copyright 2008 allyn & bacon1 attraction and love binding forces chapter 7 this multimedia...

Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon 1

Attraction and LoveBinding Forces

Chapter 7

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Attraction and Love

Attraction: The Force That Binds? Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”?


Attraction: The Force That Binds? Physical Attractiveness

Is beauty in the eye of the beholder? Cultural standards for physical attractiveness exist.

Can lead to taking measures to meet cultural expectations Anorexia nervosa: Potentially life-threatening eating

disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a healthy body weight; intense fear of being overweight; a distorted body image; and, in females, lack of menstruation (amenorrhea).

Men prefer women to be somewhat heavier than women think men do.

Women prefer men to be somewhat leaner than men think women do.


Attraction: The Force That Binds?

Lesbians’ physical preferences: Prefer heavier women than men Reject excessive slenderness as attractive

Nonphysical traits Perceived beauty may be enhanced by such

traits as familiarity, liking, respect, and sharing of values and goals



Some facial features associated with beauty appear to be the same across cultures.

Gender-role expectations affect perceptions of physical attractiveness. People who act consistent with gender-role

expectations typically are viewed as more attractive.

People’s names affect perceptions of attractiveness. Matthew versus Sylvester Christine versus Gertrude


Attraction: The Force That Binds? Men report valuing the physical attractiveness of

prospective partners more than women do. Women report valuing the earning potential of

prospective partners more than men do. Although some evidence may support an evolutionary

explanation for attractiveness preferences, it does not fit all the data. Both men and women report that personal characteristics (e.g.,

honesty) matter more than physical features do when considering

long-term partners. And many women also prefer physically attractive partners. Cultural influences can explain the findings, as well.



Attraction-Similarity Hypothesis People tend to develop romantic relationships

with people who are similar to themselves in attractiveness and other traits. Exceptions to this hypothesis happen when a lack

of attractiveness is compensated for by other factors.

Matching can apply to similarity in ethnicity, age, educational level, and religion.



Attitudes: Do “Opposites Attract” or Do “Birds of a Feather Flock Together”? Similarity in attitudes is an important factor in

attraction. Propinquity (nearness) – we tend to live near those

who are similar to us in many ways Similarity is more important to women than to men

Reciprocity Mutual exchange

People like those who they think like them.


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”?

The Greek Heritage The ancient Greeks identified four types of

love. Storge

Loving attachment and nonsexual affection The type of love that binds parents to children

Agape Selfless love A kind of loving that is similar to generosity and charity


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? 4 types of love (cont’d)

Philia Friendship love Based on liking and respect rather than sexual desire

Eros The kind of love that is closest in meaning to the modern-

day concept of passion



Romantic Love in Contemporary Western Culture Western culture idealizes the concept of

romantic love. In the U.S., most people believe romantic love is a

prerequisite for marriage or other kinds of long-term or permanent relationships.

Romantic love involves emotional highs and lows. Women justify sexual activity with love, but men do

not need to attribute love to sexual urges and behavior


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Infatuation

A state of intense absorption in or focus on another person

Usually involves sexual desire, elation, general physiological arousal or excitement; passion

If relationship develops, it typically is enforced by feelings of attachment and caring.

Often a passing fancy, but may develop into deeper feelings and an enduring relationship


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Biological mechanisms:

Bodily changes occur when we feel love: Chemicals in the brain’s pleasure system Hormones Increased nerve growth factor


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Contemporary Models of Love

Love as appraisal of arousal (Berscheid & Hatfield) Romantic love

A kind of love characterized by feelings of passion and intimacy

Physiological arousal that is attributed to feelings of love

Culture that idealizes romantic love



Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick) Romantic love (eros)

“My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.”

Game-playing love (ludus) “I get over love affairs pretty easily.”

Friendship (storge, philia) “The best love grows out of an enduring

friendship.”



Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick) Logical love (pragma)

“I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.”

Possessive, excited love (mania) “When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.”

Selfless love (agape) “My lover’s needs and wishes are more important

than my own.”



Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Three main components of loving relationships

Intimacy Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other Desire to give and receive emotional support

Passion Intense romantic or sexual desire for another person, which

is accompanied by physiological arousal Commitment

Commitment to maintain the relationship despite potential hardships


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love

IntimacyIntimacy

PassionPassion CommitmentCommitment



Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Types of love

Nonlove All components of love are absent.

Liking Intimacy is present. Passion and commitment are absent. Friendship love

Infatuation “Love at first sight” Passion is present. Intimacy and commitment are absent.



Sternberg’s triangular theory of love Types of love

Empty love Commitment is present. Passion and intimacy are absent.

Romantic love Passion and intimacy are present. Commitment is absent.

Companionate love Intimacy and commitment are present. Passion is absent.


Love: “The Morning and the Evening Star”? Sternberg’s triangular theory of love

Types of love Fatuous love

Passion and commitment are present. Intimacy is absent.

Consummate love Full or complete measure of love Combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment An ideal type of love Harder to maintain than to achieve



Sternberg’s triangular theory of love

IntimacyIntimacyIntimacyIntimacy

PassionPassion CommitmentCommitment

RomanticLove

RomanticLove

CompanionateLove

CompanionateLove

ConsummateLove

FatuousLove

FatuousLove

Infatuation

Liking

Empty Love

copyright 2008 allyn & bacon1 attraction and love binding forces chapter 7 this multimedia...

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