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TRANSCRIPT
What got you here Won’t get you there
How to choose a life you love
1 © 2014 Lawyers with Purpose, LLC What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Intentions of the day Create the possibility to choose a
life you love and live it NOW
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8:00am – 9:45am Discussion/Work 9:45am – 10:00am Morning Break 10:00am – 11:45am Discussion/Work 11:45am – 1:00pm Lunch 1:00pm – 2:30pm Discussion/Work 2:30pm – 3:00pm End of Day Debrief
Agenda
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People don’t stumble on success; they choose it!
Marshall Goldsmith Author: “What Got You Here Won’t Get you There”
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How did you get where you are today?
Activity 1: Where am I?
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Now that you know what got you where you are,
where do you want to go? What do you choose going forward?
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Where were we just 21 months ago when the WHY program started?
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Mindset § Expectations/Leadership/Contribution
Skill Set § What is Blue?/MIFy™/Reflecting
Goal Set § Future Focuser/Monthly/Weekly/Daily
January 29, 2013 You must be what you want from the world
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How do you/others see the world? § Past experiences/habits/beliefs/bias
Whose Right? § Getting to “and” § WATT™ are they thinking
Conflict Resolution § GoDumb™
June 4, 2013 Whose perspective are you in?
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Thinking vs. Declaring § Idea Focuser
Making ideas real requires action § Implementation Focuser
Progress vs. Transformation § WHY Formula: E2+I2=P3
E2 = Entrepreneur must envision & enroll I2 = Infrastructure must be improving & impactful P2 = Purpose; professionally, personally & profitably
October 22, 2013 Why be in a why conversation?
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R factor question § 3 year/retirement
DOS Analysis § Dangers/Opportunities/Strengths
Eradicating my destructive past § Choosing what stays and what goes
February 7, 2014 Choices
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Goal setting § It’s not about the goal, it’s about who we become in the
process of getting there
§ Areas of life that drive or drain you
June 13, 2014 Becoming 360°
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Choosing a future you love and living it now
Today:
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• Identify new successes inherently set in the future. • How do we derive the benefits of our goals in the
present? • Beware of goal setting for the sake of goal setting.
It must be tied to your purpose! • Beware of perfectionism; being so focused on
doing it perfectly (or a certain way) that you lose sight of what it was intended to do!
Goal setting
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Do you remember The gap?
Concept of Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach
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MANY want to be “liked,” “Admired” & “respected”
and act in a way they feel will get them these.
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Distinction You must focus on your “purpose”
If you do: you will be liked, admired and respected
What purpose (Success) do I seek and how can I choose it rather than
Waiting for it occur (or not) Decide vs. Choose
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• “Decide”
• “Choose”
When you say them, how do you feel about what comes after the word?
What’s the difference?
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Past Based Closes off
Future Based Opens up
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Decide is limited to what you already know (past)
Choosing is limited to what you can imagine (future)
But all we ever have is now (present)
You can’t “Decide” the future, You can only “Choose” the future
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Everyone gets a past, a present and a future. It’s what we do Now that
distinguishes us.
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How can we choose a future we love and derive the joys of it Now (in the
present) Success and joy is not a destination,
it’s a manner of traveling
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How most people operate
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Present Future Past
2. Trudge through past or try to rid “pain” and make present better
1. Look to the past to decide what needs to be improved
No Access to Future
Something New
Freedom cycle – Dan Sullivan
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Present Future Past
3. Utilize effective past in present to get to the future you choose 1. Choose future
“Innovation”
2. Decide what from the past will help you get to the future you choose
5% of the world operates this way
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
The present comes last.
You must first choose your future.
Then look to your past to decide what to utilize in the present.
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Let’s imagine a future not limited by our past!
Activity #2: Beginning My Freedom Cycle
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Now lets look to our past, to decide what to focus on to help
create a future we can begin living now (present)
Activity #3: Progress Focuser
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Now that we have an idea of the future we are creating, how do we
get there? No man is an island.
-Thomas Merton
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What got you here wont get you there
Marshall Goldsmith Hyperion, 2007
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“One of the greatest mistakes of successful people is the assumption:
I behave this way and I achieve results, therefore I must be achieving results, because I
behave this way” Marshall Goldsmith
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Success happens because of our behavior and in spite of our behavior, the key is to know
the difference Marshall Goldsmith
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• How we act – (What does the camera see?) § Do we need “approval of others?” § Do we need to “look good?” § Do we contribute to, withdraw from others?
• How we speak § Do we say “can’t,” but,” “why,” “problem” § Do we say “can,” “and,” “how,” “challenge”
“Successful people believe in themselves and their talents. They see the good in every situation (even bad ones.) They see opportunities where
others see threats.” -Marshall Goldsmith
Our success is dependent on…
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How do we act?
What are our habits?
