Download - 132 Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary

The Fairly OddParents

“Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary”#132

Written By:Jack Thomas

First Draft: 8.8.01Second Draft:8.28.01

Nickelodeon Animation Studiosc 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved

The Fairly OddParents: “Fairy, Fairy Quite Contrary” second draft script by Jack Thomas 8.28.01

FADE IN:

EXT. - MOVIE THEATER- DAY

The MARQUEE reads "Crash Nebula: The Musical - Opens Today -Noon." TIMMY is first in a line of KIDS, that stretches around the corner. CHESTER and AJ are asleep in a TENT behind him. Timmy checks his COSMO and WANDA Watch. It's two minutes to Noon.

TIMMYTwo more minutes and I'll have the very first tickets for the very first showing of the Crash Nebula movie!

WANDAWhat's the big deal? You can watch him on TV.

TIMMYRight. But this is the movie!

WANDABut you can watch him every week on TV.

TIMMYBut this is the movie!

WANDAAnd TV is free.

TIMMYMOVIE!

Chester and AJ wake up.

CHESTER(groggy) But, Dad, I don't want government cheese for breakfast.

AJ nudges him fully awake.

AJIt is time? Did we succeed??

TIMMYYes my friends! Behold! After successfully camping out all night in front of the movie theatre and braving the elements! We are the very first ones...

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<POOF!> PULL BACK to reveal that REMY BUXAPLENTY is between Timmy and the ticket booth.

REMYBehind me.

TIMMY Hey! Who the heck are you?

He hands Timmy a BUSINESS CARD.

TIMMY (reading) Remy Buxaplenty. Richer than you. Will ever. Hope to be. (to Remy) I don't care how rich you are! It's not fair for you to cut. We were here first!

Remy flips the card over again. Timmy looks at the card quizzically and reads...

TIMMY(reading) That's odd. I'm first now.

ANGLE ON BOX OFFICE - The SIGN in the window is flipped around to read: "OPEN."

REMY (sigh) Finally. Tickets please.

TICKET GUYHow many?

REMYAll of them.

He pulls out a WAD OF CASH. The KIDS in line all cheer!

REMYPuh-lease! They're not for you unseemly urchins. I need all the extra seats for my piles of money.

Off Timmy's furious look we...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THEATER - LATER

Remy sips a jumbo DRINK and eats POPCORN, surrounded by PILES OF MONEY and GOLD and JEWELS as he watches the movie.

CRASH (O.S.)

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(singing sadly)The Venusians want me to save them, they think I'm a space hero with a plan, but how do I tell them that beneath this skin tight flight suit I'm-just-an Earth ma-a-a-n!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ARCADE - LATER

Timmy is sitting in an ARCADE GAME SEAT wearing a VIRTUAL REALITY HELMET playing a STREET FIGHTER TYPE VIDEO GAME. We see the seat next to him is empty. PUSH IN AND DISSOLVE TO:

INT. VIDEO GAME - Timmy's ON SCREEN CHARACTER blasting away with COSMO AND WANDA cannons.

TIMMYI don't understand how that rich kid got in line in front of me!

WANDAIt's okay, Timmy!

COSMOYeah, you're kicking virtual butt in this video game!

TIMMYYeah! And all I gotta do is get the high score and I'll finally get my name on the bathroom door!

PZZAP! He's wasted by another DIGITAL CHARACTER.

TIMMYAAA!

ON TIMMY who is now standing next to a DIGITAL REMY.

REMYI win.

Both of the Video Characters take off their helmets and REZZ out of the game...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VIDEO GAME - BACK IN REALITY

Timmy still sits in the video game seat. We see the seat next to him has been taken by Remy.

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The OWNER OF THE VIDEO ARCADE SWEEPS IN and shakes Remy's hand.

ARCADE OWNERCongratulations!

A News PHOTOGRAPHER steps in and FWASH! Takes Remy's picture.

ARCADE OWNERYou're the best player ever!

He sticks a NAME PLATE that reads "Remy Buxaplenty Player's Lounge" over the bathroom. Remy's face is in the graphic of a star under his name.

ON VIDEO GAME - CLOSE ON COSMO AND WANDA CHARACTERS who peer out from the video screen.

WANDAWell, that's a dubious honor.

COSMOWhat's dubious mean?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY'S BEDROOM -NIGHT

Timmy paces, annoyed. Wanda and Cosmo float-pace behind him.

