FOR THE STARAS THAT NEVER FAID THE COLORS THAT NEVER RUN

CHAPTER 7 MISSION TO MOSCOW BY Jason welch

Oliver made it back to AMERICA and was picked up by SPARKY THE STUNTMAN AT Dallas airport in the foundation helicopter for a meeting with his long time friend and oil baron Matt Houston at his Penthouse.

As the JET RANGER helicopter touches down on helipad at the top of HOUSTON TOWERS Matt comes out to greet them and take them down to his living room once more. MATT HOUSTON I need your back up on this one Oliver, my clients new husbands tennis club is a seething hot bed of Yuppie power.

They sit down on Matt’s beige corduroy three piece suit where there’s a coffee machine waiting for them on the table. MOSS It’s a walk in the park compared to our raid on Ecuador Matt . Tell me what this lady so worried about anyway.

MATT HOUSTON Her new husband hardly ever comes home these days, and uses an excuse that he’s at this tennis club.

MOSS Mixed Saunas can be distracting Matt, have you thought that he may have found a younger modal ,

Matt chuckles [ that’s a good point guys, but Emma Hart is well connected and insist’s that I Tail Peter, her husband, and that she’s only trust’s me not to bring the family name into disrepute.]

MOSS , I’m only here to test drive that customised surveillance sports car that you’ve been bragging about for the last month.

Matt [ this baby is surrounded with microphones that can hear a pin drop in on main street and digital cameras covering any angle. It has a top- speed of 300 mph, does 0-60 in 60 seconds, and has advanced internet access linking us to the foundation , and beyond.

Oliver finishes his coffee and get’s up [ let’s ride then cowboy, SPARKY , you can TAKE THE BUS BACK TO the ranch cant you, me and matt are on stake out]

BAD ASS MUTHER FUCKER FROM LED ZEPLINNE----------JON PERTWEE

I HOPE HE DIES OF AN INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT BY DOCTOR WHO

They take the elevator down to Matts private parking lot and as they enter, the lights come on to reveal a yellow sports car, parked in the middle waiting for them. They get in and leave for the outskirts of Dallas , Texus and are soon at the entrance to there golf club where there subject has been hiding from the family.

MATT HOUSTON So the plan is to check all cars to see if Emma’s husband has arrived and then go in and find him “ifregrante de licto’, as the saying goes. Just then a red Ferrari drives in and up the palm tree lined Drive.

MOSS Target sighted entering club Matt, lets follow him.

Matt and Oliver pull up at the parking lot and walks up to a side entrance.

MATT HOUSTON Could this be a club bar, so I don’t have to announce ourselves

MOSS did anyone order a club sandwich

Matt follows him to the bar at the far end of the crowded room and rests his elbows on it. [ I’ll get these OLIVER, two g and t’s] he says to the SERVING GIRL.

They walk over to the far table and sit down. Matt leans forward and becons Oliver to get his attention saying [ Suspect has been here twenty minutes my old cock sparrow so if there is anything going on then it will be going down right now]

MOSS And until they find a couple of bigger arseholes its just you and me bud, so watch this.

Oliver gets up and sidles to the bar, leans on the counter and shouts

[landlady I, want a Melon Bacardi Breezer right now my lovely, straight glass ] ( as fictionalised by the predictive computers of foundation)

MOSS [ And where the fuck is Matt going with my icecream. ] He points behind his back as Matt gets up of his corner seat and runs over to him.

MATT HOUSTON Sorry i took so long Mister Moss what with you not having a massage for your prostate problem for ten minuites but i’m bringing your icecream as quick as i can

MOSS What’s the name of that FUDGE PACKER WE IS TAILING MATT HOUSTON It’s Peter Hart, its just there’s an AMBUALANCE arriving outside, it’s blocking exit and the ice cream van is waiting outside. They leave the club bar and head down the hall towards the changing rooms. MOSS Did I tell you the tale of when me and sparky flew one hundred nuns from nirobi . Matt You havn’t spilled the beans on that Oliver, though a havn’t told you the one about the old empty barn yet have I.

MOSS Your such a jew boy aren’t you , why you don’t git me a raspberry ripple, and be back , while I wait for this philandering yuppie from Sainsburies.

They enter the changing rooms and immediately see Peter from the photograph given them by there client Emma. He is dressed in Tennis shirt , shorts and shoes examining his racket with concentration. MATT and Oliver stride up to him and push him onto the benches saying [alright Peter we are from the Houston detective agency , and your Aunt Emma wants to know why you have not

made love to her daughter for so long.] MOSS COME NOW OLD SON , WE CAUGHT YOU ILFREGRANTEDELICTO. PETER HART I’m just about to go out on court guys so don’t get rough with me or I’ll call security.

MATT Just give us the address of the shella you been knocking off behind the Hart Dynasties back, .

PETER Alright YOU GOT ME NOW CAN I GO OUT ON COURT NOW. MOSS Name and Address , and we go and see her later on. Peter gets his phone out of his jacket pocket and writes down the details for them. MOSS Alright then we can tell your in laws you’re a reformed character , and buy your wife a bunch of flowers for tonight.

Twenty minutes later Oliver and matt are cruising along 5th avenue in there polycarbide yellow servalance skirt chaser.

Oliver is in the driving seat while Matt asks “ so What about this girl that our assignment is knocking off”.

