#OUJ3700

Let’s talk about a bank robbery

What can Ben Affleck teach you about strategic communication writing?

OVERVIEWHOW DID I GRADE THIS?

• If you handed the assignment in on time, you received full credit.

• Remember formatting.

• Farkas-something• Your name on every page of the document itself.

• Sending me a word file vs. PDF or direct email

two major issues

Bleed

Lead

Two other things to think about

• Passive

• Look for forms of “to be.”

• Look for “by.”

• Jargon

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

• Remember the notes I talked about in class. I mentioned them for a reason.

• Read copy aloud• First State Bank was robbed this morning.• Was stolen from register.• Witness say

• Diet Coke break

HOW I WOULD WRITE THIS STORY

A suspected bank robber is in jail after an early morning heist in Smithville.

Police believe Ronnie Jones, 38, of Springdale walked into the First State Bank, told the teller he had a weapon and demanded money.

The suspect left with about $10,000 and fled to a neighborhood north of the bank.

An hour later, police found Jones and a sack containing the money.

A judge set his bail at $100,000.

HOW I WOULD WRITE THIS STORY• I wrote 71 words.

• The copy I have you was 141 words.

• SVO writing, passive voice and critical thinking cut the copy nearly 50% without sacrificing critical content.

Proofing theory

• When you review a document, look for one thing.

•Spelling

•Grammar

•Punctuation

•Passive voice/SVO

Mark ragan comma rules

1. If you combine two full sentences with a conjunction, you need a comma. Example: John writes press releases, and Jill writes business blogs.

Mark ragan comma rules

2. If you begin your sentence with an introductory phrase, you need a comma. Example: Although I am adept at writing press releases, I need assistance in sending them out to news outlets.

Mark ragan comma rules

3. If you include a series of nouns in your sentence, set them off with commas. Example: Press releases, blogs and Web content are all useful for your small business.

Mark ragan comma rules

4. If you include extra information, set it off with commas. Example: Bill, who is a pretty decent writer, handles all my business blogging needs.

Mark ragan comma rules

5. If you have a quotation in a sentence, you need a comma.

Example A: Bill told his friend, "Business blogging is all about thinking outside the box."

Example B: "I really need to get this press release sent out," Bill said.

Quiz details

• The quiz will be a week from today in class.

• It will be 20 multiple choice or true false questions.

• Each is worth one point.

• There will be ten sentences to correct for passive voice. Each will be worth two points.