doctor devilish devious deed's henchmen on a wednesday afternoon

7/29/2019 Doctor Devilish Devious Deed's Henchmen on a Wednesday Afternoon

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Doctor Devilish Devious Deeds Henchmen on a WednesdayAfternoon

By

Dan Finnen

Copyright 2013 by Dan Finnen This script is free to stageor shoot with writtenpermission. Just send me an

email at info (at)danfinnen.com for the rights.


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FADE IN:

INT. DOCTOR DEVILISH DEVIOUS DEEDS EVIL LAIR

Two evil henchmen wearing particularly evil clothing stand

guard in front of a evil missile in a peculiarly evilfactory.

It is, however, their lunch break.

ONEGah! Baloney!

TWOI thought you told her you didntlike baloney.

ONE

I did.

TWOHm.

ONETrade?

TWOHm.

ONEWhat you got?

TWO...Ill trade you...

ONEWhat do you have?

TWO...If you trade blindly.

ONEWhat is it?

TWOIm not telling you!

ONEAh.


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2.

TWOYes.

ONEHm.

TWO

Terms of the trade.

ONEI cant know what it is...

TWOIf you want to trade...

ONEBlindly...

TWOThis is how it has to be.

Pause.

ONEFine.

They trade.

ONE (contd)WHAT?

TWOBaloney!

ONEWhat is this?

TWOWhat?

ONEThis!

TWOOh. Thats rat meat.

ONEOh.

TWOYeah.

Pause.


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3.

ONEIs it good?

TWOMy wife makes tasty rat meat.

ONEWhere do you even get enough meatoff a rat for a sandwich?

TWOSewer rats are like littlechickens, they grow about a footlong and theyre full of tendermeat. Just ignore the radioactiveglow.

ONETasty.

TWOIndeed. Good trade.

ONEWait. If rat meat is so tasty, whydid you trade me for baloney, whichtastes terrible?

TWOMaybe its just because Im a goodperson.

Pause.

ONEYou work here. There is no way.

TWOWhy cant a good person work here?

ONEIn Doctor Devilish Devious Deedssecret lab?

TWOSo what?

ONE...Wha!?

TWOThis is where I work. There was anad in the paper. I answered it. I

(MORE)


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4.

TWO (contd)am employed. I have two and a halfkids. I put my parents in a homebecause I could. I have a dog thathas impacted bowels. I A M APRODUCTIVE MIDDLE CLASS CITIZEN.

Pause.

Some angry eating occurs on Twos behalf.

ONEYOU WORK FOR DOCTOR DEVILISHDEVIOUS DEEDS. You know what wereguarding?

TWOA missile.

ONEDo you know what it does?

TWOBlows stuff up.

ONEIt is specially designed to ONLYblow up ADORABLE BRITISH ORPHANSand PUPPIES!

TWOWHAT!?

ONESee?

TWOThats... Thats so... devilishlydevious!

ONEExactly!

TWOSo... evil...

ONEYes.

TWOHowever:


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5.

ONEWhat.

TWOI did not make the missile. I guardit.

ONEHows that different?

TWOWho are we guarding it from? Maybewere guarding it from being used.

ONEYOURE GUARDING IT SO IT CAN BEUSED!

TWO

MAYBE I DONT BELIEVE THAT!

ONEYOU ARE AN EVIL MINION!

TWOI am a HUMAN BEING! I COUNT!

ONEYOU ARE CANNON FODDER!

TWONo! No! NO! I AM SPECIAL!

Pause.

Two bursts into tears.

One stares.

The tears just keep coming.

One goes to comfort two.

ONECmon you know I didnt mean that.You are an individual. Look, onlywe were selected for this secretmission! See? Youre getting prettyhigh on the corporate ladder!

TWO(through the last of his/hertears.)

(MORE)


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6.

TWO (contd)...Yeah... Yeah.

ONEPerk up man. We got a missile toguard.

TWOYeah... thanks... youre a goodfriend.

ONERight back at you pal.

TWOWhew, that was quite a cry.

ONEYup.

TWOWhew.

Pause.

Suddenly, DOCTOR DEVILISH DEVIOUS DEEDS runs past them witha maliciously evil looking gadget in his hands. The doctorshoots it at a SECRET AGENT that is pursuing him.

The secret agent arrives at the henchmen, who havent evenreacted to the situation yet. The secret agent promptlypunches one in the face and throws him off the platform and

down into a pit of fire, then kicks two and throws him/herover as well. As soon as this is done the agent exits afterthe doctor to save the world.

Silence.

It appears this scene is over.

FADE OUT.

doctor devilish devious deed's henchmen on a wednesday afternoon

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