Easy Spanish Jokes for Kids School1.La maestra dice: Jaimito, dime cinco cosas que contengan leche. Cinco vacas, seorita.(Jaimito, tell me five things that contain milk. Five cows, Miss.)2.La maestra dice: Carlitos, nombra seis animales salvajes. Cuatro elefantes y dos leones!(Carlitos, name six wild animals. Four elephants and two lions!)3.La maestra dice: Pepito, dime cuatro miembros de la familia de los felinos. Pap gato, mam gata y dos gatitos.(Pepito, tell me four members of the cat family. Father Cat, Mother Cat and two kittens. This joke is playing with the word familia.)4.El profesor le pregunta a un estudiante: Dime una palabra que empiece por D. Ayer. Ayer no empieza por D. Claro que s, contesta el alumno. Ayer era domingo.(Tell me a word that starts with s. Yesterday. Yesterday doesnt start with s Of course it does, answers the student. Yesterday was Sunday. I changed the letter so the joke would make sense in English.)5.Por qu la maestra usa lentes oscuros? Porque sus alumnos son brillantes.(Why does the teacher use dark glasses? Because her students are brilliant.)6. Pap , hoy no puedo ir a la escuela. Por qu no, hijo? No me siento bien. Por qu no te sientes bien? Porque tengo que ir a la escuela.(Dad, I cant go to school today. Why not, son? I dont feel well. Why dont you feel well? Because I have to go to school.)7. Pedrito, Qu vas a ser cuando seas grande? Pedro.(Johnny, what are you going to be when you grow up? John.)8. Dganme, niosQu mes tiene 28 das? Todos!(Tell me, children, what month has 28 days? All of them!)9. Ustedes no me prestan atencin. Tienen problemas para or? No, seorita. Tenemos problemas para escuchar.(Class, you are not paying attention to me. Do you have problems hearing? No Miss, we have problems listening.)10. Dime, Jaimito Cunto es la mitad de ocho? A lo largo o a lo ancho, seorita? Qu quieres decir? Es que si lo corto a lo largo, es tres, y si lo corto por la mitad a lo ancho, es cero.(Tell me Jaimito, what is half of eight? The long way or the short way? What do you mean? If I cut it the long way, it is three, and if I cut it in half the short way, it is zero.)11. Chicos, ahora quiero que me respondan todos juntos: Cunto es seis por ocho? TODOS JUNTOS!(Class, now I want everyone to answer all together. How much is six times eight? ALL TOGETHER!1. Qu es lo primero que hace un burro cuando sale al sol? Sombra(What is the first thing that a donkey does/makes when he goes out into the sun?Shadow. This joke is based on the verbhacermeaning bothto doandto make. The logical assumption is that the question is What does a donkey do? but the answer is based on the question What does a donkey make..? )2. Caminaban un pato y una vaca por un camino. Llegaron a un puente y al cruzarlo la vaca se cay al agua.La vaca le grita al pato: Qu hago, Pato, qu hago?Y el pato contesta: Nada, Vaca, nada!Y la vaca se ahog.(A duck and a cow were walking along a road. They came to a bridge and as they were crossing it, the cow fell into the water. The cow shouted to the duck: What do I do, Duck, what do I do?And the duck answered:-Swim, Cow, swim!And the cow drowned.This joke is based on the wordnadameaningswimand alsonothing. Lots of kids jokes are based on this double meaning.)3. Cul fue el ltimo animal en llegar al Arca de No? El delfn.(What was the last animal to get to Noahs Ark? The dolphin. / The one at the end. This joke is based on the word for dolphin:El delfnmeansthe dolphin.El del finmeansthe one at the end. They are pronounced the same.)4. Cul es el animal ms antiguo? La vacaPor qu? Porque est en blanco y negro.(What is the oldest animal? The cow. Why? Because it is in black and white. Kids tell this joke withla cebra, the zebra, too.)5. Una ovejita le dice a la mam oveja: Mam!, Mam! puedo ir a una fiesta?La mam oveja le contesta: Veee, veee.(A little sheep asks her mother, Mom, mom, can I go to a party? The mother sheep answers, Go, go. This joke is based on the command form of the verbir,ve, being pronounced the same way that the sound a sheep makes is pronounced,beee.Lots of kids jokes are based on this simple word play.)6. En el zoolgico dos jirafas platican y una le dice a la otra:Supiste que ayer incendiaron la jaula del oso?Y de quin se sospecha?Se sospecha de la llama.You can tell this joke with simpler vocabulary too.En el zoolgico dos jirafas hablan y una le dice a la otra: Sabes que ayer prendieron fuego a la jaula del oso? Quen lo hizo? Creen que fue la llama.(In the zoo, two giraffes are talking and one says to the other: Did you know that yesterday they burned up the bears cage?/easier Do you know that yesterday they set fire to the bears cage? Whom do they suspect?/easier Who did it? They suspect the llama. /easier They think it was the llama.This joke is based on the word forllama, the animal, being the same as the word for flame.)The next few jokes are longer, but they have simple vocabulary. I have written them here with fairly natural language, but you can shorten and simplify how you tell them and they still work.7. Un ladrn a la media noche se mete en una casa a robar. Entra por una ventana, y cuando est adentro en la oscuridad oye una voz que dice: Jess te est mirando!El ladrn se asusta y se detiene por un momento. Luego cuando no ocurre nada contina. Y de nuevo la voz le dice: Jess te est mirando!El ladrn asustado prende la luz y ve que la voz viene de un loro que est en una jaula. El ladrn le dice: Ahhh que susto me diste! Cmo te llamas lorito?Y el loro le responde: Me llamo Pedro.Le dice el ladrn: Pedro es un nombre extrao para un loro.Y el loro le contesta: Ms extrao es el nombre Jess para un Doberman.