TIMMYI don't get it guys. Something's not kosher.

COSMO(morphing himself into)

Bacon? Lobster? Ham hock?

TIMMYHow could the Remy kid be so much better than me in, in-

WANDAEverything?

TIMMYYeah. And he's everywhere.

WANDAI know one special place we can go where he could never ever be.

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TIMMYYeah?

Wanda holds up the Crimson Chin COMIC BOOK and we...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CHINCINNATI - COMIC BOOK TIME

PAN ACROSS The skyline of Chincinnati to where CLEFT, the Boy Chin Wonder (Timmy) stands on the top of a BUILDING, cape flowing behind him.

TIMMYAh! Just what I needed. Some simple good super hero-bashing-evil action!

CRASH! BAM! - On the BUILDING across the street, The CRIMSON CHIN is getting the worst of it from the GOLDEN GUT, the fat super villain who keeps bumping him nearer to the edge.

TIMMYThe Golden Gut! It looks like the Mandible of Might needs my help. Activate utility cleft.

Timmy presses the BUTTON on his Chin and a ROPE shoots out of his cleft and attaches itself to the roof.

The Chin gets belly-bumped off the roof of his building. He plummets to a sure death unless-

Cleft swings over the side. He swoops down toward his hero.

TIMMYDon't worry, C.C. I'll-

Remy, dressed like Cleft, swoops in and scoops up C.C.

REMYSave you.

Remy/Cleft gently sets the Mandible of Might on the pavement.

CRIMSON CHINWay to go, Cleft!

Timmy lands beside them.

CRIMSON CHIN(to Timmy) Oh Cleft, have you met my new sidekick, Cleft? No time for small talk we have a gut to bust.

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C.C. And Remy/Cleft zoom off. Timmy fumes.

TIMMY It's that Remy Buxaplenty kid!

COSMOThe kid who beat you at the video game, was first in line for the movie, and now has taken your place as sidekick to your favorite comic book hero? What an amazing string of coincidences!

TIMMYYeah, well, something's fishy and I'm gonna find out what! COME ON!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. - REMY'S MANSION - LATER THAT EVENING

It's the biggest MANSION ever. It makes Aaron Spelling's house look like a hut. Timmy is just outside the huge GATES that bear the Buxaplenty family CREST; a shield with the symbols for various currencies on it. POOF! Cosmo turns into BINOCULARS. Wanda turns into a parabolic MICROPHONE WITH EARPHONES.

TIMMYAwright, let's see how the rich folks live...

TIMMY'S POV through Binoculars - We see Remy and his PARENTS. But in the BG, we see a candy-colored FERRET with a little floating crown.

TIMMY (V.O.) Nothing abnormal here. Just two billionaire parents, leaving for the night...

INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Remy's parents, dripping with JEWELRY and richness, are still in the room.

MR. BUXAPLENTYWell, uh...uh...

MRS. BUXAPLENTYSon.

MR. BUXAPLENTYRight. Son. It certainly was thrilling spending our daily two minutes with you.

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MRS. BUXAPLENTYNow we're off to corner the silver market.

MR. AND MRS. BUXAPLENTYAgain! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

REMY(first ounce of kid we've seen)But... I haven't seen you in weeks! All I ever see are the butlers maids and servants!

MR. BUXAPLENTYAnd they're highly paid to love you! We love you too, ...uh..

MRS. BUXAPLENTYSon.

REMYCouldn't you guys stay a little longer. Just an extra minute.

MRS. BUXAPLENTY(softening)

Well, I suppose we could just deduct it from tomorrow's two minutes.

MR. BUXAPLENTYOh Luvy, you know how I love deductions but we have to go. The money is calling us!

Remy's Dad pulls out a wad of CASH and does a very bad bit of ventriloquism with it, pretending the money is talking.

MR. BUXAPLENTY (side of the mouth) Mr and Mrs. Buxaplenty! Where are you?

MRS. BUXAPLENTYComing money! Have a nice night with your strangely-colored, ferret, Honey!

A LIMOUSINE pulls into Remy's room and the Buxaplenty's hop in. The car takes off and Remy hangs his head. CAMERA PUSHES IN on the ferret…

COSMO BINOCULAR POINT OF VIEW - Cosmo zooms in on the Ferret. It wears a CROWN.

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TIMMY (V.O.)Wait a minute!

