Volume XCII

The Pine NeedleRichmond, Virginia April 2011 Number 5

DynastySenior David Wesley solidified his career wins record.

Coach John Gordon and sophomore wrestler Marshall Hollerith

Sophomore Robert Janis represents a strong foundation of

young wrestlers.

X-Term X-clusivesA2

Indoor Track Takes Preps,Constable ’11 Sets Records A3

Saints Win Tenth Straight VISAA State Championship

Mr. Szym’s 25th Year A5

Spring SportsPreviews,Predictions

A4

By Jack BorkeySenior Editor, Sports

New coach, no problem. The St. Christopher’s Var-sity wrestling took home their tenth straight State Championship in convincing fashion at the Stuart C. Sie-gal Center. A tough group of wrestlers beat the odds, and fought hard to keep their almost impossible streak in-tact. In a true team effort, 13 wrestlers racked up points during the tournament. Sophomore Robert Janis (130 lbs.), junior Quent Al-corn (171 lbs.) and senior cap-tain David Wesley (152 lbs.) bested all the competition to become State Champions. In placing in his fifth State Championship, Wesley be-came the second Saint wres-tler ever, since Zach Rolfe, to accomplish this feat. Wesley, who finished his senior season at an astound-ing 51-5, ended his Saint ca-reer with a school record of 206 wins. The second captain on the team, Trey Tarr (160 lbs.), took home a respectable sec-ond place finish. Junior Andy Pitts (125 lbs.) and sopho-more Marshall Hollerith (189 lbs.) finished third, while se-

nior Ben Thompson (285 lbs.) and sophomore Josh Setliff (135 lbs.) finished fourth. The 2011 wrestling cam-paign began with a new head coach, Mr. John Gordon, who also serves as athletic direc-tor. Mr. Gordon previously coached at Wyoming Semi-nary (Pa.) and is no stranger to success. He guided his team to three straight Penn-sylvania state champion-ships, from 2007 to 2009 and two top three finishes at the National Prep Tournament. Upon his arrival to Rich-mond, Mr. Gordon immedi-ately bonded with his team forming a strong respect be-tween coach and wrestler. “Although Coach Gordon has a very different coaching style, he was able get every-one on board with his new techniques, which made for a very smooth transition.” David Wesley said, “Coach Gordon is not only a fantastic wrestling coach, he’s also an all around great guy.” With a proven coach at the reigns and a long streak of titles, the Saints seemed to be a lock for yet another State Championship. How-ever, teams around the state felt the Saints would be weaker and unable to defend

their streak, as they had lost strong talent to graduation. Five Saints from the Class of 2010 went on to wrestle col-legiately --Edward Custer, Chris Gill, Ted Gottwald and Rennie Merhige all wrestle at the Virginia Military In-stitute, while Loren Phillips competes at Belmont Abbey College in Pennsylvania. Wesley and the rest of the team acknowledged the team was not the same as years before, but they were determined to finish with the same result. “We knew [that] if we want-ed to win the state champion-ship, we were going to have to work a lot harder than in years past because we knew we wouldn’t be able to win this year on talent alone,” Wesley said. However, at the beginning weeks of the season, specula-tion of the Saints’ downfall seemed accurate. The team struggled out of the gate, fin-ishing sixth at the Hopewell Classic and a disappointing fifth place finish, as hosts, at the St. Christopher’s In-vitational. However, several bright spots emerged from the tournament, as David Wesley was named Outstand-ing Wrestler in Hopewell and

A Perfect 10

Robert Janis and Trey Tarr, as well as Wesley, all fin-ished second at the STC In-vitational. The hard work and dedi-cation during practices paid off as the Saints turned the corner, finishing strong at the McDonough Duals, held in Baltimore, and the Red Storm Duals, held at St. Christopher’s. In Baltimore, the Saints again were led by their two captains, Wesley and Tarr, who were perfect at 8-0. In the latter tour-nament, the team was ex-tremely strong in their home arena with four wrestlers, Wesley, Tarr, Quent Alcorn and Robert Janis, finishing with perfect 7-0 records. Following a seventh place finish at the Big Blue Tour-nament in Christianburg, the Saints returned home and crushed rivals Collegiate School and Benedictine High School by impressive mar-gins. They then finished sec-ond in a dual meet at Ocean Lakes High School, beating New Kent and Northamp-ton, but falling to host Ocean

Lakes. As the post-season drew near, the Saints had momen-tum and were ready to defend their streak. The first test was the Vir-ginia Prep League Tourna-ment. The team tore through the competition, which con-tained some of the toughest competition in the state, and was crowned champions of the Prep League for the tenth consecutive year. Six Saints -- Ben Thompson, Andy Pitts, Quent Alcorn, Robert Janis, Josh Setliff and Marshall Hollerith won individual Prep League titles in their respective divisions.

Junior Quent Alcorn stepped up to become one of the strongest

rising seniors.

NewsA2

[ ]April 2011

Mrs. Elsa Woodaman picks up an impossibly thick red binder, and lets it fall, with a thud, to her desk. “This,” she says, “is all the stuff from teachers, students, et cetera, I’ve had filled out”— all for the inaugural year of X-Term. The binder holds everything from project proposals by students to bus-planning logistics from teachers, and con-tains in summary everything that will – or at least should – happen over the year’s various X-periods, days and weeks. All that information did not compile itself. As the director of X-Term, Mrs. Woodaman has spent the year compiling all the neces-sary information to make the project run smoothly. Fortunately, she came armed with the necessary tools and experience. Her position was a “natural continuation” from her position as head of the pro-gram formerly known as Minimester. The new project does not come without a few notable differences, though. “There’s more work for me, but also more work for teachers. It’s a big job for them,” Mrs. Woodaman said. Most of the complication comes from the labyrinthine logistics that X-Term requires: figur-ing out who needs exactly how many buses for when is a big enough challenge, let alone making sure it it all actually happens. Looking back at the year so far, though, Mrs. Woodaman is optimistic, seeing the year so far as “indicative that we’re on track.” Driving the success behind X-Term is the passion of the faculty, and their desire to create an environment where students can real-ize their own passions. The hope, Mrs. Woodaman said, was that “groups of students would start a process and take ownership, make it their own, and that’s really happened.” She sees the changeover from Minimester to X-Term, and the “increased amount of work throughout the year, and the responsibility” that requires as an op-portunity for the St. Christopher’s Upper School to show the world the whole boys that they have become. Besides an opportunity for students to shine, Mrs. Woodaman also sees X-Term as her personal opportunity to give back to her school family. When she was made head of X-Term’s maiden voyage, the administration gave her the opportunity to teach fewer classes in order to focus on the project. Mrs. Woodaman refused. “This is my coaching,” she said, alluding to the many teachers who give up their afternoons and weekends in order to coach. “This is a small commu-nity, and everyone has to pitch in.” In choosing Mrs. Woodaman to bring the school through X-Term’s inaugural year, the administration seems to feel that they have bet on the right horse, coming to appreciate her talent for leadership as well as her managerial skills. “She’s had a tremendous impact on the direction of the program,” said Mr. Tony Szymendera, Upper School head. “She’s a vital cog in the whole thing.” Indeed, Mrs. Woodaman has been just as instrumental in adjust-ing the faculty to the schedule’s changes as to the students. Accord-ing to Mr. Sean Nagle, who headed the cohort group “Vinyl Revival,” Mrs. Woodaman has “been able to keep everyone in good spirits as we switch over from Minimester project to X-Term experience.” Mr. Szymendera agrees. “Some people are just managers. She’s not. She’s a leader” with “a vision for how the program might work or not work, and that’s what’s going to allow it to succeed.” As always, Mrs. Woodaman is humble about her accomplishments and attributes the project’s success to the students. “Like all endeavors of any sort,” Mrs. Woodaman says, “X-Term is what you make it.”

