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How To Say Sorry
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How To Say Sorry - Introduction Have you ever done something wrong and thought
that if you just apologize everything would be alright?
How many times have you apologized for something that you may or may not have done just to have the apology blow up in your face? You think you are going to make everything alright but your apology leads to more fighting.
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How To Say Sorry - Introduction
So why doesn't an apology always make things right?
How can an apology make matters worse? There are several reasons as to why this happens
and why an apology can backfire and have the exact opposite effect than it is supposed to have.
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Accept Responsibility We use an apology as an
admission of wrongdoing. We admit we were wrong
but then we typically offer excuses and justifications for our behaviours.
This usually leads to more arguing.
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Accept Responsibility You can change this by
changing your mindset of what the purpose of an apology should be.
The new purpose of the apology should be to "accept responsibility for the rift in the relationship.“
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Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong? Apologies can backfire simply
because we say the wrong things at the wrong times.
What words we say can make the difference between having the apology lead to a productive discussion vs. an apology that leads to further argument.
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Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong? The most common
mistake that we make saying I'm sorry is placing too much emphasis on who's right and who's wrong.
Avoid the blame game! www.howtosayimsorry.com
Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings
How to say sorry effectively requires you to be in the right frame of mind before attempting to deliver the apology.
You should never lead your apology with "I know how you feel..."
This type of statement can be offensive to the other person, only making them angrier.
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Acknowledge The Other Person’s Feelings
Your apology should be centered around acknowledging how the other person feels. This requires some thought and should not be taken lightly.
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The “Why” Question Before saying I'm sorry you
need to be prepared regarding how you will handle the "why" question.
When something goes wrong in a relationship the question of "why" always comes up. Why did you do this or why did you do that?
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The “Why” Question This needs to be handled
delicately and with sensitivity or the apology can easily go sour only to make matters worse.
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How Has This Affected You? You need to let your partner
know how the situation has affected you.
Be careful not to place blame on your partner or be accusatory.
You are still accepting responsibility for the problem but at the same time expressing how the problem has affected you.
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Apologize Without Defense Finally - in learning how
to say sorry more effectively we have to learn how to apologize without defense.
This simply means that we apologize without expecting anything in return.
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Apologize Without Defense You offer an apology but
realize that the other person may not accept it.
It would be great if they forgive you - but they may not.
You must accept the fact that your apology may not be enough at this point.
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www.howtosayimsorry.com All relationships will run
into bumps and snags. Learning how to say sorry
more effectively can make the difference between a long-lasting relationship or a short-lived one.
Access my free report titled "How To Deliver An Effective Apology" by visiting
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