Conversation 1: Calculus in the computer lab

Girl 1: How many problems do you have left?

Girl 2: 13. I also have like..the regular assignment

Girl 1: yeah.

Girl 2: Yeah like…I know that there‟s some trick to finding horizontal

asymptotes but I can‟t remember what it is.

Girl 1: Yeah. I completely forget. I mean...I am really…I don‟t know.

Calculus is such a back-of-the-mind thing that I just forget all that

shit.

Girl 2: I‟m just gonna Google that shit. It‟s like…It‟s not that

helpful. It just tells you how to write and find the horizontal

asymptotes

Girl 1: Yeah.

Girl 2: Google‟s failing me.

Girl 1: Damnit Google.

Girl 2: Damn you, Google! How else am I supposed to pass my calculus

class?

[Girl 1 laughs]

Girl 2: Surely not by reading the book. Of course I read that damn

book, too, and like it doesn‟t help. It just talks about limits.

Girl 1: [higher ditsy voice] How do you even read numbers? It doesn‟t

even make sense!

Girl 2: [same high ditsy voice] I don‟t even…yeah! We don‟t even USE

numbers in calculus.

Girl 1: Yeah it was so funny when someone was like „yeah you can spell

numbers‟ PFFFFF!

Girl 2: You can‟t spell numbers! It‟s a number!

Girl 1: It doesn‟t even make sense.

Girl 2: But in calculus, you don‟t use numbers. You use the entire

fucking alphabet.

Girl 1: Whaaaat?

Girl 2: Say whaaat?

Girl 1: Isn‟t it math? Math is numbers.

Girl 2: Yeah ummm so I‟m gonna disillusion you. Once you get to

precalc, you don‟t use numbers anymore. It‟s all like T, E, A…

Girl 1: So how is it math??

Girl 2: I don‟t know. I don‟t know.

Girl 1: So is it actually just another English class basically?

Girl 2: Basically. Like they expect you to give a thesis statement

when they want you to find the zeroes of a function.

Girl 1: That‟s fuckin retarded.

Girl 2: Yeah it really is….Anyway, I gotta get this shit done. It‟s

due in 4 hours.

Girl 1: Kickass.

Conversation 2: Girl Talk

Girl 1: Yeah I don‟t know if he really likes me. Like…he gives

like…gentle touches here and there. But I mean like…maybe he‟s just a

touchy-feely person. Cause I‟ve also seen him doing that with Casey.

Girl 2: Yeah like…it‟s pretty shady like..I don‟t know. I think he‟s

just kindof a manwhore.

Girl 1: See like…that‟s what I thought, too, but like we were talking

and he‟s like „yeah people think I like a lot of girls but I really

don‟t. I‟m just a friendly person. And I mean…you‟re kinda different‟

Girl 2: Ohhhh girl!!I bet he tooootally likes you.

Girl 1: Yeah he tooootally likes me. But I mean like…you really think

so?

Girl 2: Yeah I do! I mean you‟re like suuuper pretty soooo…

Girl 1: You‟re so nice! Like I‟ve always been jealous of your face. I

just want it!

Girl 2: Well that‟s super sweet but yeah..

Girl 1: But you know…I don‟t know if he means different like “Hey

you‟re special to me” or “Hey you‟re special retarded”

Girl 2: [laugh] Well, I‟m sure he means SPEEECIAAAAL [nudges Girl 1

with elbow]

Girl 1: Well you know he‟s kinda witty like that where he‟ll like

compliment you but he‟s like backhanding you too…like he‟s kindof a

dick sometimes…

Girl 2: Well I mean like…those are the best sometimes…like I mean…you

should go for it.