Students in “Vinyl Revival” listen to cool jams during their cohort meetings, studying the natural beauty of the vinyl record. Photo by Sr. Sean Nagle

By Ben ResnikSenior Editor, Online

XTerm X-ceeds X-pectations

Going into the community ser-vice cohort, some students were wary about their X-Term pick. After scraping paint on the first day, Junior Holt Walker thought, “Oh geez what have I gotten into?” But once his group moved inside and started playing with kids, Walker’s attitude changed. “[Moving inside] was the best decision I made,” said Walker. The students got to choose where

they carried out their project. The Wil-liam Byrd Community House was the group’s first pick. They had two goals: supporting early childhood education programs and helping with landscap-ing. “We moved a lot of mulch,” said Mr. Jay Wood. Students got a lot out of this commu-nity service. According to Mr. Wood, “Students started to show leadership and become active participants.”

By Lee McElroyJunior Contributor Community Service

Do you have any idea what 18361314281427311436103612242014 means? It’s coded lettering for “I de-serve a Coke.” This process, called public key cryp-tography, encodes and decodes nu-merical messages using Fermat’s lit-tle theorem and Euclidian algorithm and was the focus of an X-Term cohort led by Mr. Jim Boyd. Each letter is assigned a number. In the code above A is 10, B is 11, C is 12, this is constant all the way through Z which is 35. Space is recorded as 36. This code is very simple. In more complex codes, you need to have a key and that key may require you to use inverse functions. Most of the math used in this is college level. Some of the things that the members of this cohort ended up learning included cyclic groups, number theory, group theory and Eu-clidian algorithms, all very complex math. “The concept was easy, but the math was hard to understand,” said sophomore Nat Rogers.

You may be asking yourself what is the use of cryptography. It is used as encryption for security in send-ing messages that are not supposed to be read by anyone other than the intended person. The government of the United States requires that all le-gal documents be encrypted. It’s also used with credit cards and other sen-sitive information. The public key cohort spent most of the time leading up to X Term learn-ing the math to decode Mr. Boyd’s messages. When X Term finally came around, they were ready to decode. One day, the group went to McGuire-Woods law firm to learn how it en-crypts documents. The rule for decoding cryptogra-phy is so complex that no can figure it out. If all this math interests you, Mr. Boyd would like to teach the cohort again next year and would maybe even like to turn it into a semester course called Mathematica and Public Key Cryptography.”

By Hamilton ShaheenSophomore Contributor

Public Key Cryptography

Most students and teachers don’t know the mysteries in the foods that we eat, but that’s exactly what the members of Field to Fork hoped to find out. English teacher Mr. John Green said he hoped “students would grasp a better understanding of the food in-dustry and help make more conscious decisions about the food they eat.” And that’s exactly what they accom-plished during X-Term week. The highlights of the week included a visit to Polyface farm in Swoope, Va, where the students experienced how a real working farm operates. During their time there they saw a chicken

coop and learned about corn. “Corn is in everything we eat, and it’s not necessarily good for you,” said junior Jack McDowell. They also participated in a cooking class later in the week at Sur La Ta-ble, where they cooked and ate mahi-mahi fish tacos. The general feeling that the group took away from their experience is best stated by McDowell who said “The food that we eat isn’t what we think it is.” Overall Mr. Green considered the week to be a success in exposing stu-dents to major discussion points relat-ed to food and the food industry.”

By Landon KempJunior Contributor Field to Fork

The James River cohort start-ed with some questions about the origin of the river. After a week with Mr. Randolph that and many other questions were answered. As the cohort went along the students gained more apprecia-tion for the river. They walked along the flood wall at Manches-ter Bridge and visited Hogg Is-land to seeing the sights at Belle Isle, During the week the group vis-ited the Virginia Game and In-land Fishery and learned about all sorts of animals and fish pat-terns. The group also went to the

VCU Rice Center and tested the water. “The week was full of thrills, kills and chills, and one of my favorite parts of the week was fishing,” said Junior Jesse White. The group went to Tuck-er Brown’s farm to fish. “It was a really cool experience because for some of the students it was their first time fishing,” Mrs. La-nois said. There was a lot of fun in the cohort along with the learning. James Lockerby said, “The week was great and went well except when Mr. Randolph fell in the river.”

By James BrughJunior Contributor James RiverScott Cogswell, Austin Boze, Andrew Fernandez and Jack Borkey on the Spain trip.

