PRESENTATION THIS IS NOT A

THE HEROIC ART OF SELLING A STORY

PRESENTER YOU ARE NOT A

PRESENTER

Have I got a PowerPoint for you guys…

YOU ARE NOT A

SALESPERSON YOU ARE A

SALESPERSON YOU ARE A

It’s not a phone. It’s your destiny…

PRODUCT YOU’RE NOT SELLING A

PRODUCT

But I have 7 times the moistening power!

YOU’RE NOT SELLING A

A STORY YOU’RE SELLING

A STORY YOU’RE SELLING

You’re judging me, aren’t you, you bastards?

WORLD IS A STORY ABOUT THE WAY THE

WORLD IS A STORY ABOUT THE WAY THE

This just in. No one really likes the winter Olympics.

COULD BE A STORY ABOUT THE WAY THE WORLD

COULD BE A STORY ABOUT THE WAY THE WORLD

I’m so glad we don’t have to pretend to like Curling anymore.

WILLING? ARE YOU

IS NOT YOU THE HERO OF THE STORY

IS NOT YOU THE HERO OF THE STORY

Hey, Bill. Have you lost weight?

AUDIENCE IT’S ACTUALLY YOUR

AUDIENCE IT’S ACTUALLY YOUR

I could kill you all with my fluffy little finger.

WINNING THE BEST STORIES AREN’T ABOUT

WINNING

Wow, that was easy. Let’s go dance like children on Meth.

THE BEST STORIES AREN’T ABOUT

OR GLORY

OR GLORY

So no medal for the Wookie, huh? Dicks.

COMPLACENCY THEY’RE ABOUT

COMPLACENCY THEY’RE ABOUT

I really want more ENT cider, but the fridge is sooooo far away.

FEAR…

FEAR… But this is my scared face.

FAILURE…

FAILURE…

Help him I cannot. A whiny bitch he is.

MASTERY…

Adrian! The montage is finally over!

MASTERY…

MAYBE AND FINALLY, WINNING AND GLORY…

MAYBE AND FINALLY, WINNING AND GLORY…

Saved the Shire? Grumpy Hobbit is not impressed.

BATTLE IT WILL BE AN EPIC

BATTLE IT WILL BE AN EPIC

Wait. Are you sure you did ALL of your homework, boy?

HERO’S JOURNEY THIS IS THE

TRUE STORIES THESE ARE

TRUE STORIES THESE ARE

‘Do this, Luke. Do that Luke. Clean your sleeping pod, Luke.’

THEY CAN BELIEVE DON’T TELL A STORY

THEY CAN BELIEVE DON’T TELL A STORY

I’m nodding my disapproval.

THEY CAN OWN TELL A STORY

THEY CAN OWN TELL A STORY

Wait ‘til the world sees this. Instant cred.

SALE IS MADE THAT’S THE MOMENT YOUR

SALE IS MADE THAT’S THE MOMENT YOUR

To be clear… This doesn’t make us friends.

THE END

PRESENTATION THIS WAS NOT A