Jared Friedman, be preparèdTo not be sparèd your praises airèd—This wise young man, who’s seldom scarèd,Who can be comparèd with Jared?Go West, young man, go West!

Behold his tale of actions boldOf pages scrolled, of fate controlled!He left the school where he enrolledTo mold his dreams from Western gold,Go West, young man, go West!

You’ll not be shocked to find in schoolWe found his mind a might toolThat knew the “how” of rocket fuel,That could unspool an old slide rule;Go West, young man, go West!

More important, at his core,A store of kindness, a loving oreThat gave, and that could not ignoreA friend’s sore look, one’s feeling poor.Go West, young man, go West!

Whether the ledger, la neige or solfège,He pledged to create with his well-earned knowledge—Not to store it in jars on a dusty ol’ ledge.No wonder he felt hedge in at college!Go West, young man, go West!

To a young man so adventury,It’d feel like penitentiaryTo live like landed gentryFrom the 18th century—Go West, young man, go West!

Heck, he rejected diploma collecting,Selecting to rough it with savvy high-teching!He trekked to the Rockies and caught his connectingFlight to the Valley of Silicon prospecting!Go West, young man, go West!

Dressed in his spurs, looking his best,He was blessed with the fastest click in the West.Astride his steed Molly, his foes were distressed—If they messed with Jared, they’d be Pentium Processed.

Go West, young man, go West!

Renowned for his mousework, he would astoundAnd lasso the outlaws, who he’d surroundBy clicking and dragging along the dirt ground;‘Til he had selected each outlaw in town!Go West, young man, go West!

Then he assembled a great gang of wits,Prospectors sorting the grit from the glitz,Hammering, hoping, ‘til suddenly—hits!“Well what do you know? There’s gold in them bits!”Go West, young man, go West!

The lustrous glimmer shined out uncannyHe knew that this Flash wasn’t flash-in-the-panny.