[ ]Sports A3

April 2011

On Saturday, Feb. 19, the field house filled up earlier than usual. Along with athletes warming up for the high jump, shot put and other field events, there was a large group of students, athletes, friends and teachers who had come to watch the dedica-tion of the Bruce E. Nystrom Indoor Track. Last summer, the school decided to name the track after Mr. Nystrom who taught and coached at St. Christopher’s for 46 years. He was the school’s first Spanish teacher, the foundation of the successful language pro-gram we now have. He was also a coach and mentor to several generations of distance runners. In his speech at the dedication, Mr. Stillwell called Mr. Nystrom “a tremendous example of the teacher/coach model,” citing some impressive statistics: Nystrom taught an estimated 33,000 individual classes of Spanish while coaching his Cross Country runners to five state championships and 12 prep league championships. Last year, Mr. Nystrom announced his retirement and passed the mantle of Cross Country head coach to Mr. Bruner, but he has continued to play an active role (too active, some runners might say) in coaching the school’s distance runners. “I think anyone who knows Bruce would say that more important than all those wins are the hundreds and hundreds of relation-ships with students and runners,” said Mr. Stillwell. Evidence of those relationships was all around him. Mr. Stillwell, who gave a short talk, Mr. Steed, who led the group in prayer,

and Mr. Nystrom himself were surrounded by a large crowd of people who came to hon-or their coach, teacher, and friend. Every-where one looked, there were groups of for-mer runners discussing a particularly brutal Nystrom workout or how he told them to run a certain race. Some had graduated 30 years before; some were home from college for the weekend, and some were preparing to run in the Prep League meet that afternoon. Mr. Nystrom, who quipped earlier that he had expected a smoking bench to be named after him rather than a track, also spoke briefly at the ceremony. Though he was without his trademark orange hat, he deliv-ered a speech that could only be described as classic Nystrom. The longtime coach and mentor started off by thanking the parents and support-ers of his teams, saying, “Without you, this building is just mortar and cement.” He then turned his attention to those he coached. “Athletes,” he said, “keep your dreams alive, and strive to make them come true.” In typical fashion, he also advised the coaches: “Keep scheming. Yes, scheming! For that perfect workout or environment.” When the dedication was over, the stu-dents, faculty, and former runners remained in the field house to watch the Prep League meet begin. Donning his orange hat, the one with “El Señor” stitched into it, Mr. Nystrom was on the infield all day as his Saints won the Prep League for the first time on the Bruce E. Nystrom Indoor Track.

Saints Take First Prep League Title on Bruce E. Nystrom Indoor Track

By Stephen WoodSenior Contributor

Hard Work

...and DedicationStar thrower Andre Aganbi ’11

Senior Ben Constable has come a long way since his early high school athletic career, proving to the entire community why his name belongs on the track record board in the field house. Constable started his ath-letic career playing soccer and baseball his freshman year. After being cut from the Futsal team and real-izing that Varsity baseball was not in his future, he decided to give track a try his sophomore year. “I have always been pretty good at running, and I have had a pretty good engine,” said Constable. This year has been noth-ing short of phenomenal for Constable, so far breaking three school records in the 500 meter, 1000 meter, and 4x800 meter relay. What quickly set him apart from the pack was his discipline and determina-tion. “I feel like before track started I had one-fifth of the work ethic that I have now,” says the senior captain. Slowly, he progressed from sprinting to mid-dis-tance running, and fought his way into some Varsity events and relays. This suc-cess didn’t just happen over-night however. Instead it was the result of hard work in the weight room with Coach Blanton and Coach Pospahala. During the past few sum-mers Constable has been ac-tive in the summer strength

and conditioning program at school, participating in workouts that involve an hour of lifting in the weight room and then running four to 10 miles after. “Lifting with Shad and Blanton has been huge for my success,” said Constable. “The sum-mer SAC program has really helped build my endurance.” Running on the same Varsity teams as Jay Weis-brod and Harrison Tucker naturally set the bar high for Constable’s career. In the 2009 Penn Relays, Constable was left off of the team because of the record set-ting team of seniors. Later, Coach Bruner was regretful. “Ben was always leading the workouts, and I knew we were leaving our best runner in Richmond,” he said. Now, his leadership at St. Christopher’s is nothing but exceptional. Coach Bruner said, “The success of this team comes from his selfless acts of responsibility.” These self-less acts have also played out in his relationship with his family and his peers. Constable is the oldest of six children and a member of the Honor Council. The future is promising for Constable. He is looking to have a strong finish in spring track, before moving on to run for the College of William& Mary next fall. “I do not think his record breaking days are done,” says Coach Bruner. “I think that the outdoor 400 meter and 800 records are also within grasp.”

Ben Constable ’11 Shows Up BigBy Page KempJunior Contributor

The Indoor Track team had a spectacular season this year. Records were bro-ken and titles were won. The Saints ended the season 27-1, giving the team a win percentage of 96.4 percent. The only loss came

to Atlee High School. The Saints not only won the Prep League; they beat many strong public school teams in the regular season. The school records broken include a blazing 4 x 800 time of 8:01 from Seniors Ben Constable and Jamie Ball and Juniors Eddie Whitlock and Aoky Sarhan.

The Indoor team also dis-played excellence in the field with Senior Andre Aganbi leading the shot put team and Junior Chip Wigginton excelling at pole vault. Next year’s team also looks strong and will likely continue the winning tra-dition of St. Christopher’s Indoor Track.

By Wells BaylorSenior Editor, News

Recap

A collection of Upper School students from St. Catherine’s and St. Christopher’s who par-ticipated in the various branches of the choir had the opportunity to tour England for X Term. The group sang “Evensong” at St. Mary Radcliff in Bristol, Em-manuel College in Cambridge and a church in Winchester. Mr. Vick, Dr. Stephenson, Mr. Johns, Mrs. McGehee and Mrs. Doyle chaperoned the event which included a combination of singing and touring historical landmarks.

Senior Henry Ilnicky enjoyed seeing a mixture of small villag-es and cities. “Cambridge was really quaint. It was great see-ing the oldest and most presti-gious college in the world.” But his favorite part of the trip was connecting with the un-derclassmen and working with the choir directors. “Getting to know a lot of the people in the choir was the best, and the direc-tors were so good,” Ilnicky said. “It was really great to work with them.”

By Wells BaylorSenior Editor, News

Trekking through mountains, riding camels and sleeping in the Sahara Desert were just a few of the many activities in which the Morocco X term cohort partici-pated. During X term, while many students remained here at school, a small group of juniors and Mr. Carlson travelled to Mo-rocco to see a different part of the world and to experience a different culture. The main culture that the cohort in-teracted with was the Berber culture, a hospitable group of Moroccans who have a very optimistic view of life. “The Berber culture mainly differs from American cul-

ture because all of the economy is based on bargaining,” said Mr. Carlson. In ad-dition to exploring the culture, the cohort also took part in building irrigation sys-tems in the local communities to help out the underprivileged people. The trip not only exposed the group to a different part of the world, but also taught them life lessons. “The trip really helped us realize to live in the moment,” said junior Ian Daniel. “The Berbers al-ways value their friendships more than their money, and I think this is how we should live our lives as well.”