MATT i’ve just started a three year thesis that shakespeare was a nun

MOSS i hope the window breaks once more unto the breach

again once more

MOSS What this MONA LOVSIT Tennis coach. MATT yeah, easy on the clutch pedal there mate this car is a beauty, isn’t it .

MOSS Look we have an urgent memo from your office so Ms Mona lovsit can wait until we is less busy.

MATT HOUSTON They reach Houston towers and Oliver parks the yellow sports car in the basement parking lot next to a Mercedes and he and matt head over to elevator. MOSS Bascom is coming in later to have a look at the latest intelligence from agency. The doors open and they are greeted by Dorothy with two G and T’s. The lift ascends quickly to Matts Penthouse.

MOSS So how are you going to break it to your client that her husband is secretly seeing a Californian fortune teller and screwing his secretary at the tennis club Matt. Matt I’ll use INTERFLORA and tell her not to worry about him. The doors open and the two of them head over to Matts living quarters, while Dorothy goes over to the bar to replace the glasses.

HOUSTON Has she changed her hair style. MOSS I hadn’t noticed”

Lift Doors open again and a middle aged man in Hawaiian shirt comes out, and joins the other three by a large picture of Abraham Lincoln. Walt Bascom I’ve been sitting in on a senet sub committee meeting an banning hand grenades from high school locker rooms gentlemen, so I do hope that this is interesting. The large picture slides away to reveal an LCD screen with a swirly screensaver.

Matt Houston That gentlemen, is a representation of a time tunnel , we don’t know from where it comes from , but we’ve been monitoring it since Jodrell Bank was constructed in the 1940’s.

Dorathy comes from the kitchen with three cream cheese and chive baked potatoes The swirly time tunnel effect is replace by a message from the flower bed.

On the planet CLANERIA X the girls of the flower bed are monitoring intelligence reports beamed at the from a satellite dish in Chelmsford.

Pansy Its been thirty years since the agency has had contact from mother Russia and that trapped Sontaran does not have any way of getting off that primitive planet. Rose That sounds weird through a tachyon funnel Pansy. It is time we contacted our human contact Matt Houson to find the one called George Pravda. The Sontarons are offering a reward to us if we can get him to a rendezvous point above the stratosphere.

In the basement of an old government building in MOSCOW, Russia

George Pravda is sitting in his command chair plugged into his power unit, while reading the SOCIALIST WORKER. [ bloody Capitalists ] he grunts and knocks back a double vodka.

HEADLINE Exclusive wedding announcement of Duncan Macrea and his assistant Marlainer Dietrich. Centre page for photos. The surprise announcement from President macrea comes after weeks of specualation about the couple. Ms Detrich has accompanied him on his trip to the ARGENTINIA oil Rig just taken over by the Panorama chemical Company. George Pravda [ when am I getting off this backward planet. Answer is since the desolution of my Socialist Republic I am stuck here.]

Pancey We think that if there’s any chance of our Sontaran being rescued from earth to rejoin his people then it shall have to be now. Our last report of George Pravda had him working for Russia out of MOSCOW. His race would pay us handsomely if you earth men can get him to a point twenty miles above your atmosphere. I think

Tulip We think Your combined forces are our only hope of getting George back to his people , and if you succeed our girls will work for you forever I think

. Moss So to some up gentlemen, we have to rescue a stranded alien form a Russian stronghold without starting an international thermonuclear meltdown.

Dorathy passes cream cheese and chive baked potatoes around in silver foil rappers. This could be an undercover op more cockamaimy than anything that these ex special forses agents have undertaken since the operation in Equidor five years ago.

Oliver [ Maybe I should move my metal ego to Russia, and get another group together]

Walt [ that might be a good idea Oliver ,but either way we are going have to expand project ICERUS to take on a non terestial. You better hope that David Marcus is persuasive when he

meets those Brits down in Gyiana tomorrow, because I’m officially retired ,my power is not what it used to be and I could not persuade NASA to help us.

Matt Houston You git those hand grenades banned from high schools and you’ll be a powerful man in my book Walt. Oliver gets up to leave [Either way this shall become a Mission to Moscow, and I’m glad it’s now rather under the USSR. I’M GOING TO CALL IN Joe from our British HQ and tell him to catch a flight out here , as we could use him on this one. We shall reconvene here tomorrow then .” He and Dorothy go up the steps where Sparky the Stuntman is waiting for them in his flight suit to take them back to Seabreeze Achers.

Back on Claneria x, Rose and pansy are of shift and in the Pink pelican wine bar with the rest of the flower bed. The bar is full of young men and woman in full swing enjoying evening. Roses Pager Bleeps as she sips a drink . ROSE It’s confirmed girls, the earth men shall take the assignment and make us some hard earned cash, saving us from a threat from a Rutan battlecruser that swings past our system threatening us with extinction. Hyacinth Cheers girls

SEABREEZE ACHERS

BACK AT SEABREEZE ACHERS……..

MOSS i’ll be away from our ranch for maybe a month, while me and my other operatives are in Russia, Dorathy and you are coming with me. DORATHY I had better phone me mum in Manchester then Moss. MOSS And please sent a memo to Duncan at his Scottish Castle and tell him that i’ll be unavailable but he can still send the winner of Miss Panarama chemicals to Equidor as arranged.

