Denial

Denial (noun)

disbelief in the existence or reality of a thing.

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What is denial?

Defence mechanism

Common response to stress, emotional

conflict, anxiety, painful thoughts, and

threatening information

Refusal to admit or recognize that

something has occurred or is currently

occurring; used often to describe situations

in which we are unable to face reality or

admit an obvious truth.

Serves to protect us from things that we cannot cope with

Denial is a form of repression, where stressful thoughts are banned from memory

“If I do not think about it, then I do not suffer the associated stress and don’t have to deal with it.“

Repression and denial are two primary defence mechanisms which everybody uses, and which require a substantial investment of energy

Understanding denial

People in denial still have the truth buried within their heads, but cannot believe that it is the truth even when confronted with it

This is due to the mind in effect rewriting or superimposing a more acceptable reality

Creation of an environment that is conducive to negative outcomes – those outcomes not wanted. We fool ourselves into thinking that we have control over a situation that we really are helpless to affect.

"Every therapeutic cure, and still more,

any awkward attempt to show the

patient the truth, tears him from the

cradle of his freedom of responsibility

and must therefore reckon with the

most vehement resistance."

Alfred Adler

Very difficult to help someone see the truth and to truly believe and accept reality on a long term basis.

Someone in denial simply acts as if nothing has happened, behaving in ways that others may see as bizarre.

Those in denial may be as mystified by the behaviour of people around them as those people are by the behaviour of those in denial.

Has a significant conscious element, where the person in denial is simply 'turning a blind eye' to an uncomfortable situation.

Denial

Projecting

Rationalising

Intellectualising

Comparing

Blaming Blame shifting

Manipulation

Self-pity

Dishonesty & deceit

Justification

Hostility & aggression

Diversion techniques

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Denial is harmful

Denial may be the biggest way we lie to

ourselves. We do more harm than good

when we refuse to accept the truth and

enable maladaptive behaviours and

relationships.

Denying reality enables us to continue

engaging in an unhealthy behaviour (e.g.

addiction) or facilitates the continuation of a

harmful situation (e.g. abusive relationship).

Addiction denial

Simple denial

Someone sees, understands, and knows

that they have a definite problem. When

confronted about the problem they flat

out deny it, knowing that it is true. This

type of denial is outright dishonesty or

lying

…separated into two different categories…

Complex denial

Someone is either partially or totally blind to a problem that they have

This type of denial comes from being 'honestly dishonest' or by blindness to the situation

Through a hundred forms of self-deception, rationalization, justification and excuse making, a person can actually believe that they do not have a problem, when everyone around them sees this is obvious.

Doesn’t automatically disappear once the

person sees and accepts being an addict

It almost always emerges again with a new

and more improved look

Denial in addiction is a complex system;

not just denial of a particular problem

Denial can be on both an intellectual and

spiritual level

e.g. a person intellectually accepts being

alcoholic but doesn’t believe it in his heart.

This is the addict who constantly relapses,

much to the amazement of themselves

and everyone around them.

…Divided into two dimensions

Usually based on lack of understanding, differences in semantics or in definition.

E.g. anyone who still works, supports a family, pays the bills, and lives in a nice house couldn’t possibly be an alcoholic. Here we have a clear problem in understanding

Intellectual denial

Spiritual denial

Is even more difficult to deal with because

it is so hard to see. This level of denial will

lock a person into compliance - blocking

any possibility for on-going sobriety.

One of the major goals in treatment is to

help someone through compliance to

acceptance

This dynamic is a process, not an event:

Even in the most ideal conditions it will

sometimes take months before

acceptance is fully rooted

It is the process of internalizing a new

truth

This is why it is absolutely essential for

long-term therapy, treatment, and support

– to solidify the proper development of

new convictions cultivated in treatment.

Denial, in relationship to the treatment of

addiction, comes in three stages. Each

stage has an intellectual and spiritual

dimension

Stages of denial

Stage One Denial

Stage one denial is when a person truly

does not believe that they have the

disease of addiction. They may accept

being addicted to a particular drug(s), but

still deny having the illness. They also

could deny having a problem with drugs in

spite of overwhelming evidence to the

contrary.

There are many different ways to express

this stage of denial all leading to the same

place. The person does not accept that

they have an illness, which requires

nothing short of total abstinence from all

mind altering drugs, including alcohol, for

its solution.

Stage Two Denial

Stage two denial is when a person denies the need for on-going sobriety support. It represents denial of being powerless. Just because someone agrees to something when treatment is completed, does not mean that they will do it.

It is vital to understand that good intentions in treatment do not guarantee success after discharge. Good intentions are not enough.

The absence of this inner perception

keeps the person in the second stage of

denial.

The real change takes place in the spirit,

not in the mind (understanding). This is

why many people see the recovery

process as spiritual not psychological. It

takes place in the heart, not the head.

Stage Three Denial

Stage three denial is the denial of the need to be willing to go to any length in the recovery process. It is an indicator that other priorities that are more important than the maintenance of recovery.

The commitment to treatment may be strong, but the commitment to its maintenance is weak. This condition will usually escalate over time. It always goes ‘one way or the other.’

Another indicator of the third stage of denial is the rejection of the steps.

Total abstinence from alcohol and drugs will produce sobriety.

Practicing the living principles in the 12 Steps will produce recovery. Sobriety with no recovery will usually lead to relapse; it is only a matter of time.

Confronting denial

Although denial is not entirely voluntary, it is also not entirely involuntary

Opinions and assumptions must be challenged

Need to be questioned why thoughts and feelings are a certain way

Irrational beliefs influencing thoughts and behaviour must be confronted head-on

People are likely to surround themselves

with like-minded people so if something is

being denied, like-minded friends may just

reinforce denial because they may see

things the same way

Group intervention

Step 1 – life story & 60 stories

Collateral letters

Personal eulogy

Mark Lewis