Essay 2by Twinkle Mistry

FILE

TIME SUBMITTED 09-MAR-2015 08:07PM

SUBMISSION ID 514565529

WORD COUNT 1508

CHARACTER COUNT 7694

ESSAY_2.DOCX (68.61K)

QM

FINAL GRADE

/0

Essay 2GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1This is coming along very well, with a lot of interesting elements. Give it more edit ing, and andadd to the research. You could add a couple images as well. Work on the opening to establishthe sense of direction and introduce signif icance. The essay could use more cohesion, ingeneral, which will be helped by a more clear opening and making connections back to thethesis. looks like an interesting exploration.

Comment 2could do more with this t it le

Comment 3no need f or this heading

Comment 4comma

Comment 5simplif y the opening line

Comment 6need to do a bit of revision here, but catchy opening

Comment 7you might make these one paragraph

Avoid "Dropped Quotes"Avoid "dropped quotes" by making sure to integrate them into a sentence. Quotes shouldn'tstand alone as sentences, most of the time. Take a quick look at this easy guide:

http://www.bergen.edu/f aculty/ljonaitis/style_dropped_quotations.htm

More on punctuating quotations:

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/research/puncquotes.html

QM

Comment 8work on adding more of a thesis or give your reader a clearer sense of direction. Also discussthe signif icance of this technology and it 's potential impact on society and the economy.

Comment 9than

PAGE 2

Comment 10is this still part of the quote?

PAGE 3

PAGE 4

Add Table/Figure CaptionWhen using visual imagery, such as tables or f igures, in f ormal writ ing you should add a table orf igure caption, and a cross-ref erence in the text. This is so you can show the reader what tolook at within the writ ing.A f igure is any graphic that is not a table, such as a picture, a graph, ora chart. This is advanced technical writ ing, but never too soon to start!

The cross ref erence can be parenthetical (see f igure 1), or written in the text ("As shown inf igure one...").

A f igure is anything that isn't a table (e.g. pictures, charts, graphs). Typically, you would put atable caption on top of the table, while you would put a f igure caption below the f igure.

Here is the f ormat f or MLA: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/14/

Here is an example of a f igure caption in MLA:

Fig. 2. Harry Potter and Voldemort f inal battle debate f rom Andrew Sims et al.; “Show 166”;MuggleCast; MuggleNet.com, 19 Dec. 2008; Web; 27 Dec. 2008.

APA has a dif f erent f ormat f or these, but the same principles apply....

PAGE 5

PAGE 6

RUBRIC: WRITING 10 GENERIC RUBRIC

CLARITY (20%)

SCALE 1(1)

SCALE 2(2)

SCALE 3(3)

SCALE 4(4)

SCALE 5(5)

SCALE 6(6)

SCALE 7(7)

ORGANIZATION (20%)

SCALE 1(1)

SCALE 2(2)

SCALE 3(3)

SCALE 4(4)

SCALE 5(5)

SCALE 6(6)

SCALE 7(7)

0 / 7

0 / 7

CLARITY: The paper addresses the prompt squarely. The writ ing is clear and detailed, allowing f or easyreading. Concepts are suf f iciently explained with detailed examples and illustrations to convey message.

0 / 7

Organization: The paper achieves a logical, thoughtf ul, and easy-to-f ollow structure. There is a clearlyoutlined thematic thread/rhetorical schema progressing cohesively through the paper, utilizing ef f ectivetopic sentences and transit ions to improve organizational f low.

DEVELOPMENT (20%)

SCALE 1(1)

SCALE 2(2)

SCALE 3(3)

SCALE 4(4)

SCALE 5(5)

SCALE 6(6)

SCALE 7(7)

STYLE/FLOW (20%)

SCALE 1(1)

SCALE 2(2)

SCALE 3(3)

SCALE 4(4)

SCALE 5(5)

SCALE 6(6)

SCALE 7(7)

0 / 7

Development: The body paragraphs provide: 1) adequate (quantity and quality) evidence; 2) thoroughdevelopment of key ideas; and 3) advancement of the argument. The writ ing has suf f icient detail to conveymeaningf ul development of the essay arguments.

0 / 7

STYLE/FLOW: The author uses selection of words, construction of sentences, arrangement of ideas, andvaried usage of rhetorical strategies to create engaging writ ing that is appropriate f or the intendedaudience.

MECHANICS (20%)

SCALE 1(1)

SCALE 2(2)

SCALE 3(3)

SCALE 4(4)

SCALE 5(5)

SCALE 6(6)

SCALE 7(7)

0 / 7

MECHANICS: The paper observes standard English conventions in spelling, grammar, punctuation, anddocumentation.