Dorathy makes a note in her FILOFAX , and goes over to an ORAC TERMINAL, next the the large bay windows and checks EMAILS, where there is a message from agent David Marcus that reads :- Orac

Have made it through Amazon jungle and found the Launch site of European space Agency in Gyuana. Road right over the launch pad to a sylo where solid rocket fuel is made. Very impressive. Met by Colin devis and taken to ground control, which is more like a small recording studio with a couple of technicians. There’s an ARIAN 5 rocket on the launch pad, waiting for final count down . Boss, I have to give you the bottom line here. Solid rocket fuel is expensive but the Space agency says that you can have a launch if you present them with full details of Progect Icerus for there approval.

MOSS Message him back then and tell him to take a flight to LONDON England where i have some bodyguarding work for him. Forward that email to Duncan Macrea as well and his boffins working at his Titan base in Berkshire.

Dorathy sets to work while Oliver makes a drink , [ are we packing and getting ready to visit MOTHER RUSSIA now then Oliver. ]

MOSS I have a final debriefing at Matt’s Penthouse and then we can get our luggage ready of the flight.

So later on that day, Oliver Moss is briefing his team.

MOSS Sparky, can you go and warm up the chopper, mate this whon't take long .Gentlemen , our mission is to find and bring back a citizen of Russia who is believed to live in Moscow, Russia.

Matt is having a look at an inteligence report with a picture of our subject shaking hands with Michael Gorbashov saying that he was an adviser to the soviet premier, dated 1990.

Matt Houston Walt come now, if I was to give your guys the specs for my car downstairs they will show me launch codes on ISBN sites mate. You get me bruv.

Moss Right then chaps we shall reconvening here one week from today, and from there a Plane journey to MOSCOW.

In Gorky Park, Moscow, George Pravda is coming along the Pavement, pulling his sledge behind him, and as he arrives at his market stall he put the breaks on his sledge, and starts loading CAULIFLOWERS AND BROCKALLI onto a stall while dusting snow flakes of his bald head. Rinski Causikov walks up to him and gives him a large bear hug

RINSKI George, its so good to see you, I was waiting for half a hour to git me veggies cos the kids are screaming.

George Here is extra onions comrade. Keep that little one warm at night.@ says he handing over a brown paper bag.

George surveys a crowd over near a cloths stall and mutters to himself [ they are punny creatures your humans, there legs are to week, there thorax to underdeveloped comrade . that’ why I bring you good food.]

Rinski Corsicov You are a saint George, my family has always thought so

George Pravda looks back at him and says [go to the lavatory human, your bladder is weak and I am a SONTARON WORRIOR from the 9th battlefleet.] Rinski takes his cauliflower AND goes back along gorky PARK MARKET George Pravda [another satisfied customer] as he kick the wheels on his sledge. [ See you tomorrow Rinski ] before packing up and transferring his produce back to his , sledge, and, pulling, the cart back over Bridge next to Gorky park.

On the other side of Moscow, Vladamer petrov is siping vodka in his penthouse when the phone rings . [This is a word of warning from agent xxx. There are some Americans coming to Moscow to take one of the heros of the revolution, try to persuade them that we wantour sontaran where he is. There are still tests to carry out on him]

The line cuts out and Vladamier replaces the telephone handle on its reciver. He goes over to his breakfast bar and puts out his attaché case. He opens the case and pulls out a Glock semi automatic. From there he sends a text to his bouncers at his night club that he has a job for them and they should be ready to go to the airport and tail some Americans as there flight touches down.

On a PANAM flight to Vancouver Matt Houston is sitting next to a rock Hudson impersonator drinking a bloody Mary with Dorathy opposite , writing in her FOUNDATION filofax. Oliver has booked them , Walt Bascom, and Sparky rooms at a hotel and is reading a TEKWAR BOOK next to his girlfriday.

Later that day our party of five foundation executives , MOSS, HOUSTON, BASCOM, CAPP, MACSHAN touch down at Moscow airport , and they decide to get taxi’s straight to there hotel rather than take a look at red square and the kremlin. . By the time the four of them have made it out and have been to Carousel, the line for taxis has doubled and it starts to rain.

OLIVER lets go and get some Russian culture then, Walt , you coming. Twenty minutes latter they are at the hotel bar and recovering after a long flight over the barring straits at an alcove table.

JO CAPP Our stranded alien could be waiting all of a dither for us to come and rescue him. MATT HOUSTON He’s done very well to get with the Russian authorities, Joe, our intelligence reports have him as adviser to Gorbachov. So guy’s what shall it be, it’s my round.

LANDLADY 1 We get many Yankees in this pub . LANDLADY 2 WHAT CAN I GET YOU COMMRADE Matt Six bottles of beer girls and some peanuts.

Outside there hotel a car pulls up and two heavy’s from a night club start there surveillance, keeping an eye on the American party.

The foundation execuatives leave a hotel in the suburbs of MOSCOW, AND START THERE JOURNEY INTO THE CITY CENTRE. It’S a fresh cloudy morning with a strong wind. As they walk down the street towards there first junction, a grey car starts its engine and Boris pulls out from the curb. His companion phones there boss to report on the americans movements as the car follows.

JOSEPH These mobiles work over her so i’ve phoned our gang for an update. DORATHY Oh yes , how are they doing.