FLASHBACK! In his mind, Timmy sees Remy's MONEY CLIP at the movie theater. Same color as the ferret, with a crown. His ROCKET SHIP in the arcade game. Same color, crown on the side.

TIMMYI think I know how Remy is pulling all this stuff off!

Cosmo and Wanda revert to their true form.

COSMODoes it rhyme with "Scary Mod-mare-ment?"

TIMMYExactly! Remy Buxaplenty has a Fairy Godparent!!

COSMOFinally, he gets it.

TIMMYYou knew?

Wanda poofs in "DA RULES."

WANDASorry, Timmy. It's in "Da Rules." We can't tell you about other kids with Fairy Godparents. You have to figure it out on your own.

TIMMYThat's a dumb rule. Do you know this fairy?

WANDANO! No! Nope! Not at all. No idea. Clueless.

Cosmo and Timmy exchange a suspicious look.

TIMMYWanda, I wish you would tell me who he is.

WANDAOh, okay. His name is Juandissimo Magnifico.

TIMMYWho's...Juandissimo Magnifico?

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WANDAUh... my ex-boyfriend.

Timmy turns to Cosmo who is turning totally GREEN with envy.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL we have been watching this entire scene through Remy's giant telescope.

INT. - REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Remy looks up from the EYEPIECE.

REMYSo, Turner has Godparents too. Interesting.

POOF! Remy 's ferret turns into the swaggering, hunky fairy -- JUANDISSIMO MAGNIFICO. He lifts WEIGHTS, does various other exercises, and constantly checks his appearance as he speaks.

JUANDISSIMOYes, It is true. Timmy is serviced by the former love of my life, Wanda, and her warrior husband, Cosmo. An unpredictable fairy who fights like a reed in the face of a hurricane.

REMYBut...I'm Remy Buxaplenty and I get whatever I want!! I want to be the only kid with Fairy Godparents!! I wish his Godparents were gone!!!

POOF! "DA RULES" appear again.

JUANDISSIMOIt cannot be done. Fairies cannot be wished away by other fairies... for if they could, they would be scattered aimlessly, like waves against the sandy beach.

CUT TO:

OUTSIDE - ON TIMMY COSMO AND WANDA

TIMMYCosmo, aren't you jealous of this Juandissimo guy?

COSMOWhy? I got the girl.

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WANDAThat's a remarkably intelligent and mature way to think about it.

COSMOIt is? Then I changed my mind. I am jealous!

INT. - REMY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME

REMYHow do I make his godparents go away?

JUANDISSIMOThey can only be wished away by their god-kid, or...

He <POOFS!> Up a MIRROR and admires himself.

JUANDISSIMO...oh Heaven, who are you, to have blessed me with these looks...(lingering on himself)...or they can be lost in a magical duel we creatively call..."The Magical Duel."

REMY"The Magical Duel?"

JUANDISSIMOA contest. Godparent against Godparent. Winner keeps his fairies, loser forgets he ever had them. It is a harsh and unseemly way to settle a rivalry.

REMYYou're not afraid of this Cosmo, are you?

JUANDISSIMOI fear no fairy!! But Cosmo! He can be a cunning and calculating foe.

CUT TO:

EXT. - REMY'S FRONT DOOR - SAME TIME

Timmy and Wanda watch Cosmo as he picks his toes with a BBQ FORK. He pulls a KIELBASA SAUSAGE from between his toes.

COSMO Awright! Lunch!

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TIMMYGuys. Disguise yourselves!!

POOF! They change into POTTED PLANTS next to the doorway. Timmy rings the doorbell, which plays "We're In the Money." REMY'S BUTLER opens the door.

BUTLERYes?

TIMMYHi. I'm here to play. I'm one of Remy's friends.

The Butler sneers.

TIMMYHe's payin' me five bucks an hour to be his buddy. Move it, Pal. I'm on the clock.

Timmy pushes past the Butler and into the house.

CUT TO:

INT. REMY'S ROOM - SAME TIME

Timmy enters. Remy - and his ferret - are waiting.

REMY(totally sweet)

TURNER! COME IN!

The butler closes the door behind him. As soon as he does, Timmy and Remy glare at each other like the arch-enemies they are.

REMY(ala "Newman") Turner.

TIMMYBuxaplenty.

REMYLet's cut to the chase. You know I have a fairy Godparent.

POOF! Juandissimo appears.

