Defining Adolescence
• Merriam Webster Online Dictionary:
• “the state or process of growing up from childhood to adulthood.”
• Our emphasis on adolescence as a time of change and growth, as a passing
• Developmental Phenomenon introducing adulthood, reveals more about our hopes and fears than about the actual content and opportunities of adolescent development.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Adolescent to Maturity
• The adolescent is regarded as a
• Child who has left the safe harbor of childhood but
• Has not yet reached the shores of maturity.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Adolescent Struggle
• Is about the forces which shape the self and direct the search for identity.
• It examines the factors which incline young people toward
• Self-centeredness,
• Irrationality and
• Faulty Decision-Making.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Maturity Involves
• Being Honest and True to oneself,
• Making decisions based on a conscious internal process,
• Assuming responsibility for one’s decisions, having healthy relationships with others and
• Developing one’s own true gifts.
• Thinking about one’s environment and
• Deciding what one will and won’t accept.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Adolescent Girl Basic Skills
• Adolescent Girls Should have are:
• Ability to Separate Thinking from Feeling
• Making Conscious Choices
• Making and Holding Boundaries
• Defining Relationships
• Managing Pain
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Ability to Separate Thinking from Feeling
• It is particularly difficult for teenagers because their feelings are so intense.
• They are given to emotional reasoning, which is the belief that if something feels so, it must be so.
• Help the teenager process events by asking:
• Adolescent Aid:
• How do you feel about this?
• What do you think about this?
• Over time, girls learn that these are
• Two different processes and
• Both should be respected when making a decision.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Making Conscious Choices• Is a part of defining a self
• Encourage girls to take responsibility for their own lives
• Decisions need to be made slowly and carefully
• Parents, boyfriends, and peers may influence their decisions, but the final decisions are their own.
• This is important because they need to
• Own their lives and make their own decisions:
• Whether they are influenced by others or not.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Help Teenager Process Events and Ask:
• Does this decision keep you on the course you want to be on?
• In the beginning: the choices are small.
• Who shall I go out with this weekend?
• Shall I forgive a friend who hurt my feelings?
• Later the choices include decisions about family, schools, careers, sexuality and intimate relationships
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Making and Holding Boundaries
• Girls learn to make and enforce boundaries
• At the most basic level, this means
• They decide who touches their bodies.
• It means they set limits about
• Their time, Their activities, Their companions
• They can say, “No I will not do that.”
• They need to make position statements that are firm statements of what
• They Will and Will Not Do.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Defining Relationships
• Many girls are “empathy sick”
• Know more about others’ feelings than their own.
• Girls need to think about:
• What kinds of relationships are:
• In their Best Interest and
• To structure their relationships in accord with their ideas.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Defining Girls’ Space
• This is difficult because girls are socialized to let others do the defining.
• Girls are uncomfortable identifying and stating their needs, especially with boys and adults.
• They worry about not being nice or appearing selfish.
• Success in this area is exhilarating.
• With this skill they become the object of their own lives again.
• Once they have experienced the satisfaction of
• Defining relationships, they are eager to continue to develop this skill.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Managing Pain
• All the craziness in the world comes from
• People trying to escape suffering.
• All mixed up behavior comes from
• Unprocessed pain.• People drink, hit their
mates, and children, gamble, cut themselves with razors and even kill themselves
• To escape pain.
• Teach girls to sit with their pain,
• To listen to it for messages about their lives,
• To acknowledge and describe it rather than to run from it
• Teach them to write about pain
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Teach Girls To
• Talk about pain
• Express it through art (Draw, paint, color – let it out on paper or canvas or whatever)
• Express it through Dance and Music
• Girls need predictable ways to calm themselves.
• If they do not have positive ways like:
• Exercise, reading, hobbies or meditation
• They will have negative ways, like
• Eating, Drinking, drugs or self-mutilation.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Model Proper Channeling of Emotions
• Girls need help regulating their emotional reactions.
• Encourage them to rate their stress
• Challenge Extreme Statements like: This is the worst day ever. He is the worst teacher in the world.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Reframe Adolescent Perspective
• To be inclusive, not exclusive.
• Teach them to reframe their statements.
• Rate their stress on a scale from one to ten.
• Rate the teacher on a scale from one to ten.
• Reframe by asking:
• What did you learn from your experience?
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Adolescent Girls Need Validation
• Girls are socialized to look for praise and rewards and this keeps them other oriented and reactive.
• They are vulnerable to Depression as a result.
• If they happen to be in an environment where they are not validated.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Help Girls Reach Selfhood
• Ask them to record victories and bring these in to share with you
• Victories are actions that are in keeping with their long term goals.
• Once a girl learns to validate herself, she is less vulnerable to the world’s opinion.
• She can orient toward true Selfhood.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Adolescence is a Developmental Stage
• Accept the concept that it is a developmental stage instead of a
• Transitory phase would foster social guarantees (societal sanctions) for appropriate
• Customs, programs, associations, and, especially, ample time to assure adolescent development.
• Then vocational training centers, youth centers, extracurricular activities, social centers for loafing, bowling, or dancing, and
• Youth counseling or employment services with access to work opportunities would gain further relevance as basic social institutions for normal adolescent development.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
Redefining Adolescence
• These are valuable resources through which adolescents can have a
• Chance to define their behavior for themselves within
• The context of their community.
Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
References
• K. Borman & B. Schneider (Eds.), The adolescent years: Social influences and educational challenges. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press.
• Brown, B. B. (2004). Adolescents’ relationships with peers. In R. M. Lerner & L. Steinberg (Eds.), Handbook of adolescent psychology (2nd ed., pp. 363-394). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley and Sons.
• Buchmann, M. (1989). The script of life in modern society: Entry into adulthood in a changing world. Chicago: The University of Chicago Press.
• Byrnes, J. P. (2002). The development of decision-making. Journal of Adolescent Health, 31(Suppl. 1), 208-215.
• Cicourel, A. V., and Kitsuse, J. I. (1963). The educational decision-makers. Indianapolis, IN: Bobbs-Merrill.
• Coleman, J., Hendry, L. B., and Kloep, M. (2007). Adolescence and health. London: Wiley.
• Erikson, Erik H. (1962 ).''Youth: Fidelity and Diversity," Daedalus, Vol. XCI, Winter, pp. 5-27.
• Friedan, Betty. (1963). The Feminine Mystique. NY: WW Norton.• Gilligan, Carol. (1982). In a Different Voice. Cambridge: Harvard University Press.• Mead, Margaret. (1971). Coming of Age in Samoa. NY: Morrow.• Orbach, Susie. (1986) Fat is a Feminist Issue II. NY: Berkley Books.• Pipher, Mary. (1994) Reviving Ophelia. NY: Riverhead Books.Wafa Hozien, Ph.D