MOSS Ok now guy’s stick to business this is an important mission , right Matt. MATT HOUSTON You heard the message from the girls of CLANERIA X DORATHY do you think we’ll be invaded by an alien race if we don’t succeed to sent this man back to outer space.

MATT HOUSTON The message from outerspace that was relayed to me mentioned nothing of alien subjugation so don’t worry.

WALT BASCOM Anyway we are at the centre of an evil empire, Ragan said so when he pushed star wars at Congress.

JO CAPP They are a democracy now Walt.

As the party of five reach RED SQUARE a black car pulls up with Boris and Ivor, two bouncers hired by the owner of COMMRADES BAR sent to spy on them and report there movements. They Observe them as they reach the underground.

BORIS Right then comrade, we have them where we want them. IVOR Not yet comrade, wait until it gets dark and them we strike.

MOSS .Darlin we are going to have to rub shoulders with the KGB on this mission and i don’t want you in danger so stick with Jo and do some reasurch for me. That good with you Jo.

JO CAPP In Russia I could need help if we are to find what we are looking for and a touch of glamour could make the difference between success and failure.

MOSS Me , Walt and Matt will find the kremlin and get in touch with a member of foreign office while JO and DORATHY investigate a meteor strike that happened during Stalins fourth five year plan.

MATT HOUSTON yES, the flowerbed say our SONTARON, left his unit at that time so there could be a record of his arrival. I want to have barganing power that our alien could become a danger , even if it is just propaganda.

JO CAPP Yes me and Dorathy will look through the records at the library for you, just don’t get caught by soviet security spouting farfetched stories of stranded exter terrestrials.

SPARKY So I’ll be on my way then gentlemen, and i’ll see you in a few days with our passenger with our transport to BELEROUS.

They watch sparky walking across RED SQUARE

Oliver is the first out into Red Square and is captivated by the Kremlin building dominating the skyline.

Matt Houston We’ll we don’t have one of them in DALLAS BOYS AND GIRLS DO WE. Dorathy That’s right Oliver, that’s a mental hospital for the criminally insane. WALT BASCOM You lying limmy, that’s the Kremlin building, home of the Russian parliament. Listen according to this rough guide to Moscow,” he says leafing through a small magenta pamphlet [ the national library is down that road, and the KGB building is past that to our right.]

He points past the kremlin building [ Joe you and Dorathy go check out that story in the archives and me and Oliver shall meet up with our communist party contact in a café off the RED SQUARE.] JOE Alright then, give us a ring when you can pick us up, I don’t want to spend all day pouring through back issues of PRAVDA. Joe and dorathy trudge through the snow leaving the two Texans in Red square. Bascom shouts after them” Maybe you can find out who shot JR eywing for me.” JOE oh was that Russian propaganda too.

WALT HE is a wit isn’t he. MATT HOUSTON Well half of one, don’t they make a lovely couple. WALT YES PAL, THIS SPY game is making me thirsty, so lets go on steak out till the KGB arrive and want our autograph. They cross red square and walk past the kremlin building,and head up a side street.

MATT So Walt what do your government say about the manhatten project. BASCOM i don’t know anything about faster than light travel and time experiments Mr Houston. They reach a tall gothic structure owned by the KGB and take in the imposing power it symbolises. OLIVER You been up before a fedral jury of investigation before Walt, I can tell.

BASCOM I claim my rights under the fifth amendment, and i’m buying the drinks.” they enter a small cafe opposite.

Joe and Dorathy enter Moscow library and go over to the main desk. A middle aged woman librarian says “ what can I do for you comrade “ peaking over her reading glasses. Joe Cap leans on counter and smiles his winning smile “ I need the records for stella cartography and meteors, and ufo sightings, dating back the last fifty years comrade, and a viewing room if you have one “ LIBRARIAN All record have only recently been declassified by KGB and are in a private wing of this building around the corner for you comrade. She smiles sweetly back at him and points with a biro to her left.

Joe CAPP Thank you comrade, “ he says and wags his finger at her to lean over.”Where can I get a copy of PRAVDA guide to MOSCOW CLUB LIFE, and a Milk shake. ““ LIBRARIAN The papers are behind you Sir, are you a stranger here. Dorathy tugs at his arm and thanks her, and then they walk round to the new KGB declassified section of Moscow public library. DORATHY Don’t make to many waves Joe, this is strictly need to know, unorthorised and unofficial “

Walt and Matt are on Stake out opposite the kremlin waiting for Oliver to come back over from his talks with his ex colonel. They observe him shaking hands with the middle aged man wearing a fur coat and a Davey Crocket hat. Walt Looks like we got our contact at the kremlin comrade.

Matt I have to where one of those hats when I visit the Rubbermaid Virginia factory for an inspection. I supply them with oil for processing into plastic.

WALT If this alien creature is still alive , then they either have him on ice somewhere and it’s game over, or they have put him in a safe house and it’s a secret location. MATT “Trust Oliver Matthew, he has friends in low places “ he says pointing to his Wallet.

Oliver says @dasvdania@ to Comrade Rasputin the mad munk of the kremlin and crosses over the icy road.

It has started to snow again and as he enter’s the café he stamps his boots on a welcome mat.

MOSS Hi guys, it’s a yes, we have a lead on our stranded Alien and the trail is so hot you can eat your dinner of it.

