COLLEGE ESSAY

College Application time! AKA…

The most dreaded time of the year!

MISS AMORINGRADE 12 ENGLISH 4

SO MANY COLLEGES TO CHOOSE FROM!!!

WHY DO STUDENTS NEED TO

WRITE A COLLEGE ESSAY???

Colleges want learn about applicants on a more personal level (aside from grades, activities and SAT scores that are on transcript)!

PERSONALITY!!!! They want to know a little about your life

experiences and gain knowledge about students’ CHARACTER!

Would you be a good fit for that university?

They also get an idea of your writing capabilities and intellect based on the written essay.

TIPS FOR WRITING THE COLLEGE ESSAY!

Answer the question (topic)

Be original!

Be yourself

Don’t “thesaurize” your composition

Use imagery and clear, vivid prose (5 senses)

Use transitions

TIPS FOR WRITING THE COLLEGE ESSAY!

Do something else! Don’t writing what 123928382783947823947823947 others will write!

“Show” emotions, don’t just write them!

Give your draft to others.

End strong!

Revise, revise revise!

Keep the essay to four paragraphs, single-spaced, not indented, and skip lines between each paragraph only

Creative Writing

“SHOWING” versus “Telling”

Very often, students struggle with being creative in writing which is a big challenge.

A way to enhance one’s writing is through the use of “showing” feelings, responses, and actions instead of just “telling” the audience about such emotions.

SHOWING VS. TELLING

“Showing” versus “Telling” example

“Telling”= Mark became angry when the Jets were losing playoffs. He was even more annoyed by the overall outcome of the game.

* “Showing”= Mark kept twitching his leg while watching the Jets lose the playoffs. He then made the quick decision to turn off his phone to avoid reading the wise-crack texts from his friends. At the completion of the game, he threw his remote at the TV and just went to sleep.

CREATE YOUR OWN EXAMPLE!

Possible feelings/emotions- anger, jealousy, devotion, loyalty,

excitement, love, kindness, lust, happiness, disapproval, gluttony (over-indulgence), greed, pride, upset, sadness, pride, shock, fear, content, nervousness, etc…

Write a “telling” example and a “showing”

example.

PART I: BRAINSTORMING

PART I: BRAINSTORMING

Consider the following and write NOTES next to the “Brainstorming about the College Application Essay” handout. What are your major accomplishments? Can you attribute a certain quality or skill from

someone or from a life experience? Have any people (family, friends, artist,

celebrity, teacher, author, etc..) influenced your life in a meaningful way?

Have any books, movies, culture, art, etc.. Influences your life in a special way?

What was the most difficult time in your life and why?

PART I: BRAINSTORMING CONT…

Have you ever struggled for something and succeeded?

Have you ever experienced a moment of epiphany? How has it changed your perspective?

What is your strongest personality trait? Why?

What have you done outside of a school setting that might be appealing to universities?

What are your dreams for the future? Career path? Influences leading up to choice?

POSSIBLE ‘STYLES’ FOR FORMATTING THE COLLEGE ESSAY

Narrative (most common)

Cause Effect

Comparison

THE COLLEGE ESSAY Four paragraphs (single-spaced, not indented)

Introduction (grab reader’s interest) (most important paragraph of essay)

Body Paragraph 1 (background)

Body Paragraph 2 (continuation of experience… What was gained? What did you learn? How have you grown?)

Conclusion (How experience/topic will guide you in the future/college)

INTRODUCTION*

First paragraph* (consider essay topic) Intrigue audienceOpen in a creative wayLeave reader wanting to learn more about

your PERSONALITY & experience.Create ‘mystery’ if possible

When done writing the introduction, make sure the audience has learned something about your CHARACTER!

GOOD 'UNFOCUSED' INTRODUCTION

"Free like a bird" sounds like a cliché saying to most, but to me, it has deep rooted symbolism, all because of my soul-sister, my Aunt Ana. Heroic figures in our early stages of life are fictitious characters with superpowers who later shift to admirable, courageous, and influential people. As the mind matures, we realize that superpowers are not only supernatural, but can be everyday activities people do; patrolling the streets, fighting crime, saving people in house fires, helping a student when they need an extra push, or even teaching another a useful skill. Such an individual is Ana Varela, my beautiful aunt, who has taught me unforgettable lessons through her own superpowers: artistic creativity and independence.

What was learned about the applicant from this introduction?

