Mentorship Project

Cofidence:Rejection

Coming to terms: 3 keys

• Confidence: self esteem

• Fear: panic, suppression, avoidance, fight and flight

• Rejection: the sting of non acceptance

Defined : ConfidenceConfidence: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. Self esteem: confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.

Defined : RejectionRejection: the action of spurning a person's affections.

Defined : FearFear: an unpleasant emotion caused by a perceived threat of danger, pain, or harm. Rational vs irrational. Fear is a bully.

Facing Fear• feel it, • understand its message,• challenge it with truth,• Accept yourself,• take action and repeat till you are

comfortable

Identity on the rock• English, like a sea ship on the rocks

Identity on “The rock”• Bible, like a house built on the rock

What does God say about you?Ephesians 1:3-6 New International Version (NIV)Praise for Spiritual Blessings in Christ3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[a

] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Hebrews 2:11 New International Version (NIV)11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.[a]

Deuteronomy 31:6 New International Version (NIV)16Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Altogether now: “Fear of rejection”

The fear of rejection negatively affects your confidence.The fear of rejection is an irrational fear that has you convinced that people won’t accept you. This is a very debilitating fear that significantly influences your daily decisions and action. In fact, while under the influence of this fear you will do things differently than you normally would if you didn’t fear rejection. For this very reason, your fear of rejection is likely to impact your career prospects, your relationship prospects, as well as your everyday social interactions.

Fear of rejection : Symptoms

• Symptom 1: An Inability to Share Your Opinion

• Symptom 2: Excessively Copying Other People

• Symptom 3: Basing Your Emotions on Other People’s Feelings

• Symptom 4: Excessive Neediness• Symptom 5: Getting Manipulated and Taken

for Granted• Symptom 6: Feelings of Guilt and

Dissatisfaction

Symptom 1 : Facing your fear• An Inability to Share Your Opinion• Fearing rejection often makes you feel as though you’re

incapable or simply unable to express your own personal opinions about certain things because you fear that other people might disapprove. You lack assertiveness when it comes to your social interactions. You lack courage to speak up and raise a different point of view.

Symptom 2 : Facing your fear• Excessively Copying Other People• The fear or rejection has such a strong hold over your life that you

are afraid to be different — afraid to be uniquely yourself. As a result you end up copying how other people act, talk, and dress. You might even adopt other people’s values and beliefs, and as a result you begin to live this illusory life that has absolutely no basis in reality. You’re consistently wearing different masks to please other people.

Symptom 3 : Facing your fear• Basing Your Emotions on Other

People’s Feelings• Because you fear rejection, you are basing your emotions upon

other people’s feelings, comments, criticism and/or praise. This implies that you have an external locus of control, which means that your entire livelihood, happiness and ful-fillment is dependent on external factors. One day you’re feeling great, and the next day your emotions are spiraling out of control because of how others may have responded to your decisions or actions.

Symptom 4 : Facing your fear• Excessive Neediness• You might not realize this, but your fear of rejection is coming across as

a sense of neediness.• Since you don’t express your own opinion about life and circumstances,

and since your sense of identity rests in other people’s hands, you tend to become very needy. You rely on other people to make you feel happy, you crave positive attention, and you find it extremely difficult to say no.

Symptom 5 : Facing your fear

• Getting Manipulated and Taken for Granted

• Other people can sense that you are needy, and that you seek constant approval. As a result they will either manipulate you for their own purposes, or they will just literally take you for granted. Either way you lose. You lack a sense of personal identity.

Symptom 6 : Facing your fear• Feelings of Guilt and

Dissatisfaction• To live with the fear of rejection, is to live a life of extreme dissatisfaction and guilt.

You’re never truly happy because happiness comes from within, and your happiness is built upon what others do, say or think about you. You don’t feel in control of your life and you feel like a victim. You are dissatisfied with life, but instead of vocalizing it openly, you tend to internalize this sadness and anger within.

Facing your fear: revision

• recognise it/feel it, • understand its message,• challenge it with truth,• Accept yourself,• take action and repeat till you

are comfortable

What does God say about you?Ephesians 1:3-6 New International Version (NIV)Praise for Spiritual Blessings in Christ3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[a

] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Hebrews 2:11 New International Version (NIV)11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.[a]

Deuteronomy 31:6 New International Version (NIV)16Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."