Walt and Matt budge up and let there comrade sit down . [ You will never guess, look at this ]

He places a photo on the table of a Sontaron worrior shaking hands with Michael Gorbachov [ He has left KGB and is running a fruit and veg stall at Gorky Park market,].

WALT Let me get this straight Oliver. He became a top official after his space ship crash landed,and later became a special adviser to the Gorbachov administration and now he has retired to sell vegetables at the Gorky park street market, thats just beautiful. OLIVER Isn’t it just and if we hurry we can catch him there right now. MATT I’m not buying that cockamaimy story, they look like brothers shaking hands there. It could be a KGB plot for us to take a spy back to the mother land, have you thought of that. WALT That’s right and they would discredit our intelligence services as well. OLIVER It’s for the foundation guy’s so lets go for it. They finish there milkshakes, and pay the bill before leaving.

Back at Moscow state library Joe has found an article that was resently released to public under there thirty year rule. It reads of a strange round metallic object that was seen streaking over the suburbs of Moscow in the early hour of a November morning 1937. Many Muscovites saw this appearance and saw authorities follow it to the woods, but there was no crash. Agents back then where given no details, despite requests for information from the emergency services who where at the crash site. Under is a photo of a round object a few hundred feet above the earth.

JO CAPP If this Sontaron did come down to earth then, what happened to his Space ship. Dorathy Leans over him studying the photo. “ Back at home this would have been regarded as a major UFO sighting bigger than Ed Bishops blond wig. I’ll text Walt that we have evidence of a UFO in the burbs of this city 75 years ago “

JO CAPP Shall I order a taxi then , The pair make there way out of library, passing the check out desk .” Thank you comrade” says joe giving her his cheesy grin.

As they get out onto the street Walt Bascom texts back that they have a strong lead on there SONTARAN WORRIOR and that he, Matt and Oliver shall pick them up in ten minutes.

Two taxis pull up outside MOSCOW STATE LIBRARY and Joe and Dorathy get in . Oliver is in the front passenger seat, and gives instructions to the driver, before turning to Joe. MOSS Check out this picture of our subject shaking hands with the Russian premier Gorbachov. Jo CAPP Wow that is heavy duty, he must be one smart potatoe head . I got a print out from recently released KGB files, look at this” he says, handing Oliver a print of a round object in the sky over Moscow.

As the car pulls up opposite the gates of GORKY PARK and all five of them get out and cross the main road , enter the park .A black Lada estate stops behind there taxi , and the two heavies that followed our party from there hotel this morning get out and run up to them, shoving a gun in Walt and Matts back IVOR Don’t move or this Capitalist pigdog is dead Walt Bascom There’s something sticking into my back Oliver “

Oliver turns around “ leave him alone” and steps up to them, only to have IVORS gun aimed straight at him. Joe shields there secretary behind him, as the other assassin comes over brandishing another pistol. MATT If its money you want then you can have it ,

BORIS We don’t want you to take our alien comrade away from his duty to the supreame soviet, . We have strict instructions that he is to stay with us here in MOSCOW, DO YOU

UNDERSTAND. Oliver Moss steps forward, challenging them and says “ If you put the guns down, I’ll negotiate with your boss, just lead us to him.” IVOR Alright them , we accept those terms, but you go on ahead as we have the guns. BASCOM Addresses his shipmates “ I think we should capitulate with these commie bastards for now guys” and all four are bundled into the two Lada estates and driven off.

George Pravda unloads a fruit and veg stand onto his trolley, kicking the sledge with his boot to line it up. He finishes with Cauliflowers and clips on a harness to start pulling it along towards a suspension bridge. Rinski korsikovs kids run along beside him and say goodbye to the stranded SONTARON worrior. George Pravda “ you know , I once beat President Gorbachov to a game of snakes and ladders and issues him a five year plan for his farmers market. “ Little Sasha Corsicov walks beside him “ Did you George, that’s impressive, especially for a non Terrestial being” George winks at her “ I thought so young miss, these cauliflower are linked to that game I played back in 1985. It was a traditional soviet five year plan with a twist we called PERISTROICA dear. See you tomorrow.

Sasha lets him go on ahead, pulling his sledge behind him.

Two cars speed through the back streets of MOSCOW and after a short while park outside the back enterance to COMRADES NIGHT CLUB. Oliver and his team are ordered out of the cars ushered at gun point into the large back door and up the steps to an office. Vladamier is waiting for them, and they are made to sit on a sofa before his large mahogany desk and office chair.

Vladmer brings his seat around and faces them before perching on the edge of his desk. OLIVER Can I presume you are in charge of these henchmen. Why are you accosting American citizens at gunpoint? Vladamier I am the one asking the questions, Mister Moss please relax and I’ll get Helga to mix you a drink. Helga comes in with a drinks trolley and offers them “ what would you like” Walt bascom shouts, “ you expect us to want a drink at gunpoint, do you commie bastard.

VladaMIER WALKS OVER TO HIM and bends down, so his face is near and asks “ why are you tracking down a hero of the revolution, that is under my protection, . You are not leaving until I get an answer. “ Boris is still by the door , brandishing an automatic pistol. “ I don’t want to use this but I could get away with it if I did, so be a good yanky and tell my Boss what he is asking. Joseph Cap threatening a Senator” he points to Walt, “ and four American Citizens will cause a major political incident.

