TAKS ESSAYTAKS ESSAYDiscussion & Discussion &

Retest InformationRetest Information

Areas Done WellAreas Done Well

Some good choices for Some good choices for topicstopics

Most of you write clearly, Most of you write clearly, correctly & smoothly correctly & smoothly enough to score wellenough to score well

Areas that Need WorkAreas that Need Work

PLEASEPLEASE write a story write a story If you write about a specific If you write about a specific

event that is connected to the event that is connected to the topic, you will get at least a 2topic, you will get at least a 2

Plus it’s easier to get a 3 or Plus it’s easier to get a 3 or higher with a specific storyhigher with a specific story

Areas that Need WorkAreas that Need Work Hypothetical discussions aren’t as effective Hypothetical discussions aren’t as effective

as REAL examples (What if…)as REAL examples (What if…) Generalities hurt you (“Friends,” “people”…Generalities hurt you (“Friends,” “people”…

NAME specific people, places and events. NAME specific people, places and events. Test – if you don’t have capitalized names, Test – if you don’t have capitalized names, you’ve been WAY too general!)you’ve been WAY too general!)

Avoid “you” – it gets preachy (“Have you Avoid “you” – it gets preachy (“Have you ever thought…” or “You should…”) No ever thought…” or “You should…”) No sermons pleasesermons please

Areas that Need WorkAreas that Need Work Conclusion – explain the change in Conclusion – explain the change in

feelings from before and after the feelings from before and after the eventevent

Organize into paragraphsOrganize into paragraphs Dialogue formatDialogue format Keep verb tense consistent – usually Keep verb tense consistent – usually

past tense (story has already past tense (story has already happened)happened)

Run-ons are a problem for a lot of youRun-ons are a problem for a lot of you

Areas that Need WorkAreas that Need Work Edit for mechanical problemsEdit for mechanical problems there, their & they’re (lots of errors)there, their & they’re (lots of errors) to vs. tooto vs. too past vs. passedpast vs. passed

Retest InformationRetest InformationNot available for 4s, Optional for 3s, Required for Not available for 4s, Optional for 3s, Required for

2s & 1s2s & 1s

Grade for 1Grade for 1stst Writing Writing 4 = 984 = 98______________________________________________________ 3 = 853 = 85

______________________________________________________ 2 = 752 = 75

______________________________________________________ 1 = 651 = 65

Grade for RetestGrade for Retest N/AN/A____________________________________________ 3 to a 4 = 953 to a 4 = 95

3 to a 3 = 893 to a 3 = 89____________________________________________ 2 to a 4 = 952 to a 4 = 95

2 to a 3 = 852 to a 3 = 852 to a 2 = 792 to a 2 = 79

____________________________________________ 1 to a 4 = 951 to a 4 = 95 1 to a 3 = 851 to a 3 = 85

1 to a 2 = 751 to a 2 = 751 to a 1 = 691 to a 1 = 69

Grade will not go down even if you score lower on rewrite

Action LeadAction Lead “ “It’s dark in that awful way that allows you to It’s dark in that awful way that allows you to

make out objects but not the black spaces behind make out objects but not the black spaces behind them. My breathing comes ragged from exertion them. My breathing comes ragged from exertion and fear. The only person I trust in the world lies and fear. The only person I trust in the world lies on the floor beside me. I lean into him and hear on the floor beside me. I lean into him and hear that he’s still breathing but it’s shallow and hard that he’s still breathing but it’s shallow and hard won. He’s hurt, I know. But I can’t see how badly. won. He’s hurt, I know. But I can’t see how badly. I whisper his name in his ear but he doesn’t I whisper his name in his ear but he doesn’t respond. I feel his body but there’s no blood that I respond. I feel his body but there’s no blood that I can tell. The sound of his body hitting the floor can tell. The sound of his body hitting the floor minutes before was the worst thing I’ve ever minutes before was the worst thing I’ve ever heard”.heard”.

