Forgiven to Forgive

MBC Men’s First Light

March 9, 2016

Unbroken – The Life of Louie Zamperini

After years of severe post-traumatic stress, Louie made good on his promise to serve God,

a decision he credited with saving his life.

Motivated by his faith, Louie came to see that the

way forward was not revenge, but forgiveness.

He returned to Japan, where he found and made peace with his former captors.

Only the Bird refused to meet with him.

Louie Zamperini – Amazing Forgiveness

In a letter to the prison guard who tortured him, Zamperini wrote, "The postwar nightmares caused my life to crumble, but thanks to a confrontation with God … I committed my life to Christ. Love replaced the hate I had for you. Christ said, 'Forgive your enemies, and pray for them.‘”

“I think the hardest thing in life is to forgive. Hate is self destructive. If you hate somebody, you're not hurting the person you hate, you're hurting yourself. It's a healing, actually, it's a real healing...forgiveness.” – Louie Zamperini

http://www.harvest.org/media/louis-zamperini-interviews.html (52-minute interview, 5/25/2011)

Instances of Amazing Forgiveness

• Zamperini’s extraordinary capacity for forgiveness intrigued me

• My attention was drawn to other extraordinary acts of forgiveness

• Six other instances that caught wide media attention • Pope John Paul II’s forgiveness of his would-be assassin – 1981

• Nelson Mandela’s forgiveness of the South African government – 1991

• Amish forgiveness of the schoolhouse shooter near Lancaster, Pa. - 2006

• Forgiveness of the Green River serial killer Gary Leon Ridgway – 2011

• Forgiveness of the Aurora Colorado Theater shooter James Holmes – 2015

• Forgiveness of the Charleston, SC Emmanuel AME Church shooter - 2015

Pope John Paul II Preached And Lived Forgiveness

Nelson Mandela - South Africa's Anti-apartheid Revolutionary Who Was Imprisoned For 27 Years And Later Became Its First Black President

Amish Schoolhouse Massacre Near Lancaster, Pa

“The Amish culture closely follows the teachings of Jesus, who taught his followers to forgive one another, to place the needs of others before themselves, and to rest in the knowledge that God is still in control and can bring good out of any situation. Love and compassion toward others is to be life’s theme. Vengeance and revenge is to be left to God.”

Gary Leon Ridgway - The Infamous Green River Killer

“Mr. Ridgway . . . there are people here that hate you. I’m not one of them. You’ve made it difficult to live up to what I believe, and that is what God says to do, and that’s to forgive. You are forgiven, sir.” - Robert Rule, the father of teenage victim Linda Jane Rule, whose words brought a previously stoic Gary Leon Ridgeway to tears

"Of course, I forgive him with all my heart. When I saw him in his hearing, I felt nothing but sorrow for him--he's just a lost soul right now.“ - Pierce O'Farrill, a 28-year-old who was shot three times in left arm and foot told reporters shortly before his release from hospital.

“Life should not be paralyzed by fear. I will pray for James Holmes. I will pray that the Lord can find him and change his heart.” - Justin Davis, 16-year old, who went with others to see “The Dark Knight Rises” the next evening at another theater.

Aurora Colorado Theater Shooting – James Holmes

“I acknowledge that I am very angry, .. But she taught me that we are the family that love built. We have no room for hating.”- Bethane Middleton-Brown, the sister of one of the victims

“I forgive you. You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never, ever hold her again. But I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul.” - Nadine Collier, the daughter of 70-year-old shooting victim Ethel Lance said, her voice breaking “Everyone’s plea for your soul is proof that they lived in love, and their legacy will live in love. So hate won’t win.” – Alana Simmons, Granddaughter of slain Rev. Daniel Simmons

Charleston, SC Emmanuel AME Church Massacre

“Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” – C.S. Lewis

4.9 x 102

Matt. 18:22

Forgiveness is about -

• The way we react

• The will and obedience - Let emotions subside, and then decide based on God’s Word

• Choosing to give up the right to hate or hurt someone (even if they are no longer alive)

• Overcoming feelings that the offense was too grievous to let offender “off the hook”

• Not depending on the offender to apologize

• Seeking reconciliation

Forgiveness is Not-

• Excusing or condoning the offense

• Forgetting or pretending the offense didn’t happen

• Excusing the offender’s behavior

• About changing the past

Attributes of Bitterness -

• What we feel when we have not properly handled the sins of others against us (whether real or imagined) vs. guilt

• Remembers details because memory is aided by repeated review

• Negatively affects offended and other relationships of offended party

• Root of a host of other emotional and physical problems, such as depression, isolation, insomnia, etc.

