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Delete this slide before using this presentation! Please remember to tell the audience you will be talking about incidents that have happened and giving examples where you may be referring to the female as the victim and the male as the abuser. This does not mean Someplace Safe believes all victims are females and all abusers are males, it is just an example that is being used. Some examples may also refer to males as the victim and females as the abuser. This does not mean Someplace Safe believes all victims are males and all abusers female. Someplace Safe provides services to all victims of crime. Please remember to delete this slide before printing handouts. Please begin this PowerPoint on slide 2. www.someplacesafe.info

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Healthy Relationships Diane Kittelson, Director of Training & Education Friday, April 18, 2014 www.someplacesafe.info

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Our Mission To Create a Safer World for Everyone, We Work to Eliminate Violence and Oppression through Advocacy, Education and Services Our Vision Someplace Safe for Everyone www.someplacesafe.info

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Safety Someplace Safe provides emergency services and support for victims of violence, and their families. We collaborate with systems professionals to create safe, healthy communities. Options Someplace Safe offers information and resources to individuals utilizing our services. We create opportunities for volunteers, donors and supporters to get involved. Hope Someplace Safe empowers survivors to live a violence free life. We inspire social change through advocacy, education and awareness. Your support makes this all possible! www.someplacesafe.info

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Agency History Originally opened as Region IV Council on Domestic Violence, an emergency Shelter for victims of domestic violence in 1979 (located in Fergus Falls) Beginning in 1990, began to open Advocacy offices to provide crime victim services locally. Advocacy Offices are now open in Big Stone, Douglas, Grant, Otter Tail (2 locations), Pope, Stevens, Traverse, Wadena and Wilkin Counties Beginning in 1993, we began to open Parenting Time Centers to assist children and families. PTCs are located in Fergus Falls, Glenwood, Morris, Ortonville, and Perham In 2003, we changed our name to Someplace Safe to better reflect our expanding programming and services. June 2010, opened the Someplace Safe Thrift Store in Alexandria. In August 2013 added another location in Morris. September 2012 ceased operation of the Someplace Safe Shelter and implemented the S.T.E.P.S. program. www.someplacesafe.info

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Someplace Safe Locations 9 Counties 10 Advocacy Offices 5 Parenting Time Centers 2 Thrift Stores Administration 9 Counties 10 Advocacy Offices 5 Parenting Time Centers 2 Thrift Stores Administration www.someplacesafe.info

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Who Someplace Safe Serves Victims of crime Including victims and survivors of domestic violence, sexual violence, and other crimes Families General Public/Communities Systems Professionals www.someplacesafe.info

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Someplace Safe Programs Advocacy Programs Domestic Violence Sexual Assault General Crimes Short Term Emergency Placement Services (S.T.E.P.S.) Parenting Time Centers Thrift Stores www.someplacesafe.info

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24-Hour Crisis Line For help at any time, call a 24-Hour hotline: Someplace Safe Crisis Line: 1-800-974-3359 Minnesota Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-866-223-1111 National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY: 1-800-787-3224 If you are in immediate danger, call 911. www.someplacesafe.info

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Annual Agency Numbers 4,500 Individuals receive services. Approximately 1,000 Nights of Safety are provided to crime victims annually. Over 12,000 people benefit from Community Education annually. www.someplacesafe.info

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Annual Agency Numbers Parenting Time Centers provide services to over 500 children annually through more than 1,100 exchanges and 900 supervised visits! www.someplacesafe.info

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Annual Agency Numbers Our Thrift Stores provide in excess of 200 vouchers annually to help Someplace Safe clients and other community organizations! Over 600 volunteers donate at least 10,000 hours of service agency-wide each year Nearly $245,000 worth of time!

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2013 Otter Tail Total 1,908 701 Domestic Violence 291 Sexual Assault 916 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Douglas Total 1,005 569 Domestic Violence 87 Sexual Assault 349 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Grant Total - 71 56 Domestic Violence 10 Sexual Assault 5 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Pope Total - 179 141 Domestic Violence 17 Sexual Assault 21 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Stevens Total - 116 87 Domestic Violence 15 Sexual Assault 14 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Traverse Total - 62 44 Domestic Violence 4 Sexual Assault 14 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Wadena Total - 147 69 Domestic Violence 11 Sexual Assault 67 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Wilkin Total - 162 110 Domestic Violence 13 Sexual Assault 39 General Crimes www.someplacesafe.info

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2013 Big Stone Total 89 Domestic Violence www.someplacesafe.info

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Equality Wheel www.someplacesafe.info

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Open Communication Being able to express your feelings and opinions Knowing it is okay to disagree Working together for mutually satisfying solutions: Clarifying issues Specifying feelings Take responsibility for hurtful actions or words Make needed changes www.someplacesafe.info

