you can step in, smile and tell her you

were here and were just kidding around. Again, this is good for men who have a good sense ofhumor, because you don’t want her taking you seriously.

Let her know you have plans later (which you may choose to miss). This one is good for FIRST

dates only as well. About 15 minutes into the date you can casually mention something about

plans you have right after the date. The plans don’t have to be real and its best if they are

casual plans, that way, if the night is going well and you’d like to extend the date, you can do so,

without it sounding strange you’re skipping out on your prior plans.

Texting rules. Calling or texting too much (length of message), too often and too soon will kill

your chances. Again, men make the excuse that they’re worried she’ll think they aren’t interested,

but this is rarely ever the case. 90% of men lose a girl due to neediness, not lack of attention. You’d

have to totally ignore 2-3 attempts of her to contact you IN A ROW to make her think you weren’t

interested, I’m talking totally dissing her here. Typically if I text a girl and don’t hear back early in the

courting stage (before we’ve slept together), I’ll wait 24 hours before texting a second time and rarely

will I text a third time unless it’s one nal attempt. Afternoon is also a great time to text a girl and

really gives things that “relationship” feel.

Err on the side of disinterest. If you’re going to err on one side, err on the side of disinterest.Neediness kills attracting at lightning speed and there is rarely anything you can do to x it once the

damage is done. Rarely does a man lose a girl over disinterest.

Finally, just to sum up all the techniques above, the goal here is NOT to act rude. Texting constantly

during a date can make you look immature, unfriendly and inconsiderate. The goal is to act

HUMAN! Texting, starting at other women, ignoring her purposefully, showing up unreasonably late




Step 3: The Behavioral Compass

The goal of the behavioral compass is to know which way you’re really headed. The compass can

either be the journal you’ve written about your past behavior when women were interested, it can be

a close friend that you trust (male or female) and it can also be the girl you’re interest in.

The Journal

We’ve gone over this already, but just to touch upon it quickly, if you’ve done the journal exercise

earlier, you should have clear notes, both qualitative (your behaviors) and quantitative (times, lengths,

frequencies), on how to act. Just take 15-30 minutes to compare your recent actions to your past

actions to get clarify on if you’ve been changing your behavior.

The Friend(s)

Run a summary of your date or recent actions by a friend you trust to get their reaction. Tell them you

don’t trust yourself to make the best decisions and you’d really value clear input from someone whoisn’t involved in the situation. Often, even a guy who is worse at dating than you are (or who is just

bad in general) can give you very clear insight into your situation, simply because he’s not emotionally

evolved in it.

Women constantly use each other as a compass. After living with a girl as a roommate for three years,

I’ve seen her friends come to her again and again and again to get her feedback on their situation, not

because she’s some expert, but because her head is clear and she can offer advice from someone who

is uninvolved.

Mirroring

This is perhaps the best way to keep yourself in check. “Mirroring” is body language term for matching

someone’s behaviors. You can watch her, see how she’s reacting to the situation and follow her pace to

make sure you’re not overdoing it. I suggest mirroring behaviors like: smiling, laughing, body language

(is she facing towards you, away or neutral?), eye contact, length and frequency of phone calls and text

messages and more. You can also mirror more complex body language behaviors to increase interest

even further, but I don’t want to get too off topic here.

PRO-TIP: The Morning After Phone CallCredit to my good friend Glenn for penning this one. He was telling me a story about one of

his own mentors and how they were on the phone and he was asking him how he could get a

girl to really fall for him after they had slept together. His mentor’s response: what would you

do back when you were a kid with a girl you liked? Glenn said, “well, I guess I’d call her the

next day.” Bingo.




Remember, if you treat her like your girlfriend, this is usually enough to tip the scales once you’ve

started sleeping together. Women usually reason this way: if he’s treating me like his girlfriend then he

must want me to be his girlfriend!

