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ENG101B: freshman EnglishLesson 4

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Objectives:Today, you’ll learn how to:

Start an essay (or term paper) with a point.Distinguish what is a topic and a thesis statement.Limit a topic and write a thesis.Evaluate thesis statements.

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What is a thesis statement?

It is the main-idea sentence for the entire essay. It gives the attitude, opinion, or idea that the writer is going to develop in the essay.

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1. A thesis statement must be a complete sentence.

The benefits of the computer. (Not a thesis statement).The computer can help students do research by giving them access to a wide range of information. (Thesis statement).

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2. A thesis statement gives an opinion, attitude, or idea; it should not just announce the topic of the essay.

I am going to discuss the effects of VCRs. (Not a thesis statement)VCRs have increased the choices for viewers by . . . (Thesis statement)

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3. A thesis statement expresses an opinion, not a fact, because facts cannot be argued.

Most aluminum cans have flip tops. (not a thesis statement)Flip tops make aluminum cans hard to open because they . . . (Thesis statement)

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4. A thesis statement is not a question (but will often be the answer to a question).

What are the advantages of credit cards? (Not a thesis statement)Credit cards are convenient because they allow us to . . . (Thesis statement).

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Topic Vs Thesis StatementA subject is often just a word or a term.

A topic is just a statement that merely tells the writer’s general subject, which does not make a point.

A thesis statement, however, MUST make a point about a limited subject. It is the main point you are trying to make, using the best evidence you can marshall. A given assignment may not tell you A given assignment may not tell you that you need to come up with a thesis and that you need to come up with a thesis and defend it, but these are the unspoken defend it, but these are the unspoken requirements of any scholarly paper.requirements of any scholarly paper.

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Example:Subject: EducationA more specific subject: Teachers An even more specific subject: My high school math teacherTopic: I will talk about my high school math teacher.Thesis statement: My high school math teacher was incompetent because . . .

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Writing a good thesisTo start with, you need to limit your subject/topic. Then, you need a subject/topic that is neither too broad nor too narrow.For example, ‘marriage’ is too broad to cover in a 500-word paper. You need to narrow it down until you have a thesis that you can deal with specifically in about 500 words.

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Example:General subject: Marriage

Limited subject: Honeymoon

Thesis: A honeymoon is perhaps the worst way to begin a marriage, because it forces couples to . . .

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Another example:General subject: Family

Limited subject: Older sister

Thesis: My older sister helped me overcome my shyness by . . .

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Yet another example: General subject: Children

Limited subject: Disciplining of children

Thesis: My husband and I have several effective ways of disciplining our children, most importantly, . . .

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Activity: Here are some general subjects. Activity: Here are some general subjects. Get in small groups. Try to limit them and Get in small groups. Try to limit them and then write a thesis statement about three then write a thesis statement about three of the limited subjects. Report to the of the limited subjects. Report to the class.class.

1. Pets2. Teenagers3. Television4. Work5. College6. Cooking7. Money8. Shopping

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Example/ placement

Different Genders, Different Buildings

In most schools, male and female students traditionally live in separate buildings in the hostel. However, some people would challenge this long-standing practice, saying that male and female students should live in the same building, because it would benefit both genders a lot, creating a better understanding of the opposite sex and a more harmonious atmosphere in the dorm buildings.  Although I won’t deny these good points, male and female students ought to live in different buildings for the following three reasons.

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Golden rule 1: Write a thesis statement, not an announcement.

Poor thesis statements:1. The subject of this paper is my parents.2. I want to talk about the crime rate in

Hong Kong.3. The baby-boom generation is the

concern of this essay.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis statements? Can you rewrite them to make them effective?

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Suggested thesis statements:

1. The subject of this paper is my parents. My parents each struggled with personal demons. (vague)

2. I want to talk about the crime rate in our country. The rising crime rate in Hong Kong is primarily caused by . . .

3. The baby-boom generation is the concern of this essay. Through its lavish spending, the baby-boom generation has changed America into a consumer-minded culture.

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1. Which is a better thesis statement?a. This essay will discuss the people

you meet in exercise class.b. The kinds of workout clothes

worn in my aerobics class identify “jocks”, “strugglers”, and “princesses”.

