empowering your child presenters ralph whalen & parents november 10, 2009 welcome
TRANSCRIPT
Empowering Your Child
PresentersRalph Whalen & Parents
November 10, 2009
Welcome
Intro
Theory & Class
Parent Q: What good messages..
Messages kids receive
What parents can do
Reasonable Expectations
When to be concerned
HandoutsNext SeminarsEvaluation
Meeting Overview
GoalsConnect with others.
Learn one idea about emotional health that will help you in your family.
Learn from each other.
Conflict within yourself
Pumsy, the puppet
Change the way you feel by changing the way you think
Guidance Topic
Something Bad HappensTo You
Feel Rotten(mud mind)
Is This What Happens?
Something Good HappensTo You
Feel Good
Is This What Happens?
Action HappensTO You
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
BeliefMud MindThinking
Action HappensTO You
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
BeliefMud MindThinking
Action HappensTO You
ConsequenceFeel Bad(In Mud Mind)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
BeliefMud MindThinking
Action HappensTO You
ConsequenceFeel Bad,In Mud Mind
Action By You
(Unhealthy)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action HappensTO You
Belief:Clear Mind Thinking
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action HappensTO You
Belief:Clear Mind Thinking
ConsequenceFeel Good(In Clear Mind)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Action HappensTO You
Belief:Clear Mind Thinking
ConsequenceFeel Good,In Clear Mind
Action By
You (Healthy)
ABC Theory of Emotional Health
Belief:Clear Mind Thinking
ConsequenceFeel Bad,(In Mud Mind)
Solution: Change Your Thinking
BeliefMud MindThinking
Belief:Clear Mind Thinking
ConsequenceFeel Bad,(In Mud Mind)
Solution: Change Your Thinking
BeliefMud MindThinking
Choose Diff
erent M
essage
Table Discussion QuestionIntroduce yourself
What messages have you or your child received that helped shape a positive self esteem?
Pumsy MessagesNegative Messages Positive
I am no good. VS I am capable. I can’t stand it. VS I can handle it.
I must be perfect. VS It’s Ok to make mistakes.
How Do Kids Get Messages?Said to them
Said to others
Observe
Where Do Kids Get Messages?Parents
Siblings
Relatives
Other adults
Other kids
Media
Need to protect younger children from damaging messages.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
What Else Can You Do?Model
Believe in child
Connect Child
Provide opportunities to contribute
Praise effectively
Say “No”
Correct Correctly
Provide Hope
Discussion Question?What are unreasonable expectations for this age group?
Reasonable ExpectationsNo too low
Not too high
Stairs method
Effort, not just outcome
Accept limitations
Partner QuestionWhen do children get in their mud minds?
Emotional Outburst: What To DoListen
Identify the feeling
Help problem solve
Use Clear Mind
Have faith in your child
When To Be ConcernedAvoids tasks or Quits
Makes excuses, cheats or lies
Change in behaviorschool performancerelationshipssleep patterns
Inability to concentrate
Emotionally unstable
Q & A
Handouts
Next Seminar: Wed, Dec 3“Responsibility: Give It To Get It”
Evaluation
Final Steps
ThankYou