focus on the felony

8/3/2019 Focus on the Felony

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2003 W.D.Kennedy 41 Birch Road Malvern PA 19355 610-695-9419 [email protected]

wo days before Christmas and all

through the village

Yellow Springs stores had

endured endless pillage;

Customers clamored with goodcheer and pluck,

But some saddened shoppers were just out of luck.

I had one on the shelves yesterday, but someone musthave bought it, apologized the ever-helpful UlyssesMyekomend from behind the counter at the GeneralMerchandise.

Wendell Wright was annoyed at himself. I should have

gotten it earlier. Anywhere else I might look?Gee, I dont think too many stores carry the Dandy Tools

Doubloafer 2000, Ulysses answered, referring to the unique,two loaf breadmaker.

Wendell couldnt hide his disappointment. Miranda and Ireally love our single loaf machine, and I wanted to buy theDoubloafer as Mirandas Christmas present so we could maketwice as many loaves at a time.

Well, take a look around the store I bet you can find

something else. But as for the Doubloafer 2000, you cant earn,beg, borrow, or steal one, Ulysses joked.

Wendell settled for a bathrobe and imitation Frenchperfume, Eau Dear. He snuck the gifts into the house thatnight. Their home was beginning to fill up, what with thewelcoming of their nephew Nathan on his college break. OnChristmas Eve, Nathans parents would arrive in YellowSprings for the Wright family's gathering. For over two

TBill Kenned


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centuries, the fieldstone farmhouse has hosted Christmasdinner for countless rude or civil Wrights.

Usually, some Wright diaspora found holiday shelter in thehomes of Wendell's local siblings. Wendell's sister Wilma had

tidied her family's office/guest room and sheeted the sleepercouch for some returning relatives, but their brother, Will, hadnever responded to Wendells efforts to organize who wouldstay where. Which is how Nathan and his parents were slatedto stay with Wendell and Miranda. Wendell didn't mind thecompany, but he was mildly perturbed about his brother's non-responsiveness.

"Don't be so harsh on Will," Miranda soothed her husbandin the kitchen early on Christmas Eve morning. "They sayWill's been awfully busy in his practice lately."

"Busy?!?" Wendell snorted, "In a small town, it takes twolawyers for either of them to cause trouble! Here, all Will hasto do is slap together an occasional estate plan or pretend toread the boilerplate in someone's home sale contract. Let's faceit, Miranda: it hasnt been just 'lately'. The last time Will wastuned in to anything other than his own little world was ourFourth of July picnic over at Nickelnecker's Pond. Since then,he's been out of it!"

When you've been married twenty-two years, you knowwhen to back away from an unnecessary argument, so Mirandasipped her coffee and perused the morning paper. She wassurprised when nephew Nathan staggered bleary-eyed into theroom nearly an hour before sunrise. She remarked, I thoughtcollege kids slept til noon.

I wish I could, Nathan yawned, but Ive been on theSecurity Patrol so long, I cant sleep past six.

Its in your blood, Wendell grinned. Im impressed thatyouve stuck with that. Its not easy to make rounds everymorning while the rest of your classmates sleep.

Nathan shrugged. Gotta make tuition.Miranda nodded. Any interesting calls this semester?Nathan shrugged, A few. He recounted a few colorful

college calls he had handled. How about for you?

Wendell raised an eyebrow. Here? I think the biggestchallenge for law enforcement was convincing the Council notto abolish our humble little force in next years budget.

They wanted to close down the police force?

It was Mirandas turn to shrug. Cost-cutting was acampaign issue in the elections. But I think were okay now for

another year.But if not for you, who would be out there, fighting

crime?

Miranda poured a fresh cup of dark roasted Kenyan coffee.Conestoga County isnt exactly the hotbed of wrongdoing.

How many are on your force?

Miranda added a dollop of half-and-half to her coffee andanswered, Well, there's the two of us," Miranda pointed toWendell, "plus our part-time boss, Zirchen Caesar."