Matt This alien from outer space is wanted back by his own people and we are here to get him to a rocket on a launch pad in LATIN AMERICA, is that explination enough. Vladimer walks back and forth in front of them. “claiming to be in contact with aliens could get you locked up in a sanatorium but it won,t get you my trust. I want George Pravda where he is , keeping us aware of why we are here. My brother was in supreme Soviet with George before USSR was dispanded. Walt, however patriotic you are Sir, this goes beyond Earth , to a struggle for power between this aliens Sontaron race and there rival empire played out in our galaxy. Our government are not taking any sides or making policy here , so it is up to us to see this situation on a Galactic scale.

Vladamer shakes his head and goes over to a window and pulls up some blinds. “ this is what I care about, right here, these young people enjoying themselves downstairs.”

From his office window , Vladamiere can see down into the bar in front of the dance hall of his night club. Its early evening and it is already full of people enjoying themselves.

Matt If you let me use one of your computers I can prove what I am saying, Vladamier George has accepted his fate Mr Houston, he will not see another of his kind, and neither will we. There are still government research projects that have asked me to keep hold of him. But I’ll let you state your case. Vlad’s security guard holsters his gun, and goes out for a moment. He returns with a laptop which he gives to his Superior. “VLADAMIERE If you would come to the desk,then and prove that you have a bigger claim on this man” he says to matt. Dorathy hands matt her filofax and he goes over to the desk and sits down behind the raised blinds . From here I can get remote access to the FOUNDATION mainframe which is linked to his network over in TEXUS. THE SCREEN IS REPLACED WITH A SWIRLY pattern, and then a graphic of a star field. “ this was picked up by an astronomical satellite dish in Chelmsford 6 months ago. On the screen a large round spaceship crosses the screen and Matt freeze frames. “ Joe can I have those print outs from Moscow museum you and Dorathy printed this morning please.” Joe gets up from the couch, and comes around the desk with printouts and places them in front of his collegue. Matt holds a picture up to the monitor and says “ as you can see , there is a match with this picture of an Unidentified object seen over Moscow seventy five years ago. What do you make of it.

, Vladamiere examins and compares the two.

VLADAMERE It is true as you suspected that this picture does show the forced landing of Georges spacecraft . I only know because I’am his manager. MATT But you must see that this is a match with that landing, and I have experts that say that this starfield is unknown. It comes from a completely different star system to our own.

He then calls up a note from Pancey and the flower bed on the planet CLANERIA X.

MATT This is where that spacecraft came from, and they want him back as there planet is threatened by a rival race of beings

MOSS that’s right Vladamere, the girls of Claneria X have broached a deal with the Sontarons for there missing comrade in return for protection from another alien race which threatens there sector of space.

Oliver comes over “ this is not cold war diplomacy Comrade, it’s about a chance to forge a link with another world.

Vlademire, straightens up from studying the readouts from the laptop and asks for Walt, Joe and Dorethy to come over. “look at whats going on downstairs” They see revellers dancing to music You can have comrade Pravda if he accepts you, though he is a prize position of Russia and considered a hero of USSR.

All Five are escorted downstairs to back of club and ushered into the two LADA ESTATES . There is a chill in the evening air and windshield is misting up while the engine heats up. Oliver is comforting Dorathy, or maybe it is the other way around as the cars speed up into a min highway into the city.

Joe cap says “ that’s the closesed I want to get to a Russian gangster this millennium ”

So our FOUNDATION disembark and walk over Gorky Park Bridge ,where the first market stall they come to is a fruit and veg stall owned by GEORGE PRAVDA. Rinski Corsicov and his Daughter Lucy are at the stall as we get there.

Walt Bascom is the first to great the alien “ greetings and salutations from the people of earth MR Pravda, we are a private consortium here to get you back to your people.”

George laughs in a low grunt saying “I have resigned myself to accepting my comrades as my people , and if I did get back it was to happen with a COSMANAUT in Russian space program. What are you offering me.

MOSS We have picked up messages from space asking us to get you into a fixed orbit for retrival by one of your SONTARON BATTLEFLEETS and I have clear passage down across the black sea to BELEROUS, AND THEN A Short plane ride to England.

George Pravda “ I sent a message before I crashed landed 75 years ago on a frequency my people would have intersepted. They have been transmitting since that time but would not reveal themselves to the masses of this planet. To do so would be a Galactic treaty violation. So you could say that I have been expecting you. You had to come from one of the modern radio telescope deciphering projects recently set up globally. OLIVER I believe I can get you into space for a rendezvous with your battle fleet if you take a chance with us. PRAVDA I have always said that if i had a chance of going back to my people I would take it, so I accept your terms. besides , being an honorary Russian it would be nice to spend time with there rivals on this planet before I leave. JOE It’s a long drive to the black sea , and by then we will have confirmation of a ship to take us and our patient over to Belerous and then to England. OLIVER From there we wait to get clearance for a pick up either from earth orbit or by tracking a signal from a space capsule we have designed for you. Until that is finalised you are to be my guest at my ranch in TEXUS. PRAVDA I have to get my power pack from home and then I shall come. But the most important thing is to offer my good friend Rinski here” he says pointing to the father and daughter over buy the clothes stand opposite “ this Cauliflower and cucumber stand and to say goodbye.“ There are storm clouds gathering and it looks like rain as the large Sontaron waves to Rinski. “ I have a surprise for you comrade and you are going to like it” Rinski and his daughter come over and are introduced to our founder and his party. PRAVDA I have had the call Rinski, and I must join my people, you and your family can take the stand tomorrow i’ll show you my lock up. RINSKI Why George that would be an honour, we wont let you down and will give you your percentage now your retiring. WALT Hey guy’s maybe we can invite these nice muscovites over to the launch day, ever been to south America then “. PRAVDA I shall not be returning comrade, this is my last day here in MOSCOW. Let’s just say I’m going on a long journey. RINSKI I always new there was something different about you George, but we are so multicultural now I never asked you where you came from.

