do it with

WritingRecognizing Potential Problems & Learning to Correct Them

http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/style/ adapted

WRITING STYLE Part Of The Problem -

SUBJECTIVE

People have different ideas about what constitutes good writing style

What’s the point?• Communicating & being understood– Get point across– As straightforwardly as possible

• Some writing may be grammatically correct– Wordy / Awkward

• Express ideas + directly, elegantly, & persuasively

HOW to IMPROVE• By learning how to recognize matters of style

in your writing, you will have more control – The way someone reads your paper will be a result of

choices you have made. – If those choices are deliberate, you’ll have more control

over how the reader reacts to your argument.

GAME PLAN1. Look at common, style-related writing

problems 2. Tips for finding them 3. Work on correcting them in revision process

WORDINESS • We use “filler” words when we speak– They don’t actually have anything to add to the meaning

• In writing, filler words & phrases are more obvious & act as delays in getting the reader to your point.– May be unrelated to style• Uncertainty about topic• Lack of a developed argument• Lack of evidence.

But if you aren’t sure what you want to say, you may have trouble saying it.

?• Struggling to find what you mean or playing with a vague idea or concept• You write garbled / rambling sentences. • It doesn’t mean that you are a “bad” writer or that you have a “bad”

writing style or ideas. • It indicates you are using writing as a way to think—to discover your point. • It’s okay to let yourself think on the page & write to discover what you

mean. • Taking time to write & clarify your point for yourself may save you time

later.

WORDINESS

Tackling one problem at a time

OVERUSED SAYINGS / EXPRESSIONS Boring & unoriginal

Easy as pie / Don't play with fire, Beauty is skin deep

EX: France bit off more than it could chew in Vietnam, and America’s intervention was too little, too late.HOW TO CORRECT: Replace clichés with more precise descriptions. Slow down & write exactly, precisely what you mean. Ask yourself “why? or “how?”BETTER EX: As the French faltered in Vietnam, even American intervention could not save the collapsing regime.

LOTS OF QUALIFIERSvery, often, hopefully, practically,

basically, really, mostly EX: Most people usually think that having weapons in the home is generally pretty unnecessary.

HOW TO CORRECT: Eliminate some & the point you are making will be stronger & more direct. Some are necessary, but use them carefully & thoughtfully.BETTER EX: Most people think that having weapons in the home is unnecessary.

Using 2 words meaning the same thing

EX: Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes and dreams when she saved the whole entire planet.

HOW TO CORRECT: Choose & use only the most precise term.

BETTER EX: Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes when she saved the planet.

Some Wordiness Takes More Practice

Overuse of prepositional phrases(in, over, of, for, at )

EX: The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island was the inability of Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring expenses at the hands of the headhunters on the other side of the island. HOW TO CORRECT: Circle all preps. / Ask: Who did what to whom? Write it again.BETTER EX: Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because he couldn’t find adequate resources without angering the headhunters.

Stock phrases you can replace with 1 or 2 words

EX: The fact that I did not like the aliens affected our working relationship. The aliens must be addressed in a professional manner.HOW TO CORRECT: Locate this problem as you do clichés. Is this just something people say? What do the words actually mean? Correct this problem by looking for a single word that expresses your meaning. BETTER EX: My dislike of the aliens affected our working relationship. The aliens must be addressed professionally.

Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Graceby Joseph M. Williams

NOUNS (person/place/thing/concept) & VERBS are

& SOUL

the of sentences.

They are the essential elements

S & PREDICATE / ACTOR & ACTIONOne should be able to clearly locate the main S & V in

sentences & , ideally, they are close together in sentences.

STYLE CRIMESome “crimes” are varied symptoms of 1 problem: the S & V (actor & action) are hiding. • The reader has trouble following who is doing what

to whom. • Use of passive voice / weak verbs may make the

text hard to understand. Text’s hard to decipher.

• Use passive voice & weak verbs strategically once you master them.

• If you’re still struggling to figure out what they are, you need to aim for “active voice” and “strong verbs” to improve your writing.

We’ll look at STRONG/WEAK verbs shortly

EX: The alien remains were lost by the government.The alien remains were lost.The car was wrecked.

Better (active):The government lost the alien remains.I wrecked the car.

HOW TO CORRECT: Locate passive tenses / Who’s doing the action? Use the active tense. Put the actor back in the subject of the sentence.

FANCY TERM =making V & ADJ -> NounsTOO MUCH is not good / hard to decipher

EX: The discovery of the aliens was made by the government.The car wreck was a result of a lack of visual focus.There is a need for further study of aliens.

HOW TO CORRECT: Circle all the nouns. Several in 1 sentence?Better: The government discovered the aliens.My sister wrecked the car when she forgot to wear her glasses.

WEAK VERBS

YOU located & corrected passive voice & nominalization problems but your sentences still seem to lack meaning or directness?

Verbs such as “to be” verbs and “have” verbs can often be replaced by “STRONG” verbs, verbs that carry specific meaning. Concentrate on what the subject of your sentence does and make that the verb in the sentence.

WEAK VERBSEX: The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem.

BETTER: The aliens improve our ecosystem.

HOW TO CORRECT: Locate weak verbs by circling all the “to be” & “have” verbs in your paper. Correct weak verbs by omitting them & replacing them with a more meaningful verb. You will need to add information as you specify the nature of the action. Answer the question: “What does the subject really do?”

• It’s fine to use big words if you know them well and they fit your overall tone—just make sure your tone is consistent.

• In other words, don’t say “That miscreant has a superlative aesthetic sense, but he’s dopey.”

• Using overly “erudite” words because it’s wrong to use the same words over and over again? If they are significant or central terms, it’s okay to repeat the same words.

GUILTYNotIf you consistently struggle with 1 of these issues, focus your attention on it If 2 or more are issues, work on 1 at a time. Finish a writing, take the issue you want to address & isolate it. Edit it using the “locate & correct” tactic. Ignore all else (spelling, punctuation, content). It takes time, but by isolating style problems, they’re easier to fix.

GUILTYNot• Look at older samples of your writing & apply the same

strategies. • With practice you will become more able to resolve

style issues faster and make fewer and fewer style errors.

• Try reading papers out loud to yourself as another way to identify style problems.

.