Wendell reflected, "I think we spend more timeinvestigating non-crimes than actual felonious conduct.

Nathan smirked, You mean, like, retrieving cats in trees?

Miranda tossed a playful potholder at her nephew. Morelike helping people get back into their car when theyve lockedthe keys inside."

Or responding to a half dozen false alarms everyweekend, interrupted Wendell. Lord help me, if I have to


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check out Felix Flegelhoffers Fair Value one more time.his voice trailed off.

Nathan asked, So what was your most unusual case?

Warren burned his tongue by slugging back the steaming

coffee too quickly. Miranda handed him a quick glass of water.Most unusual case? Hmmm," she said with mock drama,"probably the case of the frozen freighter."

Nathan laughed, Frozen freighter? What was that?

Warren chuckled, We got a call one day from the stationmaster over at the County rail depot. A bum hopped a ride on afreight train, just like in the old days. They found him in a boxcar, but he must have been holed up in a refrigerator car beforethat -- he was nearly frozen to death.

Miranda remembered, We never did find out what he wasdoing in the fridge car.

We never figured out who he was, either. He's listed as aJohn Doe on the hospital records, although Aunt Miranda and Ijust referred to him as Scarface because he had a healed cutrunning down one side of his mouth. He wasnt from aroundhere.

How'd you know he wasnt from around here if he didnthave any identification?

Warren and Miranda shared a knowing smile. This isnt

the city. Around here, people know each other.

The chirping phone interrupted their discussion. Mirandaanswered it. Hello? Oh, hail, Caesar, she wryly joked.What? Where? But arent you on duty today? Okayyyy, so I suppose you'd like us to handle it instead? Fine.Well be right over there.

Duty calls? asked her husband.

A curious finding in the cold room over at DauerdittersDesserts, she introduced. "And our noble 'Chief' thinks heshould stay in the village to patrol the shops during this 'heavyshopping season'."

Wendell wondered, "But its Christmas week -- isn'tDauerditter's on shutdown?"

Yep, Miranda remembered, Everyone except sanitationand maintenance crew. Theyre working to clean out thefreezer.

Why don't they just unplug it and open the door for a fewhours? Nathan asked, thinking about defrosting his familysicebox.

Wendell explained, Dauerditters Desserts is the frozenfood plant. They make cakes and pastries six days a week,twenty-four hours a day."

Miranda continued, "I used to work there during summersand college breaks. Trust me, this aint no kitchen Frigidairewere talking about -- it's about fifty feet wide, forty feet high,and probably two hundred feet long." To her partner, Mirandachided, "Come on, slow poke. 'The game is afoot!' Nephew,you're on your own for a little while. If you run into anytrouble," she joked, "just call the cops."

In the car as they neared the industrial plant, Wendellmused, "So what's in the freezer that doesn't warrant ZirchenCaesar? A right-side-up upside down cake?"

Miranda slowed slightly as she bumped over railroad tracksand turned to the food factory. "He said it was some kind ofcrate."


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Plant manager Bert Brubaker met them at the front door."Mornin', Wendell, Miranda. Sorry to bother you, but I wasn'tsure what the protocol for this kind of thing is."

"What kind of 'thing' are we talking about?" Wendell

asked."Well, I got a call from Horace Himmelglump, my

Sanitation and Maintenance Manager. His crew foundsomething unusual in the freezer. You remember how duringshutdown, we raise the temperature and send our boys in withpicks and high-pressure hoses to get rid of the built up ice andfrost. We spent one week completely defrosting the wholeroom, then, beginning the day after Christmas, we go in andlubricate those huge carousel conveyors, give everything the ol'once over, make any repairs, cool her back down, and she's

good to go for another six months.""And the crate?" Miranda politely prodded.

"Oh, right. The crate. Yes, well, our boys were blastingaway in there with those high pressure guns, knocking off icechunks as big as boulders, when they found the chunk they'reshooting at, down on the floor over in the corner behindcarousel number six at the far end, well, that chunk just won'tbreak down."

