debunking friendships
TRANSCRIPT
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Debunking FriendshipsBY KUMIKO SASA
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Characterization of men and women’s
Same-Sex friendshipsFemales Males
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Self-Disclosure: Affectively or Instrumentally Oriented
Communication
Women- Affective
• intimate, emotional, caring and communal (Watson 2012)
• They are told to value interconnectedness and nurturance. (Felmlee, Sweet and Sinclair 2012)
• “Women are rated more highly than men on communal attributes such as emotional expressiveness, nurturance, interpersonal sensitivity, kindness, and responsiveness” (Ridgeway 2011:58)
• Communication through communication
Men- Instrumental
• Men are portrayed as less emotional and more agentic.
• They are taught to be more competitive, independent and aggressive (Felmlee, Sweet and Sinclair 2012)
• “Men are rated more highly than women on agentic qualities such as instrumental competence, assertiveness, confidence, independence, forcefulness, and dominance” (Ridgeway 2011:58).
• Communication through activities
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“In that sense, they are descriptive in
nature, providing a thumbnail sketch of what people take to be the way men and women behave on average. But as the rules of the gender
game, gender stereotypes have a
prescriptive quality as well” (Ridgeway
2011:58).
Gender differences in the Functions of Same-Sex
Friendships
Females:- Function: maintaining and building social networks- High value on relations with others- Higher expectations on same-sex friends placed
with regards to intimacy, mutual activities and loyalty
- Engagement = communal
Males:- Function: way to promote individuality,
status, and reputation (Watson 2012)- Describe themselves more in terms of
independence- Engagement=activities
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Are men’s and women’s same-sex friendships polar opposites?
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Not
necessarily!!!
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How do they appear to be so different?
-Gender as something
we do
• “differences in gender role socialization produce stable differences in how gossip is used in the context of friendship” (Watson 2012:495).
• Males– Gossip: act of business & individuality– Individualistic
• Females– Gossip: build social networks & intrasexual
competition
Gender Differences in gossip tendencies and self-disclosure
Self-disclosure (interesting data regarding men)- Bowman
(2008)
- They do self-disclose! Just less about negative information when they identify themselves more with a masculine gender orientation
- Also..
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CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?
The answer is yes, but once again with complexities!
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Friends maybe….Romance most likely!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sllQdfTCFg
Greatest Movie Quotes "When Harry Met Sally" Guys can't be friends with girls.
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{ Challenges }Three main challenges:1. Emotional
Bond2. Public
Presentation3. Sexual
challenge
Emotional Bond:- Frequent contact- Disclosure of past
relationships
Public Presentation:- Maintaining a balance of partaking in public and private activites
Sexual Challenge: (O’meara)- Have to
successfully develop a definition of the type of love they experience
- 1. Friendship - 2. platonic love- 3. Friendship
love- 4. Physical love- 5. Romantic
love
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For MEN: For WOMEN:
- Men in this relationship receive more social support and emotional gratification than they do in their same-sex friendships
- Freer to express more feminine qualities
- Easier to be more competitive- Provided an “objective
perspective” that same-sex friendships couldn’t provide
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Conclusion