By Page KempJunior Contributor MoroccoChoir to England

April 2011NewsA3

A4 April 2011Sports

More than any other sport, baseball requires a lot of depth—it’s a long season, injury risk is high and you can’t produce with only a few good players. Losing five graduating seniors going on to collegiate and professional baseball, Saints Varsity baseball could’ve been slotted for a rebuilding season. But with a strong Senior Class, solid juniors and an exciting crop of sophomores, the team is well equipped for a great showing in the Prep League and beyond—a chance to establish St.

Christopher’s as a baseball powerhouse coming off a 24-3 season. “I’m really hoping that people will underestimate us and overlook us this year,” said Head Coach Tony Szy-mendera. “We’ve got a lot of good talent back.” Seniors Casey Fox, Drew DiStanislao, Duncan MacLeod, Patrick Martin and Woody Stanchina are all in leadership positions going into the year. “Guys like Casey Fox can play with anybody; Drew DiStanislao can play with anybody,” said Coach Szymendera. This is a team with a powerful offensive presence, racking up runs against

tough and not so tough op-ponents—they demoralized Norfolk Academy 25-2 in the first game of their double header. Sophomores Porter Rein-hart and Jack English are showing up big at the plate, already, while Fox, Martin and DiStanislao consistently lead offensive production. On Saturday, Captain Fox blasted a two-run walk-off home run into straight center to beat Cape Henry Collegiate. “That was prob-ably the best feeling I had in a while,” said Fox. The team is also sound defensively, but there’s always room to improve on fundamentals.

By Kurt JensenEditor-In-Chief

The Sophomores

The Seniors

Duncan MacLeod Patrick Martin Drew DiStanislao Woody Stanchina Casey “Fantastic Mr.” Fox

Charlie Yorgen Jack English Porter Reinhart The mound is where the team will need to prove itself. With the graduation of Campbell Henkel ’10, the staff needs an ace. But Cap-tain Fox is quickly establish-ing himself, hurling a 10 strikeout two-hitter against J.R. Tucker to make his record 2-0. Fox has the most pitch-ing experience on the staff, but the rest are fresh arms. “We don’t have the kind of shut-down pitching we had last year,” said Fox. “A lot of our guys haven’t had any innings.” This season, pitchers will be gaining experience, buoyed by the offense and

defense behind them. “Our pitchers have to get out there and throw,” said Coach Szymendera. “We have to hit well… and field the ball well knowing our pitchers may struggle from time to time.” Juniors Yeatts and Osgood are gaining mound presence as the season pro-gresses. By next year, they’ll emerge as solid innings horses. English is also pitching well—he threw eight strike-outs against Norfolk Acad-emy on only three hits. Look for the team to take another Prep League title and surprise in the state tournament.

Spring Sports PreviewsVarsity Baseball

Varsity LacrosseBy Jack Borkey ’11and Kurt Jensen ’11

Varsity Golf

Varsity Tennis

Varsity Track

Following a disappoint-ing loss to Albemarle High School, Varsity lacrosse needed a signature win, and it came against a nationally ranked opponent in Bullis School. Led by stellar play from seniors Percy Andrews, Jake Holleran and Captain Rob Vozenilek, as well as under-classmen Blair Farinholt and John Burke, the Saints overcame a four-goal deficit to win, 11-9. “They’re a very good team” said Andrews. “It’s a huge win.” Bullis was ranked 40th in ESPN’s Fab 50 Preseason Lacrosse rankings.

Seniors Jack Foster and Thompson Brown anchor the team’s defense, while solid midfield and attack gives the team the power to upset big names. Andrews is a face-off wiz-ard, singlehandedly taking possession for the Saints in the comeback against Bullis. While the outlook is a bit better than in the past, the Saints will still be up against tough competition. “I think that we have a lot of potential for a good season if we continue to work hard,” said Head Coach John Burke. “The state is really competitive, and our league is really com-petitive as well.” Lacrosse arch-rival Col-

There’s some turnover between the winter and spring seasons in track, but a strong winter team often translates into an even bet-ter spring team. The warmer weather makes the times better, so the team will have a fresh chance to break more re-

cords. Look for Ben Consta-ble to set even wider mar-gins in the spring season. Doubtless, the Saints will have a strong chance at tak-ing Preps, again. They also have the potential to go un-defeated if they can avenge the loss to Atlee.

-- Kurt Jensen ’11

legiate was ranked 24th in the nation by ESPN coming into the season. But the team has put in the time this offseason to show up big behind plenty of senior leadership. The team got in work during spring break in torunaments in St. Petersburg, Fla. “The boys have really been working hard,” said Coach Burke. St. Christopher’s Varsity Lacrosse might once again be the underdog, but the se-nior-heavy team is scrappy. Look for the team to pull off more upsets in the Prep League and provide a good showing for the 2011 cam-paign.

Led by senior Captain Harrison Vance and new-comer sophomore Adam Ball, the St. Christopher’s Varsity golf team, is poised to have a successful season. The team opened com-petition with a win over Trinity, with Ball shooting a

team best 3-under par. Along with Vance and Ball, seniors Paul Strader and Ward Wood, as well as juniors Jordan Chalkley and Clarke Asplundh, look to secure a Prep League Cham-pionship in the spring.

-- Jack Borkey ’11

The St. Christopher’s Varsity Tennis starts the season ranked 7th in the Richmond Times Dispatch Preseason Top-10 poll. The team is led by senior Will Halladay and junior Har-ris Blair. Blair was tabbed

by the RTD as a “Player to Watch” for the 2011 season. The team must upend rivals Collegiate School and Woodberry Forest to have a shot at the Prep League Championship.

-- Jack Borkey ’11

[ ]Life A5

April 2011

Faculty Trumps Seniors... AgainBy James BrughJunior Contributor

The streak continues as the students have yet to beat the faculty. The seniors came up short again, 34-28. Varsity coach Hamill Jones was the leading scorer with 8, one more than his assis-tant coach, Stephen Lewis. The students stayed in the game early with an early three-pointer from Will Lyons. Soccer players Chase Gunter and Lyons played on weekends leading up to the game to regain their basketball mojo. “The begin-ning was the best part of the game, because we had a chance to play in front of an excited crowd, and we were in it,” said Gunter. Even though the stu-dents stayed close early, the faculty pulled away taking a 22-12 lead into halftime off a

Mr. Rider buzzer beater. In the second half, the se-niors fought back to make it a 28-24 game behind Connor Wood’s team high 6 points. However, the faculty man-

aged to keep the lead and ex-tend their win streak. Some struggles were met with the constant substitution by the seniors. “It was difficult to get into a rhythm because of the constant switching of the lineup,” Gunter said. Over-all the faculty controlled the game and led the whole second half. Mr. Mauck, who has never lost to the seniors, said, “Brains beat brawn ev-ery time and the faculty just outsmarted the youngsters once again.”