REMY I know you have fairy godparents.

POOF! Cosmo and Wanda appear in form. Juandissimo kisses Wanda's hand.

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JUANDISSIMOWanda. My sweet. I have missed you, as the sun misses the dawn...

WANDAWell, that's all very flattering--

COSMO--But that's my hand you're kissing! Well, technically it's her hand, but, you know, being married to her and all...I mean...in a court of law...

<POOF!> Juandissimo turns Cosmo into a TURTLE. His wand falls just out of his reach.

JUANDISSIMO(to Remy re:Cosmo) You see how he attacks with words? I am lucky to be alive!!!

COSMOWhen I get my wand, oh you are in for it! Arrgh!!!

The Cosmo turtle very slowly, almost imperceptibly, moves toward his wand. Throughout the rest of the conversation, the Cosmo turtle keeps advancing. Slowly.

REMYTurner, the great part of being rich is having the best of everything. Look around. My solid gold TV. My limited edition Chip Skylark...

TIMMYPoster?

REMYAh...no.

CHIP SKYLARK comes alive from what appeared to be a POSTER. He waves from his alcove on the wall then resumes his pose.

REMYYou see my problem? You have two fairy godparents. I only have one. That just won't do. (pulls out a wad of cash) So, how much will it take for me to get you to wish away your fairy godparents?

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TIMMYForget it, Buxaplenty. Just because you're rich doesn't mean you get everything you want.

REMYI want your hat.

TIMMYNo way.

REMYFifty bucks.

TIMMYDone!

Timmy gives Remy his hat.

REMY(to Juandissimo) Burn this.

Juandissimo shoots FIRE at the hat, totally incinerating it.

TIMMY(matter of fact)

Wish I had another hat!

POOF! Wanda poofs ANOTHER HAT onto Timmy's head. Juandissimo poofs the FIFTY BUCKS back into Remy's hand.

WANDA Stalemate!

TIMMYWhich means I am keeping my godparents and there is nothing you can do about it. Let's go.

REMYDon't you turn your back on me. Or I'll call "Magical Duel."

Wanda and Juandissimo each react with horror. Even the turtle Cosmo, stops and turns his head. Slowly.

TIMMYWhatever.

REMY(enraged)

Don't you walk away from me! I'm better

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than you. Magical Duel Magical Duel! I call Magical Duel!!!!

JUANDISSIMOYes, I heard you the first time.

Juandissimo raises his wand. He turns to Wanda.

JUANDISSIMONote the perfect sculpting of my triceps. They should call them five-ceps!

The Cosmo turtle has barely even moved.

COSMO TURTLERevenge! REVENGE!!

Juandissimo's wand GLOWS and <POOF!> They're all gone!!

CUT TO:

EXT. FAIRY WORLD - DAY - CAMERA PUSHES IN AS WE...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. FAIRYWORLD MAIN STREET

The sidewalks are filled with FAIRY SPECTATORS.

FAIRIESDuel! Duel!!!

Everyone has been transported. Cosmo is back to normal. JORGEN VON STRANGLE now stands between the two teams. Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda vs. Remy and Juandissimo.

TIMMYWhat's going on?

WANDARemy challenged you to "The Magical Duel" It's a battle of kids with godparents and only one kid gets to keep them when it's over!

ON JORGEN - who addresses the crowd.

JORGENPuny Fairies and gentlemen, prepare for magical battle!

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POOF! Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda stand toe to toe with Juandissimo and Remy.

JORGEN These are the rules! Winner takes all. Loser won't recall! Whoever wins two out of three rounds, keeps his fairies and, as stated in "Da Rules," the other kid won't remember he ever had any.

WANDASo there's absolutely no pressure!

JUANDISSIMOYour voice. It is like the chorus of a thousand angels.

COSMOYeah, well, my fist is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand...

<POOF!> Juandissimo turns Cosmo into another TURTLE, who moves even more slowly than before.

COSMOYour wand is mine!!!!!!

BACK ON JORGEN

JORGEN(loud, through the mic) Challenge One. Godparents must be able to rescue their kids from any danger! In this case...a giant ape!!!

ZWANG! Remy is held by a giant APE at the top of some STEPS.

JUANDISSIMOHave no fear...

The Cosmo turtle crawls with blood lust in his eyes towards his wand.

COSMOYou will perish in flame!!!!

