everybody tells me to be myself but i don't know who i am, revised edition

8/13/2019 EVERYBODY TELLS ME TO BE MYSELF BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, REVISED EDITION

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This journey is dedicated to the thirty-four mini-women on the

Tween You and Meblog who shared their stories and questions and

hopes so that your own journey can be real.

ZONDERKIDZ

Everybody Tells Me to Be Myself but I Dont Know Who I Am!

Copyright 2007, 2013 by Nancy Rue

This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook.

Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks

Illustrations copyright 2007, 2013 by Sarah Molegraaf

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zonderkidz, 5300 Patterson Ave. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rue, Nancy N.

Everybody tells me to be myself but I dont know who I am! / by Nancy Rue.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-310-73323-2

1. GirlsReligious lifeJuvenile literature. 2. Self-esteem in childrenReligious aspects

ChristianityJuvenile literature. I. Title.

BV4551.3.R836 2013248.8'33dc23 2012029589

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New Inter-

national Version. . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission

of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations from The Message. Copyright !by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1995, 1996,

2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as

a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor

does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any

otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in association with the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard

Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920. www.alivecommunications.com

Zonderkidz is a trademark of Zondervan.

Editor: Kim Childress

Art direction and cover design: Kris Nelson and Jody Langley

Interior Design: Sarah Molegraaf

Printed in the United States of America

13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 /DCI/ 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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How to Read This BookThis book is jam-packed full with lots of info to help you.

Heres what you can expect:

HERES THE DEAL

Tons of information about why friendship stuff happens

and what you can do about it. This always comes fromquestions mini-women have asked me.

!"#$ &' () *+

Quizzes to help you figure out where you are on things

like BFFs and bullying and cliques. These are the kind of

tests you dont have to study for! And no grades!

!"# !"%&What God says about friendships and the way we need

to treat other people. Youll be surprised what the Bible

says about YOUR life.

YOU CAN DO IT

An artsy-craftsy way for you to try out what youve read

about. And not just you, but you AND your friends. (That

only makes sense, right?)

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!"#$%& ("#$ )%* !#+,-.% /012$

A place for you to fill in some blanks about your own friend-

ship stuffor draw or doodleor even journal if you really

like to write and write and write

Mini-Women Say

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Fun facts to make you feel smarter. (Theyre good

things to talk about when you want to steer the con-

versation away from gossip!)

!"#$ &'(

Things you can do super fast to help you see how all this

friend-information fits YOU.

Lets get started!

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You Want to Come Along?

I have an invitation for you.

If you are a mini-womanthat is, youre a girl between

the ages of eight and twelveyoure invited on a journey.

Its not a trip, because once you set out you wont be com-

ing back. It isnt a vacation either. Even though parts of

it are going to be a blast for you, some of it will demand

hard work. And it definitely isnt a tour. Youll have guides

on this journey, but youll do more than see the sights

and go, How cool is that? Now when do we eat?

I promise you, though, that this journey will be worth

your while, because where were going is a place you

really cant afford to miss out on. Were going

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12

To your true self.

Seriously. This is a journey designed for you to dis-cover the genuine, authentic, unique person you were

made to be when God created you. Its a long one. As a

matter of fact, nobody totallygets there because some

of the things about who you are will change as you get

older. You could actually say that this is a journey of

learning how to make the journey.

So, why would you want to embark (thats a cool travel

word for start out) on such a tough, never-ending road?

Ill let your fellow mini-women answer that for you:

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!"#$ &)(Draw a tiny frowny face next to any of those statements (or

something close to them) that YOUve thought yourself.

If youve had those thoughts or others like them, that

doesnt mean youre a loser. It means youre breathing.

Youre a tween girl, and this is the time in your life whenyoure finding out that

You really arent the same as everyone else.

Not everyone automatically likes who you are.

It can be a bummer because its happening at exactly

the same time that youre discovering how much you

wantpeople to like who you are, especially BFFs (BestFriends Forever), CFFs (Close Friends Forever), and

maybe even, uh, boys. The problem is, theyre trying to

figure out the same things you are. Its a wonder any-

body ever gets there!

But you can. This book is like a travel guide to get you

started on the journey toward your true God-made self.

Its set up to help you figure out who you really-deep-down-inside are

be that person no matter who youre with.

You may be thinking, its easy for meto say you can do

those two things. Im a grown-up, after all. But Im still

on that journey, and although its a lot easier than it used

to be, there are still some bumpy roads and switchbacks

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along the way. And besides, Ive had a lot of help with

this book from mini-women who, like you, are startingout right now and are making progress. Youll see their

absolutely true stories here, and youll know you are SO

not alone.