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Honesty & Accountability Accepting responsibility to self. Acknowledging past use of violence. Admitting when you are wrong. Communicating openly and honestly. Not making excuses for your own or your partners actions. www.someplacesafe.info

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Economic Partnership Making money decisions together Making sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements Sharing dating expenses Accepting both partners need to hold a job www.someplacesafe.info

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Respect Each person is valued for who they are and what they bring to a relationship Treat the other person as if he/she is of value Find ways to appreciate them for who they are Pay attention to your partner Accept and respect differences in thoughts, feelings, values etc. Listening non-judgmentally Being emotionally affirming and understanding www.someplacesafe.info

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Negotiation & Fairness Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict Finding solutions that are agreeable to both people Acknowledging your wants and needs are just as valid as your partners You dont have to agree to order to respect your partner Understanding differences in opinion www.someplacesafe.info

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Shared Responsibility Making decisions together Splitting or alternating costs on dates Being mindful of the others needs as well as your own Doing things for each other Going places you both enjoy Giving as much as you receive www.someplacesafe.info

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Shared Power Each person has an equal say in the relationship One person may have more input in a specific area due to more information or experience in the area Each is mindful of the others needs and wants Each partner views themselves as a part of a couple Brings each person more happiness Allows each partner to be stronger www.someplacesafe.info

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Trust & Support Being supportive and wanting the best for your partner Being able to rely on your partner Offering encouragement when necessary Being okay with your partner having different friends www.someplacesafe.info

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Trust & Support continued Being able to let barriers down without fear of negative reactions from the other Each is able to be open to what the other person is feeling The couple feels secure sharing private aspects of each others thoughts & feelings since couple feels secure there is no jealousy or possessiveness www.someplacesafe.info

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Non-Threatening Behavior Talking and acting so that each person feels safe & comfortable expressing her/himself and doing things www.someplacesafe.info

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Personal Integrity Partners are able to maintain beliefs and sense of self as well as offer time & attention to the relationship Partners have some independence & privacy and care about each others quality of life. Working on a relationship always begins with working on ourselves www.someplacesafe.info

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Intimacy Respecting your partners boundaries Not pressuring your partner Respecting each others privacy Being faithful www.someplacesafe.info

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Physical Affection Holding hands Hugging Kissing Sitting with your arm on your partners shoulder Respecting each others right to say no www.someplacesafe.info

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6 Tips for Setting Your Personal and Professional Boundaries 1.Describe the problem and be specific 2.Be positive and avoid put-downs 3.Identify and express your limits 4.Relate the consequences of the violation 5.Get the other partys input. Listen 6.Set the limit and follow through www.someplacesafe.info

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Advocacy Offices Located in local communities providing services to victims of crime Services Include: Medical Advocacy Criminal Justice Advocacy Civil Legal Advocacy Information and Referral Safety Planning www.someplacesafe.info

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Advocacy Office Locations Ortonville Alexandria Elbow Lake Fergus Falls Perham Glenwood Morris Wheaton Wadena Breckenridge www.someplacesafe.info

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Parenting Time Centers Supervised Parenting Time Safe Exchanges Contact Exchanges Skype Visits Scheduling Supervised Phone Calls www.someplacesafe.info

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Parenting Time Centers Fergus Falls Glenwood Morris Ortonville Perham www.someplacesafe.info

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Thrift Stores Mission We exist as Viable Cornerstones to Raise Funds and Awareness for Someplace Safe services, Engage Communities, Recycle usable goods, and Provide Employment and Volunteer Opportunities Vouchers Donations Partnerships Alexandria Morris www.someplacesafe.info

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Someplace Safe Volunteers Large Group Volunteering Special Event Volunteers Ongoing & Long-Term Volunteers Crisis Line Volunteers Volunteer Advocates or Parenting Time Center Staff Monthly Volunteer Orientations: Alexandria Fergus Falls Morris For more information or to register for a volunteer orientation go to: www.someplacesafe.info/volunteers www.someplacesafe.info

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Victim & Donation Needs Personal Care Items Shampoo/Conditioner Diapers Paper Products Household Items Items in good condition to set up a new household Furniture Douglas, Pope, or Otter Tail Counties Gift Cards Gas, Phone, Etc. www.someplacesafe.info

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Thank You! PO Box 815 Fergus Falls MN 56538 320-287-1169 volunteer@someplacesafe.info www.someplacesafe.info

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References Characteristics of a Healthy, Functional Romantic Relationship http://www.campbell.edu/pdf/counselingservices/cha racteristics-of-healthy-romantic-relationships.pdf Psychology Today, Relationship Rules http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200410/relationship-rules www.someplacesafe.info