communication that matters

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Communication That Matters Presented by : David P Fitch, Attorney Elder Law Services, PLLC elderlawminnesota.com caringformyparents.org

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Page 1: Communication that matters

Communication That Matters

Presented by :

David P Fitch, Attorney

Elder Law Services, PLLC

elderlawminnesota.com

caringformyparents.org

Page 2: Communication that matters

George & Martha

Meet

Page 3: Communication that matters

& THE CHILDREN

Eldest SonSon 2 Son 3Oldest

daughterYoungest daughter

Page 4: Communication that matters

Communicate!

Page 5: Communication that matters

WHY?

Page 6: Communication that matters

Control and InvolvementHere is an inevitable fact –

Decisions will be made that affect George & Martha!

The Question is -

Will George & Martha be involved in the decision process?

Page 7: Communication that matters

Expressing Wishes and Desires

For George, Martha & Family

Physical, Mental & Spiritual Health

Financial Matters

“Bucket List”

All of these are Quality of Life Issues Unique to George & Martha

Page 8: Communication that matters

Discuss options George reminds himself that -

Life ALWAYS has Choices and Options

Some are obvious and some are not.

A discussion of Wishes & Desires uncovers OPTIONS that describe ways to achieve wishes and desires

Which leads to ….

Page 9: Communication that matters

Setting a CourseGeorge decides his “WHY”

Which is intertwined with his Wishes & Desires

George has chosen a plan, a road map, a set of steps to follow …

He has made his choice, chosen his options

And by doing this he has created PURPOSE in his life and a HOPE for the future.

George has set his course!

Page 10: Communication that matters

Defuse WorriesGeorge realizes that SETTING a course helps to reduce the …

UNKNOWN.

Which reduces WORRY…

Which breaks the cycle of:

WORRY that leads to …

DISCOURAGEMENT that leads to …

DEFEAT that leads to …

HOPELESSNESS

Page 11: Communication that matters

WHO?

Page 12: Communication that matters

THE POSSIBILITIES OF “WHO” -

Children

Siblings

Friends

Professionals: Pastors, Attorneys, CPA’s, etc

Spouse of a Child

Page 13: Communication that matters

Trusted

George makes his decision based on his own judgment of who he can trust.

George knows that trust is the Greatest attribute of anyone that he confides in with his and Martha’s personal information!

Page 14: Communication that matters

WHAT?

Page 15: Communication that matters

Medical History

George’s & Martha’s Medical History

Critical Information for Family and Health Care Agents*

Much easier for George to create than a third party

* Health Care Agents are established by George & Martha signing properly drafted Health Care Directives.

Page 16: Communication that matters

Personal InventoryFinancial/Personal Account Info

Legal Documents Information

Funeral Pre-Arrangements

Inventory not an accounting

List what you have and where it isBank accounts, insurance, stocks, bonds, IRA’s, etc

List of online accounts and passwords

Where are they?

Wills, Trusts, POA’s, HCD’s, Deeds, Marriage certificates, Divorce decrees, Birth Certificates, Passports, Armed Forces Discharge papers, etc.

Where you keep your pre-arrangement information

Page 17: Communication that matters

Family History/LegaciesFamily Stories

Family Trees

Legacies

Favorite

Biggest Lesson

Funniest

Family Secrets

How far back can you go? Great Grandparents?

3 most important things that you want to tell your family

Your greatest hope for each member of your family

Page 18: Communication that matters

HOW?

Page 19: Communication that matters

Face to Face

With a trusted –

Family Member,

Friend, or

3rd Party

Page 20: Communication that matters

or to a Group

Page 21: Communication that matters

Put it in Writing -Help those that you want to carry out your wishes remember what your wishes are!

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Video or Audio

Great way to share stories, pictures, personal encouragements, messages to be played at a funeral.

Be Creative!

Page 23: Communication that matters

ACTION STEPS

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Just Do This Now!

Starting is half the Challenge!

This presentation and the “worksheets” for the “What to Communicate” section are

available for download at www.caringformyparents.org/

Page 25: Communication that matters

Credits