  What characteristics does she/he have? The focus of this paragraph is heroes in general and Aunt Ana. All we know about the

writer of the essay is that she possibly gained artistic creativity and independence from her aunt. Remember: the college should be learned about YOUR CHARACTER. Make yourself the focus of the essay, in each paragraph.

FOCUSED INTRODUCTION*****  

As my yellow brush wisped the canvas for its finishing touches, that inner glow of self-fulfillment could not help but shine through. I was smiling at something I never thought I would do, and on my own nonetheless. Going to school, working part-time at Journeys, and hanging out with friends and family basically summed up my routine life. That all changed on my birthday, two weeks prior to this experience. My Aunt Ana, my funky aunt who was always traveling, taking trapeze lessons, going to salsa class, or even dining at some cool Moroccan restaurant in Greenwich Village, had given me a special gift that had forever changed me. When she had first given me that gift certificate for us to go to an art class together, my first thought while putting on a fake smile of excitement was, "Oh goodness. This is so not my thing." How could I say no to my aunt though? Well two weeks later, while I was waiting to meet my aunt in front of the art center, she called me to let me know she was not coming. In fact, she had never planned on coming. That was the point. I now understand it too well. That creative independence she sparked inside me on that day, has not yet left. 

What was learned about the applicant from this introduction?

What characteristics does she/he have?

BODY* OF THE COLLEGE ESSAY

Do’sKeep the focus narrow and personal

Be specific. Generalizations aren’t effective when the audience is looking to learn about the applicant’s character.

Write from the heart with sentiment, then augment writing after.

Use vivid details to describe experiences Five senses “Showing: actions & emotions

GO THAT EXTRA YARD IN WRITING…

Example) Okay:I want to help people. I have gotten so much out of life through the love and guidance of my family, but I know many individuals are not so fortunate. Therefore, I would like to expand the lives of others.

Better:My mom and dad stood on plenty of sidelines ‘til their shoes filled with water or their fingers turned white or someone’s golden retriever signed his name on their coats with mud. I think that kind of commitment is what I would like to bring while working with children.

WRITING PROCESS (BODY)….

Don’ts Don’t just tell them what you think they

want to hear Bring something new to the table

Don’t write a résumé

Don’t write 50 words when 5 will do Don’t drag on ideas or be repetitive. Use sentences wisely

Don’t forget to proofread Spelling and grammar is crucial

“After I graduate form high school…”“From that day one, Daniel was my best

fiend.”

MODEL BODY* PARAGRAPH

While my friends were out doing every activity together because it just seemed like an impossible task without the group, I was venturing elsewhere on my own. Two weeks after my first solo art class, I decided to head into the city and explore. The rush of the people, the smell of the Halal food trucks, the selling of random merchandise by vendors on the side streets, or even the powerwalking women in their heels and business suits on their way to work, just fascinated me. What a lively and happening place this was. Although I had already been to NYC with my family to see plays, it was just so different this time. I felt alive. I walked for hours just discovering Central Park, 34th street, 5th Ave, and other unknown places along the way. As I was looking to head home, I saw a sign on a building door that read, “Loud laughers- come on in! Bring I.D.” Normally, I would have walked by that sign paying no mind to it, but this time, I attempted to go on in. To my surprise, I ended up being in the audience of a live television show that basically needed people to laugh on cue. It was no big deal, but it was just different and fun. Exiting one’s comfort zone truly exemplifies the saying, ‘free as a bird.’ That night on my train ride home, I shot my Aunt Ana a text that simply said, “Thank you.” I liked this new found me, and she was here to stay.

Continued from previous introduction

CONCLUSION

Avoid “wrapping up ideas” like most closing paragraphs.

Show how character traits and experiences that were gained over the years will guide you in college and the future.

Show interest in attending that university.

End strong! Avoid cliché closings.

MODEL CONCLUSION (COLLEGE ESSAY)

Over the past year, I have become a wanderlust. Although I have not yet decided my career path, I look forward to entering college with an open mind for what lies ahead. The independent confidence I have gained has shown me I will find my true self and discover my future career in the process, even if it takes some time. I look forward to taking classes of interest, meeting new people, and learning from my surroundings because that is just part of the course of finding something that I will be passionate about pursuing. A piece of Aunt Ana will also come along for the college ride for she has given me life’s most special gift; endless opportunities.

REVISE! REVISE! REVISE!

Revise yourself Have a peer or family member revise

the essay Ask a teacher to revise the essay Leave essay alone, then go back a few

days later, and revise once again!