(At midnight, a thief breaks into a house to steal things. He goes in through a window and when he is inside, in the dark he hears a voice that says: Jesus is watching you!The thief is scared and he stops for a moment. When nothing happens, he keeps going. Again the voice says: Jesus is watching you!Scared, the thief turns on the light and sees that the voice is coming from a parrot in a cage. The thief says to him: You scared me! What is your name little parrot?And the parrot answers: My name is Pedro.The thief says: Pedro is a strange name for a parrot.And the parrot answers: Jesus is a stranger name for a Doberman.)8. Dios estaba creando el mundo y le estaba poniendo el nombre a los animales: T te llamars gallina. T te llamars caballo. T te llamars burro.Y sigue ponindoles sus nombres cuando el burro pregunta:-Cmo me llamaba yo?Y Dios contesta: BurroDespus de tres minutos ms, el burro pregunta: Cmo me llamaba yo? BurroY as cinco veces ms le vuelve a preguntar: Cmo me llamaba yo?Por fin Dios le responde: Burro, tontoY el burro le dice: Yo ya me estaba aprendiendo el nombre y usted ahora me dice el apellido!(God was creating the world and he was naming the animals: You will be called chicken. You will be called horse. You will be called donkey.And he keeps naming the animals when the donkey asks: What was my name?And God answers: DonkeyAfter three minutes, the donkey asks again: What was my name? DonkeyAnd five more times he asks: What was my name?Finally, God answers: Donkey, dummy.And the donkey says:I was just learning my first name and now you tell me my last name!)9. Entra un hombre al jardn de su amigo y ve un letrero que dice: Cuidado con el perro. Y entonces ve a un perro muy chiquito.Habla con su amigo y le dice: Para qu pones ese letrero si el perro es tan pequeo que no puede morder a nadie? Su amigo le contesta: S, pero no sabes la cantidad de veces que me lo han pisado!(A man goes into his friends yard and sees a sign that says: Beware of the Dog.Then he sees a little tiny dog. He goes to his friend and asks: Why do you have that sign if the dog is so small that it cant bite anyone? And his friend answers: Yeah, but you dont know how many times he has been stepped on!)10. Un grillo le habla a un elefante y el grillo le dice: Qu fea cara tienes! y yo chiquito, bonito y canto.Y el grillo sigue: Y mira qu fea cola tienes! y yo chiquito, bonito y canto.Y sigue: Y esas patas tan grandes y arrugadas! y yo chiquito, bonito y cantoY plas! Cantabas, chiquito, cantabas.(A cricket is talking to an elephant and the cricket says: What an ugly face you have! And I am little and pretty and I sing.And the cricket continues: And look what an ugly tail you have! And I am little and pretty and I sing.And he keeps going: And those big, wrinkled feet! And I am little and pretty and I singAnd squish! You used to sing, little one, you used to sing.)

1. Mesero, el pescado viene solo? No, se lo traigo yo.(Waiter, does the fish comesolo?Solohere means without side dishes, but it can also meanby itself. -No, I bring it.)2. Qu le dice un semforo a otro? No me mires porque me estoy cambiando!(What does one stoplight say to the other? Dont look at me; Im changing!)3. Por qu miran hacia arriba las focas? Porque all estn los focos.(This joke is based on how the meaning of the wordfocachanges when the gender changes. It doesnt make sense in English, but the meaning is: Why do seals look up? Because that is where the lightbulbs are. foca-seal, feminine; foco-light bulb, masculine)4. Una ratita se encuentra con otra ratita y le pregunta: Qu haces, ratita? Espero un ratito.(One little girl rat meets another little girl rat and asks-What are you doing?-Im waiting a little while./ Im waiting for a little boy rat.This joke is also based on a change of gender changing the meaning.Esperar un ratitois a very common phrase. Ratitomeans a little while, but also a little boy rat.)5. Quieres que te cuente un chiste al revs? S. Empieza a rerte.(Do you want me to tell you a joke backwards? Yes. Start laughing.)6. Cmo est tu hijo pequeo? Hace tres meses que camina. Pues, ya debe estar muy lejos!(-How is your little boy? -Hes been walking for three months. He must be really far away by now!)7. Una manzana est esperando el autobs. Llega un pltano y le pregunta: Hace mucho que usted espera?Y la manzana responde: Soy manzana!(An apple is waiting for the bus. A banana comes up and asks Have you been waiting long? The question sounds exactly the same asHace mucho que usted es pera?which means Have you been a pear for long? The apple answers, Im an apple!)8. Haba un tomate y una pera en la parada del autobus. El tomate le pregunta a la pera Hace mucho que espera? Desde que nac.[This joke is based on the same confusion of sounds as #7. A tomato and a pear were waiting at the bus stop. The tomato asked the pear, Have you been waiting long? (also meaning, Have you been a pear long?) Ever since I was born.]9. Qu le dijo la Luna al Sol? -Tan grande y no te dejan salir de noche!(What did the moon say to the sun? So big and they dont let you go out at night!)10. Cul es el animal que es animal dos veces? El gato, porque es gato y araa.(This joke is based on the verbaraar, to scratch, and the wordaraawhich means spider. What animal is two animals? A cat, because he is a cat and a spider/he scratches.)11. Qu le dice el 1 al 10? Para ser como yo, debes ser sincero.(What does the 1 say to the 10? To be like me, you have to be sincere/ without a zero.This joke is based on the identical sound of the adjectivesincero, sincere, and the phrasesin cero,without a zero.)