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Emotion: How to Use it Effectively in Counseling Slide 2 Slide 3 Slide 4 Slide 5 EMOTIONSEMOTIONS Slide 6 How Do You Deal With Emotions? 1. I fling the door open and let it all show 2. I open the door but keep my hand on the handle 3. I open the door halfway and see what happens 4. I open the door a crackjust to show Im alive 5. I check whos there through the peep hole 6. I keep the door locked and bolted 7. Wheres the door? Slide 7 Our feelings are always with us, but we are too seldom with them. emotions have their own agendabut our rushed lives give them no space Goleman,Daniel (1998). Goleman,Daniel (1998). Slide 8 Men and Womens Brains are Different Men and Womens Brains are Different 1. The amygdala 1. The amygdala 2. The hippocampus 2. The hippocampus 3. The hypothalamus 3. The hypothalamus Slide 9 The Secret Life of the Brain The Secret Life of the Brain We are feelings machines that We are feelings machines that think think The Adult Brain The Adult Brain Slide 10 We Think in Emotional Footprints We Think in Emotional Footprints 2.5 millisecondswe felt something 250 millisecondswe thought about it We then re-filed it under a different We then re-filed it under a different feeling feeling Slide 11 Why is The Identification of Feelings Important? Life DiskTrauma Disk BehaviorsFeelings GAPS Slide 12 Plutchiks Plutchiks Theory of Theory of Emotions Emotions Slide 13 Plutchik: Primary and Mixed Emotions Slide 14 Theoretical Perspectives on Feelings Slide 15 Feelings are windows, although perhaps broken, that give you insight and understanding as to defenses, coping mechanisms, survival strategies and beliefs. Just like a doctor, the pain (emotions), although symptomatic, may help lead you to the underlying cause. Slide 16 Thoughts Feelings Thoughts FEELINGS Feelings THOUGHTS Three Circles Slide 17 Life Circles Life Circles Technique of Arnold Lazarus Lazarus, A.A. (1989). The practice of multimodal therapy. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins. Surface Cliches Facts Ideas Real Self EMOTIONS Nobody Knows Slide 18 Slide 19 Vocabulary of Feelings Slide 20 Different Feelings Slide 21 The Emotions of Grief Slide 22 The Feeling Wheel Slide 23 Slide 24 Slide 25 Feeling Faces Slide 26 Smiley Faces Slide 27 Slide 28 Limitations of Facial Expressions Humans use 250,000 facial signals and 700,000 physical signals when communicating with each other. Often these signals are combined: Illus: Confused Slide 29 Nonverbal Communication Skills 93% of emotional meaning is conveyed without words; 55% through facial expressions, body postures, and gestures; and 38% through tone of voice. 93% of emotional meaning is conveyed without words; 55% through facial expressions, body postures, and gestures; and 38% through tone of voice. Elksnin, Linda and Elksnin, Nick (2003). Elksnin, Linda and Elksnin, Nick (2003). Slide 30 Body-Based Emotional Descriptors Ice in his veins No room to breathe Makes me want to vomit No leg to stand on No intestinal fortitude Pain in the neck Saving face Spineless Galls me Tears me up inside Tight-lipped Blood boiling Heartache Gut wrenching Cant stomach that Cold Shoulder Slide 31 Slide 32 WORDS FEELINGS Slide 33 The Color of Feelings FeelingsUnlimited.com Slide 34 Two Essential Components to Facilitate Change 1. Acknowledgement 1. Acknowledgement 2. Ownership 2. Ownership Slide 35 Creating Acknowledgement And Ownership Slide 36 Slide 37 How We Reject Feelings 1. By DEFENDING or EXPLAINING ourselves 2. By APOLOGIZING before out mate understands we understand the feelings that were shared 3. By ATTACKING our partner with a defense 4. By ADVISING our partner 5. By CORRECTING the other Slide 38 How We Accept Feelings 1. REFLECTINGIt sounds as if you feel 2. CLARIFYINGAre you saying that 3. EXPLORINGIm not sure what you mean