How to Know Everything

Program Manager Meeting

12/10/2010

Questions for the Team

• Do you know how to do your job?

• Do you find you know why things occur?

• Do you find your assumptions are generally right?

• When a problem occurs, do you know how to solve it?

• Do you think you have the answers?

Scenarios

• Jane is absent again. She’s always absent. We can’t do our work if she’s not here. We need to replace Jane…

• John’s productivity is always low. I saw him in the hall on the phone again. It’s time to write him up…

• That regional is such a pain. She/he’s always pushing back and letting me know my people are wrong. I wish…

Problem Management

• When we face a problem or conflict– We seek answers and solutions– We take what we know and apply it– We want to end it and move forward

– It’s just natural to respond this way

– What are we doing when we act this way?

Judger Thinking

• If we act without questioning– We move forward based on our assumptions– We never really learn what’s occurring– We never learn new ideas– We never gain new results

– Think about a problem you hear about every week…

Question Thinking

• Transforming our thinking, action, and results through skillful question asking

• Questions we ask to our self– Questioning our assumptions and idea

• Questions we ask of others– Seeking to understand what others think and feel

• Questions that generate more questions• Putting off finding the answer• Discussing possibilities• Trying new ideas and asking more questions

Important Terms

• Blame – someone is wrong– Keeps us stuck in the problem, in the past

• Responsibility – some one is accountable– Lets us move forward, lets us find different solutions

• Judger– Acts based on assumptions – Knows how to solve the problem

• Learner– Acts based on facts– Asks questions to find a solution to the problem

Outcomes

• Judger – Future is recycled version of the past– If we apply the same action, we’ll have the

same outcomes

• Learner– Different thinking = different action = different

outcomes

First Steps

• Become a self observer– What am I doing, judging or questioning– What am I feeling, frustration or curiosity

• Ask someone if you’re not sure

• Agree there is no right or wrong– Its not about being right, it’s about achieving the goal

• Agree there is just:– What happens / happened– What we do with what happens / happened

Self Observation Helper

• Judger Mode– Self-righteous– Arrogant / Right– Superior– Defensive– Put others down– Put our self down– Negative or grumpy– Physical reaction: breath

heavy, stiff body– Mental reaction: hopeless,

frustrated, pessimistic, uptight, depressed, victim…

• Learner Mode– Open to feedback – Eager for interaction– Team member– Help others– Seek to understand others

and self– Positive and excited– Physical reaction: breath

slowly, relaxed body– Mental reaction: future

focused, positive, relaxed, responsible…

Mindsets

• Judger– Judgmental

– Reactive

– Blame focused

– Know it all

– Inflexible / rigid

– Personal perspective only

– Defends assumptions

– Possibilities are limited

– Protective

• Learner– Accepting– Responsive– Thoughtful– Flexible / Adaptive– Values not knowing – Inquisitive– Considers another’s

perspective– Questions assumptions– Possibilities are unlimited– Curious

Relationships

• Judger– Win-lose

– Debates

– Feels separate from others

– Fears differences

– Feedback is perceived as negative / rejection

– Listens for differences, right/wrong, agree/disagree

– Seeks to attack or defend

• Learner– Win-win

– Dialogues

– Feels connected to others

– Values differences

– Feedback is perceived as helpful/worthwhile

– Listens for facts, common points, understanding

– Seeks to resolve and create

Question Management

• Question Everything– Ask questions – Seek input

• Ask questions 80% of the time

• Tell others to act 20% of the time

Questions

• Judger – What’s wrong

– Whose fault is it

– What’s wrong with me

– How can I prove I’m right

– How will this be a problem for me

– Why is X so stupid and frustrating

– How can I get control

– Why bother

• Learner– Why do we do it this way– What am I responsible for– What can I control– What do I want– What can I learn – What are the facts– What’s useful about X– What is the other person

thinking, feeling, and wanting

– What’s the big picture– What’s possible

More Learner Questions

• What are my choices

• What assumptions am I making

• How else can I think about this

• What can I learn– From this person or

situation

– From this success

– From this failure or mistake

• What action steps make the most sense

• What questions should I ask– Myself – Others

• How can I turn this into a win-win

• What’s possible• What am I missing or

avoiding

Why It Matters

• You can’t help someone in judger mode– You have to ask questions to help someone

• You can’t help yourself in judger mode– You have to ask questions to learn

• You can’t gain different outcomes in judger mode– You’ll just do what you’ve always done

• You can’t become better in judger mode– You learn and grow by asking questions

• The mode you’re in impacts the mode of others

Switching to Learner

• Switching questions– “How else can I think about ______?”– “What do I need to know about _______”– “Am I feeling frustrated? “– “Is it time to pause?”

• This is a moment to moment process– You’ll jump into judger naturally

• Questions – Cause us to become curious– Move us away from frustration and blame

More Switching Questions

• Am I in Judger• Is this what I want to feel• Is this what I want to be

doing• Where would I rather be• How can I get there• Is this working• What are the facts• What’s surprising• What humor can I find in

this situation

• How else can I think about this

• What assumptions am I making

• What am I missing or avoiding

• How can I be more objective and honest

• What is the other person thinking, feeling, wanting

ABCC Choice Process

• Aware– What mode am I in: Judger / Learner

• Breathe– Is it time to pause, step back, and gain objectivity

• Curiosity– Do I have all the facts? – What’s occurring here?– What else do I need to know?

• Choose– What mode do I choose to be in?

Team Work

Common

Goals

NHA

DCN Team

Dietary Team

HRC

RVPO

Region Team

Business OfficeTeam

DON

Social Worker

H & LTeam

MDS Team

Maintenance Team

Rehab Team

Sales Team

Learner Alliance

• Create an environment of questioners and learners– Ask the team to question storm when a problem

occurs– If you hear judgment, ask questions

• How can we avoid being judgmental• What do we need to know about the situation• How can we ensure all members are comfortable

asking for help

Learner Alliance 2

• Ask the team to share learning experiences

• Share your own learning experiences with others

• Put a copy of the Choice Map on your wall– Reference it throughout the day

• Ask the team what mode you’re in– Be vulnerable to feedback

Question Storming

• Have the team talk in first person: I or We• Generate Questions, but don’t judge them• Questions should be open ended

– How can we

– Can we

• Invite dumb, courageous, or provocative questions– The goal is to generate questions

– You can use the answer to generate solutions later

Challenges

• Empower your self observer– The next time you feel challenged or want to

act impulsively or based on assumption• Step back and observe yourself

• Tell yourself you don’t have to respond

• Note what you’re thinking, feeling, and wanting

• Tell yourself this is not the time to take action

– What did you learn?

Challenges 2

• Set your alarm for a random time of day– When it goes off, ask yourself

• What am I feeling• What’s driving my behavior

• Notice your response to any situation– Is your first thought a statement or question– Use a switching statement if appropriate

Questions

• What are your questions• What do you want to know• Did I skim over anything• Could I provide another example• How could I better help learners understand• Is there anything else you want to know• Is there anything else we need to discuss• What are …