BACK ON REMY AND JUANDISSIMO -- As Juandissimo tries to get to him, The ape rolls BARRELS down at them. The whole scene looks like, well, you know... Donkey Kong.

JUANDISSIMO

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There is only one way to soothe a savage beast...

POOF! Juandissimo is now dressed in all white, holding a mariachi GUITAR. He SWOOPS up to the ape and begins doing a hot Latin number.

WANDAYou're going to sing?

JUANDISSIMOI must. It is who I am. It is the magic of my soul.

Juandissimo breaks into a sassy tune, as the ape begins shaking Remy as though he were a Maraca. MONEY flies everywhere as he's shook.

WANDAUh...how exactly does this help your godchild?

JUANDISSIMOQuiet, woman! I am being sexy!!

ON REMY, being shaken around like a toy.

REMYAAAAA!

ON TIMMY, with Cosmo and Wanda

TIMMYThis rocks!

ON JORGEN - who looks at his WATCH and then...BZZZT!

JORGENThe handsome fairy has failed to rescue his godchild! But he is still very sexy!

ANGLE ON GIANT APE -<POOF!> Remy disappears and in his place <ZWANG>! Timmy is now being held and shaken by the ape.

TIMMYAAAAAAAA! This no longer rocks! Make it stop!

Wanda <POOFS!> Cosmo back to normal.

WANDAWe've got to help Timmy!

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COSMOI need some thinkin' food!

Cosmo conjures up a BANANA, then looks OS. The ape runs into frame, grabs the banana, swaps it out with Timmy and then leaps OS. Cosmo is now holding Timmy.

WANDAGood job, Honey, distracting that ape.

Cosmo turns and realizes... He's holding Timmy.

COSMOHuh? HEY! THAT MONKEY ATE MY BANANA!

Juandissimo appears next to Cosmo.

JUANDISSIMOI salute your genius, my friend, but you are no match for me.

Cosmo changes into an exact replica of Juandissimo.

COSMOHow about now?

ON JORGEN

JORGENThe puny fairy has rescued his godchild!! Timmy Turner and his fairies win round one!

ZWANG!

EXT. PARK - ONE FAIRY SECOND LATER

An ADULT is watching a small TREE ON FIRE.

JORGENChallenge Two. The child must now help the godparents by distracting a human adult so they don't see them magically douse this fire. Timmy Turner, you go first. NOW!

TIMMYHey look a UFO!

No reaction from the adult. Timmy SKATEBOARDS past, doing a handstand.

TIMMY

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Hey, look at me!

The guy keeps staring at the fire.

TIMMYHey Mister, wanna see a card trick?

Timmy tries to fan out a deck of CARDS. They fly everywhere. Some catch on fire and spread it.

TIMMYUh oh.

JORGENThis is pathetic. We will end this before you burn Fairyworld to the ground. Next child.

SFX: BZZT! Timmy Poofs out. Remy Poofs in. He thinks for a second, then pulls a wad of CASH.

REMYHey, Pal. This yours?

ADULTWhy... Yes!

Remy throws the money like a bone. The adult instantly bolts after it like a dog. Juandissimo floats over the fire and creates a giant WATER BUCKET and douses it.

JORGENRound Two to Remy Buxaplenty!

TIMMYYou only won because you're rich!

REMYAnd?

TIMMYLook... we can call this a draw. Right now! I don't care if you have Godparents, Remy!

REMYBUT I CARE IF YOU DO! My parents are never home! They're too busy being rich! I never get to see them! Why should you get real parents AND Godparents that love you when I don't?

Remy storms off. Timmy looks sadly at Remy's exit as Cosmo pops in.

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COSMOWow. I guess all the money in the world can't buy you the love of your parents.

REMY(heard him) I just said that.

TIMMY(whispering) Yeah. And we should do something to help him... (beat)AFTER WE KICK HIS BUTT!!!!

Wanda confronts Juandissimo.

WANDAOh Juandissimo, how can you be a part of this? You can't take us away from Timmy! Have you no heart?

JUANDISSIMOI did...once. Now it is cold, as the ice in the... (beat) Zounds, I am as bereft of metaphors as the desert is bereft of life. Hey! That was a metaphor. I'm back!

JORGENIt is time for the tie breaker!

ZWANG! They are transported to-

EXT. FAIRYWORLD ZOO

Lots of ODDLY SHAPED CAGES containing rabbits, white tigers, doves. ALL THE ANIMALS MAGICIANS USE.