Students were treated to an adrenaline-filled, best two-out-of-three dodgeball match during the halftime of the senior-faculty basketball game, the long awaited champion-ship match of the annual dodgeball tournament put on by our Student Council. Both the “Victorious Secrets” and “The Grunions” fought hard to make it to the finals, but in the end, there could be only one victor. The Victorious Secrets took a commanding lead by dominating the first match and didn’t let up during the second. Led by seniors Ben Constable and Connor Wood, the Victorious Secrets quelled what for a few seconds looked like a Grunion comeback during the second match. Fan reaction was electric. “It was pretty neat, I guess,” said Jack Borkey. James Lockerby added, “I noticed that Robert Kernodle looked happy to finally get on the basket-ball court.” The winning team received Five Guys gift cards from the Student Council.

By James BrughJunior Contributor

Saints Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive

When he was first offered a job in 1986 as an English teacher at a small private school hours away from his Pennsylvania hometown, Tony Szymendera assured his mother that “it’ll be just for a couple years.” A quarter century and seven varsity baseball Prep League championships later, Mr. Szymendera is still working at that small private school in Richmond, which is of course St. Chris-topher’s School. During his first five years, he had been given the opportunity to coach Varsity baseball, become a part of the administration as the disciplinarian, and oversee the day-to-day activities of the Upper School. At this time, there was no Upper School head position. In-stead, all of the administra-tion duties were given to three men: Mr. Szymendera, Mr. Jump, and Mr. Griffith, a former faculty member. After one year under this triumvirate system, Mr. Szymendera was named the first official Upper School head. During the 25 years, a lot has changed about St. Christopher’s: the students, the faculty, the buildings, the rooms, the facilities, but its core values have not. Since beginning his profes-sional career in Richmond, Mr. Szymendera has wit-nessed and helped orches-trate St. Christopher’s transformation in numerous ways, from the arrangement of classrooms and the re-des-ignation of certain buildings for certain programs to the creation of new facilities. He points out, however, that while St. Christopher’s strove to be “updated and relevant... in preparing stu-

dents for college and the real world,” the school has up-held its core values of honor and integrity and tradition. In order to stay in any community for 25 years, one must really find his or her niche and feel moti-vated and excited to go to work everyday. “People leave places because a school is not trying to im-prove or get better,” Mr. Szymendera said. “When you see an organiza-tion like [St. Christo-pher’s], you don’t want to leave. It’s the balance of new people and core values of St. Chris evolving without abandoning things at your core that make you who you are.” He also cherishes the people who make up our community. “My time at St. Christopher’s is memorable because of the people... Be-ing able to work with people like Mr. Boyd, Mr. Smith, Mr. McVey... is really memo-rable.” He also speaks fondly about the “14- to 18-year-olds who work hard, take se-riously an honor system and truly look after one another in a great environment and atmosphere.” At the end of my inter-view with Mr. Szymendera, I asked him “what is the most important or greatest aspect of St. Christopher’s to you?” After a brief pause, he slowly leaned back, closed his eyes, and assuredly re-plied “the people,” meaning the faculty, the maintenance crew, the administration,

the students, the cafeteria employees, everyone. “These people work beyond their contract, more than just to their contract because they care. It really is their vocation, not just their job.

That’s what makes this place.” He went on to describe conversa-tion he has had with parents of prospective students where he can say “with complete confidence... [your son] is going to get ac-cepted, find his way,

and he’ll eventually say ‘this is the place for me.’ That means a lot to me.” One thing is for sure, Mr. Szymendera didn’t make it back to his hometown after a couple of years, but St. Christopher’s is all the better for it. Like the people he admires, he too works be-yond the contract. I see him attending sporting events, Ampersand productions, dance and music concerts, and I see his door open to meet with students, faculty and parents. I see his fam-ily walk across the fields in the evening for dinner, and I see him stopping to chat with various people along the way. He clearly feels at home here and has made lifelong relationships. Though none of us know what the next 25 years has in store for St. Christopher’s or for Mr. Szymendera, we do know that in this past quarter century, he has made an indelible mark on our school.

Mr. Szymendera Celebrates Silver AnniversaryBy Chase GunterSenior Contributor

Mr. Szymendera pictured in the 1989 Raps & Taps as a member of the English

department.

The Pine Needle StaffKurt JensenEditor-in-Chief

Senior EditorsWells Baylor, NewsJack Borkey, Sports

Jabriel Hasan, FeaturesBen Resnik, Online

Senior ContributorsChase GunterFelix SchapiroStephen Wood

Junior ContributorsJames BrughLandon Kemp

Page KempLee McElroy

Faculty AdvisorMrs. Kathleen Thomas

Sophomore ContributorsBaylis Brown

Hamilton ShaheenLower School Correspondent

Kinloch Nelson

Publications ConsultantMr. Sean Nagle

CONTACT US:Phone: (804) 282 - 3185 ext. 4426

Email: jensenk11@stcva.org

See the Pine Needle: Online for a full picture slideshow.

Rafa’s Goodbye In a big black room with a lot of people, you are standing there waiting for the game to start. You can’t see very well and then the beeping lets you know it’s time to begin. You are running in the room with people everywhere and laser sounds all over the place. You start shooting at the other team but you have to defend your team too. After a while you start understanding the game, and you start having fun. It was my first time playing laser tag, and it was exciting. I also went to ice skate. It was my second time in all my life, because we don’t have ice skating rinks. Where I live on the coast of Ecuador is hot and it is very difficult to maintain an ice skating rink. This month that I have spent here was very nice because the people are so friendly. The climate was enjoyable. It wasn’t so cold as the last year when we had a lot of snow. Thank you to St. Christopher’s for letting me come here; thank you to the Varners for hosting me.

