Download - Employing Interdependence Chapter Five. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 5 | 2 Employing Interdependence

Employing Interdependence

Chapter Five

Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 5 | 2

Employing Interdependence


Developing Mutually Supportive Relationships, Journal 15

Focus Question– How could you make accomplishing your

success a little easier and much more fun?


Kinds of People

I can’t achieve my goals by myself. I need other people to do most of the work for me.

DEPENDENT people believe:

I’ll pursue my goals as soon as I’ve helped others get their goals.CO-DEPENDENT people believe:

By working hard, I can get some of what I want all by myself. I’ll just do without the rest.

INDEPENDENT people believe:

I know I can get some of what I want by working alone, but I’ll accomplish more and have more fun if I give and receive help.

INTERDEPENDENT people believe:


Understanding How People Relate

• Most destructive relationships are those based on codependence.

• They are motivated not by their own successes, but by someone else’s approval or dependence upon them.

• They tend to abandon their own dreams and even endure abuse to keep the approval of others.


Giving and Receiving

• The Giver – tends to be codependent

• The Taker – tends to be dependent

• The Withdrawler – tends to be independent


Signs of Maturity

Interdependence

I

Independence

l

Codependence

I

Dependence


Interdependence

• The Creator – know that life can be easier and more enjoyable when people cooperate.

• Maximize their success in college by seeking assistance from all available resources.

• Find a healthy balance of giving and receiving, and everyone benefits.


Creating a Support Network, Journal 16

Focus Question– How could you create and sustain an

effective support network to help you achieve your greatest dreams in college and in life?


Creating a Support Network

• Seek help from Instructors

• Get help from College Resources

• Create a Project Team

• Start a Study Group


Guidelines for Starting a Study Group

Guideline 1:

Guideline 2:

Guideline 3:

Choose only Creators

Choose Group Goals

Choose Group Rules


Strengthening Relationships with Active Listening, Journal 17

Focus Questions– Do you know how to strengthen

relationships with active listening?– What are the essential skills of being a

good listener?


How to Listen Actively

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

Listen to understand

Clear your mind and remain silent

Ask the person to expand or clarify

Step 4: Reflect the other person’s thoughts and feelings


Be Assertive, Journal 18

Focus Question– How can you communicate in a style that

strengthens relationships, creates better results, and builds strong self–esteem?


The Kinds of Communications

• Placators – are Victims who are dominated by their Inner Critic. They place themselves below others, protecting themselves from the sting of criticism and rejections by saying whatever they think will gain approval.

• Blamers – are Victims who are dominated by their inner Defender. They place themselves, above others, protecting themselves from disappointment and failure by making others fully responsible for their problems.

• Levelers – are Creators who are dominated by their Inner Guide. They communicate purposefully, honestly and responsibly.


Delivering I-Messages

Step 1:

Step 2:

Step 3:

A statement of the situation: “When you ….”

A statement of your reaction: “I felt/thought/decided…”

A request: “I’d like to ask that you…”

Step 4: An invitation to respond: “Will you agree to that?”

Download - Employing Interdependence Chapter Five. Copyright © Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. 5 | 2 Employing Interdependence

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