Dealing with Difficult People

Communication Skills

Choices When Dealing with People

• Stay and do nothing• Leave• Change your attitude• Change your behavior

Communication Skills

Principles of Effective Communication

• Have a direction • Pay attention to the pattern of the

communication• Be flexible• Commit to a solution

Influence Others and Maximize Results

The Platinum Rule

“Do unto others as they want to be

done unto.”

Identify Your Communication Styleand Understand Others

Get It Right

Get Along

Get It Done

Get Appreciated

Task Focused

Passive Aggressive

People Focused

Table Activity

Identify Your Communication Type

• Identify 2 strengths of that style• Identify 2 weaknesses of that style

Be prepared to report out in 10 min

“Get It Done”

Behavior

Characteristics

• Focus on tasks• Intend to “get it done”• Focused, direct,

blunt• Communicate

directly & to the point

“Get It Done”

Strengths

• Decisive • Get Things Done • Confident

“Get It Done”

Weaknesses

• Intimidate • Alienate people • Use force instead of cooperation

“Get It Done”

When under pressure, “Get It Done” people tend to

• Raise their voice• Bully & take pot shots at others• Behave arrogantly

“Get It Done”

Don'ts

• Spend too much time on one issue• Come in unprepared• Sit “on the fence” (“No” is acceptable)• Show a lack of focus

“Get It Done”

Do’s

• Get to the point• Businesslike approach• Be task-oriented• Understand and support their goals

Dealing with EXTREME “Get It Done” Behavior

TANKS

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

Stand your ground: Hold your position• Tanks don’t stop for those they

don’t respect • Might need to state “Excuse me I

haven’t finished” to interrupt the interruptions

• Be calm until tirade runs down

Focus on the bottom line – look at the underlying problem

Offer peace with honor

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior

KNOW-IT-ALLS

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Done” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

• Know your stuff – be prepared if possible• Need to open your mind to new ideas with

them• Backtrack with respect• Present alternative viewpoints indirectly –

plant seeds since you can’t tell them what to do

• Direct the “Know-It-All” into a mentoring opportunity

“Get It Right”

Behavior

Characteristics

• Focus on tasks• Intend to “get it right”• Pay attention to details,

think systematically• Need to be correct• Communicate indirectly

and detailed

“Get It Right”

Strengths

• Accurate • Fact finder• Precise • Organized

“Get It Right”

Weaknesses

• Stubborn • Boring • Unimaginative • Change Stifler

“Get It Right”

When Under Pressure (i.e. when not feeling like they are getting it

right)

“Get It Right” people tend to• Become silent• Flee or withdraw• Exhibit negative behavior

“Get It Right”

Don’ts

• Show lack of attention to detail• Be inconsistent• Be disorganized• Be overly emotional

Do’s

• Know your stuff• Schedule time – make an appointment• Use facts, logic, structure• Proceed step-by-step

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior

NO PEOPLE

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

• Let them voice concerns and use them as a resource

• Clarify to reduce generalizations

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior

COMPLAINERS

Dealing with Extreme “Get It Right” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

• Listen carefully to their areas for concern• Direct efforts toward a solution• Move them into the “problem-solving”

mode step-by-step• Provide information that answers “who,

what, where, why and how”

“Get Appreciated”

Behavior

Characteristics

• Focus on people• Intend to “get

appreciated”• Display creativity,

warmth, charisma, and energy

• Communicate directly and elaborately

“Get Appreciated”

Strengths• People-oriented• Persuasive • Verbal skills• Optimistic

Weaknesses• Egotistical • Lack follow through• Flakey• Disorganized

“Get Appreciated”

When “Under Pressure”

• Talk more loudly and quickly• Throw tantrums• Exaggerate

“Get Appreciated”

Don’ts

• Be rigid in thinking (these are free spirits!)• Show a lack of challenge• Give too many details• Follow the rules blindly

“Get Appreciated”

Do’s

• Allow flexibility• Be enthusiastic• Let them talk• Use demonstrations (visual people)

Dealing with Extreme “Get Appreciated” Behavior

THINK THEY KNOW-IT-ALL PEOPLE

Dealing with Extreme “Get Appreciated” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

• Ask for specifics• Tell it like it is• Give credit when due• Give them an out• Use third-party documentation

“Get Along”

Behavior Characteristics

• Focus on people• Intend to “get along”• Behave in an agreeable,

personable, friendly, caring and helpful manner

• Need to be liked• Communicate indirectly

and considerately

“Get Along”

Strengths

• Likeable • Loyal • Team Player • Patient

Weaknesses

• Indecisive • Waste Time • Overly Emotional • Illogical Decisions

“Get Along”

When “Under Pressure”

• Submit• Accommodate• Exhibit passive-aggressive behavior

“Get Along”

Don’ts

• Ignore feelings• Force a decision• Be too intense or formal• Threaten• Fail to recognize the “people” aspect

“Get Along”

Do’s

• Be casual and sincere• Slow down and listen• Make honesty safe • Set goals• Build it up – strengthen the relationship

Dealing with Extreme “Get Along” Behavior

“YES” PEOPLE

Dealing with Extreme “Get Along” Behavior

Best Ways to Communicate

• Encourage honesty– Make honesty safe

• Assist in making realistic commitments• Ensure commitments – may need a

little micro-managing• Strengthen the relationship – need

people/people time

Dealing with Difficult Behavior

Activity

Volunteer – 1 per table

Your team is in charge of planning the next Annual State Meeting

10 min to plan the “ideal” day