"And it turns out to be a crate," Wendell deadpanned.

"Bin-go!," came the reply, oblivious to Wendell's sarcasm."Size of a footlocker, but heavy as a pregnant panda! Took fourmen to slide it across the icy floor out into the main freezercorridor where we got a forklift under it."

"It's not a one of your boxes, " Miranda surmised.

"Nope. But when we scraped all the ice and snow off, wesaw it might have the owner's name on it. Or at least theinitials, which is why I thought we ought to call you folks."

"What initials are on the crate?"

"X-S-O-S," Bert answered meaningfully.

"XSOS?" Wendell repeated without catching it.

"No," Miranda interpreted, "X, S, O hyphen S."

Wendell got it now. "Ohhh. As in Xavier Saran Oxthorn-Swench."

"Double bingo," Bert nodded.

Xavier Saran Oxthorn-Swench, the inventor of transparentplastic food wrap, died last summer. He was rumored to befabulously wealthy. The elderly bachelor outlived everyone onhis branch of the family tree, but there were literally dozens ofoffshoots from his siblings and cousins, most of whomexpected to inherit small fortunes.

Bert led the two officers to the ice-encrusted containerresting outside the cavernous cooler inside of which workmenin hardhats and insulated arctic suits continued the assault onthe slowly thawing ice. Miranda wondered aloud, "So whowould put a crate belonging to Xavier Oxthorn-Swench in thefrozen foods freezer?"

Wendell added, "And what's in this crate to make it soheavy? Here, give me a hand," he motioned to his wife. Usinga pickax, they worked to open the top.

"Heck," Bert joked as they applied the leverage, "it's soheavy, it might be filled with concrete."

As the lid creaked open on its hinges, Miranda gave a lowwhistle. Wendell's eyes grew wide as he saw rectangular flaxenbars lying in the blue velvet lined box. "A little more valuablethan that, Bert. This here's a gold vault."


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Jeweller Philo Au'rich met the Wrights in Bert Brubacker'soffice. After inspecting a few of the gleaming bars, hepronounced, "they're the real deal. London Good Delivery."

"Come again?"

Au'rich explained, "Gold bars come in many differentweights, but the most common investment bars are calledLondon Good Delivery. Each one weighs roughly 400 TroyOunces, which is about twenty -even pounds."

Wendell did the math, "Twenty bars, twenty-seven poundseach -- that's five hundred and forty pounds of gold!"

"How much is this worth?" Miranda asked.

"The spot price is hovering around $400."

"A pound?" Wendell asked.

"A Troy Ounce," Theo corrected. "So 400 Troy Ouncestimes $400 an ounce times twenty ingots is."

"Three point two million dollars of gold," Mirandacalculated.

"Wow! Wendell shuddered. Then he reflected, Now, whohas access to the freezer?"

"Pretty much anyone in the plant, I suppose, but except forshutdown, you wouldn't go in there. You see, our products goin on the conveyor belts and come out the other side, deep

frozen. We keep it at minus twenty degrees, so you have towear those big arctic suits and thick gloves. Only time anyonewould go in would be if there was a problem with one of theconveyor carousels."

"Or to hide a box of gold," Wendell observed.

Bert offered, If you want, I can check with Horace and seeif anyone had to go in there since last shutdown. For safetyreasons, the production lines stop automatically when you openthe freezer door.

"No need," Wendell answered. "I think the crate was placedthere at the end of your shutdown last summer."

Bert was bewildered. "How do you know that?"

"Well, if it had been in there before the summer shutdown,

you would have found it then."Miranda added, "And over in the corner where the crate

was, the floor was dry and clear, but everywhere else, the floorhad a layer of frost or ice. That suggests the crate was placed inthe freezer at some point before any frost formed."

Wendell recalled, "Xavier Oxthorn-Swench died over theFourth of July holiday week. I remember talking to my brotherabout it at our family picnic. And isn't that the week whenshutdown begins every year?"

