(Dis)orderShaina Bailey

I never saw how anyone could finish things out of order. I always believed everything needed a beginning, a middle, and an endingand that they had to be done and seen in that order. But what I didn't realize until very recently was that there are multiple beginnings

that can happen right in the middleor that can begin after an ending.

I realized that there is no order. No right way things should be done. if everything truly had a place in this world, people would always try looking for that place.

But none of us know where our places are. No, we aren't the perfect stories we make up in our heads; the ones where you fall in love and with that person is the one place where you should be--At least not to me. Are we really only meant for one thing? And is that one thing the end? Is that because no one knows of what's beyond that final moment or is it because we want an ending to this? Whatever this is. Well I refuse to believe that I have just one purpose. I refuse to believe I have an ending.

I never

saw how

anyone could

finish things

out of

order.

I always believed everything needed a beginning, a middle, and an endingand that they had to be done and seen in that order. But what I didn’t realize until very recently was that there are multiple beginnings

that can happen right in the middle or that can begin after an ending.

I realized that there is no order.

No right way things should be done. If everything truly had a place in this world, people would always try looking for that place.

But none of us know where our places are.

No, we aren’t the perfect stories we make up in our heads; the ones where you fall in love and with that person is the one place where you should be –At least not to me.

Are we only meant for one thing? And is that one thing the end? Is that because no one knows of what’s beyond that final moment or is it because we want an ending to this?Whatever this is.

Well I refuse to believe that I have just one purpose. I refuse to believe I have an ending.

…

About the Piece

This piece was written in the moment. It's a very different piece than what I started out with. It started out as an almost incomplete thought and then we came up with the idea to break the piece up and to demonstrate disorder. Choosing to add the audio aspect of the project was my favorite part because it gives each line a specific tone. Breaking it up like we chose to gave the piece a completely different feel than it did when it was all together. I think this piece shows my weakness to accept the fact that things are the way they are but also shows how I choose to see and adapt to things.

About UsShaina:

Working with Sharon has improved and brought out so many things within me that I didn't know existed. I never expected to ever record audio in crowded Time Square and not even care about who heard me. Meeting up with her at places I usually just pass by and never even think about going into as well as writing different pieces besides poetry has made me a more curious and well-rounded person. I don't think I would have ever made this much progress, as a writer and a person, without her, and I'm extremely thankful for that.

Sharon:

Working with Shaina gave me a sense of poetic bravery. I am most often drawn to creative nonfiction

writing, especially memoir, but my work took on a new lyricism as we

continued to meet. It was inspiring to see Shaina trying out new genres, including satire and

personal essay, and this pushed me to smash through my comfort

barrier into the unknown. Some of our digital workshops

(“dorkshops”) were humbling. I’m used to teaching writing, but

experimenting with HTML/CSS (through TextWrangler), Photoshop,

and Audacity was almost like learning a new language. It's good

to remember what being a beginner feels like!