MOSS When can we collect you GEORGE, we want out of her already, its shall we say been a frightening experience. PRAVDA I’ll see you tomorrow here at noon, and by then i shall have helped Rinski here set up for his first day and shown him the ropes, “ he says pulling the ropes of his cart

over his shoulder. RINSKI now George I sayed I would take over the fruit and veg, and I have a man lined up for it , but I am still a DJ at COMMRADES NIGHT CLUB. Our party watch as George pulls his sledge with the father and daughter by his side taking the produce back to the lock up. OLIVER See you tomorrow George. DORATHY Isn’t that where we have just narrowly escaped with our lives from guys. JOE Yes that’s right , so that’s how that local bigshot keeps tabs on George, he uses one of his DJ’s. WALT If he takes over the market stall he can spin disks in a night club and spy for his boss, he’s helped us out. Lets get back to the hotel its been a trying day and its getting cold out here. DORATHY I’ll call a taxi.

At a used van dealers, Sparky is negotiating with a young salesman for a minbus. SPARKY This is a party of seven , man and we want to get to Belarus without being stopped by the KGB

[You yanky’s carrying contraband then.}

SPARKY No we are legitimate, but one of our group has a condition named Water on the brain spreading all over his body, needs medical help over in America and we don’t want to be held up. It’s a vital mission of mercy so please try to be as quick as possible.

SALESMAN Ok then its a deal , but I need to know when the rest of your group shall arrive.

Sparky walks back along the path of used cars and walks to the side of the wire fence out of earshot and phones Oliver,

[i’ve got a good ship ready to go boss , so what’s your eta hear.] OLIVER In two days we shall be with you Sparky, our comrade has agreed to come with us despite Russian reluctance to let him go.

SPARKY I hear there where some complications boss OLIVER If you call being kidnapped by Russian mafia a complication then yes, and it took all of our persuasive powers to get out of there with an agreement. Listen mate, i’ll see you back at the hotel, and have a big van as our Mr Pravda has a power pack from his space craft to come. At twelve o’clock the next day they collect George from Gorky Park where he is showing his successor how to set up the market stall. DORATHY Time to say your goodbye’s George and come with us. The sooner we get you back, the sooner our contacts can signal your battlefleet. JOE It’s not till then that we can program your flight, and know for sure if they will pick you up from earth orbit. George kicks his sledge and hands over the rains to Rinski, saying [ best wishes comrade, I will not forget you ] and rinski gives him a picture of his family. RINSKI Don’t you forget us now George you won’t authorise your battlefleet to sterilise the planet will you George “

Pravda i’ll hang it over my suspension pod when i join my brother sontarons.And With this good intension and potential for the human race it would not be in the Galaxy’s best interest to conquer you. He joins the foundation party and climbs into the back of the bus carrying his power pack in a large breafcase. OLIVER It’s been fun Rinski, frightening it times but fun anyway. BASCOM ME a presidential candidate Kidnaped a gunpoint, i could tern this into a

political scandal. MATT Listen guy’s you are invited to the space launch of George here from the ESA base in French Giuana, when we have worked out the details, it should be in the next six months. RINSKI We have never even left the home country before, that would be out of this world. Sparky drives away leaving the Russians waving behind them. JOE that little Russian girl had a point though, you are known as a military race, we here from our contacts. PRAVDA Your reasurch and development potential makes you too important to try and conquer comrade, you’ll have to trust me.