Bert nodded, "Sure is."Wendell continued, "So within days of Xavier's death,

someone who knew where he kept his gold removed over 500pounds worth and stashed it here."

"So it had to be someone who knew the plant and knewwhen shutdown was." Miranda determined.

"Shoot, between employees, summer help, and countlessschool tours over thirty years, that could be almost anyone inthe county," Bert remarked.

Miranda thought, "But not everyone in the county would beable to get in the building, right?"

Bert was a little embarrassed, "Sorry, but they probablycould. The loading dock out back is almost always open. Evenduring shutdown, we get shipments of supplies by truck andrail. We've never had any problem with security, but ifsomeone really wanted to sneak in, they could."

Do you have people here 'round the clock duringshutdown?


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No we cut back to two ten-hour shifts. Tonight well bedone by five oclock, so the crew can go home and enjoyChristmas Eve with their families.

Miranda concluded, So the plant is pretty much empty for

four hours a night. If you came on the last night of shutdown,before the plant restarts, thered be plenty of time for a groupto sneak in a crate of gold.

Wendell considered, You wouldnt even need a group.With that much time, you could put the box in the freezer, thenload it one bar at a time.

Miranda turned to her husband excitedly, You know Ithink weve just solved the case of the frozen freighter!

What are you talking about? Wendall asked.

Bert, she rushed, those tracks behind the plant howoften do freight trains come by in the summer?

Year 'round, it's the same. Only once a day, about seven inthe morning. I know, because my office window opens on thetracks, and I come in at six.

Wendell realized, So if someone knew the plant schedulewell enough.

Bert interrupted, The shutdown schedule hasnt changedmuch in my thirty years.

then if they had already managed to get the gold out ofXaviers house.

Miranda interjected, And with an empty house, how hardcould that have been?

they could have come over here the last night ofshutdown, slid the box into the freezer, loaded it up one bar at atime, knowing that in the morning, production will start, thefreezer will drop to minus twenty, and no one would besnooping around the inside for six months.

And if our thief was leaving the plant just as people werearriving for work for the early morning shift at seven o'clock,Miranda finished, he might go out the back way and hop thefreighter going by. And the reason he was so cold wasnt

because he was in the refrigerator car, but because he had madetwenty trips into the freezer as it was cooling down to minustwenty degrees.

So the frozen freighter was also the gold thief, Wendallconcluded.

Miranda suggested meaningfully, "I assume your brother isthe executor of Xavier's estate. I think we may need to see theestate plan."

"Right," Wendell agreed. "Would you call Leonard Lenderto see that the bank can safeguard the gold until we can sort

this out? I'll go over to see Will."

Will Wright ran his solo practice from an office on MarketStreet in Yellow Springs. Will practiced civil law, so he andWendell didn't cross professional paths very often. Wendellwaited in the reception area while his brother finished a phonecall.

"He won't be long," predicted Will's secretary, FileneCabot-Nette.

"You may be able to help me while I wait. Is Will theexecutor of Xavier Oxthorn-Swench's estate?"

"Yes -- oh, not you, too," Filene moaned. "It seems alleveryone wants to do is fight about that darned estate."

"That right?" Wendell prodded.

"Well, not everyone, I suppose. Most of the local relativeshave been very cooperative, but the out-of-towners and someof the charities named in the will hired these big-city lawyers


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who come out here and make life miserable. Plus theres been abit of a tiff concerning the whereabouts of Mr. Oxthorn-Swenchs holdings. Will is having a tough time doing theinventory of assets. Its all weve been working on for weeks.

All the Oxthorn-Swenches are in town for a family ChristmasEve banquet, and then theres going to be a conference of allthe heirs the day after Christmas. Its going to be ugly!

Will came out from his office. "Morning, Wendell. Sorry tokeep you waiting. Come on in. What's up?"

Wendell didn't have to be a trained investigator to see howfrazzled his brother was. "Jeepers, Will, Wendell remarkedwith sibling bluntness, You look worse than a bushpig givingbirth!