-- Rafa Viteri

Special CorrespondentsTom LeaversuchAndrew Stewart

Rafa Viteri

ArtsA6

[ ]April 2011

A6 April 2011Life

Spoon River Anthology Deserves Acclaim

“Spoon River Anthology” is a difficult story to read, let alone perform. It recounts a series of confessions and stories from the grave by in-habitants of Spoon River, Ill. The subject matter is ma-ture, dealing with adultery, drunkenness and racism. It would have been easy for a company to accept me-diocrity, and rest on the lau-rels of “Little Shop of Hor-rors,” but all members of the cast and crew buckled down

By Felix SchapiroSenior Contributor

to pull together a show. The set was master-fully done, employing a wide variety of levels and slopes to evoke the concept of a country graveyard. Sawdust and polyurethane foam were used to mimic patchy and unmaintained grass. With the use of a dark curtain, the backdrop was given an ominous tint. The score was performed live on stage by Preston Cochran, Scottie Prudhoe, Juliet Robin and Mary Lowman. From whistling to electric guitar, their musical

skill was evident and greatly contributed to the ambiance of the play. The fact that they were students and not paid musicians highlighted the wide variety of talents present in our student body. The acting was superb, with Ran Johnson stumbling about the stage a convinc-ing drunk and Tim Huster marching about, the very model of a soldier. For an instant, Keaton Hillman was Jewish. I legitimately believe Preston Cochran has a dog named Nig. The actors managed to draw the audi-ence into the world of Spoon River, requiring only a mi-nor suspension of disbelief. The Ampersand Company managed to do a lot with a script that might not have appealed to a high school audience, and everyone in-volved is deserving of praise. Hopefully they will surpass themselves next time with “Rosencrantz and Guilden-stern are Dead.”

Skype’s the Limit

Fifth Graders Visit Cairo Via Webcam

“Mubarak may step down?” asked Javiar Ca-pella to his wife who was off camera. The students were silent as they waited for Mr. Capella to confirm this news. Sitting in perfect silence, the fifth grade class found out that this was true. Mr. Capella, a man who lives in Cairo, said, “He called for a state of emergency in

By Kinloch Nelson ’18Lower School Correspondent

Reporter’s Notebook:The Girl Who Lost Everything

During Christmas break, there was a fire a stone throw away from the St. Christopher’s football field. A hairdryer caught a mat-tress on fire. Mr. Harvey tried to put out the fire by himself, but in doing so, he blocked the only means of escape. It was a miracle that Jamie Har-vey and her grandmother were able to make it out alive; Jamie’s twin sister Jessica and her father were not so lucky. She and her grandmother were both rushed to the hospital in critical condition due to smoke inhalation. On the first Friday back from Christmas St. Christopher’s held a “Red Out” wear-anything-day to show our Saints hearts. All proceeds went towards a gift card for Jamie who lost ev-erything in the fire, includ-ing her dog. On the same day, Mrs. Hollerith went to the bank

and got a $500 gift card She then came and picked up Collins Burlee and me, and we went to give her the gifts. Upon arriving at Free-man High School we were all nervous and anxious. We were wondering if Jamie might have gone home early or if we could find her. Mrs. Hollerith sought out the

principal and told her what we were hoping to do. The prin-cipal went and got Jamie out of P.E., and we all talked. I gave her

the gift card and the poster that the whole Upper School had signed the previous week. She was so moved that people who didn’t even know here could come to-gether and do something so wonderful. The principal even started crying, because the same thing amazed her. We told her that we kept her in our prayers and hoped she would use the card to buy some fun stuff, like an iPod. We said our good-byes and left with a feeling of satisfac-tion for doing a good deed.

By Baylis BrownSophomore Contributor

1981 when he came into power. This makes him be able to do almost anything he wants.” For the sake of the Egyptians, we hope he leaves. President Mubarak came into power when the old President Anwar Sadat, was assassinated. Mubarak has been president since. Egypt has a constitution very simi-lar to ours. Mubarak has changed his cabinet many times. He made laws against

running for president. The protests began when a man was beaten to death by the police. People were angered by the military state. Some people started a Facebook campaign against the Mubarak regime. Capella was born in Puerto Rico and at one time lived in Chesterfield County. He moved to Cairo when he married a Muslim woman.

An hour-long Skype conversation with a teacher in Egypt gave Ms. Fraine’s fifth grade class a first-hand account of recent chaos in Cairo the day before President Hosni Mubarek’s resignation. The event was coordinated by parent Sal-ly Hirsch who knows Javier Capella from their days in elementary and middle school together in Puerto Rico.

Resnik ’11 Records Album

By Kurt JensenEditor-In-Chief

Cramped in a bathroom with an acoustic guitar, amp in the tub for soulful echo, Ben Resnik spent his X-Term recording an album. After first trying his hand at song writing dur-ing the summer, Resnik’s first thought sprang to his music when presented with the opportunity through the X-Term program. It was a natural progres-sion from his acting, his spectacular performance in “Little Shop of Horrors” and his interest in poetry. “I was strumming soulfully for a week,” he said. Now the finished result is available for all to hear, an emotional artistic expression taking plenty of courage. But Resnik had no prob-lem finding source material for the seven original songs featured on the album. “It’s

been an emotionally complex past year or two,” he said. Influenced by other independent acts like “The Mountain Goats” and “Nana Grizol,” Resnik attempts to evoke emotions with visceral yet comprehensible, mean-ingful lyrics. He certainly succeded on that front. “He’s like a mix between John Mayer and Leonard Cohen,” said senior Robert Harland. “And Mr. Horner.” Resnik has even been well received outside of the St. Christopher’s com-munity, reportedly being contacted by Blueberry Hill Records who are interested in releasing an expanded version of the album. “It’s not over,” he said. He isn’t sure where his music will take him beyond a few gigs this summer, but Resnik will never stop mak-ing art, expressing himself, evoking the forms.

Download: http://cllct.com/release/thatwaymadnesslies

Opinion/Editorial A7

[ ]April 2011

I believe that many students do not fully under-stand the value of groups and clubs here at St. Chris-topher’s, or at any school for that matter. Sometimes I think that, in general, we take them somewhat for granted. But really, clubs, groups and student activi-ties are as much a part of the fiber of this school as athletics. They show our diverse interests, our goals and our individuality. They seek to capture who we are beyond the classroom and playing field, which is why I am disappointed in the obvi-ous lack of participation. As the head of a club, I have witnessed this lack of involvement firsthand.

