THE ENGAGEMENT PERIODFr. Jacob Ghaly

F.A.W.

FOCUS: What to focus on AVOID: What to avoid WATCH: What to watch for

Questions Facts

What to Focus on

The character of your fiancé Focus on your fiancé: make him/her

your priority over your friends Focus on the internal person of your

fiancé and not on their outer appearance.

Focus on the in-laws: Keep a good relationship with the in-laws

What to Focus on

Commitment Life with no separation Love and compassion Giving and forgiving Providing to the other’s needs Change for the better In a righteous life

What to Focus

Is your fiancé your best friend? Focus on being open with your fiancé Focus on what your fiancé needs:

Women generally need love men generally need respect

What to Avoid

Avoid focusing on just feelings and not character. Don’t be overwhelmed by feelings

Jealousy Conveying negative messages from

your own family to your fiancé Avoid lying Avoid an extremely short/ extremely

long engagement periods

What to Avoid

Avoid relations based on financial gain

Avoid marriage in a very young age Avoid marriage in extremely different

social levels Avoid being “cold” with your fiancé.

Share your feelings.

What to Watch for

Make sure Christ is the center of the relationship; personally and for you together (Establish from the time of engagement spiritual intimacy. ex: prayer, reading the bible together, etc.)

Learn the weak points of your spouse and decide if you can live with them after marriage or not.

What to Watch for

Medical Check-up: It is mandatory in some dioceses now. In case of present illness prior to marriage, the spouse must sign saying they are aware.

Where is the relationship heading? Are you getting closer, or moving further apart

Watch the way your fiancé's family interacts with each other

What to Watch for

Watch for issues which MAY cause problems during the time of engagement such as: Invitation cards/ list Finance Place of reception Reception program/ food/ drinks Selection of the wedding party (bridesmaids/

grooms men) Favors Clothes Where the honeymoon will be

Questions

Shall I talk about my past with my fiancé?

What is the meaning of marriage? Why do I want to get married? Do you expect problems in your

marital life? Do you think your fiancé will fulfill

the spiritual, financial, and cultural growth in your future marriage?

Are your parents happy with the relationship?

Questions

What is the age difference between you and your fiancé?

Do your trust your fiancé 100%? Do you feel you can carry

responsibility of being a parent?

Facts

There is NO marriage without conflicts There is no perfect fiancé Declaration of an engagement in the church

is very important No marriage is better than a broken

marriage Do not expect to change your spouse after

marriage: What you see is what you will get You and your fiancé should attend premarital

counseling sessions before marriage