Will admitted, "We've had a few, uh, problems here the

past few months, and they're getting worse."

"This have to do with Xavier Oxthorn-Swench's estate?Filene told me you were getting heat from the relatives."

"We are," Will confirmed. "The whole affair has strangledme for months." Sheepishly, he confessed, "Perhaps you'venoticed that I've been a bit distracted of late."

Wendell nodded, patiently waiting for more.

"One of the heirs thinks I've undervalued the estate."

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks I've excluded some of Xavier's personalproperty from the collection that gets divided under the will.Look, I know I shouldn't be talking about a client's privatematter, but Wendell, I'm about at my breaking point," Willdespaired. "You see, some of the relatives are threatening legalaction against me, personally. Theres going to be a conferencethe day after Christmas, and if I cant find the assets this oneguy says are missing, Im in trouble!"

"They want to sue you?

"Not just sue me they want to throw me in jail! Wendell,these people think I stole from Xavier!"

"What is it you supposedly stole?" Wendell asked, feeling

fairly confident of the answer."Gold," Will reported. "Oxthorn-Swench invested in gold

ingots. Most were in his brokers vault, but he had onecontainer at home. When I went to do the inventory after hedied, I didnt find it.

Why didnt you call file a missing property report?

Well, by now, of course, I wish I had. But at the time, Iwas sure nothing was missing, that it was all a matter ofaccounting and paperwork.

"But why would anyone think you have the gold?""Because I was the last to see them. Just two days before

Xavier died he called me out to discuss a real estate deal. Wegot to talking, and he took me down and showed me the goldbars. He was very proud of them. I made the mistake ofmentioning that to some of the local relatives after he died, butbefore I knew the gold was missing. They told the out-of-towners, and theyve been all over me ever since."

Well, you can rest a little more easily now. Color slowlyreturned to Will Wrights face as Wendell told him of the

glittering treasure found on the food factory freezer floor.

Miranda and Wendell reunited later that afternoon. Theformer Baptist Church houses the municipal offices, theatre,and the rentable Community Room, which that night was thesite of the Oxthorn-Swench reunion. Downstairs in the police


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station (two mismatched former Sunday School rooms), theWrights heard the holiday festivities through the heating ducts.

Miranda muttered, What a way to spend Christmas Eve.Do the people upstairs know the gold has been found?

Not yet. Some of them dont even know it was missing.Did you find any known heirs on the list of current or formeremployees of Dauerditters Desserts?

A few. Kyle, Althea, Oswald, she said, all from thisarea. Theres even one who worked with me on my summercrew many years ago. I dont remember him, but I rememberthe name. Lars.

For his sake, I hope thats short for something worse.

It is. On the employee list, hes Larson E. Oxthorn-

Swench.Whats the E for?

Eusibius.

I can see why he sticks with Lars.

Does the will have an address for him?

Wendell checked. Yep. And look -- hes out-of-state.

An out-of-state heir who used to work at Dauerditters?You think he might be the one whos been giving Will such ahard time?

Ill call and find out, Wendell agreed, heading over to hisdesk. A few minutes later, he put the phone down andannounced, You were right. Lars is the one whose beenputting all the pressure on Will to find the lost gold.

Well then he probably isnt the thief. The thief thinks thegold is safely stashed away.

Unless, Wendell considered, the bars were insured.Then, maybe, Lars wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

You mean, get his whole share of the estate, including$3.2 million in insurance proceeds, plus keep the stolen bars!Miranda gasped.

Wendell suggested, Lets go see if ol Larson E. Oxthorn-

Swench is at the party upstairs tonight?The Community Room was jammed with three generations

of soon-to-be wealthy Oxthorn-Swenches singing carols andcelebrating the season. There were a few out-of-town Scrooge-looking men in dark suits drinking hard liquor, but otherwise,the family didnt look as if it were fraught with infighting overan inheritance. Local friends greeted Miranda and Wendell andoffered them some of the feast on the buffet table. Somereported they had seen Lars just a little while ago, and othersdidnt know who he was. Finally, it was Orson Oxthorn-

Swench who mentioned, Lars? Isnt he the somber fellowwith the line on his chin?

