Effective Parenting Skills

Chapter 3

“Wanted – Perfect Parents”

1. What are the qualities of perfect parents?

The Thunderstorm

Child’s Needs: Scenario

As the thunder rolled and the lightening cracked during the night, two-year-old Ian cried out. His mother awoke from her own sleep with a start and quickly ran to his room. She took Ian out of the crib. Holding him close, she carried him to the rocking chair.

She sat down and began rocking, singing softly to comfort him. The storm passed and so did his fears. Soon Ian was asleep again. Once his mother was sure he was sound asleep, she put him back in his crib.

The next morning, Ian awoke as though nothing had happened. He was cheerful and ready to take on the world. His mother gave him a reassuring hug, and he ran off to play.

Scenario Question

• What would you say to a two-year-old who was frightened of thunder and lightning? What about a four-year-old? What about a six-year-old?

What is Parenting?

• Parenting– Caring for children and helping them develop– Meeting child’s needs– When to help and when to back off– Adaptation• As child grows, parent grows

– Avoid pushing• Try activities• readiness

Reasonable Expectations

• “Act Your Age”– Parents don’t always know what to expect.– Match expectations to the individual child.

Find a Comfortable Parenting Style

• 3 main styles of parenting– Authoritarian – Democratic– Permissive

Authoritarian

• Based on the idea that children should obey their parents without question.

• Quick & Firm• Child does what parent says with out

question.

Democratic

• Children have more input into rules and limits.• Child given a certain amount of independence

and freedom.• Within rules.

Permissive

• Parents give children a wide range of freedom.

• Child may set their own rules.

How do people learn parenting?

• High school• Hospitals• Schools• Community groups• Books• Magazines• Family & Friends• Observation

Task of parenting

• 3 basic tasks– Meet basic needs• Food, clothing, shelter, safety, health, language, social

interaction

– Nurture• Giving a child opportunities for encouragement and

enrichment.• Parents first teachers• Give children the freedom they need to learn

Cont.

– Guide children in appropriate positive behavior• Communicate positively• Use words child can understand• Be clear. Don’t confuse.• Be positive and polite.

– “Please, Thank you”

• Give praise and love.

What skills can children develop by playing with these things?

Review Questions

1. Where can people take courses in parenting?School, Hospitals, Community groups

2. What are the three tasks of parenting?Meet basic needs, nurture children, guiding behavior

3. In what areas of development do children have needs to be met?

Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Moral, Social

4. What are 3 styles of parenting?Authoritarian, Democratic, Permissive

Guiding Children’s Behavior

Amy was frustrated because 4 year old Jenny never put her toys away. She tried reminding Jenny, scolding her, and even banning television until the toys were picked up. Nothing seemed to work. She didn’t know what to do.

What should she do?

Understanding Guidance

• Guidance– Using firmness and understanding to help children

learn to control their own behavior.

• Self-discipline– Ability to control you own behavior.

• Conscience– Inner sense of what is right.