People show up to meet-ings sporadically, if at all. On some days, the room is nearly filled, and on others, the head count struggles to surpass four (committed) people. What’s even more cause for attention is that most of the club members are sophomores and seniors-- mostly sophomores. It may be that the senior class feels that it has already done its part, which is kind of true. Senior involvement isn’t concerning to me at this point, however. Lack of junior participation is. At this pivotal yet lazy time of year, clubs face what could be new eras of leader-ship. Students aspiring to be heads of organizations become busy trying to prove their worthiness before May elections. So if there

is any time to be involved, especially as a junior, it is during these last weeks of the school year. The problem may be that our focus shifted early on in the year. Expressing school spirit through participation in athletic events became the center of attention, and other interests seemed to take a back seat-- with the exception of fall theater (e.g. “Little Shop of Horrors”). The annual activities fair wasn’t really even taken seriously. It seemed like it was just another thing to fill up an X Block. Please don’t think that I am against student support of athletics. I personally loved the excitement and social exchange of basketball and football games. After all, showing school spirit

for your team is essential to the high school experience. I just feel that we should recognize all aspects of what it is to be spirited. Let us also find a sense of spirit in just being involved in gen-eral-- in building a stronger community on all fronts. Let’s try to show respect for committed individuals in their artistic endeavors, in their interests in the vari-ous student publications, in their volunteer work-- both independently and through the Missionary Society, and in the many other activities offered. In short, every student in the Upper School should learn how to take advantage of every moment and oppor-tunity. One essential part of life that I have come to un-derstand is that it’s all about

experience. There have been times when I haven’t done things, when I haven’t gone places and taken safe chanc-es. The only reason why I don’t regret reaching out when I probably should’ve is because I take it as a general rule to live without regrets. I usually believe in timing: don’t do something if you don’t feel that it’s not the right time. I only wish that I had understood, and forgive the cliché, that “the time is now.” The time is usually al-ways now. A poet once said, “I wish that from the beginning people were told that they were going to die so that every day they would live.” Life is short. Become a part of everything in which you even think that you might take interest. You never know how much you may grow from the experience.

By Jabriel HasanSenior Editor, Features

By Kurt JensenEditor-In-Chief

As college decisions come out and AP classes dissolve into review, spring time rolls around and suddenly those windows are endlessly more appealing, Seniors find themselves confronting the perennial doldrums of the third trimester. Yes, it seems you can call a pig a new name, but it’s still a pig. A sexy pig. (Let’s face it, “last two-thirds of the second semes-ter” just isn’t catchy.) “I basically feel like Mr. Rider,” Jack Borkey said, “I come into school everyday, don’t do anything, and the St. Catherine’s girls are obsessed with me.” Here we are, third tri-mester seniors. This is what we’ve been waiting for since the end of ninth grade, that powerful sense of seniority the administration is intent on suppressing. WE’RE IN COLLEGE! Funny how the begin-ning of a new chapter in life is weighted down, mired in the old chapter. Another 10

pages to shore up loose ends, rough hewn as they were. And all throughout, the temptation is there, power-ful, dangerous. That tempta-tion to think, none of this matters any more. Suddenly, the activity that took up most of your time for the past four years doesn’t matter. You’re bereft of purpose. You’re lost. You’re BORED. Powerfully bored. Most of your day spent not learning things that don’t matter just enough to maintain a certain letter on a certain page that colleges care about. Your only purpose ful-filled, waiting at the station for a train that won’t come for another four months. (Why did transportation evolve away from trains? We need them for metaphors.) And spending your days this way is dangerous for your sanity. But what can you do? You still have to come to school, for some reason. You still have to waste your precious life force in the same old boxes that stole from you your adolescence.

1. Play way too much Capitalism Capitalism runs the world. It gives everyone purpose. And somehow, it manages to do so even in its miniaturized form. Each rags to riches story on every lucky hand and clutch clearance lends ex-citement and hope to otherwise lost souls.2. Listen to music I mean really listen to it, man. Remember all those times you heard an album and wanted to just sit down and listen to it? Well, now you have the time. Put on some headphones and space.3. Watch baseball Seriously. It’s baseball season, now, and there’s no better way to spend three hours relaxing than chilling with a familiar team and commentator. The Ori-oles are going to have their first winning season in 13 years. Time to bandwagon!4. Reach out Don’t forget your 50-hour require-ment. Chances are, you’ve got 10 or so left. I know I do. Saturday Academy is an awesome way to do your part; it’s mean-ingful and fun. Great way to spend a Saturday morning.5. Catch up on sleep Here’s a classic in boredom management; sleep until something fun comes up. It’s not a bad idea, especially since sleep seemed hard to come by earlier in the year. Maybe you can sleep straight through to Beach Week.

Club Participation Lacking from Juniors

How to Cope with Boredom (for 3rd Trimester Seniors)

America: The cen-ter of human society, justice, art and tech-nology. Australia: A crazy outback nation at the edge of the map. To travel from a country only known

for its heat and wildlife to one at the social center of world is quite an experience to undertake, and is one that Tom Leaversuch and I took on March 11, 2011. After 21 hours of tiny seats, fake food and five showings of “The Kings Speech” we arrived in Washington, thankful at our safe arrival across the Pacific. Here we were met by two families, families we had only seen through Skype or heard through a telephone. It was here we split but I can safely say that the same events probably occurred. An hour of car driving filled with question trad-ing and window staring brought me from the airport to my home for the next five weeks, where I wrestled my case upstairs and fell into bed. When I woke the next afternoon I was able to really see America for

the first time. The scene of my host Christian Alcorn driving casually threw me slightly as he was just a year older than me, but I got used to it as we drove to a gigantic Target store and armed ourselves for a backyard Nerf war that followed. That night, as I settled down for a bout of insomnia, I was told that to-morrow we would be hunting. With guns. This played with my mind as I had never killed an animal apart from the occasional insect that strayed too close, but I placed my indifferent head on and went with the flow. The next day I was driven to a hunting field and given my first deadly weapon, a double-barreled shotgun. We strayed out into the grass where I consistently shot the air where a bird had been, until a lucky shot from the hip brought down an unlucky quail. This was my only triumph as the rest of my at-tempts were either too late or aimed dangerously close to Quent Alcorn’s head, which I nearly shot no less than six times. The day ended with us standing around a pile of dead birds, an odd experience to say the...

These stories were too long to run in their entirety. For the complete stories, check out PineNeedleOnline.com.

By Andrew StewartSpecial Correspondent Different yet the same

On 11th of March, I went to the Perth airport with my mother and hopped on a plane headed east, the start of an excruciatingly long haul to the land they call America. So after sitting on a plane for 22 hours I jumped out in to the cold yet awe-some place that is D.C in nothing but my boardies and a flanno. I met what was to be my fam-ily for the next six weeks and was happy when I found out that I got pretty much the closest thing to my real family, a mum who always seems to be happy, a dad who has a wicked sense of humour, a brother who is better than me at everything, and a sister I only see when she comes out to dinner. Yep, all was well, I had a chill first weekend and got accustomed to my surroundings. I was pretty happy with everything till I found out I needed to wake up at 6.30 the next morning for school, coming off the back of coming to America that was pretty much the worst thing that could have hap-pened, my two least favourite things were now the first activities I would undertake in America, getting wo-ken up and going to school, great.