Miranda mouthed to Wendell, Scarface.

What, is he double-parked or something? Come on itsChristmas Eve, cut him a break! Besides, hes probably outmoving his car anyhow I saw him grab his coat and head outaround fifteen minutes ago.

Wendells eyes widened. In his mind, it all fell into place.He quickly thanked Orson and weaved out of the Community

Room. Miranda was right behind him. Ill get the car, shecommanded, you call Zirchen and tell him to meet us atDauerditters.

They raced towards Industrial Boulevard. Mirandabemoaned, We should have realized that the thief would picktonight to come pick up the gold bars!

I know. The plant will be empty for hours. Over the carradio, Wendell instructed, Zirch, well pull around back; youstay in front in case we can flush him out that way.


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The darkened factory was silent as they crept through theloading dock. Look, whispered Miranda, isnt that a light?There he is! Lets fan out and draw. The couple crept apart.Miranda tapped her toe once, twice, and thrice, then they both

blazed their high-powered flashlights on the icebox door,raised their service revolvers, and without even the slightestirony, yelled, FREEZE!

The police station was crowded an hour later, what withMiranda, Wendall, and Will Wright, Bert Brubaker, ZirchenCaesar, and several senior Oxthorn-Swenches gathered inside.The suspect, Larson E., was handcuffed to a bar bolted to thewall since theres no jail cell in Yellow Springs.

Let me get this straight, Will, Wendell shook his head.Youre telling me that this guy broke into Xaviers home,methodically removed twenty gold bars and you dont thinkwe should file charges?!?

I suppose you could charge him with criminal trespass, butyou cant charge him on a theft offense. You see, legally, whensomeone dies, the property passes directly to the heir.

And so, Miranda tried to follow, even though light-fingered Lars thoughthe had been ignored in the will, and eventhough he thoughthe was stealing 3.2 million worth of

gold.

Will finished, he really wasnt, because under the newwill Xavier wrote just a few days earlier, he specifically left thecrate of gold to Lars.

Youre sure about this, Will? Wendell doubted. Yousure Xavier meant to give this bum that much? Not just onegold bar? Because if Lars took more than the will gives him, Iwanna bust him good!

I understand, Wendell, and believe me, after all the troublehes caused me taking the bars, then accusing me of stealingthem Id like to throw the book at him, too! But you cant.You cant convict someone of stealing what was theirs to

receive all along.

It was after midnight when Wendell and Miranda finallygot back to the house. Nathan and his parents were just gettingback from the Candlelight Service at Yellow SpringsMethodist. Greeting each other, Wendalls sister said, I hearyouve had quite the night.

You heard? What did you hear?

Wilma laughed, I may have moved away, but I still knowhow fast word travels here in Yellow Springs. News of yourgolden frozen food adventure was all anyone could talk aboutat church tonight.

Yeah, Nathan added. Your minister even used it in hissermon!

Really? Wendell was confused. How?

His sister explained, Godfrey said the gift of Christmas --the coming of God into our world -- was a little like thebequests in Xavier Oxthorn-Swenchs will.

Nathan continued, Yeah. Its not something you can earn,beg, borrow, buy, or steal its just something youre given,and you just have to accept it.

Which reminds me, Miranda grinned at Wendell. I cantwait for opening presents tomorrow here, open this now!

She handed him a heavy, gift-wrapped box. As Wendellbegan untying the ribbon, Miranda explained, My spies at theGeneral Merchandise told me what you wanted to get for us.


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Wendell was stunned to unwrap the brand new Doubloafer2000.

You cant earn, beg, borrow, buy, or steal it you justhave to receive it, Miranda said, kissing him gently on the

cheek.

focus on the felony

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