Lisa Unger – Lisa Unger – Beautiful LiesBeautiful Lies

Character LeadCharacter Lead““Doodle was born when I was seven and was, from Doodle was born when I was seven and was, from the start a disappointment. He seemed all head, the start a disappointment. He seemed all head, with a tiny body that was read and shriveled like an with a tiny body that was read and shriveled like an old man’s. Everybody thought he was going to die. old man’s. Everybody thought he was going to die. Daddy had the carpenter build a little coffin, and Daddy had the carpenter build a little coffin, and when he was three months old, Mama and Daddy when he was three months old, Mama and Daddy named him William Armstrong. Such a name sounds named him William Armstrong. Such a name sounds good only on a tombstone. When he crawled on the good only on a tombstone. When he crawled on the rug, he crawled backward, as if he were in reverse rug, he crawled backward, as if he were in reverse and couldn't change gears. This made him look like and couldn't change gears. This made him look like a doodlebug, so I began calling him 'Doodle.' a doodlebug, so I began calling him 'Doodle.' Renaming my brother was probably the kindest Renaming my brother was probably the kindest thing I ever did for him, because nobody expects thing I ever did for him, because nobody expects much from someone called Doodle”.much from someone called Doodle”.James Hurst – “The Scarlet Ibis”James Hurst – “The Scarlet Ibis”

Reaction LeadReaction Lead"Never shall I forget that night, the first night in "Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed. night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky. Never shall I forget those flames silent blue sky. Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I which consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never." to live as long as God Himself. Never." Elie Wiesel - Elie Wiesel - NightNight

Setting LeadSetting Lead

“ “Now the sunlight had lifted clear of the open Now the sunlight had lifted clear of the open

space and withdrawn from the sky. Darkness space and withdrawn from the sky. Darkness poured out, submerging the ways between the poured out, submerging the ways between the trees till they were dim and strange as the trees till they were dim and strange as the bottom of the sea. The candle-buds opened their bottom of the sea. The candle-buds opened their wide white flowers glimmering under the light wide white flowers glimmering under the light that pricked down from the first stars. Their scent that pricked down from the first stars. Their scent spilled out into the air and took possession of the spilled out into the air and took possession of the island”.island”.

William Golding – William Golding – The Lord of the FliesThe Lord of the Flies

Dialogue LeadDialogue Lead “ “ANDY, YOU’RE NOT GOING to believe this.” ANDY, YOU’RE NOT GOING to believe this.”

This is the type of sentence that, when said in This is the type of sentence that, when said in a vacuum, doesn’t reveal much. Whatever it is a vacuum, doesn’t reveal much. Whatever it is that I am not going to believe might be very that I am not going to believe might be very positive or very negative, and there would be positive or very negative, and there would be no way to know until I see it. no way to know until I see it. Unfortunately, this particular sentence is not Unfortunately, this particular sentence is not said in a vacuum; it’s said in the Passaic said in a vacuum; it’s said in the Passaic County Animal Shelter. Which means that County Animal Shelter. Which means that “positive” is no longer one of the possibilities. “positive” is no longer one of the possibilities.

David Rosenfelt – David Rosenfelt – Play DeadPlay Dead

Dialogue formatDialogue format

Depth ChargingDepth Charging 1. Find a telling sentence – it just makes a 1. Find a telling sentence – it just makes a

statement.statement. 2. Write the sentence on another sheet of paper.2. Write the sentence on another sheet of paper. 3. Circle an interesting word (avoid articles and3. Circle an interesting word (avoid articles and prepositions) in the sentenceprepositions) in the sentence 4. Write a sentence, on topic, about the circled 4. Write a sentence, on topic, about the circled

word.word. 5. Repeat steps 3 & 4.5. Repeat steps 3 & 4. 6. Write one more sentence that 6. Write one more sentence that connects backconnects back

to the to the first sentence.first sentence. 7. Do it 3-4 times per paper.7. Do it 3-4 times per paper.

““The Voice of the The Voice of the Spurs”Spurs”

My heart was beating wildly as I rode up My heart was beating wildly as I rode up the rickety old elevator. When I reached the rickety old elevator. When I reached the second floor, the door opened to the second floor, the door opened to reveal a most peculiar sight. Instead of reveal a most peculiar sight. Instead of a state-of-the-art radio facility, the place a state-of-the-art radio facility, the place was gutted and full of construction was gutted and full of construction workers. Taken aback by the surprising workers. Taken aback by the surprising surroundings, I walked up to the surroundings, I walked up to the secretary and told her that I was secretary and told her that I was scheduled to meet with Jay Howard for a scheduled to meet with Jay Howard for a job interview. She replied that he was job interview. She replied that he was not in yet and to take a seat.not in yet and to take a seat.

ConclusionsConclusions CallbackCallback – when something at the onset – when something at the onset

is referenced at the end – ties the piece is referenced at the end – ties the piece w/a boww/a bow

DialogueDialogue – character says something – character says something meaningful, a lesson, that contributes to meaningful, a lesson, that contributes to the essay the essay

ContemplativeContemplative – thinking, reflective, – thinking, reflective, tells the reader what insights/lessons tells the reader what insights/lessons learnedlearned

QuotationQuotation – not given by character but – not given by character but outside source.outside source.