We succeed by what we do
and…
what we don’t do
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• Do: § Say please and thank you § Acknowledge people § Listen (MIfy™)
• Don’t do: § Interrupt § Be a jerk (short) § Put your needs first § Be late
Goal: I need/want to be nicer
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How we speak
“That’s the funny thing about stopping some behavior. It gets no
attention, but it can be as crucial as everything else we do combined.”
Marshall Goldsmith
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“as we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes
we can make.” Marshall Goldsmith
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There are 20 destructive habits* to our success/joy
* Work of Marshall Goldsmith
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• Winning too much § The need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it
matters, when it doesn’t and when it’s totally beside the point
• Adding too much value § The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every
discussion
• Passing judgment § The need to rate others and impose our standards on
them
• Speaking when angry § Using emotional volatility as a management tool
Destructive Habits
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• Making destructive comments § The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we
think make us sound sharp and witty
• Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However” § The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly
say to everyone, “I’m right. You’re wrong.”
• Telling the world how smart we are § The need to show people we’re smarter than they think
we are
• An excessive need to be “me” § Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who
we are
Destructive Habits
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• Negativity, or “Let me explain why it won’t work” § The need to share our negative thoughts even when we
weren’t asked
• Withholding information § The refusal to share information in order to maintain an
advantage over others
• Failing to give proper recognition § The inability to praise and reward
• Claiming credit that we don’t deserve § The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution
to any success
Destructive Habits
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• Making excuses § The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a
permanent fixture so people excuse us for it
• Clinging to the past § The need to deflect blame away from ourselves an onto
events and people from our past
• Playing favorites § Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly
• Passing the buck § The need to blame everyone else but ourselves
Destructive Habits
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• Refusing to express regret § The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit
we’re wrong or recognize how our actions affect others
• Not listening § The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for
colleagues
• Failing to express gratitude § The most basic form of bad manners
• Punishing the messenger § The misguided need to attack the innocent who are
usually only trying to help us
Destructive Habits
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How do you score on destructive habits?
Activity #4: Destructive Habits Self-Assessment
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What would others say? Activity #5: Destructive Habits 360° Assessment
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What habits or ways of being can you start (or stop) to support
a future you love? Activity: Complete Insights on Assessments
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• Apologize
• Listen
• Say “thank you!”
*Based on excerpts from Goldsmith’s “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”
Habits of successful (purposeful) people*
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Apologizing is the “Magic Move” It allows the past to be Closed
Your decision to leave a withdrawal from the past in the past (not take it with you)
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• Think before you speak • Listen with Respect (MIfy™) • Ask yourself “is it worth it?” (to speak)
Listening Do’s
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• Don’t interrupt (can’t listen if talking) • Don’t finish others sentences • Don’t say “I knew that” • Don’t agree with other person (just say thank you) • Don’t use “No,” “But,” or “However” • Don’t be distracted (multitask or let eyes wander)
Are you disposed to listen? Let’s see?
Listening Don’ts
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• Close your eyes and count to fifty – without any other thoughts coming into your mind
• If you get distracted, start at the last number you remember saying
How far did you get?
One minute activity
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• Who are you most grateful for (Living or deceased)
• Write down who comes to the top of your mind
Would they know you think it?
Thank you
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What is your purpose? What is your Passion?
What do you love to do? Time goes by quickly when doing it.
It’s easy to you. Others regularly comment on it.
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• I need to make $X
• I need to buy a house
• I need to…
We often focus on what we need
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Be careful; “need” is often a “worthy” conversation that we feel
a need to “justify” Any justification required holds you to your past
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• Think of clients who hire/don’t hire you
§ The ones that need what you do often don’t hire you
§ The ones that want what you do are your favorite/best clients
Need vs. Want
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“Need” requires justification “Want” requires value recognition
It’s all in your thoughts Thoughts can imprison you
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Our past (events/thoughts) that hold us back can be eradicated
“Pastacide” – we must separate the pain from the past, by identifying the lesson from it. Once identified, the pain
disappears (Dan Sullivan)
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Beware of activities devoid of energy!
High points in life relate to high energy activities Low points in life relate to low energy activities
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Most interactions in life are people sharing the low energy activities
(Complaining/Judging/etc.) Are you glued to the “news?”
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Where we derive our energy is great insight to our “Purpose”
Where we lose energy is great insight to what stops us from the future we want
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Let’s look at what gives us energy and what takes our energy and
identify how to maximize our high energy Activities Activity #6: Present Focuser
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Today, we focused on you.
Today is already the past What do you choose for your future and what do you
decide to take from today (which examined your past and identified the worthy parts), to your present to have the
future you seek? Activity: What can I be now to assure
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Final Activity My Four Month Focus
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Final Debrief
First (10 minutes) In groups of 3-5, share:
What I expected was…what I got was… What stands out most from today was…
or Share a general comment
Then (20 minutes) Each group will share one (1) with the room
For this PowerPoint email [email protected]
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