Benefits of Forgiveness -

• Benefits the offended more than the offender

• The antidote that can free one of the malignant and toxic effects of bitterness, resentment and anger

• Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

• Frees one from the emotional and spiritual bondage of bitterness

The Path Forward after Forgiveness -

• We must obey and forgive, and trust that God will restore and vindicate

• May require Godly confrontation in pursuit of peaceful resolution

• Once an apology is given and accepted, the debt is cancelled. The offense should not be brought up again. It becomes “inadmissible evidence”

• You will know that you have truly forgiven if you are – • Not feeling justified in your anger

• No longer keeping score of wrongs done to you and desiring payback

• Not boasting of your good behavior as compared to the offender(s)

• No longer bringing up or complaining about wrongs done to you

• Not resentful of good fortune or blessings experienced by the offender

The Process of Seeking Forgiveness -

1. Search your heart to identify offenses (Psalm 139:23-24)

2. Confess to the Lord (Psalm 51)

3. Confess to the individual you offended after prayerfully requesting discernment and wisdom

4. Ask for forgiveness and try to make things right

5. Repeat for each offense identified in Step 1

Forgiveness Quotes -

• “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

• “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape one hundred days of sorrow.”– Chinese Proverb

• “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

• “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” – Marcus Aurelius

• “Whatever is begun in anger, ends in shame.” – Will Rogers • “To forgive is set a prisoner free and realize that the prisoner was

you.” – Lewis B. Smedes

Bible Verses About Forgiveness (N.T) -

• “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matt 5:43-44

• “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” – Matt 6:15

• “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” – Luke 23:34

• Lord’s Prayer– Luke 11:4

• Emphasized in other New Testament verses - • Mark 11:25; Luke 12:48; Rom. 12:16-19, 21; 1 Cor. 13:5; Eph. 4: 26, 27,31-32; Col. 3:13;

Heb. 12:14-15; James 1:18-20; James 2:13

Bible Verses About Forgiveness (O.T.) -

• “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.” – Prov. 10:12

• “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” – Prov. 14:30

• “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger… A tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” – Prov. 15:1,4

• “ A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” – Prov. 19:11

• “It is a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.” - Prov. 20:3

• “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. – Eccl. 7:9

Forgiveness – Final Thoughts

• A true Christian forfeits the right to have an unforgiving spirit

• Accepting God’s forgiveness of our sins requires us to forgive those who have hurt or offended us

• You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you, and you wish them well

Discussion Questions - Read Matthew 18:21-35

Other Relevant Verses – New Testament: Matt 5:43-44; Matt 6:15; Mark 11:25; Luke 11:4; Luke 12:48; Luke 23:34; Rom. 12:16-19, 21; 1 Cor. 13:5; Eph. 4: 26, 27,31-32; Col. 3:13; Heb. 12:14-15; James 1:18-20; James 2:13 Old Testament: Prov. 10:12; Prov. 14:30; Prov. 15:1,4; Prov. 19:11; Prov. 20:3; Eccl. 7:9

1. Why do you think the extreme instances of forgiveness presented today were granted? Do you think you could have granted forgiveness in those instances?

2. If you have not forgiven someone who has previously hurt or offended you, what has prevented you from doing so? Do you see potential downsides to unconditional forgiveness?

3. Why should you take the initiative to grant forgiveness to someone, even if they did not ask for it? What are the benefits to you as the one granting the forgiveness?

4. Personal Question / Follow-Up Assignment – Is there someone that you need to reach out to and grant forgiveness? Be prepared to answer them why you chose to do so, thus providing an opportunity to share your faith.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant Matt 18:21-35 (NAS)

21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.24 When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25 But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.26 So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’27 And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.28 But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’29 So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’30 But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.31 So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.32 Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.33 Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ 34 And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.35 My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”