Crucial Conversations based on the book by:By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler

Geraldine Roberts-MooreWendy ZdebRochester Community Schools

Crucial ConversationsWhat makes a conversation crucial vs. typical?First, opinions varySecond, the stakes are highThird, emotions run strong

Crucial Conversations How do we typically handle crucial conversations:We can avoid themWe can face them and handle them poorlyWe can face them and handle them well

Crucial ConversationsWhy dont crucial conversations tend to go well?Emotions tend to ruleYour body physically reactsWe are under pressureWe are stumpedWe act in self defeating ways

Crucial ConversationsCommon Crucial ConversationsEnding a relationshipAsking a friend to repay a loanGiving the boss feedback about her behaviorCritiquing a colleagues workTalking to a team member who isnt keeping commitmentsTalking to a colleague who is hoarding information or resources

Crucial ConversationsWhy it is important to master crucial conversation skills:Kick Start Your CareerImprove Your OrganizationImprove Your RelationshipsRevitalize Your CommunityImprove Your Personal Health

Crucial Conversations

There are 8 Principles and Skills

See your chart in the handouts

Review the Law of Crucial Conversations graphic

Get Unstuck

Spot the conversations that are keeping you stuck

Hold the right crucial conversation with CPR

Get UnstuckPartner Discussion:What conversations am I not holding or not holding well?Share an example of a conversation which is long overdue.

Am I holding the right crucial conversations?

Start with Heart

Work on me first

Focus on what you really want

Refuse the Suckers Choice

Start with HeartActivity: Watch Video Clip, The Apologyhttps://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx

What do I really want? Am I behaving in ways that move me toward what I want?Am I making Suckers Choices?

Learn to LookLook for when a conversation becomes crucialLook for silence and violenceLearn to look for your own Style Under StressActivity: Watch video clips/ labelhttps://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx

Learn to LookAm I noticing signs that safety is at risk?

Am I moving to my Style Under Pressure?Activity: Take a few minutes to complete the survey independently.- The survey can be submitted/scored on the VitalSmarts website.

Make It Safe

Apologize when appropriate

Contrast to fix misunderstandings

Create Mutual Purpose

Make It SafeHave I established Mutual Purpose?Have I maintained respect?

Activity: Watch video clip. Share an example of how we can make it safe for our staff members.https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx

Master My StoriesSeparate facts from stories

Watch for three clever storiesVictim, Villain and Helpless

Tell the rest of the story

Master My StoriesAm I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?Activity: Watch video clip, how could this same example be applied to a school setting?https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx

STATE My PathSTATE:Share your factsTell your storyAsk for others paths (what)Talk tentativelyEncourage testing (how)

STATE My PathAm I really open to others views?

Am I confidently expressing my own views?

Explore Others Paths

Explore with added AMPPs:AskMirrorParaphrasePrime

Explore Others Paths

Am I actively exploring others views?

Move to Action

Decide how to decide

Document who does what by when and follow-up

Move to Action

What is the plan from here?