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2. Which is a better thesis statement?a. I made several mistakes in the

process of trying to win the respect and affection of my teenage stepson.

b. My thesis in this paper is relationships between stepparents and stepchildren.

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3. Which is a better thesis statement?

a. A period of loneliness can teach you to use your creativity, sort out your values, and feel empathy for others.

b. Loneliness is the subject of the paper.

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4. Which is a better thesis statement?a. This paper will be about sharing

housework.b. Deciding who will perform certain

unpleasant household chores can be the crisis that makes or breaks a marriage.

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5. Which is a better thesis statement?a. My concern here is to discuss

near-death experiences reported by some patients.

b. There are several possible explanations for the similar near-death experiences reported by some patients.

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Golden rule 2: Avoid statements that are too broad.Poor thesis statements:1. Disease has shaped human history.2. Insects are fascinating creatures.3. Men and women are very different.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis statements? Can you rewrite them to make them effective?

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Suggested revision:1. Disease has shaped human history.

In the mid-1980s, AIDS changed people’s attitude about dating.

2. Insects are fascinating creatures. Strength, organization, and communication make the ant one of nature’s most successful insects.

3. Men and women are very different. Men and women are often treated very differently in the workplace.

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1. Which is a better thesis statement?a. In many ways, sports are an

important part of American life.b. Widespread gambling has

changed professional football for the worse.

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2. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Modern life makes people

suspicious and unfriendly.b. A frightening experience in my

neighbourhood has caused me to be a much more cautious person in several ways.

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3. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Toy ads on television teach

children to be greedy, competitive, and snobbish.

b. Advertising has bad effects on all of society.

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4. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Learning new skills can be

difficult and frustrating.b. Learning to write takes work,

patience, and a sense of humour.

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5. Which is a better thesis statement?a. I didn’t get along with my family,

so I did many foolish things.b. Running away from home taught

me that my parents weren’t as terrible as I thought.

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Golden rule 3: Avoid statements that are too narrow to expand into a paper (dead-end statement).Poor examples:1. The speed limit near my home is 65 miles

per hour.2. A hurricane hit southern Florida last summer.3. A person must be at least 35 years old to be

elected president of the United States.

Tasks: What’s wrong with these thesis statements? Can you rewrite them to make them effective?

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Suggested revision:1. The speed limit near my home is 65 miles per

hour. The speed limit near my home should be lowered to 55 miles per hour for several reasons.

2. A hurricane hit southern Florida last summer. Federal officials made a number of mistakes in their response to the recent Florida hurricane.

3. A person must be at least 35 years old to be elected president of the United States. The requirement that a U.S. president must be at least 35 years old is unfair and unreasonable.

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1. Which is a better thesis statement?a. I had squash, tomatoes, and corn

in my garden last summer.b. Vegetable gardening can be a

frustrating hobby.

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2. Which is a better thesis statement?a. The main road into our town is

lined with billboards.b. For several reasons, billboards

should be abolished.

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3. Which is a better thesis statement?a. There are now more single-parent

households in our country than ever before.

b. Organization is the key to being a successful single parent.

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4. Which is a better thesis statement?a. My first job taught me that I had

several bad work habits.b. Because I was late for work

yesterday, I lost an hour’s pay and was called in to see the boss.

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5. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Americans abuse alcohol because

it has become such an important part of our personal and public celebrations.

b. Consumption of wine, beer, and hard liquor increases in the United States every year.

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Golden rule 4: Make sure statements develop only one idea.Here are three thesis statements that contain

more than one idea:1. One of the most serious problems affecting

young people today is bullying, and it is time more kids learned the value of helping others.

2. Studying with others has several benefits, but it also has drawbacks and can be difficult to schedule.

3. Teachers have played an important role in my life, but they were not as important as my parents.

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Suggested revision1. One of the most serious problem

affecting young people today is bullying.

2. Studying with others has several benefits.

3. Teachers have played an important role in my life.

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1. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Working with old people changed

my stereotypical ideas about the elderly.

b. My life has moved in new directions since the rewarding job I had working with old people last summer.

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2. Which is a better thesis statement?a. The new architecture on this

campus is very unpleasant, although the expansion was desperately needed.

b. Our new college library building is ugly, intimidating, and inefficient.