After sleeping with a girl you can give a call the next day (no, not just a text message) and

spend 30-60 minutes on the phone with her. This will make a huge different in the likelihood

that she will end up your girlfriend and your actions subconsciously communicate to her that

you want her to be your girlfriend.

PRO-TIP: The Good Night Phone Call

Credit to my mentor Justin for this gem. To kick this off, text your girl around 8 or 9PM on a

week night, ideally Sunday – Wednesday, the nights she’s least l ikely to be out late with friends.

Asking “hey how’d your day go?” is a good warm-up text and then following up with “any

exciting plans for tonight?” is a good way to gauge if she’s home alone. If she’s home alone

then call her immediately after she responds to that second text message and you’ll have the

best chance of her picking up the phone and having free time to chat.

At this point, it’s just time to get to know her, ask her about her day and tell her anything

exciting that’s happened to you, but most importantly, this phone call ensures that you will be

the last thing on her mind before she goes to sleep, which is very powerful .

Usually these late night “just before bed” calls are the types of calls a girl will have with her

boyfriend, so again, by following the steps that she followed with past boyfriends, you are

creating those same feelings within her for you.

The Final Nail In The Cofn

Remember, this guide in not a guide about seducing a woman and getting her into bed. I have more

than one course on that topic and that is not the purpose of this blueprint. So assuming you’ve slept

together at least once, you want to continue sleeping together at least once a week.

Sex is a very powerful factor so having multiple sex sessions during dates and per week are both

important and lead you faster towards boyfriend and girlfriend territory.

Continue to do activities that she would only do with her boyfriend…




• Sleepovers

• Trips together

• Bringing her to social events as your “date”

• Holding hands

• Calling her before bed

• Keeping a toothbrush or other items for her at your place

Again, as long as you treat her like your girlfriend, she will start to assume that she is your girlfriend.

Now, to make sure you don’t overdo anything and to make absolutely she you do not chase, just

continue to treat her like your girlfriend and let her bring up the topic of exclusivity.

The rst time she brings the topic up, it can sometimes build more anticipation if you let her know

you really like her and you want more time to get to know her. This lets her know you really enjoy her

company yet you’re still being responsible and evaluating the situation to see how things play out.

Chances are, the second or third time she brings up the topic may be the breaking point in which she

gives you an ultimatum to either become enter a relationship or she will need to nd another man

who she can get what she wants from. Do not be shaken by these ultimatums. The fact she is giving

you an ultimatum makes one thing extremely clear: she is very interested in you and is laying it all out

on the table.

Keep in mind, research has found that most couples get into an “exclusive” relationship after 6 to 8

dates, which usually equates to two months. As I mentioned before, a second study found couples

exchange keys to their homes between dates 12 to 14. My own personal experience pins a girls

“where are we at?” talk at the 3 month mark and then a second “ultimatum” talk at the 6 month mark.

This is usually the best and most exciting time to agree to enter a relationship, but personally, I would

always enter a relationship with an “it’s great so far, let’s see how it goes” attitude. No expectations,

everything could turn wrong tomorrow, but so far, everything is great.

I like this attitude because I feel it’s not just realistic, but it will keep you balanced and level headed.

Women are often the ones to blow the potential of a relationship out of proportion, but by being

realistic you can keep yourself (and your partner) more sane.


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In Conclusion

As you can see, the “girlfriend” process is much dierent than the seducon process. It’s longer term and

it requires much more knowledge about yourself, what you want and how you typically act.

But with that being said, the great news is that the biggest mistake men make is trying to do too much,

which means the solution is easy: just do less.

We’ve covered some extremely specic, actionable steps to do less and win the attraction and interest

of that one great girl and hopefully derail and patterns of failure from your past.

I hope this blueprint was hopefully to you, good luck, and I’ve love to hear both your success stories,

experience and suggestions to improve this blueprint for men going forward in the future!

You Wingman,

Craig Miller

girlfriend blueprint 3.0

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