JORGENThis is a team event. Each boy will describe an imaginary animal and then their Godparents will turn him into that animal. You have twenty seconds starting ten seconds ago.

TIMMYNo problem. I've got a pretty good imagination.

ON REMY

REMY

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Imagination? What do I need with that? I'm rich. I've got something even better. Consultants!

He whips out a CELL PHONE.

ON TIMMY

TIMMYI gotta think of something cool... Something amazing... uh wish... For... For... (long beat) Oh no!

WANDATimmy? What's wrong?

TIMMYI'm having wisher's block!

JORGENFive! Four!

ON REMY - His cell phone reads "Out of Area."

REMYOh no!

JORGENThree! Two!

WANDACome on Timmy! You only have seconds left! If you don't think of something amazing, we'll be gone for good!

JORGENOne!

TIMMYYou guys know me! Just -

TIMMY/REMYTake your best shot!

JUANDISSIMO(battle cry)

YOU...WILL...BE...GORGEOUS!!!!! Although, not as gorgeous as I.

COSMOHere goes nuthin'!

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ZWANG! Both fairies zap their kids.

ON THE AUDIENCE

AUDIENCEGASP!!!

ON TIMMY - He is now THE MOST AMAZING FANTASY ANIMAL EVER wearing a pink hat! (Designers, start your pencils.)

PAN OVER TO REMY - Yes. He is a TURTLE. But a very handsome turtle.

COSMOAnother turtle?

JUANDISSIMOIt is a tortoise you fool, can you not see the difference?

JORGENI can see that you lose.

JUANDISSIMOWhat can I say? I am a lover not a great imaginer.

COSMOWhattaya know? In my imagination I am a great lover.

REMYI want a do-over.

JORGENSilly little tortoise boy, you will never defeat the love between Timmy Turner and his godparents! That is how they could anticipate what he wanted and create this magnificent, yet much-weaker-than-I, imaginary beast!

POP! Remy pops back to normal. He, for the first time, looks like a sad little kid.

TIMMYDude, It's not that bad. You're a ga- billionaire!

REMYI guess.

Jorgen raises his wand.

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JORGENFarewell, Remy Buxaplenty, you have a godparent no more.

He zaps him away.

JUANDISSIMOI too must go. You have won this round, Cosmo. But as the old story goes, the race is not always to the swift. Eh, my friend?

He poofs out.

COSMOWhat is it with that guy and turtles?

WANDATimmy, what's wrong?

TIMMYI feel sort of sorry for Remy. I WISH I COULD HELP HIM.

WANDA AND COSMOWe can do that.

TIMMYI wish Remy's parents had more time to spend with him!

Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands, and...

POOF TO:

EXT. - A CLEAR BLUE SKY - DAY

A JET flies through scene. Suddenly, BOOM! It explodes. REMY and HIS PARENTS float safely away on PARACHUTES MADE OF CASH.

MR. BUXAPLENTYGot out just in time.

MRS. BUXAPLENTYIt's a good thing that--

MR. BUXAPLENTYOur son.

MRS. BUXAPLENTYRight. Our son. Saw that warning light.

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They pat him on the head.

MR. BUXAPLENTYGood job, Son.

Remy beams. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS as they land on the edge of a desert ISLAND. Remy picks up a a sharp STICK.

REMYWell, we could be here a while.

MR. BUXAPLENTYI'll count the money!

MRS. BUXAPLENTYAnd I'll count the money!

REMYAnd I'll find us something to eat!

Remy trips on something and falls face first into the beach. When he opens his eyes he sees - A JUANDISSIMO TURTLE.

REMYHmmm. You seem familiar. Like... I knew you in a previous life or something.

Remy stands for a moment, looks wistful and then...

REMYAh well. Who wants Turtle for lunch?

ON THE BUXAPLENTYS - who have made HUTS out of their money.

MRS. BUXAPLENTYWe do!

MR. BUXAPLENTYGood job! (to Ms. Buxaplenty) I do believe this "son" creature just may come in handy!

Remy lifts his stick and takes a bead on Juandissimo.

JUANDISSIMONo! I too sexy for lunch! NO. NO! NO!!!!

CUT TO: BLACK

JUANDISSIMO (O.S.)I blame Cosmo.

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COSMO (O.S.)Get in line!

FADE OUT... THE END

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