1

DEBATE AND DIALOGUE

2

DEBATE/DISPUTE

• Dispute as a verb: • To engage in argument or debate;

• To argue vehemently; wrangle; quarrel.

• Dispute as a noun:

• To argue or debate about; discuss;

• To argue against; to call into question, as in

to dispute a proposal.

• To quarrel or fight about; to contest;

• To strive against; oppose.

3

SYNONYMS FOR “DISPUTE/DEBATE”

Bicker

Squabble

Altercation

Wrangle

4

DEBATE

•Debate as a verb:

• To engage in argument or discussion;

• To dispute or disagree about

•Synonyms:

• Dispute

• Contend

• Argue

5

DIALOGUE

• As a verb:

• To carry on a dialogue; to converse

• To discuss areas of disagreement frankly in order to resolve them.

• As a noun:

• Conversation between two or more persons;

• An exchange of ideas or opinions with a view toward reaching an amicable agreement or settlement

6

• The conversation between characters in a literary work, or a literary work in the form of a conversation.

•Synonyms

•Chat

•Conversation

•Communication

•Conference

•Discussion

7

BEING A SERVANT-LEADER• Includes a spiritual assistant

• Don’t have to agree on everything

• Use dialogue; avoid dispute/debate

• Dispute/debate against Christian principles

•Not looking for “winners” and “losers”

•Working for win-win situations

8

DIFFERENCES IN DEBATE AND DIALOGUE• DEBATE

• Win

• Listen to find flaws

• Be critical

• Opinionated

• Make assumptions

• Prove other person wrong

• Intimidate by anger

• DIALOGUE

• Understand

• Listen to understand

• Accept

• Open to change

• Own experiences

• Common understanding

• Express one’s experience

9

LISTENING• A duty of all Franciscans, especially spiritual assistants

• A requirement for dialogue, collaboration, and inter-action

• Listen attentively

• Give your full attention to the speaker

• Try to understand what the speaker is saying

• Don’t be composing your own response

10

RELATED TO PRAYING• To listen to God – Father, Son, Holy Spirit – requires self-

emptying

• Francis – from power, wealth and security to life of vulnerability and minority: a total self-emptying

• Be filled with God’s love, and give that love to others by divesting ourselves of selfishness and self-centeredness

• Seen in our relationships with others – especially our families and fraternity council

11

• “Only those who can see and feel for another can love another without trying to possess the other. Poverty is that free and open space within the human heart that enables us to listen to the other, to respect the other and to trust the other without feeling that something vital will be taken from us. . . .”

Ilia Delio, “Christian Life in a World of Change,” AFCU Journal 7 (2010) p. 9

12

QUALITIES THAT HINDER UNDERSTANDING

• I am right.

• Everyone must agree with me.

• Rigid stubborness.

• I must correct all “erroneous” views.

13

ONGOING FORMATION

• Each member must understand the place and job of spiritual assistant.

• In case of major dispute, try and resolve with the council including spiritual assistant.

• Dispute amongst council member, try to resolve with spiritual assistant.

14

FACILITATORS

• Can be used if spiritual assistant can’t diffuse disagreements within fraternity

• Creates atmosphere for both sides to hear and understand

• Used both inside and outside the Church

• Consider before it’s too late