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3. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Among the most entertaining ads

on TV today are those for mail-order products.

b. Although ads on TV for mail-order products are often misleading, they can still be very entertaining.

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4. Which is a better thesis statement?a. My roommate and I are

compatible in most ways, but we still have conflicts at times.

b. My roommate has his own unique systems for studying, writing term papers, and cleaning our room.

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5. Which is a better thesis statement?a. Although some good movies have

come out lately, I prefer to watch old movies because they’re more interesting.

b. Movies of the 1930s and 1940s have better plots, sets, and actors than movies made today.

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2. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis 2. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis statement, and a supporting sentence?statement, and a supporting sentence?

a. Community colleges are much more affordable than four-year colleges.

b. There are several advantages to attending a attending a community college instead of a four-year school.

c. Community collegesd. Community colleges typically offer

more convenient and more flexible scheduling than traditional schools.

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4. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis 4. Which of the following is a topic, a thesis statement, and a supporting sentence?statement, and a supporting sentence?

a. Readingb. Parents can take steps to encourage

their children to enjoy reading.c. The adults’ own behaviour can

influence children to become readers.

d. Parents can make sure the physical environment of the home encourages reading.

Quiz

Question 1

Which of the following thesis statements is the most appropriate for introducing university students to the topic of “co-ed dormitories” (same-sex hostels) on university campuses?

A

Five Yale University students have had the courage to challenge the rule that requires students to live in coed dormitories, where many engage in casual sex without shame and most use coed showers and toilets. The dormitory environment features the open availability of sex manuals and condoms, and attendance at safe sex lectures is required of freshmen.

B

First came the coed dormitory. Next there was the coed floor and even the unisex campus bathroom. But are colleges ready to embrace the ultimate step in gender blending -- the coed room?

C

It is very common that one goes to study in public classrooms and soon has to retreat because some lovers are billing and cooing on the left of you and on the right of you. This sort of public display of affection is For example,, yet one must tolerate it, for these people are victims of an unreasonable system. Generally speaking, male and female students live in distinct dormitory buildings. More often than not there is a superintendent sitting at the entrance of each dormitory building, ready to catch the “stowaways” at any moment (usually boys who try to sneak into their girlfriends’ dormitory building) The public classroom is one of the few places male and female students are allowed to be seen together. Thus it naturally becomes lovers’ refuge. However, their self-indulgent behavior greatly impacts other students. And the separation of male and female students in the hostels is the root of the problem..

Question 2

Given the following topic, are the position and thesis statement DEFENSIBLE?

 Topic: Book censorshipPosition: Book censorship is not acceptableThesis statement: When books are taken off

library shelves and are dropped from school curricula, students are denied exposure to the interchange of ideas.

Answer

Defensible. Most societies do not accept censorship.

Question 3

Given the following topic, are the position and thesis statement defensible?

Topic: Television  Position: Television viewing is not acceptable

without limits. Thesis statement: Children’s television viewing

should be limited, as this is a passive activity and trains them to accept information unquestioningly.

Answer

Defensible. Although there is no strong scientific evidence that it is damaging to children, the anecdotal evidence suggests that this is true, and there are many more productive things that children can do that will assuredly not have this effect on them.

Question 4

 Are the position and thesis statement defensible?Topic: Drugs and athletics  Position: Drugs are acceptable in athletics Thesis statement: Drugs are necessary in athletic competitions, because without modern medicine, athletes could not perform to the best of their ability.

Answer

Not defensible. Performance enhancing drugs are known to be dangerous to the health of competitors and unfairly disadvantage those who engage in fair play.

(In other words, the thesis does not address the main controversy).

Question 5

Defensible or not?Topic: Diets for weight loss Position: Diets for weight loss are necessary Thesis statement: Dieting to lose and maintain a healthy weight is a key strategy in combating heart disease and other problems.

Answer

Defensible. Although dieting can be dangerous if there is no medical supervision, it is important to keep one’s weight within reasonable limits in order to prevent serious diseases such as diabetes, hypertension and heart disease.

Question 6

Defensible or not? Topic: Grades  Position: Grades are less important than knowledge in university education.  Thesis statement: Knowledge and skills are essential to achieving professionalism; grades are not.

Answer

Defensible. Knowledge and skills are essential to professionalism. Grades are not.