After a five hour drive the group makes it to the customs at Belarus without obstructions from russian authorities. Putting on a disguise of doctors with a very sick patient as they bundle him into a waiting taxi, from where its a short ride to the airport. JOE CAPP You are to be a VIP in England when we get there, and I shall be delighted to show you around, London, and our main office in Bath. PRAVDA I’ve been on this planet for 75 of your years gentlemen, and have seen generations of you earthlings. I’d given up hope of a rescue , but now it’s happened I can’t wait to get back to my Worriors and the 9th Battalion. OLIVER This is the most overpopualated country on our planet, and we avoid tactile contact on main roads. I think an excursion down Oxford street for the xmas rush, followed by a tour of Bath would be appropriate. Then it’s over to European Space control in French Giuana for a launch on xmass day. The foundation members and Panarama chemicals staff working to make it all possible shall adore your farwell tour. When the taxi drops them off outside airport SPARKY hands our alien a long trench coat and dark glasses. PRAVDA Being a high ranking party member and able to snap your arms off made me accepted in the fruit and veg market comrades, but away from Moscow it’s best I keep a low profile. JOE CAPP We thought the same way George, lets try to avoid scaring the natives. They enter through the main doors and Oliver asks Dorathy to check in while they get to a bar. MOSS Take off Should be two hours from now and we’ll land at Heathrow at2200. Joe has taken on the diplomatic role keeping our guest informed of the schedule and when they pass check in he says “It will be dark by then and you wont attract too much attention. “ Walt Bascom is next to him directing them to a bar for much needed refreshment after a stormy ride over the black Sea. “ we can talk in here Gentlemen, and plan getting you into a stable orbit around Mother earth, comrade. They make there way to an alcove seat while Oliver gets the drinks in and sit down either side of George Pravda. Joe and Dorathy arrive with tickets and she goes over to help her Boss. As they get to there seats they are surprised when a man comes over and says to George “the red cow flies tonight” and gives him a secret hand shake, to which George reply’s “but the ice is slippery”. PRAVDA This is agent xxx of the KGB comrades and it seems he has tracked me down. AGENT Xxx Are we going to be invaded by Sontarons or not is the reason I’m here. I know aLL about you and have authority from my government to see that this is not leaked to the international news agencies. Just then Oliver comes back from the bar carrying a tray and take his seat next to his comrades. “ I have had a message from my agent with European space command in Giuana , and we have a launch on there AREAN 5 space rocket scheduled for next month. PRAVDA Best news I’ve heard since I agreed to come with you Oliver. OLIVER So I would be pleased if you would come to my ranch in Dallas as my guest until take off. PRAVDA Pleased Oliver, I’d be delighted . It would give me a chance to see how it’s

done in the Capitalist West before I leave for a life of military command. WALT Outer space military command eh comrade . PRAVDA That’s right Walt” he says knocking back a vodka “ Pull up a chair agent xxx, rest your plates and I’ll calm your fears of my people. We are a clone species with advanced weaponry and could over throw your combined nations , but I have to make a positive report. He pulls out a picture of him smiling with Lucy Corsicov and her father on his market stall and hands it to the agent “ this shall be a favorable report to my HIGH COMMAND stating that your race is heading for a bright future with tremendous advances in science on the way.

AGENT Xxx “ we have always valued your input in the supreme soviet George, and our scientists wanted to keep an eye on you for longer” George PRAVDA Cosmic diplomacy is bigger than both of us , and I am to be a political porn in the struggle with a Ruton battlefleet massing near independent systems. WALT Even in America more than anywhere , if it where to put out positive comformation of alien contact, it would produce a high level of hysteria. We don’t want this scandal any more than Russia does. Oliver sips his gin and says “ there should not be too much panic over our friend George here. Besides we at the foundation think he is great for our image “ Walt oh you would have him as a mascot if you could , and I can only give you so much support” he says wagging his finger at him. Agent xxx of the KGB gets up from his seat and bits farwell to George. George rises and gives the old Russian a hug Xxx Have a safe voyage George, The Soviet union is proud of you. And remember the red cow flys tonight

George but the ice is slippery

WE talk to our Sontaran who has been rescued from Russia by our founder, before he is blasted off into orbit.

GEORGE PRAVDA

THE WEAKNESS OF YOUR SPIECIES MAKES YOU FRIGHTENED OF EACH OTHER TO THE POINT OF PARANOIA . As I walked down oxford street I could see how happy the citizens of earth seam on the run up to xmass, but that hides the anxieties within.

REPORTER What hope have you got for us earth people as a spiecies then mr Pravda. PRAVDA Inevitably our races will meet in the stars one day, your sensitivity and intelligence is admirable but in the time I’ve been here it has made me glad that I’m a Sontaron. We are made of stronger stuff. Thanks George and best of luck with the launch this xmas. REPORTER Jefferson Davis Hogg

Oliver and his party make the journey to Dallas without further incident and SPARKY flys George , Dorathy and our leader over Dallas to land back in Palastine and there Seabreeze achers ranch. From the sky the outbuildings all carry foundation logos on there roofs, • You don’t get out for nought Where there’s much theres brass OLIVER Each year I let new teams add a logo to the one you see below, hoping to increase our popualarity and influence. The Helecopter flys down and lands in front of there house, and all four disembark. OLIVER Let me give you the 10 Cent tour George and then you can settle in. We have stables to the west of the house and hay barns next to them .

George That’s fine Yankee , first I must recharge using this power pack. He indicates a metal box that they have brought with them This must be installed in my new quarters immediately. Alright then lets get you inside I cant resuscitate a dieing Sontaron. Can that box work on 110 V standard George, or do you need a converter.

AFTER Joe has waved goodbye to Dorathy, Matt, Oliver and there alien guest he collects his yellow fibreglass sports car from heathrow car park and guns the engine into life and points the car in the direction of the M1 to take him north and back to the foundation HQ in Bath. there is catching up to do since his assignment in MOSCOW and he must check on histhe Trafalgar gang. When he gets to Bath town centre he skirts the shopping plaza and drives to his house in Russell square. His young ozzy wife’s car can be seen in his garage and he parks the kit car in front. Charlein is in the kitchen as he walks through the front porch of his semi,

Joe bound up to her and lifts her into his arms . CHARLEINE I’ve bought you this lovely backwards alarm clock from Ramsey street. Joe i don’t need an alarm clock from Sydney, kryten unpack Rachel and get the puncture repare kit. And he attempts to carry her along the narrow passageway to the foot of the stairs. “ i’ll check in with Stringfellow and the trafalgar gang later”