First day of school was pretty easy, all my teach-ers were lads* and Harrison, my host, made a good tour guide. After school I was introduced to the magic of Ampersand, the second best thing to see just behind Broadway. The rest of the week flew by, amidst it there was a series of schedule changes, new teachers and new faces and names to remember Finally the working week was over, I was shattered. I needed to get home and crash but my brilliant host family had more in store for me. We were going to the beach, something I had never seen before. I failed to understand why we were going there when I could be sleeping but when we got there I understood. It was awesome, the weather was beautiful and it was great fun. I attempted to build a bridge over a small creek but that failed in spectacular fashion. We went fishing with no luck and just hung out in the basement, also known as the “man cave”. It.was a great weekend but unfortunately it...

By Tom LeaversuchSpecial Correspondent Aussies in America

The Back PageA8

[ ]April 2011The Pine Needle

Double D Drew DiStanislao

Needle11 Kurt JensenDuke lost, lol. Good luck #WorldHistoryIIHonors @duketilidie

Duketilidie Mr. JonesMy bracket’s in bad shape, now. I had Duke in all four slots of the final four.

My fragrance drops this week, gonna be hot. http://twitpic.com/14nfs56 First Base

He’ll meet you there.

Fragrances by Polo

JOHN Villani Johnny Villanimissed my flight to China... Then the next one. And the next one. And the next 14 after that.

E-LOVE Emmett Carlsonapparently Morroccan souvenirs are suspicious materials?? Guantanomo is scary... #DEA

PattyWhack Patrick Englishdrank waaayyy too much tiger blood over spring break. Slayed trolls in England, lol.#WINNING #dogspeed

Real_Dave_Matthews David Matthewsfinally caught up on Glee. Can’t believe Quinn broke up with that guy...

VCU4LIFE Ian DanielI started being fans of them when Eric Maynor played, that makes it legit.

VCU4LIFE Ian DanielThese fairweather fans act like they want to be proud of where they live or something.

Saints on

1. The Jeep Grand Cherokee It takes a quick look at the senior lot to learn that St. Chris kids love Grand Cherokees. And why not? They’re rugged, yet classy. Big, but versatile. In short, they’re the lacrosse players of the automobile world. Whether you just want to bro out (see #6) or you’re heading to Qdoba, the Grand Cherokee is the perfect vehicle.

2. The Great Gatsby Anybody who’s anybody at St. Chris will have read “The Great Gatsby” by the time he is a senior. Fitzgerald’s classic has been praised for almost 90 years, but that won’t stop a St. Chris kid from telling you why it’s great. If you want to hang out with St. Chris kids, get used to hearing, “Fitzgerald’s prose is poetry,” and “Gatsby is the tragic hero of the American dream.” Do not under any circumstances ask a St. Chris kid if he has read anything else by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

3. Chapel Announcements With the exception of Henry Ilnicky, every St. Chris kid has heard hundreds of chapel announcements. The humorous chapel announcement is an art form that they appreciate even more than the novel (#2). There are numerous traditions: the “Angel” announcements of Peter Dorsey and Farrar Pace (#8), the “I couldn’t sleep last night so I called my friend” an-nouncement made by countless sports teams, the awkward trophy presen-tation popularized by Tom Daley and Quinton Robbins, and, perhaps the favorite of St. Chris kids, the “Uuhhhh!” The “Uuhhh!” is a tradition that we (and any St. Chris kid) could spend hours on. But basically it is a way for the entire community to come together to criticize a peer without indi-viduals having to worry about speaking in public on their own.

4. The St. Catherine’s Senior Lounge Possibly because there is no St. Chris Senior Lounge, St. Chris Se-niors’ favorite place to relax is the Senior Lounge in Ellet Hall. The couches are soft, there’s a computer for watching Jake and Amir (#7), and for some reason there are always girls hanging around. All this creates the perfect environment in which St. Chris kids can “chill,” but what puts it over the top is the delicious baked goods that can so often be found in the Slounge. Don’t worry-St. Chris kids are always generous about sharing this food. Unfortunately for them, some Senior girls have become less generous lately, possibly due to the bean dip that Farrar Pace (#8) left in their fridge for several weeks.

5. Using the Word “Bro” Ironically It may have started as a way to make fun of Collegiate and Trinity (#4). It may have started as a result of the “Don’t tase me, bro!” video. It may have been due to the arrival of noted lax bro Casey Bendall. Whatever started it, the “Bro” trend is a hit with St. Chris kids. A number of terms now popular with St. Chris kids derive from the ironic “Bro.” These include “bromance,” “shred,” “flow,” “chill,” and the habit of adding “bro-“ to the be-ginning of names like Poseidon and Oprah to create a humorous effect. St. Chris kids will tell you that they love to “make fun of people who actually talk like that,” but it has reached the point where nobody knows whether or not they still use it jokingly. To fit in with St. Chris kids, just talk about your flow a lot and adopt a few nicknames like “Brover Cleveland” or “Bro-hemian Rhapsody.”

6. Jake and Amir (The Old Ones) St. Chris kids love bro comedies (#6) like “South Park” and “It’s Al-ways Sunny in Philadelphia,” so when the first St. Chris kid discovered this Internet series, the rest were so impressed that he was promised free Qdoba for life. St. Chris kids identify with Jake, whom they see as cool and witty, like themselves, and they love to laugh at Amir, who may remind them of some dudes they know from Trinity (#3). Most St. Chris kids have spent hours watching their antics. This does not, however, mean that anyone can be a Jake and Amir fan. To be accepted as a fan by St. Chris kids, you must a) have seen every episode, b) have memorized five episodes of your choosing, and c) swear that the show was much better “back in the summer, before all these new ones.”

7. Farrar Pace Though Farrar Pace, President of the Student Council and all-around lovable guy, takes a lot of jokes from St. Chris kids, he always shakes it off with a good-natured “Gosh darn it, y’all!” His can-do spirit, ability to quote Spongebob perfectly and outrageous chapel announcements (#4) have made him a favorite of St. Chris kids of all ages. He is also a hit with the girls, frequently the topic conversations in the St. Catherine’s Senior lounge (#5). If you want St. Chris kids to like you, reference Farrar’s “fire code” announcement, or the time he did his Spongebob laugh. Fin-ish up by saying something like “Farrar Pace is the ultimate bro!” (#6) and you’ll surely be a hit with St. Chris kids.

Stuff St. Chris People Like By Stephen WoodBob Reporter Correspondent