confidence, credibility, and conflict
Post on 18-Oct-2014
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DESCRIPTION
Ideas on how to interact more credibly and confidently with co-workers, supervisors, vendors, and others by exploring interests and co-creating mutual gains solutions.TRANSCRIPT
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REQUIRED EXPERIENCE FOR HEALTHY CAREERS
Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict
Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict
Rob BuccinoGuest Presenter, Metro Mentoring Program
NeoCortex Consulting Group
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When do we need confidence and credibility?
In conflict
Our interests
Their interests
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Conflicts are everywhereConflicts are everywhere• Getting heard• Getting respect• Asking for a raise• Selling• Dealing with your kids• Getting promoted• Delegating• Setting priorities• Making group choices
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How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?
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Flee
Fight
We have choices in how wedeal with our fear
We have choices in how wedeal with our fear
Freeze
Compromise
Co-creation
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Flee Freeze Fight Compromise Co-create
Less
Our choices influence our confidence and credibility Our choices influence our confidence and credibility
More
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Why co-create?Why co-create?
• Reduces fear and increases optimism
• Addresses your interests AND theirs
• Can increase the overall ‘win’ (vs. compromise)
• Increases understanding and empathy
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How to co-createHow to co-create
“Yes, but….” “Yes, and….”
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Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told”
Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told”
• Group picks a topic• Two volunteers• Each person says one sentence• Next person says, “Yes, and…” before
continuing the story• Do NOT say, “Yes, but…” or just “Yes”• Continue until told to stop
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• What obstacles block accepting another’s ideas?
• How does it feel to have your ideas consistently accepted and built on?
• In what ways could you use co-creation to build confidence and credibility in your work?
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Learning through listening is
a keyto co-creation
• Probe their interests• Declare your own• Create options for
mutual gains
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Confirm understanding with ‘you-messages’
• “Sounds like…”• “You’re feeling…”• “You’re thinking…”• “You’re concerned…”• “I see…”
The essentials: “You” and “I”The essentials: “You” and “I”
Declare your interests with ‘I-messages’
• “Hear me out…”• “I feel…”• “I’m thinking…”• “I’m concerned…”• “Do you see…”
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Scenario:the performance review
Scenario:the performance review
• On a five-point scale, your boss gave you a “3” for “takes initiative”
• You want your level of initiative to be given greater recognition
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Group exerciseGroup exercise
• Create a “you-message” that helps surface the boss’ interests
• Create an “I-message” that helps you declare your interests
How would you go aboutco-creating mutual gains?
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DiscussionDiscussion
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One other thing to think about…One other thing to think about…
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Credibility thrives on accountabilityCredibility thrives on accountability
• Choose your commitments
• Timelines & specifications
• Not what you “can do,” but “will do”
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In conclusion:from conflict can come creativity,
confidence, and credibility…
In conclusion:from conflict can come creativity,
confidence, and credibility…
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"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face."
Eleanor Roosevelt
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“Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.”
Hamilton Mabie