If you think youd like to come along, lets do a little

pre-journey preparation.

!"#$ &'(When was the last time someone told YOU to just be

yourself? How far up did you roll your eyes?

!"#$ &'(Look at the list on the next page. Draw a tiny smiley face

next to each of those things YOU always, always do.

Circle the thing on that list that YOU most want to be able

to do.

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"HERES THE DEAL ABOUT BEING YOURSELF

How many times have you heard grown-ups say, Just

be yourself? Like thats supposed to prepare you for a

situation where you dont know anybody, or you dont

know what youre supposed to do, or you have that feel-

ing that you are notgoing to fit in at all.

In the first place, what do they mean by be yourself?

Theyre probably talking about a thing called authentic-

ity. When youre authentic

Youre always honest.

You dont pretend to be rich, or way smart about

something, or totally into horses (or whatever every-

body else is into) when youre not.

You dont copy the way other kids dress or talk or

laugh if it doesnt feel natural to you.

You go after the things youre interested in even if

nobody else does.

You make up your own mind by what you know is

good and true.

Easy, right? You just do all that stuff and youre

authentic.

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Uh-huh, except for these questions your fellow mini-

women ask:

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"YOU CAN DO IT

At the end of each leg of your journey (legis another

cool travel word for part) in this book, youll have a

chance to do an activity that will help you get to know

and be yourself even more. On this leg, discover what

you alreadyknow about yourself deep inside by making

a collage. Thats a collection of magazine images (or pho-

tographs, if thats okay with your mom) that you pastetogether on poster board or paper to create one big pic-

ture. Well take it step by step.

What youll need:

a pile of magazines youre allowed to cut pictures

from (Be SURE to ask permission before you start.)

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scissors (or you can tear pictures out.)

paste or glue (Tape doesnt work so well.)

a piece of cardboard, poster board, or paper at least

11 inches by 14 inches

a timer (or just a clock or watch you can see easily)

a quiet place where you can think and spread

things out and not be interrupted (by pesky broth-

ers, nosy sisters, mischievous pets )

How to make it happen:

Set your timer for twenty minutes (or look at the

clock or watch and jot down what time you start).

During that twenty minutes, go through the maga-

zines. Each time you come to a picture or some

words you really like, cut or tear them out. You

dont have to have a reason to choose a picture or

words other than I just like it!

When twenty minutes have passed, put the maga-

zines aside and spread all the cut-out pictures and

words on your paper. Rearrange them, sides touch-

ing, until they create a picture that makes you go,

Thats me! You dont have to be able to explain

why you placed the images that wayit just has to

make you happy.

Glue or paste the images to the paper the way

youve arranged them.

Sit back from your completed collage and gaze at it.

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Rather than looking at each picture and word indi-

vidually, look at the whole collage as if it were onebig picture.

Try to come up with one sentence that describes

the picture. This is a picture of a person who

______________________________.For example:

! This is a picture of a person who is upbeat and

cheerful and loves life.

! This is a picture of a person who likes to be quiet

and peaceful.

! This is a picture of a person who has a lot of dif-

ferent sides to her personality, from totally wacky

to way smart.

If you need help discovering your sentence, think

about

! The colors.Are they bright and wild? Soft and pas-

tel? Black and white? What do the colors tell you

about your personality that you know is totally

the truth?

! The way youve placed things on the page. Is it

neat and orderly? Scattered and happily con-

fused? Does it make a design? What does yourplacement tell you about the way you do things

that is absolutely right on?

! The kinds of pictures you chose. Are they all of

one kind of thing? Is there a huge variety? Are

they in categories? What does that tell you about

your talents and interests and tastesthe ones

you may even keep secret from other people?

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Put your collage up in a place where you can see it

as you continue your journey.

Look at it often. See what more it might tell you. (I

know its weird, but it does kind of speak to you.)

If there is someone in your life who always accepts

you for who you are, ask him or her to look at your

collage and tell you what they see. You still get to

decide if that helps you know yourself even better.

Let your collage help you likethe real you more

and more.

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!"#$%& ("#$ )%* !#+,-.% /012$8

Here are some things you can write down or draw as you

consider that collage of yours.

One thing I see that I didnt know before about myself: __

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________.

One thing I see that is exactly who I thought I was: _____

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________.

One thing I cant figure out about myself is: ___________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________.

everybody tells me to be myself but i don't know who i am, revised edition

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